FabSwingers.com forum: Do you need/want a partner to swing?

By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I am a single lady and have been swingling for a number of years alone now.

I havent met the right man(14 years with the wrong one)so do this alone.

I would love to meet a wonderful man to swing with but would only do this as a loving in-relationship couple.

I like that I only have to please myself and the person I am meeting. So do any other people feel they need a partner to swing sucessfully?

I am not sure how I wold swing with a partner as so used to only thinking of me(how selfish I am) but unless I fall in love with a man I am gonna do this as a single.

Do single men feel they need a woman to get more meets or be sucessful at swinging.

Do other single fems prefer to be a single and please themselves or really like to do it as a couple?

Are fuck buddies more appealing or do people rather it be a real couple as in a relationship they meet with.

Just wondered and love your thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i've been looking for such a thing, i've been looking for a cpl for ongoing fun, met a few single fems but not the right one so far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been married for 23yrs and know each other inside and out. We find that if we swing with a married couple/long term partners they seem more grounded. They know what each other likes intimately and can read each other better than f/b can hence we tend to have more relaxed fun with them. Have met singles with their f/b and although good, it hasn't been as relaxed as we'd like. Hope that makes sense!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how long u guys been swinging?

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By *undebigaryMan
over a year ago

dundee

U make sum intresting points.my exgf got me into swinging.bt i miss her more than i do the mad sex.an i wouldnt care if i met anthr girl an she wasnt into it.my worry is if she asks me wot ive done sexualy wth my recent ex.do i tell her the truth.lol but yeh i did enjoy swinging as a couple more than i do now.its just more fun.lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"U make sum intresting points.my exgf got me into swinging.bt i miss her more than i do the mad sex.an i wouldnt care if i met anthr girl an she wasnt into it.my worry is if she asks me wot ive done sexualy wth my recent ex.do i tell her the truth.lol but yeh i did enjoy swinging as a couple more than i do now.its just more fun.lol "

Truth is always best but it all depends if you carry on swinging without future g/f's knowledge. Then I am sure it would get awkward. You might be surprised if you mention it and she is interested!

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By *undebigaryMan
over a year ago

dundee

Truth is always best but it all depends if you carry on swinging without future g/f's knowledge. Then I am sure it would get awkward. You might be surprised if you mention it and she is interested!

"
yeh i wouldnt go behind her back.thats just wrong.bt say i do tel her evrythng an she tels me 2 do one.lol.cos surely i cant b that lucky twice.an wd she b doin it cos she wantd 2 or cos she wants 2 outdo my ex.soz for gtn deep.lol

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

good question....

and I have really thought about it and I don't think I can give you a proper answer... I know that sounds like a kop out answer...

I have always been of the mindset that I need to get me right first... be that health, or wealth or happiness in job or a million other things

I think I have gotten to the stage in my life where I don't feel the need to be part of a couple as such, but if someone came along I wouldn't be that much of a mug to turn it down....

but in the meantime, I am single with no ties and having a blast meeting different people along the way.... if that makes sense.. and in that respect I wouldn't change a thing

brilliant question!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"good question....

and I have really thought about it and I don't think I can give you a proper answer... I know that sounds like a kop out answer...

I have always been of the mindset that I need to get me right first... be that health, or wealth or happiness in job or a million other things

I think I have gotten to the stage in my life where I don't feel the need to be part of a couple as such, but if someone came along I wouldn't be that much of a mug to turn it down....

but in the meantime, I am single with no ties and having a blast meeting different people along the way.... if that makes sense.. and in that respect I wouldn't change a thing

brilliant question!!!!"

Pretty much the same view, although I have been married, had children: my youngest is on the brink of flying the nest to go to uni.

After 24 years of marriage - today would have been my 29th wedding anniversary and 27 years a mum I don't feel a burning need to be a couple, and I wouldn't want to swing as a couple but MFM would be on the cards!!

