FabSwingers.com forum: Does Fab give some people a false sense of High Esteem?

By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

We all know that there are a huge % of guys who will fuck anything ! Does anybody else think that this just leads to a false sense of high esteem to the many ugly women on this site ? Of course there are many beautiful women too but it seems to me that the uglies create criteria for meets that they would never ever achieve in a world outside swinging.

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only speak for myself. Some find me attractive , some don't. I get more attention outside of fab than in it. I keep my criteria the same across both, if i wouldn't shag them outside fab then i won't shag them through fab. If that makes sense. Also, if i get a sense that someone wouldn't shag me off of fab, or would shag absolutely anyone then i won't go there. In my case, and I'm sure in the case of many other women on here, fab isn't something that artificially inflates our self worth. I use fab because i enjoy the social aspects and it makes it more convenient to line up meets than booking sitters to go to the pub and pull.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all know that there are a huge % of guys who will fuck anything ! Does anybody else think that this just leads to a false sense of high esteem to the many ugly women on this site ? Of course there are many beautiful women too but it seems to me that the uglies create criteria for meets that they would never ever achieve in a world outside swinging.

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

"
....

Very true some go so power mad they try to be prime minister

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

This probably doesn't relate so much to you "earnmehow'.. theres definitely some women on here that wouldn't get a shag from going on the pull down the pub

but thats just a personal point of _iew.

dont get me wrong if that what makes them happy then good for them

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By *iceduoCouple (FF)
over a year ago

manchester

I am demigod of pulling

xx jen

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

Very true some go so power mad they try to be prime minister

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"I am demigod of pulling

xx jen "

And i can see that Jen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab gives some women a higher level of self esteem as well as it turns some men into spiteful bitter old whingebags

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"Fab gives some women a higher level of self esteem as well as it turns some men into spiteful bitter old whingebags

LOL... think it can work both ways there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I think you could be right there.

though just because a womans ugly doesn't mean she cant like attractive men and not want to meet other ugly men.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Fab gives some women a higher level of self esteem as well as it turns some men into spiteful bitter old whingebags

"
And vice versa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont get me wrong if that what makes them happy then good for them"

So why post a discussion about it with rather bitter undercurrents if you have no problem with it??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab gives some women a higher level of self esteem as well as it turns some men into spiteful bitter old whingebags

LOL... think it can work both ways there "

True

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Fab gives some women a higher level of self esteem as well as it turns some men into spiteful bitter old whingebags

Without a doubt

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"Yes I think you could be right there.

though just because a womans ugly doesn't mean she cant like attractive men and not want to meet other ugly men."

Perhaps we should ask Fab to put an ugly filter in the search engine to save time.. i know i'd use it LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In 'the real world' I'm pretty much invisible to everyone, does that mean I'm a ugly woman?? Have I got too much self esteem??

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Surely that's the desperate men's fault for flattering these ugly bids just so they can get a shag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been lucky and mets some lovely looking men and some have wanted to see me again, where as less attractive men havnt wanted to see me again.

so, what would you make of that?

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

dont get me wrong if that what makes them happy then good for them

So why post a discussion about it with rather bitter undercurrents if you have no problem with it??

I'm just interested to see if my fucked up mind is completely fucked up or actually my thoughts are mirroring other peoples on here as well

no bitterness at all

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Yes I think you could be right there.

though just because a womans ugly doesn't mean she cant like attractive men and not want to meet other ugly men.

Perhaps we should ask Fab to put an ugly filter in the search engine to save time.. i know i'd use it LOL"

Ive just used it.

Who said that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

shame you have to voice you think so many women are ugly -

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By *exxifun5Couple
over a year ago

NORWICH

I must admit I sort of agree with this ... on here I am constantly flattered and there is definitely no shortage of male admirers who boost my ego

in my vanilla life I am still the same person . but wen I down the pub or out with my friends I am the last one anyone would flirt with !!! I am always the fat bird whos a great laugh but god I fancy your mate ...

as I am in a relationship im not actually wanting to pull or date ... but to be flirted with and admired would be nice

my conclusion to this is that on here I am seen as a fat bird that if I flatter her and admire her she will be so flattered she will let me shag her..

tabitha xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight answer to your question is

Yes it does

The rights and wrongs of that conclusion can be debated forever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"shame you have to voice you think so many women are ugly - "

And they all wonder why there are so few woman on here.......

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"Surely that's the desperate men's fault for flattering these ugly bids just so they can get a shag?

Yep... Totally agree

As long as everyone's happy thats all that matters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I think you could be right there.

though just because a womans ugly doesn't mean she cant like attractive men and not want to meet other ugly men.

Perhaps we should ask Fab to put an ugly filter in the search engine to save time.. i know i'd use it LOL"

Yes or, bit ugly, ugly or very ugly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All about supply and demand

50 cocks to one pussy the balance goes in favour of the woman so she can act as if she is gods gift to men

Utter crap really but look on the cams some right mingers get told they are stunning so they will delude themselves

Including me! Well for a second or two

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"shame you have to voice you think so many women are ugly - "

The same as many women who list endless criteria of what they DONT want - i cant see the difference.. and i'm not saying its not wrong to be honest about what you want or what you find attractive (or by default unattractive)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marvellous so any guy that messages me and tells me he finds me attractive is just lying because he's desperate?? Super, well well done you, you've definitely knocked some of the self esteem out of one happy fabber

