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So who's into BDSM?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

there are a few about. but many are just playing at it and dont take it seriously which is fine. or some profess to know and have experienced it when they obviously havent!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lttattoocoupleCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Currently learning kinbaku. Really enjoy it.

Bdsm isn't normally something we introduce into playing unless we trust the person enough

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

There are quite a few people on here that are in to it. Lots of them are extremely inclusive and friendly, happy to share their knowledge and welcome new members the odd one or two aren't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to a bdsm party at the weekend, it was very interesting and got taught a few dom things. I'd only ever be sub in a 121situation with someone I really trusted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading."

That's whys it's so good.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lttattoocoupleCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

"

- thats often the point

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading."

BDSM is in my EXPERIENCE quite the opposite, in fact. It depends entirely on what your interests and limits are.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're probably mote active on the Fet scene than the swinging scene.

But as shown by the posts above ofren it's better discussed elsewhere as threads on here often turn into a 'BDSM is bad, oh no it isn't, oh yes it is' with the initial topic becoming lost.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading."

In my opinion you are just trying to get attention by flaming bdsm and Masters in every thread you can,and even starting threads decrying it..

Infact your last thread BDSM got shut down because the mod thought you was just going over the same thing as you did in your thread MASTERS..

And you have been told loads of times by loads of subs and D/s couple that's its not abuse..That subs really enjoy submitting and some even enjoy being spanked..shock horror.

So just stop trying to get attention because as my sub told you before its getting sad..

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By *ncutgemMan
over a year ago

Bath ish

apart from f e t what is a good place to discuss the sceene ?

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"apart from f e t what is a good place to discuss the sceene ?

"

That site is the only one worth anything these days..both for discussing and meeting subs/Doms..

Meet my last 3 subs on there and countless play partners..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading."

which is why some folks choose to partake..

your opinion is like your arsehole in that you have one..

as do others..

on this one you are wrong..

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

We are active on the local FET /bdsm scene in the northwest and have been for six years a couple have met and become great friends with some interesting and sexy people over the years Also met a few wannabes and fruit loops . We love it always something interesting going on can't wait for The Kage on Sunday

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

"

OMG, we are perverted !!!! I didn't know that

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

OMG, we are perverted !!!! I didn't know that "

OK, this thread has been calling too long

Might be a tad interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading."

i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, I'm in shock, have just discovered I'm a pervert

Going to lie down with a couple of floggers some clamps and a hood

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. "

think your over egging the pudding ..

whilst some will and do enjoy the 'more extreme' end, like many aspects there is a vast amount of difference between what you say and what most folks get up to..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. "

Well good for you, but there's a lot of us that do

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

Enjoy a bit of kinky fun spanking flogging ect

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. "

don't knock what you haven't tried ? Now let's see blindfolds in six years we have used blindfolds ooooh what ten fifteen times ,choked only of you like it and never close to death , flogging if done right can be a very sensual experience build up slowly the person being flogged is always in charge it's not flail into the person like a lunatic but like I say it's not for all and that's your choice . Have fun and stay safe

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. "

Fair enough.

But you realise there are plenty of people would never join a swinging site because they'd think that was perverted and disgusting?

If you don't enjoy something, don't judge others for it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Anyway - I think BDSM is fantastic. I'd describe myself as a switch as like best of both worlds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both enjoy it particularly as one of us is sub and the other dom.

It's something we both enjoy but it doesn't happen every time we play or have sex.

We tried it, liked it and now really enjoy it

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

nope......

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable.

Fair enough.

But you realise there are plenty of people would never join a swinging site because they'd think that was perverted and disgusting?

If you don't enjoy something, don't judge others for it."

This

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. "

Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated'

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you.

Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated' "

If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable.

Fair enough.

im not judging anyone, i am stating MY OPINION that i would never let a man dominate me in any scenario. sexually or otherwise,

But you realise there are plenty of people would never join a swinging site because they'd think that was perverted and disgusting?

If you don't enjoy something, don't judge others for it."

im not judging anyone personally, im stating that in MY OPINION FOR ME its degrading for a woman to let a man dominate her in any scenario sexual or otherwise. Incidentally nothing to do with education.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/08/14 13:34:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wonder how many think its degrading for submissive men to let women take control ????

