FabSwingers.com forum: Too risky to play?

By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Hi,

Probably a very controversial subject as per usual but one that has played heavily on my mind lately and has contributed into me deciding to take a step back from FAB.

Does the increased amount of men/women who bareback on here make it risky for even people who like to play safe? I never noticed until I started looking but the amount of profiles I have found with 'cum sluts' who take it 'up all holes' and have frequent 'bareback gangbangs' is alarming! They always seem to have plenty of veris too! Obviously this is going to increase the amount of men/women who partake who potentially have an STI/HIV.

Even playing safe (condoms for oral too OR no condoms for oral) do you ever feel worried about catching somthing still? I have a pretty big fear of contracting somthing (mainly that I wouldn't be able to get rid of) so now my eyes are opened I feel my fun is ruined and it's time to hang up my boots!

Please play nicely, just a discussion not a heated debate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only true safe sex is no sex so do all you can to protect yourself.

Good selection and common sense will serve you well.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I live on a busy A road, which I have to cross to get to my car. I have several options. I can run across the road blindly and hope I don't get hit (bareback). I can wait at the road side, wait for a gap in traffic and cross when it is safer to do so (playing using a condom). Or I can walk 7 minutes up the road, use the footbridge and walk another 7 minutes back to my car (totally abstain).

9 times out of 10 I choose the middle option.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

No-one can force you to have sex without a condom, although accidents do happen. However, if the OP feels that the worry is making the meets no fun then its probably best to stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I opened a post a while back about this . Someone who has HIV posted on it . He is bi and plays unprotected . He says the HIV is undetectable .

This makes me extremely nervous .

I had planned to meet someone until they met a bare back cum slut and then I was off as fast as I could .

I protect my self as much as I can no I don't use condoms for oral but I am actually considering it to be completely honest .

I don't meet often and have regular checks but just always a worry

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By *hocksandmissusCouple
over a year ago

Chester-ish

have to agree there is no truly safe form of sex in any situation but then at the same time there is no guarantee you wont be hit by a bus tomorrow so does that mean we shouldn't leave the house just incase ?

so our thoughts on it are as long as we are as safe as we can be and pick our play friends as wisely as we can then hopefully we will avoid any unnecessary thing oooooo and we do have regular testing as well just to be on the safe side xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Hi,

Probably a very controversial subject as per usual but one that has played heavily on my mind lately and has contributed into me deciding to take a step back from FAB.

Please play nicely, just a discussion not a heated debate!"

Even using condoms doesn't prevent things like herpes, it's weighing up the odds, I don't use condoms for oral, i would rather not bother. I just hope that everyone on the site gets regularly tested and so do I, you can't worry about what everyone does on here, just protect yourself and test regularly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes its always at the back of my mind about catching HIV. I don't meet as often as I would like to but that could be a good thing and if I did meet lots more men then I would go to the GUM clinic a lot more often.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I opened a post a while back about this . Someone who has HIV posted on it . He is bi and plays unprotected . He says the HIV is undetectable .

This makes me extremely nervous .

I had planned to meet someone until they met a bare back cum slut and then I was off as fast as I could .

I protect my self as much as I can no I don't use condoms for oral but I am actually considering it to be completely honest .

I don't meet often and have regular checks but just always a worry "

He also informs everyone of his status in a very open way and allows them to make their own decisions as to whether they play with him and if they want to use condoms or not.

It's not him id be worried about, he knows his status and is upfront about it. It's the 'cum sluts' and the people who meet these types of people and go to 'bareback gangbangs' and then go meet others that worry me, they are not disclosing the fact they could have been with high risk people and therefore not giving people the option to make an informed decision. It's a breeding den for disaster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of things can be passed on through oral. Even HIV has not been ruled out

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Plenty of things can be passed on through oral. Even HIV has not been ruled out

No it hasn't been ruled out because it can and does happen, Herpes and Warts can also be passed even when using condoms, this is my point entirely...even playing safe AND using condoms for oral do they not still worry??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Plenty of things can be passed on through oral. Even HIV has not been ruled out

If you're going to worry that much having taken 'all' possible precautions the surely it's better to abstain forever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think fabbers in general will be at higher risk so you should take every precaution

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

"have to agree there is no truly safe form of sex in any situation but then at the same time there is no guarantee you wont be hit by a bus tomorrow so does that mean we shouldn't leave the house just incase ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not just look after your own sexual health & let others do what they want.

If you don't want to play bareback then don't.

If you don't want to meet people that opening participate in bareback then don't.

I approach every meet with my own sexual health in mind. I have unprotected oral & protected penetration. I have an iud fitted as an extra contraception precaution. I have GUM checks every 3 months and I'm Hep B vaccinated. I've minimised the risks to my health to a level I'm happy with.

I don't worry what other people are doing I just worry about what I am doing. I don't think there has been an increase in people having unprotected sex, I think people are just been more open about it.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Plenty of things can be passed on through oral. Even HIV has not been ruled out

If you're going to worry that much having taken 'all' possible precautions the surely it's better to abstain forever. "

Why didn't I think of that? Il just join a convent while I'm at it too! I may worry a healthy amount but it has not stopped me having meets in the 2 1/2 years I've been on here, I'm just asking the question do others not feel concern?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to me all you can do is protect yourself.....use condoms........there are plenty of things beyond our control, that is one thing we can control. Yes it's not perfect....but what in life is......I could drive my car tomorrow and be killed.......so where do you draw the line.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I opened a post a while back about this . Someone who has HIV posted on it . He is bi and plays unprotected . He says the HIV is undetectable .