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"I must admit I sort of agree with this ... on here I am constantly flattered and there is definitely no shortage of male admirers who boost my ego

as I am in a relationship im not actually wanting to pull or date ... but to be flirted with and admired would be nice

my conclusion to this is that on here I am seen as a fat bird that if I flatter her and admire her she will be so flattered she will let me shag her..

tabitha xx "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"shame you have to voice you think so many women are ugly -

just ignore them - im sure some gorgeous in your eyes ladies will pass you by with your lovely inner soul

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"Marvellous so any guy that messages me and tells me he finds me attractive is just lying because he's desperate?? Super, well well done you, you've definitely knocked some of the self esteem out of one happy fabber

No one was pointing an ugly banner in your direction - you self proclaimed it.. please dont take this thread personally.. its not pointed at you its a generalisation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people can't see the reality of it all and want to be deluded, their problem, let them get on with it

Enjoy Fab as you want to.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

" theres definitely some women on here that wouldn't get a shag from going on the pull down the pub "

you think so..?

there's someone out there for everyone..

probably just the same as there are some blokes with up their own arse attitudes who also may get a shag down the pub..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does being knocked back by ugly women you wouldn't look twice at in the pub make people bitter?

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"If people can't see the reality of it all and want to be deluded, their problem, let them get on with it

Enjoy Fab as you want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I think you could be right there.

though just because a womans ugly doesn't mean she cant like attractive men and not want to meet other ugly men.

Perhaps we should ask Fab to put an ugly filter in the search engine to save time.. i know i'd use it LOL"

Ugly is such a nasty word

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one was pointing an ugly banner in your direction - you self proclaimed it.. please dont take this thread personally.. its not pointed at you its a generalisation

But you described someone who's just like me as ugly?? This is why I hate these threads no matter how much you cry 'its just generalisation ' your going to make someone feel a bit shit, why make someone else feel rubbish just because certain other people dont want to meet you?

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

" theres definitely some women on here that wouldn't get a shag from going on the pull down the pub

you think so..?

there's someone out there for everyone..

probably just the same as there are some blokes with up their own arse attitudes who also may get a shag down the pub..

i agree to a certain extent but we've already had one woman say she finds the pub and pull routine unsuccessful and sometimes a knock to her self esteem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what I look like and who I am being on here hasn't changed that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen yeah. Don't burst my bubble. Us ugly ones need loving too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I think you could be right there.

though just because a womans ugly doesn't mean she cant like attractive men and not want to meet other ugly men.

Perhaps we should ask Fab to put an ugly filter in the search engine to save time.. i know i'd use it LOL

Ugly is such a nasty word"

It is, who's to say what is and isn't "unfortunate looking" its different for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does being knocked back by ugly women you wouldn't look twice at in the pub make people bitter?"

Yes, not much fun being knocked back by ugly men either.

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"But you described someone who's just like me as ugly?? This is why I hate these threads no matter how much you cry 'its just generalisation ' your going to make someone feel a bit shit, why make someone else feel rubbish just because certain other people dont want to meet you?"

It doesnt matter what you say some people will take it personally. I didnt say there was a type that is ugly and maybe i should extend the comment i first made to Ugly or shy .. apologies if i offended you but again its not personal to anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not up my own arse to think that, I may not be the most beautiful gal on fab but I get by, and nearly all my meets I see again, so I cant complain

I may be ugly to some, I may have my preferences but one thing im not desperate or the guys I meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people are that fragile, maybe they shouldn't be here.

Just my thoughts.

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

Sorry to hear you take it personally. I doubt you blend into the background I have looked at your profile many times and hoped I would run into you in town!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

I don't think fab is any different to the real world tbh. I used to run pubs for a living and I'd say most women there can pull anyone they want if that's what they set out to do. Women call the shots when it comes to romance.

I don't think it's fab that creates 'high esteem' it's that those individuals respect themselves to only meet those they are attracted to. And that's the way it should be. That's NORMAL self esteem. Anyone who'd sleep with someone they don't fancy I'd say actually has low self esteem/self worth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only you can allow your self esteem to be knocked,if you're on here enjoying yourself and having lots of attention why let one mans words upset you

Hes pissed off because even his perception of ugly is having more fun than he is,thats got to hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only you can allow your self esteem to be knocked,if you're on here enjoying yourself and having lots of attention why let one mans words upset you

Hes pissed off because even his perception of ugly is having more fun than he is,thats got to hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If people are that fragile, maybe they shouldn't be here.

Just my thoughts."

Your probably very right, I'm starting to think along the same lines..... Shame, I was really starting to believe that I wasn't as hideous as I've been told I am in the past!! On to the next!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is ugly?? Just because you don't find someone attractive it doesn't mean that someone else won't think they are gorgeous... Yes fab gives you an ego boost but it also can make you feel like shit... Us women still get knock backs, no shows and the 'sorry you're not my type' just like you men... It doesn't do wonders for your self esteem.. Nor does reading threads like these or the fat threads.. Just because we might get allot of attention... Its not always a positive one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For someone that acknowledged that he was likely to get a load of abuse in his opening post, tge OP seems to be doing a lot of back peddling

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

I read the OP comments and expected much more of a harsh response! The truth is that some women use the ratio to their advantage much in the same way others will use their charm or looks. Were the shoe on the other foot I question if I would do the same? I'm far removed from being an oil painting and would struggle to get any attention from women stood next to some of the fellas on here. If there were fewer of you good looking guys I could have my way with all of these women!

Please be careful using the term ugly. There are many beautiful looking women on here with the ugliest of attitudes and outlooks on life and the lifestyle. I would hate a site filled with just these types!