Some people like to judge, without any real knowledge of the subject at all.

Its all about consent and being happy in what you enjoy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you.

Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated'

If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter.."

I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wonder how many think its degrading for submissive men to let women take control ????

Some people like to judge, without any real knowledge of the subject at all.

Its all about consent and being happy in what you enjoy.

"

Probably the same people that don't understand

As long, as you said, there's consent and everyone is happy. Leave us to it !!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sounds bad but i will be honest.

some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm

or

"grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm"

This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes

and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet

i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20.

if i am looking for sex i will use here

if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sticks head in & skips off again

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you ever get the feeling that these comments are designed to provoke this sort of reaction and that they are now simply sitting back and laughing at the chaos caused?

Even the holier than thou brigade have turned up to wade in.

People opinions matter it's why we are different. I hate the idea of watersports but I would not want to rain on anyone's parade when they want to talk about it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

[Removed by poster at 28/08/14 13:47:42]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love it.

Tight bondage.

Roping.

Spanking.

Whipping.

A little caning.

Flogging.

Toys.

Pin wheels.

Want to try violet wand.

Humiliation. Well a little.

Mild ball whipping.

Sensory dep.

yep. Love it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you.

Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated'

If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter..

I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse?

"

Not on this thread..yet..but its been said before..and it was just called degrading for a woman to submit to a man so its getting there.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love it.

Tight bondage.

Roping.

Spanking.

Whipping.

A little caning.

Flogging.

Toys.

Pin wheels.

Want to try violet wand.

Humiliation. Well a little.

Mild ball whipping.

Sensory dep.

yep. Love it "

Love the violet wand~ best thing ever

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

You can think about hunting Bison.

You can dream about hunting Bison.

But, until you have hunted Bison.....

............... What do you really know.

Now where is Mini haha?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we all can make opinions it help the world goes round

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

[Removed by poster at 28/08/14 13:55:26]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you.

Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated'

If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter..

I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse?

Not on this thread..yet..but its been said before..and it was just called degrading for a woman to submit to a man so its getting there."

Please remember that the majority of people get their knowledge of BDSM from the Sunday shit sheets.

The same source that those who think "swingers" are all weirdos,get their information from.

Unless they actually go to witness a session in progress and speak to those involved,their opinions will not change.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"This sounds bad but i will be honest.

some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm

or

"grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm"

This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes

and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet

i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20.

if i am looking for sex i will use here

if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two"

I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love it.

Tight bondage.

Roping.

Spanking.

Whipping.

A little caning.

Flogging.

Toys.

Pin wheels.

Want to try violet wand.

Humiliation. Well a little.

Mild ball whipping.

Sensory dep.

yep. Love it

Love the violet wand~ best thing ever"

Oh I wish you'd show me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lttattoocoupleCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable.

Well good for you, but there's a lot of us that do "

I can't see how that isn't pleasurable

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eMontresMan
over a year ago

Halesowen


"Do you ever get the feeling that these comments are designed to provoke this sort of reaction and that they are now simply sitting back and laughing at the chaos caused?

Even the holier than thou brigade have turned up to wade in.

People opinions matter it's why we are different. I hate the idea of watersports but I would not want to rain on anyone's parade when they want to talk about it.

"

Would a light shower be ok though ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This sounds bad but i will be honest.

some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm

or

"grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm"

This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes

and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet

i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20.

if i am looking for sex i will use here

if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two

I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol "

who mentioned vanilla sex?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd call myself a recreational spanker rather than a Dom, but having a willing girl tired up and helpless is certainly fun

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This sounds bad but i will be honest.

some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm

or

"grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm"

This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes

and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet

i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20.

if i am looking for sex i will use here

if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two

I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol "

Ditto, but from a subs side

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you.

Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated'

If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter..

I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse?

Not on this thread..yet..but its been said before..and it was just called degrading for a woman to submit to a man so its getting there.

Please remember that the majority of people get their knowledge of BDSM from the Sunday shit sheets.

The same source that those who think "swingers" are all weirdos,get their information from.

Unless they actually go to witness a session in progress and speak to those involved,their opinions will not change.