No, what he said was the level of virus counts in his blood was undetectable as he sticks to his medication regime. It doesn't mean HIV is undetectable as we all know it is or they wouldn't be able to test for it.

He is completely open about his status on his profile so if people want to meet him they can or they can choose to pass him by.

Also I'm pretty sure that there is no recorded case if someone contracting HIV from oral.....it's an interesting fact that I'm sure I picked up from a documentary.

I wish people would stop worrying about what others are doing & just worried about themselves.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

When what others do doesn't impact on me I will stop worrying/caring about it but for as long as it does I won't ignore the risk!

And I do look after my own sexual health and always have done and I don't stop anyone from doing what they want to do, I may have an opinion on it but I don't stop them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Plenty of things can be passed on through oral. Even HIV has not been ruled out

I'd think if you are that worried then maybe this lifestyle is not for you. Everything in life comes with a risk. It's up to us as individuals to assess whether we take that risk. Nobody else can make that decision for you.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Plenty of things can be passed on through oral. Even HIV has not been ruled out

I have been meeting off fab for around 2 1/2 years, only recently seeing certain profiles have the alarm bells started to ring in my ears. It's hard because I enjoy my fab lifestyle but also want to stay completely safe too. It's easier to talk to people on here about it than other friends who don't really understand the lifestyle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Plenty of things can be passed on through oral. Even HIV has not been ruled out

If you're going to worry that much having taken 'all' possible precautions the surely it's better to abstain forever.

Of course we all feel concern .

The bareback cum sluts .

The guys that fuck them .

Those who play safe .

But here's the thing , we all make our own informed choices , by whatever each and every one of us sees fit .

Your angst and concern clearly are playing on your mind so much that a break may well be best for you , but it's your choice .

And if we felt the same way as you do , we would stop too . But in the 3 years we have been swinging , we get checked every month and so far so good , so we will carry on regardless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything in life has a risk. I smoke fags. I take a risk of dying from being a smoker. Only each individual can weigh up what risk they wish to take in life

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Of course we all feel concern .

The bareback cum sluts .

The guys that fuck them .

Those who play safe .

But here's the thing , we all make our own informed choices , by whatever each and every one of us sees fit .

Your angst and concern clearly are playing on your mind so much that a break may well be best for you , but it's your choice .

And if we felt the same way as you do , we would stop too . But in the 3 years we have been swinging , we get checked every month and so far so good , so we will carry on regardless

I'm not looking to give the lifestyle up altogether, not just yet. I just wish it was like it was a few years ago! The word has got out about fab and now every tom dick and Harry's on here! Harder to find gen people who look after themselves!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know that there are people on this site that have, and still have, unprotected sex, and far be it for me or anybody to judge them.

But every "CumSlut" profile I have seen (and thats only afew) they have demanded everyone to be fully tested and bring proof before any contact at all.

so if everyone is "clean" and hsve proof of this then surly thats about as safe as you canbe isnt it?

I pepersonally would rather have bareback sex with someone that I knew 100% "clean" than use a condom with someone I actually didnt really have a clue about......

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I know that there are people on this site that have, and still have, unprotected sex, and far be it for me or anybody to judge them.

But every "CumSlut" profile I have seen (and thats only afew) they have demanded everyone to be fully tested and bring proof before any contact at all.

so if everyone is "clean" and hsve proof of this then surly thats about as safe as you canbe isnt it?

I pepersonally would rather have bareback sex with someone that I knew 100% "clean" than use a condom with someone I actually didnt really have a clue about......"

Some of the ones I've seen haven't mentioned a thing about tests or being clean, plus tests can only be so valid (only valid on the day your tested/things take time to show I.e 2 weeks for chlymidua and 12 weeks for HIV) so I wouldn't go as far as saying that they are clean by any means.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know that there are people on this site that have, and still have, unprotected sex, and far be it for me or anybody to judge them.

But every "CumSlut" profile I have seen (and thats only afew) they have demanded everyone to be fully tested and bring proof before any contact at all.

so if everyone is "clean" and hsve proof of this then surly thats about as safe as you canbe isnt it?

I pepersonally would rather have bareback sex with someone that I knew 100% "clean" than use a condom with someone I actually didnt really have a clue about......

fair point

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By *ilthygorgeous1Couple
over a year ago

Oxford

"i think fabbers in general will be at higher risk so you should take every precaution "

I would say fabbers and vanilla folk share an equal chance of a dose if playing unprotected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're going to worry that much having taken 'all' possible precautions the surely it's better to abstain forever. "

This is my thinking too... It always amazes me that its those that declare bareback get the rough deal... Most of them will get regular checks.... It's those that think condoms make them invincible but don't get tested that worry me.

But I think if your worried full stop this lifestyle isn't for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know that there are people on this site that have, and still have, unprotected sex, and far be it for me or anybody to judge them.

But every "CumSlut" profile I have seen (and thats only afew) they have demanded everyone to be fully tested and bring proof before any contact at all.

so if everyone is "clean" and hsve proof of this then surly thats about as safe as you canbe isnt it?

I pepersonally would rather have bareback sex with someone that I knew 100% "clean" than use a condom with someone I actually didnt really have a clue about......"