Live and let live. If the lady with no pictures on her profile insists on you making contact only when you attach one; or the lady who has never been to a gym expects David Beckham in his Y fronts will come knocking simply pass on by. Concentrating on those who excite and entice you as opposed to others will be much more enjoyable for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

actually i agree

loads of women who wouldn't get a second look in real life turn into Americas next top model in their head within a few weeks of being here, but its the shit men feed woman in order to get laid that makes them feel that way

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By *mmie2014Man
over a year ago

London

"shame you have to voice you think so many women are ugly - "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

have to disagree with you there.. I frequent allot of clubs and play with people i wouldn't necessarily play with in my vanilla life but i have not got a low self esteem nor self worth.. Im there to have fun and i don't have to fancy someone to have fun... A one on one situation is different but a club meet or party Im too pre occupied to care if i think he's cute or not!

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"Yes I think you could be right there.

though just because a womans ugly doesn't mean she cant like attractive men and not want to meet other ugly men.

Perhaps we should ask Fab to put an ugly filter in the search engine to save time.. i know i'd use it LOL"

Everyone comes pre-fitted with ugly filters here on fab... they're called your eyes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must admit I sort of agree with this ... on here I am constantly flattered and there is definitely no shortage of male admirers who boost my ego

as I am in a relationship im not actually wanting to pull or date ... but to be flirted with and admired would be nice

my conclusion to this is that on here I am seen as a fat bird that if I flatter her and admire her she will be so flattered she will let me shag her..

tabitha xx "

Only by some! but you are a woman who has every right to be treated with respect ?

I bet if they knew more about your fun side the guys in the bar or outside would be too scared lol ?

Personality over looks for me !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's great if it works for you and I can imagine in that setting once in the heat of the moment it matters less. I was more on about the people who deliberately seek out people they think are 'ugly'(wtf) because they see them as an easy lay and like the OP, get shot down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

O yes , think its called "pussy power" lol . Makes certain individuals feel very important

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I think the best thing about this site is that it caters for everyone.

I am a firm believer that everyone will appeal to someone.

if you don't like the look of someone then move onto the next person and maybe they will suit you better.

I don't think labelling people as ugly will help anyone and the negativity will only cause conflict much better to simply try again with someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/09/14 13:27:17]

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

The whole 'couldnt pull them down the pub' argument is not really applicable.

If the playing gield was level and said 'ugly' girl was allowed to talk to a guy and say

'I think you are hot. Did you see me wink at you ? Look, if you come home with me, you are defo getting 'the ride'. I love it up the arse and you can piss on me as well if you want.

Tell you what, if you have a good looking mate or 2 you can make me airtight if you want.'

Now, what do you think her chances of pulling now are ?

Yep...prob in the 90% zone. Blokes love things laid out for them.

The only issue is if he is seen by his mates with a munter. But there are ways round that too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the OP is bang on with what he's said.

I don't think anyone should take it personally, I think it's just how it goes on here. Many women on Fab get the attention and compliments that they would probably not receive out on the town, also goes obviously many guys on here would meet a woman that they wouldn't approach in a bar.

It's just how it is I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only you can allow your self esteem to be knocked,if you're on here enjoying yourself and having lots of attention why let one mans words upset you

Hes pissed off because even his perception of ugly is having more fun than he is,thats got to hurt

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By *omMLMan
over a year ago

The Centre of the Universe

"I must admit I sort of agree with this ... on here I am constantly flattered and there is definitely no shortage of male admirers who boost my ego

as I am in a relationship im not actually wanting to pull or date ... but to be flirted with and admired would be nice

my conclusion to this is that on here I am seen as a fat bird that if I flatter her and admire her she will be so flattered she will let me shag her..

tabitha xx "

I flirt with almost every woman I come into contact with. Not for a shag it's a bit of harmless fun that makes the day seem that little bit brighter hopefully for both of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

Sometimes it does. I don't see why you should get abuse. It's a fact, no denying it. But it's all good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If people are that fragile, maybe they shouldn't be here.

Just my thoughts."

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Does Fab give some people a false sense of High Esteem?

Yes I think it can for both women and men. However I don't think that's its always a bad thing.

I have more confidence that I used to and part of that has come from swinging and partly from age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The whole 'couldnt pull them down the pub' argument is not really applicable.

If the playing gield was level and said 'ugly' girl was allowed to talk to a guy and say

'I think you are hot. Did you see me wink at you ? Look, if you come home with me, you are defo getting 'the ride'. I love it up the arse and you can piss on me as well if you want.

Tell you what, if you have a good looking mate or 2 you can make me airtight if you want.'

Now, what do you think her chances of pulling now are ?

Yep...prob in the 90% zone. Blokes love things laid out for them.

The only issue is if he is seen by his mates with a munter. But there are ways round that too.

Good point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have become more confident since joining the scene . I have been playing for years but since started on here and socialising it's been great . Everyone who I have met we have remained friends and I do get admirers . It's not a false sense of self esteem or whatever you said , it has given me more opportunity to come out my shell a bit !