"

Which is why I tell people at swinger events what I am and answer any questions they have,and I never go alone so they call talk to my sub to..and if a spank her I do it so people can see..and see her enjoying it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bdsm/Fet means different things to different people and there are many different levels. We don't believe it is wrong or degrading to anyone as long as consent is given on all sides.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"This sounds bad but i will be honest.

some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm

or

"grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm"

This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes

and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet

i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20.

if i am looking for sex i will use here

if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two

I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol

who mentioned vanilla sex?"

Anything not with a D/s dynamic is vanilla to me I am afraid..even what most people would class as kinky..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you.

Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated'

If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter..

I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse?

Not on this thread..yet..but its been said before..and it was just called degrading for a woman to submit to a man so its getting there."

And from memory crystal argued the point that it wasn't abuse.

But I think that phrases such as 'uneducated people like you' are arrogant and elitest. if you think a comment is uneducated challenge it, don't sneer at it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This sounds bad but i will be honest.

some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm

or

"grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm"

This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes

and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet

i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20.

if i am looking for sex i will use here

if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two

I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol

who mentioned vanilla sex?

Anything not with a D/s dynamic is vanilla to me I am afraid..even what most people would class as kinky.. "

i cant do vanilla sex its why i struggle to date lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exxifun5Couple
over a year ago

NORWICH

we are just dipping our toes at the minute ... but are loving pushing boundaries and seeimg how far they can be pushed. everything seems to have a label .. im not sure if what we are doing is bdsm and many people would be quick to tell us we have no idea .. but what the hell we are loving experimenting and having fun.

tabitha x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do .

"

But then again some people are into SM Necro-zoophillia

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do .

But then again some people are into SM Necro-zoophillia "

Sorry - flogging a dead horse (joke)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Not sure about that... You can be insanely sadistic without any need for a D/s relationship...

And by contrast you can be mind numbingly masochistic also...

You could even find both qualities in one person.

And no one would ever say it's vanilla.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't really dipped my toes in to this. Don't think i've got a good pain threshold. But, never say never.

Just need to explore with the right crowd.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

which is why some folks choose to partake..

your opinion is like your arsehole in that you have one..

as do others..

on this one you are wrong.. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do .

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I haven't really dipped my toes in to this. Don't think i've got a good pain threshold. But, never say never.

Just need to explore with the right crowd.

"

It's not all about pain Pops, although I love it

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you.

Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated'

If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter..

I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse?

Not on this thread..yet..but its been said before..and it was just called degrading for a woman to submit to a man so its getting there.

And from memory crystal argued the point that it wasn't abuse.

But I think that phrases such as 'uneducated people like you' are arrogant and elitest. if you think a comment is uneducated challenge it, don't sneer at it. "

I agree but not if it the same person on three different threads..And if someone does believe its abuse then they clearly have not research it,but are commenting on it from a'uneducated' position..

I could comment on a thread about Iceland..but it would be a 'uneducated' comment as I have never been or researched it..And therefor should not have the same weight as a post from someone who has lived there for the last 20 years..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk


"I love it.

Tight bondage.

Roping.

Spanking.

Whipping.

A little caning.

Flogging.

Toys.

Pin wheels.

Want to try violet wand.

Humiliation. Well a little.

Mild ball whipping.

Sensory dep.

yep. Love it

Love the violet wand~ best thing ever

Oh I wish you'd show me "

Is the violet wand the same as a fluvita...?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Yep... Never any real education about the subject...

I'm a massive learner and love to find nuggets of gold, but very few on this subject.

I myself struggle with my nature... I'm not a "dom" or a fucking "bull", but I'm naturally assertive, animalistic and intense sexually & non-sexually.

I can be cruel, suspend my empathy, yet also be tender, sensual and relaxed...

I have a great imagination for BDSM and due to the nature of my job, am excellent at creating devices/situations to confuse/stimulate the senses...

I am also not a fan of subs, I far prefer a room full of alphas, to the point where the brewing conflict is almost tangible.

I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night.

Find a box for that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"This sounds bad but i will be honest.

some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm

or

"grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm"

This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes

and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet

i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20.

if i am looking for sex i will use here

if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two

I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol

who mentioned vanilla sex?

Anything not with a D/s dynamic is vanilla to me I am afraid..even what most people would class as kinky..

i cant do vanilla sex its why i struggle to date lol"

Whats a date?