There's no such thing as a guarantee that anyone is 100% clean...even a clear HIV test only gives the picture of whether or not you were infected up to 3 months ago because the antibodies they test for don't show up in your blood for up to 12 weeks...

What I'd be interested in is what people are giving as proof in these situations...many gum clinics don't give written certificates and they could be easily faked...you only have to look at some of the recent outbreaks in the porn industry to be able to see that this is not a foolproof system

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

"Hi,

Probably a very controversial subject as per usual but one that has played heavily on my mind lately and has contributed into me deciding to take a step back from FAB.

Please play nicely, just a discussion not a heated debate!"

Great post.... yes I have noticed it too, I have joined the site 6 months ago I usually get asked why no verification my answer to that is simple waiting to find the right person to play safe with and feel comfortable

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"I know that there are people on this site that have, and still have, unprotected sex, and far be it for me or anybody to judge them.

But every "CumSlut" profile I have seen (and thats only afew) they have demanded everyone to be fully tested and bring proof before any contact at all.

so if everyone is "clean" and hsve proof of this then surly thats about as safe as you canbe isnt it?

I pepersonally would rather have bareback sex with someone that I knew 100% "clean" than use a condom with someone I actually didnt really have a clue about......

Yes and knowing a potential meet had been in a situation with a lady who enjoys bare back gangbangs has made me change my mind about him... It's a shame but that was my personal informed choice due to me feeling that I choose my own risks and even the idea safe play with him didn't sit safe enough in my head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Op raises some great points and a good considered debate. One Question arises in my mind. Do you think that having experienced some great times, like you have that with all the worries you now have that you could walk away from swinging and never do it again.

Funnily enough we are going through this mill. Mrs n says she is getting worried that the roulette wheel is stacking against us after 12 years of naughty fun.

Problem is I'm not sure if I am ready to hang up my swinging boots just yet. Difficult one isn't it and surely it is still possible to keep risks to a minimum.

Also you raise this question of an HIV positive Bi guy who takes his Meds. Am I right in saying he believes he cannot pass this dreadful illness on. Surely that can't be right. Now that is worrying if so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Op raises some great points and a good considered debate. One Question arises in my mind. Do you think that having experienced some great times, like you have that with all the worries you now have that you could walk away from swinging and never do it again.

Funnily enough we are going through this mill. Mrs n says she is getting worried that the roulette wheel is stacking against us after 12 years of naughty fun.

Problem is I'm not sure if I am ready to hang up my swinging boots just yet. Difficult one isn't it and surely it is still possible to keep risks to a minimum.

Yes he says he is undetectable

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Funnily enough we are going through this mill. Mrs n says she is getting worried that the roulette wheel is stacking against us after 12 years of naughty fun.

Problem is I'm not sure if I am ready to hang up my swinging boots just yet. Difficult one isn't it and surely it is still possible to keep risks to a minimum.

Actually it was very interesting, I'm no medical person but he said that with his medication the virus was undetectable and that in various medical tests there has never been a case of HIV being transmitted from an undetectable person. He quoted various things and sounded like he knew what he was on about. I think that personally i still wouldn't take the risk. Just incase. But as has been said he states very clearly on his profile his situation, doesn't try to hide anything, is very open and will happily discuss it all.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Funnily enough we are going through this mill. Mrs n says she is getting worried that the roulette wheel is stacking against us after 12 years of naughty fun.

Problem is I'm not sure if I am ready to hang up my swinging boots just yet. Difficult one isn't it and surely it is still possible to keep risks to a minimum.

You know exactly (well your wife) how I'm feeling! I loved it when I first went to a club around 3 years ago, I like meeting new people, I like waking up on a Sunday with no plans and ending up in bed with a lovely man in the afternoon/evening! I like the unexpectedness of it all but seeing this one particular person and suspecting that someone I have met has played with her I can't turn the worry switch off! I've always worried a bit but it's never got in the way of play but this just feels a bit more final for me and I just don't know how id feel about a life without unexpected sex would be?

The guy mentioned who has HIV has done a lot of research and has a doctor who is a lead researcher into the disease, he openly admits to being infected and makes sure people are fully aware of his status but he let's others make the informed decision as to play with him or not (bare or with protection) he also only rarely plays bare only with his boyfriend usually. There is an on going debate over 'detect-ability' and there is research to support what he says about not being able to pass it on if he is undetectable BUT this is for the people who meet him to decide I think, he is genuine honest and upfront and if everyone was like him I would feel about a million times better but it's the ones who don't disclose or the ones who don't get checked and have no idea that they have it (I'm sure the figures are about 22,000 In the UK don't know they have it) That worry me!

I'm going to get tested tomorrow (as I do 3 monthly), I'm not Snow White, I do insist on condom usage for penetration but there are plenty of other ways you can catch things and I must say I'm worried! I'm always worried to a degree when getting tested (the What If? Scenario) but after seeing this one particular profile and presuming a guy I've had a meet with has been with her it's concerned me a bit! I'm probably being silly as always and it'll all be fine like it always has but nobody ever thinks they'll be the one to catch anything serious do they!

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

He is an absolute doll, despite me treating him like a test subject (asking him millions of questions and being very naive about the subject) educated me and talked to me about studies and stats. He helped me understand a bit more about HIV and that it's not the killer it was in the 80's. He takes 1 pill a day and hasn't had any set backs or problems since he was diagnosed. He lives a normal life. We talked about the stigma which is one of the worst things about HIV.