And I do like compliments lol

of course I do

And nooooooo I won't set higher standards because I think I can , I continue to set high standards because I know I can ! Who wouldn't hey xxx

And remember , beauty is not just skin deep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It gives some people the false sense they have a right to call some people "anything". How many people would be happy to be called that by someone who has a false sense of high esteem I wonder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must admit I sort of agree with this ... on here I am constantly flattered and there is definitely no shortage of male admirers who boost my ego

as I am in a relationship im not actually wanting to pull or date ... but to be flirted with and admired would be nice

my conclusion to this is that on here I am seen as a fat bird that if I flatter her and admire her she will be so flattered she will let me shag her..

tabitha xx "

Hold on a minute Tabitha when Cat and I saw you and Tom in a club we both thought what a fit looking couple! That would have been the case in a pub etc the difference is that in a club or on fab the next thought is I wonder of I might fuck that beauty (similar from Cat about both you and tom) x see you soon

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"For someone that acknowledged that he was likely to get a load of abuse in his opening post, tge OP seems to be doing a lot of back peddling"

Abuse because there are an awful lot of people in this life who just read negativity into a few words. 'Back peddling' although i would prefer it to be referred to as explaining or expanding on what i was saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined, I thought I was quite attractive and was told in my daily life. All the men were so complementary I thought wow I must be better than I thought.... Now I realize its all a load if shit they say that to anyone regardless of what they look like. Even had one guy tell me he had to do her from behind coz she knocked him sick!!!! So now I actually feel worse about myself lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I think the best thing about this site is that it caters for everyone.

I am a firm believer that everyone will appeal to someone.

if you don't like the look of someone then move onto the next person and maybe they will suit you better.

I don't think labelling people as ugly will help anyone and the negativity will only cause conflict much better to simply try again with someone else

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By *harma and GregCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I must admit I sort of agree with this ... on here I am constantly flattered and there is definitely no shortage of male admirers who boost my ego

as I am in a relationship im not actually wanting to pull or date ... but to be flirted with and admired would be nice

my conclusion to this is that on here I am seen as a fat bird that if I flatter her and admire her she will be so flattered she will let me shag her..

tabitha xx "

I so agree with what you said it's the same for me

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By *erotic_adventureMan
over a year ago

London, Scotland & The North,

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and sex appeal can take many forms and be subjective but agree that some....both male but usually fems may be more successful on Fabs for a number of reasons touched upon already to which they are very fussy and stipulate criteria in the vanilla world potentially could not sustain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a funny old world, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder...if it works for you then great, and if it doesn't then move on.

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"I have become more confident since joining the scene . I have been playing for years but since started on here and socialising it's been great . Everyone who I have met we have remained friends and I do get admirers . It's not a false sense of self esteem or whatever you said , it has given me more opportunity to come out my shell a bit !

And I do like compliments lol

of course I do

And nooooooo I won't set higher standards because I think I can , I continue to set high standards because I know I can ! Who wouldn't hey xxx

And remember , beauty is not just skin deep

Yes but you are beautiful on the outside too..

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By *uppy ConquerorMan
over a year ago

dundee

where are all the hot women that will shag ugly men? There has got to be more equilibrium here on fab!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I do like compliments lol

of course I do

And nooooooo I won't set higher standards because I think I can , I continue to set high standards because I know I can ! Who wouldn't hey xxx

And remember , beauty is not just skin deep

Yes but you are beautiful on the outside too..

Lol charmer ha ha ha

Exactly why we get high self esteem lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/09/14 14:21:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP if you're not suggesting that false high self esteem is a bad thing, then what exactly is the point you are trying to make? If it's not wrong,then so what if "ugly" (shudder) women are developing a false sense of self esteem? Don't we all crave something that makes us feel good? And if a few hollow compliments from a guy on a website affects an insecure woman in such a way that she becomes more confident and increases her self esteem, isn't that a good thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"where are all the hot women that will shag ugly men? There has got to be more equilibrium here on fab! "

Oh there are quite a few of them on here too.

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By *exxifun5Couple
over a year ago

NORWICH

"I must admit I sort of agree with this ... on here I am constantly flattered and there is definitely no shortage of male admirers who boost my ego

as I am in a relationship im not actually wanting to pull or date ... but to be flirted with and admired would be nice

my conclusion to this is that on here I am seen as a fat bird that if I flatter her and admire her she will be so flattered she will let me shag her..

tabitha xx

Only by some! but you are a woman who has every right to be treated with respect ?

I bet if they knew more about your fun side the guys in the bar or outside would be too scared lol ?

Personality over looks for me ! "

thank you ... I really dont have issues over this it was just an observation I have made being here

xxx tabitha xxxx

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"OP if you're not suggesting that false high self esteem is a bad thing, then what exactly is the point you are trying to make? If it's not wrong,then so what if "ugly" (shudder) women are developing a false sense of self esteem? Don't we all crave something that makes us feel good? And if a few hollow compliments from a guy on a website affects an insecure woman in such a way that she becomes more confident and increases her self esteem, isn't that a good thing?"

Sure, sites like this can be a very positive thing and many people have commented on this. Even someone i would consider very beautiful commented on how much this site helped her confidence. Its difficult for me to say as im not a woman however i was wondering if there is ever a sense that this 'feel good' feeling was at all false...

If you went to a club and played with a good looking guy and then later saw him playing with someone you would consider 'unattractive' then would it not cross your mind that rather than him actually finding you attractive that maybe he just hasnt got any standards and it wouldnt actually mattered who you are ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For someone that acknowledged that he was likely to get a load of abuse in his opening post, tge OP seems to be doing a lot of back peddling

Every woman who has posted on this thread you have flattered stressing you didn't mean them. I'd call that back peddling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is quite different from the question you originally asked. In answer to that question, it wouldn't be my place to judge whether I thought he had standards or not. I'm not looking to have a relationship with the guy so it is of no concern of mine who he had sex with or indeed whether I think he has standards or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For someone that acknowledged that he was likely to get a load of abuse in his opening post, tge OP seems to be doing a lot of back peddling

Every woman who has posted on this thread you have flattered stressing you didn't mean them. I'd call that back peddling. "

he didn't flatter me. .. Maybe I'm the one he's talking about. .. or is that my inflated sense of self esteem making me think that???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And yes I fuck anyone as any hole is a goal, need to reach each yearly fuck quota and looks doesn't come into it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In 'the real world' I'm pretty much invisible to everyone, does that mean I'm a ugly woman?? Have I got too much self esteem??"

