FabSwingers.com forum: Delayed Ejaculation

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Figured I'd post in here if anyone has any advice on this matter.

Was a little nervous about posting this, but just thought, why not?

Anyway, I've been in a relationship for nearly 4 months now with a girl I met on here. It's long-distance, but we manage.

We manage when it comes to sex, it's just at times (because I'm on anti-depressants, specifically Effexor) I seem to (having read up on this) be suffering with delayed ejaculation.

An analogy for this perhaps is that, I'm enjoying a 'meal' but as much as I want to carry on and 'finish', I'm just full up.

Working out a pattern, and it seems that there comes a point where I'm forever at a climax and not being able to achieve an orgasm. Only when there's a break, can I orgasm, eventually.

Can be seen as a good thing, but also makes my girlfriend feel bad, even though it's not her fault. If anything, she's doing everything right. Just an incredibly awkward penis to work with.

I know for a fact that this was no problem before I was on the medication, but I have been on the meds for a while now, and wondered (doubt sex therapy would help) if anyone had any advice as to what I should do?

We know each others kinks etc. I'm just unsure if coming off the meds and on to ones where sexual side effects are less common would be of any benefit.

Thanks,

Th1ngy

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Very very common side effect of exfelor. Don't beat yourself up its not you.

Have a word with your doctor and see if he can prescribe an alternative. But unfortunately many ant depressants have sex drive related side effects.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Very very common side effect of exfelor. Don't beat yourself up its not you.

Have a word with your doctor and see if he can prescribe an alternative. But unfortunately many ant depressants have sex drive related side effects.

Sure. Thankyou very much.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Very very common side effect of exfelor. Don't beat yourself up its not you.

Have a word with your doctor and see if he can prescribe an alternative. But unfortunately many ant depressants have sex drive related side effects.

Sure. Thankyou very much.

"
hope it works out for youxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Very very common side effect of exfelor. Don't beat yourself up its not you.

Have a word with your doctor and see if he can prescribe an alternative. But unfortunately many ant depressants have sex drive related side effects.

Sure. Thankyou very much.

hope it works out for youxx"

Thanks. Will note progress.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its awful that so many anti depressants affect libido as thats such an important part of life and relationships for a lot of people

I hope you manage to sort it out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thankyou PureHoneyPot. Didn't mean to wink you by the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well firstly I think your very brave to post this issue on a public forum and yes most anti depressants are detrimental to the libido in one way or another, but you are on the ones worst known for it id go back and speak to your doctor, just be aware the change in meds could mean alternative side effects too, I cant remember wht they were calle a it wasa while ago but my ex wa one some that prevented his erection completely, so it could be case of better the devil you know.

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

South East London

Well done for seeking advice. Go to GP as already advised.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thankyou for your response.

I will book an appointment as soon as I can and have a talk with him. See what's what etc. It could be something that could eventually be overcomed and prevent any further impediment on my rather 'active' sex life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well done for seeking advice. Go to GP as already advised.

Thankyou Innocence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair play for bringing the subject up! Well done Sir!

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By *ench and StripeCouple
over a year ago

Stenalees

not much i can add really except good luck.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

good luck mate .. have you tried different positions .. i cum quicker doggying than a missionary one

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

An ejaculation delay would benefit me at times.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

U agree with all that has been said above but can I ask why it's so important for you to reach ejaculation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I it's things may just be different for you guys for a while. Lots of assurance for gf that she is a tot hottie and that it's nothing to do with her... She may even benefit from extra play time. For me personally, as long as I felt secure about 'us' it wouldn't be a problem. I get my enjoyment from engaging intimacy and the end goal is just a bonus x

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

"U agree with all that has been said above but can I ask why it's so important for you to reach ejaculation?

Not wishing to speak for the OP Evie, but I know when I took anti-depressants it actually felt a bit scary not being about to ejaculate for so long and it actually got boring. I know that sounds crazy, but the problem for me was that the tablets dulled my senses too.

It was like going three times as long with one third of the normal pleasure.

OP - if you come off them or switch, be careful. Don't assume doctors know everything (I hate saying that, especially as I come from a medical family). They often don't realise how debilitating side effects can be and the problems withdrawal can create. Be patient and careful.

I came off too quickly and found I went from lasting forever to lasting seconds - something that was never an issue before medication. They certainly have a profound effect on brain chemistry.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Fair play to you for posting this and well done to those who have helped here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was on anti depressants, I lost my sex. drive totally. ItsIt's a ttough situation to be in.

As others have said different medications will have different side effects. Good luck, and I'm sure you'll find a solution that works for you.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Figured I'd post in here if anyone has any advice on this matter.

Was a little nervous about posting this, but just thought, why not?

Anyway, I've been in a relationship for nearly 4 months now with a girl I met on here. It's long-distance, but we manage.

We manage when it comes to sex, it's just at times (because I'm on anti-depressants, specifically Effexor) I seem to (having read up on this) be suffering with delayed ejaculation.

An analogy for this perhaps is that, I'm enjoying a 'meal' but as much as I want to carry on and 'finish', I'm just full up.

Working out a pattern, and it seems that there comes a point where I'm forever at a climax and not being able to achieve an orgasm. Only when there's a break, can I orgasm, eventually.

Can be seen as a good thing, but also makes my girlfriend feel bad, even though it's not her fault. If anything, she's doing everything right. Just an incredibly awkward penis to work with.

We know each others kinks etc. I'm just unsure if coming off the meds and on to ones where sexual side effects are less common would be of any benefit.

Thanks,

Th1ngy"

As others have said - see your doc.

Couple of points:

1) The more you stress about its - the worse it will get.

2) Neither of you should do 'guilt' trips - it's not helpful. Just enjoy your times together. If you have to fake it occasionally to make the other person happy - well, needs must.

3) I know long distance relationships can work - but sometimes if makes you feel you have to 'perform' on every single occasion you meet. Sex isn't like that (IMHO). It's about the sharing and giving. I've met women who (say they) have never cum - didn't stop them enjoying things and took the pressure off me to 'try to be the first to do that'.