He is a lovely well educated lad who unfortunately contracted this disease and is now living with it but you know what he's a joy to talk to, no self pity no sadness just realness. He is an inspiration really.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Hi,

Probably a very controversial subject as per usual but one that has played heavily on my mind lately and has contributed into me deciding to take a step back from FAB.

Please play nicely, just a discussion not a heated debate!

Don't rush yourself, take your time to find someone good who you can trust! I miss having that! despite what you read I've had a few really good FB's off here who I've had great times with and even more so because I haven't worried afterwards! it's lovely when you find that!

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

We (me & Kim) have had sex with hundreds of people over an 18yr period and have never had an STD.

We always use condoms for intercourse and oral is without, if its making adult industry films these are bareback but we all have to have up to date continous 28 day tests with certs/

Letters with passport/driving license nuber for proof.

This may not be perfect but we rarely get many outbreaks of STDs in the UK industry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funnily enough we are going through this mill. Mrs n says she is getting worried that the roulette wheel is stacking against us after 12 years of naughty fun.

Problem is I'm not sure if I am ready to hang up my swinging boots just yet. Difficult one isn't it and surely it is still possible to keep risks to a minimum.

Thanks for not jumping down my throat and your information is useful to know these things. Good that the guy is very open about it and it is reassuring to know that if the meds are being taken it's very hard to pass it on. I honestly didn't know that and glad the forum exists to discuss such things. Main thing in my opinion is to get tested regularly and to minimise risks as best you can.

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By *efthanderMan
over a year ago

Woodbridge

"Why not just look after your own sexual health & let others do what they want.

If you don't want to play bareback then don't.

If you don't want to meet people that opening participate in bareback then don't."

Totally agree with you Miss Minxy - bareback between two consenting adults means that it is no one else's business. End of story!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

Probably a very controversial subject as per usual but one that has played heavily on my mind lately and has contributed into me deciding to take a step back from FAB.

Please play nicely, just a discussion not a heated debate!"

What worries me most is that people have no issues with being dishonest with you about past play its just not fair.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Hi,

Probably a very controversial subject as per usual but one that has played heavily on my mind lately and has contributed into me deciding to take a step back from FAB.

Please play nicely, just a discussion not a heated debate!

What worries me most is that people have no issues with being dishonest with you about past play its just not fair."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We (me & Kim) have had sex with hundreds of people over an 18yr period and have never had an STD.

We always use condoms for intercourse and oral is without, if its making adult industry films these are bareback but we all have to have up to date continous 28 day tests with certs/

Letters with passport/driving license nuber for proof.

This may not be perfect but we rarely get many outbreaks of STDs in the UK industry."

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Funnily enough we are going through this mill. Mrs n says she is getting worried that the roulette wheel is stacking against us after 12 years of naughty fun.

Problem is I'm not sure if I am ready to hang up my swinging boots just yet. Difficult one isn't it and surely it is still possible to keep risks to a minimum.

No probs, I will admit my initial reaction when I saw he was HIV positive what of complete shock and disbelief that he would even consider what he was doing to be ok. I had no idea that what he said was even possible either. But I've read up a bit on it as a result, like I say I still wouldn't take the chance knowing my shit luck i would be the first person to catch it that way! Ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course we all feel concern .

The bareback cum sluts .

The guys that fuck them .

Those who play safe .

But here's the thing , we all make our own informed choices , by whatever each and every one of us sees fit .

Your angst and concern clearly are playing on your mind so much that a break may well be best for you , but it's your choice .

And if we felt the same way as you do , we would stop too . But in the 3 years we have been swinging , we get checked every month and so far so good , so we will carry on regardless

you really think that things have changed? Just because there are more people on the site doesn't equate with more people having more risky sex. The risk has always been there. It's not a new thing. I agree if you're really that worried then get a regular trusted partner. We all know the risks and we decide how much risk we are prepared to take.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Of course we all feel concern .

The bareback cum sluts .

The guys that fuck them .

Those who play safe .

But here's the thing , we all make our own informed choices , by whatever each and every one of us sees fit .

Your angst and concern clearly are playing on your mind so much that a break may well be best for you , but it's your choice .

And if we felt the same way as you do , we would stop too . But in the 3 years we have been swinging , we get checked every month and so far so good , so we will carry on regardless

I do genuinely feel things are different, I'm getting more and more ' wanna fuck' first messages this year than say in 2012, I think the word has got round and now a lot of people use these sites as free prostitute sites and I myself believe there are a lot more who take risks but that's just my opinion.

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

"Hi,

Probably a very controversial subject as per usual but one that has played heavily on my mind lately and has contributed into me deciding to take a step back from FAB.

Please play nicely, just a discussion not a heated debate!

totally agree with you. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/09/14 22:00:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure how you can quantify that but if that is your opinion then fine. You can't help How you feel. I know that if I was that worried about catching something and thought that the precautions that I take along with regular testing wasn't diminishing the risk as much as I would like, then I wouldn't swing. For me, it wouldn't be worth the trauma and the anxiety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been in this lifestyle a long time.. And I think all that has happened is recently people are feeling more open with if they bareback or not..

Sad thing is that with some of the way people react to those that are honest.. it will just push it back underground and you never really know where someone has just been or if they REALLY Play safe.

Just take the risks your prepared to and get tested often x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funnily enough we are going through this mill. Mrs n says she is getting worried that the roulette wheel is stacking against us after 12 years of naughty fun.