This applies to me too!

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

"For someone that acknowledged that he was likely to get a load of abuse in his opening post, tge OP seems to be doing a lot of back peddling

Every woman who has posted on this thread you have flattered stressing you didn't mean them. I'd call that back peddling. "

Call it what you like... i just said dont take it personally. and NO i havent said to every woman i didnt mean them just those who seem to have been personally affected by my comments..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think what the main issue is, well to me anyway is the guys who feed the women bullshit as to what it is they want to hear (whatever it may be), use them and then just leave them distraught with something they end up doing/saying later.

Now, i don't know if this is on topic and i know many might say 'this is fab and not real life' and 'this is how you play the game'- giving someone a false impression of something and then knocking them down two folds. Of course someone would develop a high self esteem and think highly of themselves if guys are going to be singing praise left, right and centre and saying the same bullshit.

I think that is an issue and that is something that irritates the fuck out of me. Guys with their bullshit and the women falling for it, and not realising it was all a pack of lies from the beginning - which leaves them feeling used.

Nonetheless, i think everyone likes a bit of confidence in men, women or couples. So, whether the self esteem is false - i really don't know. If someone's doing better than another, than they should go for it and have the right to pick the finest cherry off the fab tree.

..is that a false sense of esteem? Not sure

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

False sense of esteem, surely that is either a projection or a judgement call

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By *ngelsdevilWoman
over a year ago

Merseyside

I think there are a handful of 'mingers' who think they're Claudia Schiffer just because loads of men message them/meet them, completely forgetting that 'any holes a goal' for around what 90% of men on here?

On the other hand I think there are a lot of women who understand that men will shag anything and maintain their right to be choosy and not 'settle' for a shag with anyone!

I am the latter, I'm no super model but I maintain my right to be picky and choose carefully who I sleep with!

And as always 'each to ones own' not everyone likes the same!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

I think it can give people delusions of grandeur it can also kill self confidence the people who believe the bullshit they are fed are amusing I would have thought though most intelligent people know the reality its the stupid ones who let it go to their heads.

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By *1968 OP Man
over a year ago

Wokingham

agree and but there are a hell of a lot of stupid people out there including the guy who will fuck anything and suddenly thinks he's a superstud!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im not too fussed if the fuglies end up with a swell-head from being onhere

i wouldnt bang someone i didnt find attractive anyway so doesnt really affect me directly

what i will say is we defo need more hotties though

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

And I do like compliments lol

of course I do

And nooooooo I won't set higher standards because I think I can , I continue to set high standards because I know I can ! Who wouldn't hey xxx

And remember , beauty is not just skin deep

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only you can allow your self esteem to be knocked,if you're on here enjoying yourself and having lots of attention why let one mans words upset you

Hes pissed off because even his perception of ugly is having more fun than he is,thats got to hurt

I just kinda wish people could just be nicer to each other, there's been such a plethora of people bashing threads recently, I do take things a bit personally and people may think I shouldn't be her but I am and that's my choice, I also believe in letting people have a small bit of pleasure in what I know is hollow compliments, I'm not stupid I know why they're said. It's just nice not to be invisible for a bit.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Yes but in the grand scheme of things in life..

what does it matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes but in the grand scheme of things in life..

what does it matter"

I suppose it doesn't, I guess wishing people were nicer and just let others be is a pretty pointless exercise

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Yes but in the grand scheme of things in life..

what does it matter

I suppose it doesn't, I guess wishing people were nicer and just let others be is a pretty pointless exercise "

sadly yes, but a nice intent

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By *ingerpopMan
over a year ago

grimsby

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I think you could be right there.

though just because a womans ugly doesn't mean she cant like attractive men and not want to meet other ugly men.

Perhaps we should ask Fab to put an ugly filter in the search engine to save time.. i know i'd use it LOL

Everyone comes pre-fitted with ugly filters here on fab... they're called your eyes

I think you have to be a site supporter for those

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since joining this site I've discovered that I'm relatively WE and, at least according to one person, I'm a potential hunk lol

I've also got over my fear of rejection, and am coming to terms with the fact that not every woman on the planet is gonna want to have sex with me... and that's OK

So yes there are aspects of being on Fab that have raised my self esteem. I used to think I was ok... now I think I'm blaady gooorrrrjus!!!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Not sure there's such thing as false self esteem...

False importance maybe, but esteem is just how you feel about yourself.

One person gets it from sexual conquest.

Another from academia.

A third from physical prowess.

In the end if all you have to be proud of is your desirability, then you have very little indeed.

If you were truly desirable people hoist you up, above their shoulders and you find your face on the big screen.

That's the test of desirability... Your face makes people money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure there's such thing as false self esteem...

False importance maybe, but esteem is just how you feel about yourself.

One person gets it from sexual conquest.

Another from academia.

A third from physical prowess.

In the end if all you have to be proud of is your desirability, then you have very little indeed.

If you were truly desirable people hoist you up, above their shoulders and you find your face on the big screen.

That's the test of desirability... Your face makes people money.