Should I be fortunate to get another bite of the cherry and find someone special I would embrace it. What I do know I'd take time out for "us" first before venturing out swinging again...if ever: who really knows?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have only been swinging a really short time, but love being a single woman. Like you Fruit, I like being able to do what I want, when I want with whomever I like. I do also play with my fb occasionally, which I enjoy, but purely because it helps with my shyness (and because he's amazing in the sack lol). He's pretty dominant and we've had a few discussions around what I would like to achieve which he's helping with. However I am still very much single even when playing with him. I don't think I would enjoy the rules that couples often put into place. I'm also not sure that if I was with someone I had feelings for that I wouldn't get incredibly jealous..

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Molly if you go with a friend to a club as a couple with a male for example then you play as a couple while your there dont you?

I have been a couple of times to a club with a male as a couple for the eving but never played as a single once we have got there as gone as a couple and my partner in crime for the evening then gets a mutual equal say in who we play with. But I wouldnt leave him alone to play as a single(and me) while there tho as gone as a couple.

Suddenly wondered if other singles do it different for the particular evening.

My concern is too that when I have in the past gone to a club with a partner for the eve we havent fancied the same people and seemed to spend the evening not completely on the same wavelength.

Also to my embarrasment I have seen another single male and thought mmmm really like him to play with us as a mmf but havent had the confidence to mention it as that has felt a little selfish to me on behalf of my partner.

I think the hole going with a guy to a club a rather hard one to sort as I need to think of his desires of who to play with too lol.

Please help me with other singles do on the evening. Stick as a couple, play with another couple preferably or are the men buddying up with the ladies happy for another male to join or are they preferring a woman instead.

Really not sure......?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Molly if you go with a friend to a club as a couple with a male for example then you play as a couple while your there dont you?

Suddenly wondered if other singles do it different for the particular evening.

My concern is too that when I have in the past gone to a club with a partner for the eve we havent fancied the same people and seemed to spend the evening not completely on the same wavelength.

I think the hole going with a guy to a club a rather hard one to sort as I need to think of his desires of who to play with too lol.

Really not sure......?"

I have been to clubs a few times with a male escort, but not played with him at all, we have purely gone as friends (and because I don't drive) But only on nights when single males are allowed. I have been with my fb and played as a couple, however If He wanted to go off with a woman or couple alone then thats fine with me and vice versa. When it comes down to playing as a couple with another couple at a private meet then we would both have to fancy them or it wouldn't happen. As for MMF he's more than happy to oblige luckily and I've promised him a ffm(m) meet. I guess you just have to talk about it. Lots, lol.

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By *rummiePartyManMan
over a year ago

birmingham

I've had a couple of period when I've gone with a lady. I hate that term "FB", prefer to think of each other as "Mixed Doubles Partners", as at the end of the day, my partners and I had our own "real" lives and we treated swinging as others treat tennis, or golf, or other sports. We treated swingers clubs the way that others would treat their sports clubs, somewhere you could go, have a drink, socialise, and have a bit of a play. (still think that our games were better than thwacking a little white ball around the countryside lol)

We met a number of couples and what we (I) found was that there were as many reasons for couples being on the swinging scene as there were people, and their approaches varied just as much. Club rules stated that we had to play together or not at all, but that wasn't a problem as we enjoyed each others company. What we found though was that being married and a "real couple" had as many advantages as it did have disadvantages. You'd be surprised at how many marriages are not at all stable, and at how many women play along to appease their husbands. Likewise, there are a lot of women who are "assertively encouraged" to go down the bi route to please their husbands desires. On the other hand there are some really wild ladies who take the lead in order to get what their husbands can't deliver on (for probably entirely ligitimately medical reasons) It's a right Forrest Gump box of chocolates out there.

I'd hate to say that we weren't too fussy about who we played with, as that gives the wrong idea. However we never insisted on super-models and Chippendales only. Smartness, personality and cleanliness were probably uppermost in our thoughts, as at the end of the day, with technique marking someone out for another go at a later time. We weren't going to have a relationship with each other let alone any of the people we were going to play with, so blazingly good looks were not that high on the agenda. Again, like at tennis, would you only play with the best looking opponent, or the ones with the best technique? I was happier to get the best BJ from an average looking woman than a crap BJ from a beauty queen, and my partner felt the same way about the thrills that she was getting. A Chippendale with a short drawer handle would have been of little use to her.

At the end of the day, I don't think that there are right or wrong ways of going about it. Give something a try, if it works for you, great, if not change it. At least as a single you have that flexibility to change.

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