Problem is I'm not sure if I am ready to hang up my swinging boots just yet. Difficult one isn't it and surely it is still possible to keep risks to a minimum.

Your friend is talking about viral load, he may have an undetectable viral load in his blood but that does not mean that he has an undetectable viral load in his semen.

The fact that he has HIV means that he CAN potentially pass this on.

Undetectable does not mean uncommunicable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had some wrote to me asking for a meet ,,,, but he said read his profile and see if i was comfortable with it , turn out he had HIV

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Funnily enough we are going through this mill. Mrs n says she is getting worried that the roulette wheel is stacking against us after 12 years of naughty fun.

Problem is I'm not sure if I am ready to hang up my swinging boots just yet. Difficult one isn't it and surely it is still possible to keep risks to a minimum.

Your friend is talking about viral load, he may have an undetectable viral load in his blood but that does not mean that he has an undetectable viral load in his semen.

The fact that he has HIV means that he CAN potentially pass this on.

Undetectable does not mean uncommunicable. "

It's not my arguement to have, I don't know everything about HIV by any means, he has done his research during the time he has had it. I haven't done any research so I can't comment on who is right really.

I think the point with him is though is that he's completely open and honest and doesn't sugar coat anything, people know the truth with him and they can make their own decisions. He doesn't try and fool anyone so shouldn't have really been brought up at all in this thread, and I just hope if he does see he's not offended or upset by any of the comments. It seems very very wrong to talk about someone who isn't on here to atleast defend himself (not aimed at the person I an replying to directly-just in general)

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I had some wrote to me asking for a meet ,,,, but he said read his profile and see if i was comfortable with it , turn out he had HIV

He was honest and upfront with you, that's good surely? HIV positive people do still have sex drives I don't understand why you are shocked?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I had some wrote to me asking for a meet ,,,, but he said read his profile and see if i was comfortable with it , turn out he had HIV

At least he said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had some wrote to me asking for a meet ,,,, but he said read his profile and see if i was comfortable with it , turn out he had HIV

He was honest and upfront with you, that's good surely? HIV positive people do still have sex drives I don't understand why you are shocked? "

I know they have sex ,,,, i didn't say they didn't i said i was just a bit shock and i was glad he was upfront cause most people ain't on fab

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By *mmie2014Man
over a year ago

London

"I opened a post a while back about this . Someone who has HIV posted on it . He is bi and plays unprotected . He says the HIV is undetectable .

He is completely open about his status on his profile so if people want to meet him they can or they can choose to pass him by.

Also I'm pretty sure that there is no recorded case if someone contracting HIV from oral.....it's an interesting fact that I'm sure I picked up from a documentary.

I wish people would stop worrying about what others are doing & just worried about themselves."

perfectly said.

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By *mmie2014Man
over a year ago

London

"I have been in this lifestyle a long time.. And I think all that has happened is recently people are feeling more open with if they bareback or not..

Sad thing is that with some of the way people react to those that are honest.. it will just push it back underground and you never really know where someone has just been or if they REALLY Play safe.

Just take the risks your prepared to and get tested often x"

So true!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone, anywhere, who is sexually active, can catch an STI, and that's whether they have sex with one person or a hundred.

Sex is not only available through this site, men and women are also having sex outside of the swinging world, every sexual act they encounter will not be recorded via their fab profile.

The other thing is that (shock horror) people will not disclose all they do and they lie.

The only safe sex is no sex otherwise protect yourself by ensuring the guy is wearing a condom. Be vigilant at all times etc.

If you worry though then I would abstain from any sexual contact completely, in swinging and in your real life.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Anyone, anywhere, who is sexually active, can catch an STI, and that's whether they have sex with one person or a hundred.

Sex is not only available through this site, men and women are also having sex outside of the swinging world, every sexual act they encounter will not be recorded via their fab profile.

The other thing is that (shock horror) people will not disclose all they do and they lie.

The only safe sex is no sex otherwise protect yourself by ensuring the guy is wearing a condom. Be vigilant at all times etc.

If you worry though then I would abstain from any sexual contact completely, in swinging and in your real life. "

That's a great idea.

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By *ntimatediscretionMan
over a year ago

eaglescliffe

[Removed by poster at 07/09/14 23:18:44]

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By *ntimatediscretionMan
over a year ago

eaglescliffe

"I opened a post a while back about this . Someone who has HIV posted on it . He is bi and plays unprotected . He says the HIV is undetectable .

there was guy a couple of years ago sent to prison for being HIV and having unprotected sex...

anyone who plays without protection with strangers must either love the thrill so much they are blind to the potential consequences.... or really have nothing to live for... HIV is a killer... herpes cant be got rid of... its for keeps... genital warts... all very common... Some men with gonorrhoea may have no symptoms at all... even oral sex transmits... so if you think of one infected person, multiply by their sexual partners, then their partners.... pretty soon everyone has knob rot and minge decay... but hey... a little chlamydia now just seems like a common cold.....

no glove no love all the way unless a long term relationship and people are straight with each other about their history... and I f a bloke says its ok, I don't usually do it without.... how many times does he use that line?

couple of years ago...how time fly's

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1461888/10-years-jail-for-gay-HIV-asylum-seeker-who-infected-women.html

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I opened a post a while back about this . Someone who has HIV posted on it . He is bi and plays unprotected . He says the HIV is undetectable .

there was guy a couple of years ago sent to prison for being HIV and having unprotected sex...