I get it from my beard and 'tache. Honest - weird that innit.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

And as a side to this.

I used to have a mate who was highly involved with the movie studios.

When they were casting, hoards of the most stunning women you have ever seen used to turn up.

All you had to do was infer you has the ability to get them a part and you could fuck the most beautiful women on the planet.

There's a similarity in there somewhere, not sure what it is though.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Wish I could grow a proper one at fucking 34!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but does it really matter?? Its only sex at the end of the day... You're not looking to settle down with that person... Providing they have treated you like a princess while you are with them... And they have given you what you desired at the time... Who cares what they really thought of you.. Respect is all we ask for... Not admiration!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

I concur.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

1. How do you know what criteria uglies set?

2. Do you class yourself as ugly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"where are all the hot women that will shag ugly men? There has got to be more equilibrium here on fab! "

Here I am

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

No, if anything, if I'm not careful, seeing that many regard me as nothing more than a suitable set of holes can harm my self esteem.

I'm under no illusions about why I get attention on here and it makes me far more wary of accepting compliments and believing what guys say.

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By *cotlength71Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Glad I finally found a thread on this subject. Ugly or beautiful, I'll leave that perception to your own personal _iew, having mainly used this site as a stop gap for boredom, Facebook is tedious at the best of times. Mr average like myself have no chance on here , but I do give it a try every once in a while only to be told quite rudely NO or ignored mostly by people who for reason think they could knock back George Clooney but in reality themselves look like prime candidates for the Jeremy Kyle show. Like I said I'm Mr average but not Mr desperate and have no confidence problems. But some of you please don't think that your so stunning that you can put us mr averages down and stop blowing smoke up your own arses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its the mr and mrs averages that get the most action i reckon

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Kinda like America...

The previous group of immigrants, bully's the shit out of the latest group through the door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think there is such a thing as false high self esteem...having dealt with the fall out of incredibly low self esteem in others for most of my professional career, whatever makes people feel good about themselves is fine by me...

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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

"Glad I finally found a thread on this subject. Ugly or beautiful, I'll leave that perception to your own personal _iew, having mainly used this site as a stop gap for boredom, Facebook is tedious at the best of times. Mr average like myself have no chance on here , but I do give it a try every once in a while only to be told quite rudely NO or ignored mostly by people who for reason think they could knock back George Clooney but in reality themselves look like prime candidates for the Jeremy Kyle show. Like I said I'm Mr average but not Mr desperate and have no confidence problems. But some of you please don't think that your so stunning that you can put us mr averages down and stop blowing smoke up your own arses."

I don't understand.....you message someone because they appeal to you but as soon as they so no all of a sudden their looks fade

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

And so they should, their the largest group... 60 odd %.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Yep... Agree...

I used to live in a place where every morning, on your way to the car, your neighbours, friends & random people in the street would pay you a compliment about something...

You'd feel $1M before you got your seatbelt on!!

Better people feel over confident than under.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep... Agree...

I used to live in a place where every morning, on your way to the car, your neighbours, friends & random people in the street would pay you a compliment about something...

You'd feel $1M before you got your seatbelt on!!

Better people feel over confident than under. "

Why did you ever leave?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone deserves respect. If someone is rude to you, you wouldn't want to meet them anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never put anyone down or think I'm better than most people... I get the comments... I actually can get really off with people that go ott... Ie best on here ever... Or something similar ... Do they really think that I believe that tosh. Or they guy that looks like he has stepped off a magazine cover is going to really want me...

So nope... Dont think it gives all of us a false sence of who we are.... But I do see the women that are addicted to the compliments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I was feeling quite good about myself until I read this thread...

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Visa ran out n some bankers fucked the world up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think on the whole guys can be the ones with inflated self esteem. Anyone see that online dating documentary where the ordinary middle aged men were trying their luck with a fake profile with pics of a 20 year old Michelle Pfeiffer?! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think on the whole guys can be the ones with inflated self esteem. Anyone see that online dating documentary where the ordinary middle aged men were trying their luck with a fake profile with pics of a 20 year old Michelle Pfeiffer?! lol"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men- and couples- will mail a blank profile with no pics as long as it's a 'female' profile. They also say how sexy the female is....

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

So you sent a message which was ignored or they said no, and then you immediately accuse them of having inflated opinions of themselves because of that...

I wonder if you can see how that makes you seem....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep... Agree...

I used to live in a place where every morning, on your way to the car, your neighbours, friends & random people in the street would pay you a compliment about something...

You'd feel $1M before you got your seatbelt on!!

Better people feel over confident than under. "

Where was that? What were they after?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Visa ran out n some bankers fucked the world up!"

Same here

But working to get back there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think that's inflated self esteem... it's just that most guys have absolutely no idea why women turn them down or accept them so they just approach as many as possible with the hope that flailing around in the dark they're bound to hit a home run sooner or later... no matter how inexplicable that is lol

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Accusing women of having high self esteem because they won't just shag anyone is non-productive. There are certainly women out there whose profile gives an impression of self importance but why message them? And if you get an abusive reply from someone, report it. Women aren't immune just because there aren't many of us.

Fab is wish fulfilment. If an average looking woman uses this site successfully to meet attractive men, then more power to her. That's what I'm here for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must admit I sort of agree with this ... on here I am constantly flattered and there is definitely no shortage of male admirers who boost my ego

as I am in a relationship im not actually wanting to pull or date ... but to be flirted with and admired would be nice

my conclusion to this is that on here I am seen as a fat bird that if I flatter her and admire her she will be so flattered she will let me shag her..

tabitha xx "

This is so me, so yes if fab gives me a sense of high self esteem then at least it's a buzz if only in the fab world xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men- and couples- will mail a blank profile with no pics as long as it's a 'female' profile. They also say how sexy the female is....