Someone can be sent to jail for not disclosing that they have HIV and partake in risky business knowing that they could infect the other person, what 'that guy' (no I will not name on here or via PM) does is disclose it completely so people can make an informed decision and give their consent, he is not breaking the law by playing bareback because it's the persons decision who sleeps with him whether they want to use protection or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think fabbers in general will be at higher risk so you should take every precaution "

I'm not sure this is true, I'd have thought people who plan to play and play safe as I'd like to think most people on here do (maybe I'm naive) are less of a risk than someone who has a pissed one night stand with someone from a bar or club every week.

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By *ussexLukeMan
over a year ago

Newhaven

I always play safe, an regular check ups just to make sure, it's my health I'm worried about, plus would feel so bad if I unknowingly had an sti and passed it on....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least on here you can see who people have been playing with and it's all more open. If you met a guy in the vanilla world you don't know his sexual history or if he's ever participated in a cumslut gangbang.

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By *ntimatediscretionMan
over a year ago

eaglescliffe

"I opened a post a while back about this . Someone who has HIV posted on it . He is bi and plays unprotected . He says the HIV is undetectable .

there was guy a couple of years ago sent to prison for being HIV and having unprotected sex...

I genuinely have a great deal of sympathy for your friend... associate who is HIV +, and think he is being entirely responsible for giving advance disclosure to any potential sexual partners of him being HIV+

I would like to think that anyone they themselves then have sexual contact with will also be informed that they had unprotected sex with someone who is + etc etc....

but as has been said... play within your limits and wherever you feel comfortable... and if you want to do a 10 man bareback gangbang, well fair play to you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think fabbers in general will be at higher risk so you should take every precaution

It's not actually true, I have this very discussion with the nurse at the GUM when I was there on Friday. At their clinic the % do studs is highest in the 16 - 25 bracket and in the swingers they see (this is the clinic that runs the checks at Chams) is very very low....she did say we do ask for the most condoms though

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By *ntimatediscretionMan
over a year ago

eaglescliffe

"At least on here you can see who people have been playing with and it's all more open. If you met a guy in the vanilla world you don't know his sexual history or if he's ever participated in a cumslut gangbang.

that would depend on how many verifications they are prepared to show on their profile...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that would depend on how many verifications they are prepared to show on their profile...? "

Yes but in the vanilla world you don't even have that....you have their word for it.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Half the time you wouldn't know on here either. in my opinion it would be a lot less likely in 'the real world' to come accross Cum Slut gang bangs, I work in an office full of men and I don't know if it's just my office but most of the guys don't have a clue about anything that goes on in the 'non - vanilla' world! there actually quite shocked when I jokingly bring things up! Again that could just be my experience/view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or like me they choose not to share their knowledge. The people I work with think I'm a total prude bordering on nun.....so you never know

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I opened a post a while back about this . Someone who has HIV posted on it . He is bi and plays unprotected . He says the HIV is undetectable .

there was guy a couple of years ago sent to prison for being HIV and having unprotected sex...

I would like to think that anyone they themselves then have sexual contact with will also be informed that they had unprotected sex with someone who is + etc etc....

but as has been said... play within your limits and wherever you feel comfortable... and if you want to do a 10 man bareback gangbang, well fair play to you... "

A 10 man bareback gangbang is my idea of an absolute nightmare, my head would explode with paranoia! I'm with the play safe brigade myself!

Evidently according to some people on here I should give up on sex altogether and accept that I may aswell be a nun! Makes a lot of sense!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to find a local cum slut that takes it up all 3 holes lol, just a matter of finding one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Evidently according to some people on here I should give up on sex altogether and accept that I may aswell be a nun! Makes a lot of sense! "

Well I don't see what the alternative is if you don't accept that there will be some risk? You aren't going to change the behaviour of others.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"I would like to find a local cum slut that takes it up all 3 holes lol, just a matter of finding one

you know exactly what you want... shags

one day ... one day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would like to find a local cum slut that takes it up all 3 holes lol, just a matter of finding one

you know exactly what you want... shags

one day ... one day"
Yes and ty and always good to know what you want to, as they say, patient is a virtue x.

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Names can be misleading....I'm a good girl

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Evidently according to some people on here I should give up on sex altogether and accept that I may aswell be a nun! Makes a lot of sense!

Well I don't see what the alternative is if you don't accept that there will be some risk? You aren't going to change the behaviour of others."

If instead of trying to be patronising you had read my responses you would see that I have had plenty of meets in the many years I've been on here and have found men who I don't feel concern with, you also know nothing about my personal life and who I see outside of fab so it's not really valid to comment to make that I should never have sex again is it?

I wouldn't have gotten to this but when you post on a forum for somthing to be discussed as it's of genuine concern to you and you get sarky replies making what can only be described as ridiculous suggestions it makes you question why you bother trying to interact with the 'higher beings' on FAB. I obviously don't interact on an hourly basis on the forums so I'm not considered a 'forumite' or whatever it's called. I knew it would happen hence the bottom bit of the OP.

I've always been a fan of 'if you've got nothing nice to say don't say anything' obviously some don't believe in this.

That's where I will leave it because i can't really be bothered constantly trying to defend myself on here anymore. To all that have PM'd me and posted constructively on here then thank you! It's nice to know I'm not alone in my thoughts!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Evidently according to some people on here I should give up on sex altogether and accept that I may aswell be a nun! Makes a lot of sense!

Well I don't see what the alternative is if you don't accept that there will be some risk? You aren't going to change the behaviour of others.

I've always been a fan of 'if you've got nothing nice to say don't say anything' obviously some don't believe in this.

wtf? I haven't said anything horrible? I'm not asking you to defend. In your op you said maybe it was time to hang up your boots. ... If you feel that strongly Yes!! I don't feel I've been mean at all. Maybe I should have tried to convince you that all was well and you shouldn't be considering quitting the scene. I really don't care what you do. I just thought it a no brainer. If you think something too risky, don't do it.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Evidently according to some people on here I should give up on sex altogether and accept that I may aswell be a nun! Makes a lot of sense!

Well I don't see what the alternative is if you don't accept that there will be some risk? You aren't going to change the behaviour of others.

I've always been a fan of 'if you've got nothing nice to say don't say anything' obviously some don't believe in this.

I'm not asking you to convince me to do anything, I am an adult who can make my own decisions. But being sarky with a complete stranger by suggesting ridiculous things just because you don't 'know the answer' (there may not be one, I'm not asking anyone to make my decisions for me I can do that myself quite capably) would it not just be better to not comment than be seemingly rude to someone? no? There are far too many on here who jump on others and try to make them look stupid, nobody is better than anybody else on here and nobody's opinions are superior to anyone else's and nobody has the right to belittle another member of fab just because they don't like what they have said/asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ridiculous things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sarky? Rude? Belittling? I agree no one is better than anyone else. I'm not trying to be. I'm just trying to understand why you would want to continue with something you feel so damaging to your health? I disagree with smoking. I don't do it. Again I say. ... If you feel you are that much at risk from stds then don't fuck around. I'm not being mean. I'm not belittling. But why moan about others when you can protect yourself??

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

People can only protect themselves to a certain extent, condoms as much as people like to think are not 100% effective and don't protect against everything by any means.

The conduct of others has an impact on everyone else on fab. That's why it bothers me. The fact that I used to love meeting FBs and playing lots and now my fun has been hampered by these people playing with half the site (one of them claimed that out of 100 women only 2 insisted on condom use).

Fucking around is a bit different from 'never having sex ever again' I'm on fab for a reason and that reason is because I like sex more than the average woman so I'm hardly going to just stop having sex am I?

If you want to understand then ask questions? Rather than saying 'never have sex again' Surely that would be a better way to understand my reasoning? Others have asked me in the thread and I have told them the reasons why I am feeling this way about fab at the moment. It's good to talk, shame it can't happen on an open forum!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Safe sex = no sex.

stop throwing your toys out of the cott when someone disagrees with you.

If you want to stop meeting people, good for you. But really, so what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People can only protect themselves to a certain extent, condoms as much as people like to think are not 100% effective and don't protect against everything by any means.

but the problem isn't limited to fab and it isn't new. Just because people are telling you things now doesn't mean it hadn't always been going on. You are naive if you think that. I've always assumed that everyone I have sex with has had risky sex. So finding out they have isn't a shock. I don't understand why you would think differently. As for talking. .. It can Happen even if others disagree with you. .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I actually said find a regular trusted partner. .. Not stop having sex. ...

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Safe sex = no sex.

stop throwing your toys out of the cott when someone disagrees with you.

If you want to stop meeting people, good for you. But really, so what?

Oh really! Nobody replies so you troll instead? PLEASE! If you actually bothered to read EVEN just the original post the point was never me leaving fab it was asking others the question of how safe they feel. Have another read, if your not bothered then don't but I for one couldn't give a shiny one!

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

People can only protect themselves to a certain extent, condoms as much as people like to think are not 100% effective and don't protect against everything by any means.

Back on that high horse I see! It never bad anything to so with someone disagreeing with me it was about peoples sarky idiotic comments. as I said earlier I can't really be bothered arguing with a stranger, if that's what floats your boat then crack on! But try not to make assumptions about people you don't know, I'm far from naive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Safe sex = no sex.

stop throwing your toys out of the cott when someone disagrees with you.

If you want to stop meeting people, good for you. But really, so what?

Did I mention you leaving fab? I was referring to your status of "not meeting" before you hid your profile. Good luck. Do you want a hand with all these teddies? Pmsl!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

No such thing as safe sex. The only safe sex is no sex. If I was that paranoid I would hang up my boots same as you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I practice safe sex but had to go and be tested in June. I expect this statement will impact somehow on me.

Everything was all clear but I will go again this month even though I haven't had any play meets. I take a risk everyday in one of my jobs, I could get hit by a car or bigger vehicle but it's my responsibility to ensure my safety and that of others. I also avoid all bareback profiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always ask potential meets if they use the local GUM, if they ask what I'm talking about, block and move on. Simple.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Safe sex = no sex.

stop throwing your toys out of the cott when someone disagrees with you.

If you want to stop meeting people, good for you. But really, so what?

Did I mention you leaving fab? I was referring to your status of "not meeting" before you hid your profile. Good luck. Do you want a hand with all these teddies? Pmsl!

It has said for weeks on my profile that I'm no longer meeting, that is simply to let people know so they don't waste their time messaging me. And please don't flatter yourself my profile has been hidden since Saturday, nothing to do with you whatsoever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always ask potential meets if they use the local GUM, if they ask what I'm talking about, block and move on. Simple.