Yes they are imagining she looks like Michelle Pfeiffer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Accusing women of having high self esteem because they won't just shag anyone is non-productive. There are certainly women out there whose profile gives an impression of self importance but why message them? And if you get an abusive reply from someone, report it. Women aren't immune just because there aren't many of us.

Fab is wish fulfilment. If an average looking woman uses this site successfully to meet attractive men, then more power to her. That's what I'm here for

Who's to say who is average and who is attractive? Surely it's all in the eye of the beholder.

I know when I helped out on a movie audition that we were continually surprised by how plain some stunning people were when they got in front of the camera and how stunning some plain people looked. I also remember spending an evening in the company of a bunch of good looking talented people... and spotting this 'plain jane' young woman hiding in the shadows. From that moment on I was transfixed... she was just so wonderfully cute in her awkwardness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe try having a bit of a personality. Just a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men- and couples- will mail a blank profile with no pics as long as it's a 'female' profile. They also say how sexy the female is....

Yes they are imagining she looks like Michelle Pfeiffer."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actualy I don't think George Clooney is all that and hes getting on a bit.

I have turned down good looking men because I didn't think they were my type or that we would be compatable because its not just about looks its about personality types and if you will actualy like them.

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By *astpoetMan
over a year ago

where the world takes me

I would suggest that rather than giving people a high sense of self esteem a lot of women are far sexier and more sexual than their lives allow them to be.

The relative anonymity of this place let's it come out more and invariably they attract more men.

Of course this works in other ways - for example i'd hardly go into work broadcasting all my kinks - and is one of the more attractive aspects of the site.

On the flip side a lot of men (and some women) feel that signing up to this site somehow gives them the right to sleep with whoever and if they say no then they are arrogant or half (what is in their _iew) overly high self esteem.

Mind you it's that kind of patriarchy that goes through society in general and in many ways holds women back from just being themselves in the vanilla world.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

In answer to the original question - no. The clue is in it being 'self' esteem. Why would the number of people who want or don't want to fuck me and vice versa make a difference to that? All being on here does is help cut to the chase as to whether or not people are mutually interested in each other. Acceptance of an offer is quick as is rejection.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I would suggest that rather than giving people a high sense of self esteem a lot of women are far sexier and more sexual than their lives allow them to be.

The relative anonymity of this place let's it come out more and invariably they attract more men.

Of course this works in other ways - for example i'd hardly go into work broadcasting all my kinks - and is one of the more attractive aspects of the site.

Mind you it's that kind of patriarchy that goes through society in general and in many ways holds women back from just being themselves in the vanilla world.

Great post.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you meet someone you get on with and have fun, and they are nice looking too its a bonus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would suggest that rather than giving people a high sense of self esteem a lot of women are far sexier and more sexual than their lives allow them to be.

The relative anonymity of this place let's it come out more and invariably they attract more men.

Of course this works in other ways - for example i'd hardly go into work broadcasting all my kinks - and is one of the more attractive aspects of the site.

Mind you it's that kind of patriarchy that goes through society in general and in many ways holds women back from just being themselves in the vanilla world.

Great post.....

Somebody buy that man a drink

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By *astpoetMan
over a year ago

where the world takes me

"if you meet someone you get on with and have fun, and they are nice looking too its a bonus.

I think as you get older you realise that sex is far more of a mental act than just physical, and some of the "traditionally attractive" people i've slept with (including my ex who had been asked many times to model) just don't have the natural sexiness that others do.

Sexiness is really something you can't put in a neat little bucket. There are some people who in a picture you'd say were "ugly" or "plain", but in real life or one to one are the sexiest damn creatures in the world and leave people chasing them everywhere they go.

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By *cotlength71Man
over a year ago

Colchester

No was just a simple way of putting the nasty way some people have responded to me , even on asking a simple question ie was that club good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree actually lol. Their attitudes and foul mouths tend to be far, far uglier than their looks!! And god forbid if a pretty/gracious/decent woman comes across one of these in the forums or a chat room!

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By *eeds34Man
over a year ago

leeds

Totally agree with the original poster

For some reason it gives people a false sense of power perhaps they live there lives on fab ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't give me any sense of high self esteem as I've always been modest, grounded and probably harsh on myself when it comes to that kinda thing regardless of who says what to me. Some women definitely enjoy having the power on here, gets to their heads as well though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

No abuse from me, I'll just treat this post with the contempt it deserves!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

Sure it does but some have a very low self esteem and need a little boost. The others who go hyper on it are just funny to watch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

And why shouldnt the Ladies who arnt blessed with a supermodel figure or Front Cover face have self esteem, i like to think that most of us on this site share a common Interest..Sex and the enjoyment of it, The only difference is that the Women get to choose the pick of the litter and so they should, They have what every single straight Male on this site wants.

I'm one of the lucky ones as i have a gorgeous and VERY sexual woman so as a pain bloke i can be a bit choosy and i can honestly say i will pick someone with an attractive mind and sexy sense of humour over an hour glass figure any day of the week.

Gimp

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I've thought about this...

Perhaps a lot of the men have an unreasonably sense of self importance.

Why else would so many think they can put no effort into their profile, or the way they present themselves here, and yet expect to get positive responses from women?

Perhaps when a woman ignores someone it's because there's nothing on in his profile or in his message worth responding to, not because she thinks she's better than him.

Why would a man think he's worth a response when he's made no effort unless he's got an unrealistically inflated opinion of himself?

Yet, it's always the fault of the women for being up themselves, never the men themselves.

It works both ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/09/14 22:43:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've thought about this...

Perhaps a lot of the men have an unreasonably sense of self importance.

Why else would so many think they can put no effort into their profile, or the way they present themselves here, and yet expect to get positive responses from women?

Perhaps when a woman ignores someone it's because there's nothing on in his profile or in his message worth responding to, not because she thinks she's better than him.

Why would a man think he's worth a response when he's made no effort unless he's got an unrealistically inflated opinion of himself?

Yet, it's always the fault of the women for being up themselves, never the men themselves.

It works both ways."

But you are bound to say things like that if you are desperate to avoid the fact the ego boost is artificial. I know its there but personally I don't bathe in it you want to try it sometime.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Los Angeles... It's the way they are out there. You can't move without getting a compliment.

Coming from the UK it's very unusual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very fortunate (Fi) in that I can attract men both on and off Fab and also have a fantastic partner. If anything 'Fab' fails to boost my self esteem. Of late, it's actually starting to make me lose faith in men. The messages we get from single guys at times are disrespectful "coooor I wouldn't mind a go on that" I find it quite sad that the hunt for pussy appears to come before manners and social etiquette. This does not apply to all guys, many are courteous and pleasant. I don't have an over inflated ego and appreciate this is a 'swingers' site but I think some of here don't really appreciate what swinging is and just see it as a free sex site!

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

[Removed by poster at 02/09/14 07:48:40]

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By * Busty HotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

"I'm very fortunate (Fi) in that I can attract men both on and off Fab and also have a fantastic partner. If anything 'Fab' fails to boost my self esteem. Of late, it's actually starting to make me lose faith in men. The messages we get from single guys at times are disrespectful "coooor I wouldn't mind a go on that" I find it quite sad that the hunt for pussy appears to come before manners and social etiquette. This does not apply to all guys, many are courteous and pleasant. I don't have an over inflated ego and appreciate this is a 'swingers' site but I think some of here don't really appreciate what swinging is and just see it as a free sex site!"

A succinct summary of our own observations.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I've thought about this...

Perhaps a lot of the men have an unreasonably sense of self importance.

Why else would so many think they can put no effort into their profile, or the way they present themselves here, and yet expect to get positive responses from women?

Perhaps when a woman ignores someone it's because there's nothing on in his profile or in his message worth responding to, not because she thinks she's better than him.

Why would a man think he's worth a response when he's made no effort unless he's got an unrealistically inflated opinion of himself?

Yet, it's always the fault of the women for being up themselves, never the men themselves.

It works both ways.

But you are bound to say things like that if you are desperate to avoid the fact the ego boost is artificial. I know its there but personally I don't bathe in it you want to try it sometime."

That seems harsh and unwarranted. The previous comment is perfectly measured and reasonable and makes a very fair point with no evidence of "bathing in" any kind of ego boost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont always judge by looks i mean a lady could be drop dead gorgeous but thick as two oak planks and i would still refuse sex cause i mean air heads are good in bed but brainy women are sexy lol although this probably means nothing coming from an ugly man like myself haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its more of a case that fab gives a lot of men a sense of "low self esteem "

A previous poster said that people sign up for fab and think it gives them the licence to fuck anyone!

So true!

If anything this site has made me feel less confident - and made me look at men in a whole new way!

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I think its more of a case that fab gives a lot of men a sense of "low self esteem "

A previous poster said that people sign up for fab and think it gives them the licence to fuck anyone!

So true!

If anything this site has made me feel less confident - and made me look at men in a whole new way!

That's interesting and seems to veer away from the assumption that women get their egos boosted on here. I can see how you might look at men in a whole new way, and possibly make it hard to converse online with the sort of men you describe, but how has it made you less confident?

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

If it makes some men or women feel better about themselves, gives them confidence then i'd say that quite an achievement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who doesn't like compliments!

But it depends how sincere that compliment is and why someone is doing it!

When I first joined I was surprised that so many women had long rants on their profiles!

Now after a couple of months on here I completely get it! lol!

Too many men - not enough women and full of idiots that get offended when their tempting offers are ignored or refused

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting high esteem is a wrong thing and actually think ‘good on you’ if you seek to get the best and especially if you achieve it.

Yes I know ugly to one person maybe beautiful to another.

Now I’m expecting a ton of abuse

Yes yes yes it does us single lads we stroke their ego by bombarding a ugly sometimes overweight woman with msgs this makes them feel like a model whereas in reality if not for shag sites an unused condom will get more cock than those women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good point, too many don't get it that if you show manners, etc it actually leads to more sex.

I can see how a man or woman can increase their ego on here if they are in demand, and lose something if they are not, or find it hard to get meets. That said, having too big an ego does no one any good!

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a funny cycle on here, if there is average looking woman on here, she is in a better position I suppose you could argue.

If you reverse that to an average looking man, he will find it more difficult. That's clear.

But how people use it is the difference. Some women get carried away with the power without realising that fab is their only real sexual outlet and don't think about why, and you know what - good luck to them!

Men on here who want to stand out shouldn't post about the same things and expect different results - that's not directed at this thread though.

Just a reality check - if there was gold and diamonds in every part of every country, wouldn't be half as attractive as it is, but that doesn't mean it's a bad jewel or metal.

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