And op, I didn't mention that your profile hiding had had anything to do with me. The world doesn't revolve around you. Don't flatter yourself.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I always ask potential meets if they use the local GUM, if they ask what I'm talking about, block and move on. Simple.

And op, I didn't mention that your profile hiding had had anything to do with me. The world doesn't revolve around you. Don't flatter yourself."

Yes you did a few messages up!

You blocked me before your wrote on this post which indicates you don't want to be contacted by me so why carry on commenting?

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Infact it wasn't before you posted it was after you first posted and nobody acknowledged you that you blocked me before you started with your trolling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

Probably a very controversial subject as per usual

Please play nicely, just a discussion not a heated debate!"

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Hi,

Probably a very controversial subject as per usual

Please play nicely, just a discussion not a heated debate!

I see your

and raise you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

Probably a very controversial subject as per usual

Please play nicely, just a discussion not a heated debate!

I see your

and raise you

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You asked people to discuss nicely.....

If you don't want other peoples opinions then it might be best not to ask a question on a public forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I've read the entire thread and I don't see anyone trolling. I do see people expressing an opinion different to yours.

You said you were stepping away and not going to defend yourself, my honest opinion is that's a rely good idea. The replies on the thread are clearly winding you up. It's really not worth it.

Enjoy the site and use it how you wish , but sometimes it's good to get a little distence & perspective

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I opened a post a while back about this . Someone who has HIV posted on it . He is bi and plays unprotected . He says the HIV is undetectable .

This makes me extremely nervous .

Can't seem to find the post you mention using your green arrow. Has the post about this Bi man with HIV playing on fab been deleted or am I looking in the wrong place?

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"You asked people to discuss nicely.....

If you don't want other peoples opinions then it might be best not to ask a question on a public forum"

What is wrong with wanting people to discuss somthing without taking the mick? 'Your on a sex site but never have sex ever again with anyone' is hardly constructive advice. I asked questions to people, not about what I should do but about how they feel on the subject and you just get people taking the piss. It's ridiculous. I certainly won't be bothering to speak on the forums again as there are too many keyboard warriors about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Can you all stop discussing another member who may not want to be discussed.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I opened a post a while back about this . Someone who has HIV posted on it . He is bi and plays unprotected . He says the HIV is undetectable .

This makes me extremely nervous .

Can't seem to find the post you mention using your green arrow. Has the post about this Bi man with HIV playing on fab been deleted or am I looking in the wrong place?

Thanks"

I'm not sure where it has gone, I know him from chatting to him, the forum post you may find on one of the other ladies green arrows as I think one of them was envolved in that particular discussion with him. I'm sure it is still on here as I have read it myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funnily enough we are going through this mill. Mrs n says she is getting worried that the roulette wheel is stacking against us after 12 years of naughty fun.

Problem is I'm not sure if I am ready to hang up my swinging boots just yet. Difficult one isn't it and surely it is still possible to keep risks to a minimum.

Your friend is talking about viral load, he may have an undetectable viral load in his blood but that does not mean that he has an undetectable viral load in his semen.

The fact that he has HIV means that he CAN potentially pass this on.

Undetectable does not mean uncommunicable. "

I'm on Atripla which has excellent genital tract penetraction. To quote my doctor when I emailed her again about it, "when you are on a regimen with good penetration in the genital tract - which is true for atripla - makes the risk of transmission negligible. If I read a case report of transmission in these circumstances I would not believe it, regardless of sexual orientation."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do wish that the ladies that do these cumslut bareback gangbang parties, read up on viruses like HPV and other STI's, Quite a few of these viruses are linked in with certain Cancers like cervical, bowel. Now you see you could get hit by a bus tomorrow! but if you could prevent the chance of that happening! well I think 99% would try and prevent it no doubt. Bareback is lovely but carries far to much risk these days better of playing it safe I think!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"You asked people to discuss nicely.....

If you don't want other peoples opinions then it might be best not to ask a question on a public forum

You didn't ask for advice, you asked people to discuss it....which they did.

From where you took offence, it was just someones opinion of your question.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Thank you

Hello lovely

sorry about all this x

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By *mmie2014Man
over a year ago

London

"Can you all stop discussing another member who may not want to be discussed."

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"You asked people to discuss nicely.....

If you don't want other peoples opinions then it might be best not to ask a question on a public forum

You didn't ask for advice, you asked people to discuss it....which they did.

From where you took offence, it was just someones opinion of your question."

I didn't ask for advise no which I have stated several times through the post but people seem to love giving it anyways, I suppose some can't help being sarky when it gives them a sense of self importance.

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By *ngelsdevil OP Woman
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I do wish that the ladies that do these cumslut bareback gangbang parties, read up on viruses like HPV and other STI's, Quite a few of these viruses are linked in with certain Cancers like cervical, bowel. Now you see you could get hit by a bus tomorrow! but if you could prevent the chance of that happening! well I think 99% would try and prevent it no doubt. Bareback is lovely but carries far to much risk these days better of playing it safe I think!"

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By *mmie2014Man
over a year ago

London

Another well put comment. Others playing bareback is no-one's business but theirs. If anyone does or does not want to play with them, then that is the business only of those involved.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"You asked people to discuss nicely.....

If you don't want other peoples opinions then it might be best not to ask a question on a public forum

You didn't ask for advice, you asked people to discuss it....which they did.

From where you took offence, it was just someones opinion of your question.

Maybe on that not it is time to shut this

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