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

You go to the gym?

Those times when your arms ache... You feel like they will drop off, you can't even lift the lightest of weights...

Yet you pump out 4 more reps, you go dizzy, close your eyes, grit your teeth and grunt your way through it...

Then you can do pain!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"

I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night.

Find a box for that."

There are a few pubs outside Coventry like that on an evening - not sure about the box bit though

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Nah... They are just mangey dogs...

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"Yep... Never any real education about the subject...

I'm a massive learner and love to find nuggets of gold, but very few on this subject.

I myself struggle with my nature... I'm not a "dom" or a fucking "bull", but I'm naturally assertive, animalistic and intense sexually & non-sexually.

I can be cruel, suspend my empathy, yet also be tender, sensual and relaxed...

I have a great imagination for BDSM and due to the nature of my job, am excellent at creating devices/situations to confuse/stimulate the senses...

I am also not a fan of subs, I far prefer a room full of alphas, to the point where the brewing conflict is almost tangible.

I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night.

Find a box for that."

Ok you are a swinger

But do not make the mistake as most do a submissive submits all the time..

The ones who can fully submit who will give you they mind,body and soul are alpha females who will submit to no one but you..

You would not spot them in a crowded room and she's probably your boss at work..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish. "

Not me personally, find bondage boring, Dominating tedious and am very very bad at being sub. But have some good friends who are into it, and it kind of is a bit too specialised to be part of a swingers site, they are also swingers but don't bring the BDSM into this scene.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Nah... They are just mangey dogs... "

Wolves?

I thought Wolverhampton was great place.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yep... Never any real education about the subject...

I'm a massive learner and love to find nuggets of gold, but very few on this subject.

I myself struggle with my nature... I'm not a "dom" or a fucking "bull", but I'm naturally assertive, animalistic and intense sexually & non-sexually.

I can be cruel, suspend my empathy, yet also be tender, sensual and relaxed...

I have a great imagination for BDSM and due to the nature of my job, am excellent at creating devices/situations to confuse/stimulate the senses...

I am also not a fan of subs, I far prefer a room full of alphas, to the point where the brewing conflict is almost tangible.

I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night.

Find a box for that.

Ok you are a swinger

But do not make the mistake as most do a submissive submits all the time..

The ones who can fully submit who will give you they mind,body and soul are alpha females who will submit to no one but you..

You would not spot them in a crowded room and she's probably your boss at work.. "

You wouldn't spot me (unless I'm "hanging around")

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do .

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wonder how many think its degrading for submissive men to let women take control ????

Some people like to judge, without any real knowledge of the subject at all.

Its all about consent and being happy in what you enjoy.

"

BDSM will always be a controversial issue but at the end of the day some like it some don't.

We occasionally experiment in D/s play and so far no complaints from letting the Mrs take control

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love it.

Tight bondage.

Roping.

Spanking.

Whipping.

A little caning.

Flogging.

Toys.

Pin wheels.

Want to try violet wand.

Humiliation. Well a little.

Mild ball whipping.

Sensory dep.

yep. Love it

Love the violet wand~ best thing ever

Oh I wish you'd show me

Is the violet wand the same as a fluvita...? "

Yes as far as I know

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yep... Never any real education about the subject...

I'm a massive learner and love to find nuggets of gold, but very few on this subject.

I myself struggle with my nature... I'm not a "dom" or a fucking "bull", but I'm naturally assertive, animalistic and intense sexually & non-sexually.

I can be cruel, suspend my empathy, yet also be tender, sensual and relaxed...

I have a great imagination for BDSM and due to the nature of my job, am excellent at creating devices/situations to confuse/stimulate the senses...

I am also not a fan of subs, I far prefer a room full of alphas, to the point where the brewing conflict is almost tangible.

I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night.

Find a box for that.

Ok you are a swinger

But do not make the mistake as most do a submissive submits all the time..

The ones who can fully submit who will give you they mind,body and soul are alpha females who will submit to no one but you..

You would not spot them in a crowded room and she's probably your boss at work.. "

I'm only submissive once someone has damn well earned the privilege of receiving my submission. It ain't something i give to just anyone and those who know me in the outside world, for the most part, would actually assume I'm a Domme if they heard i was into BDSM because of my inherent personality in my day to day life.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Never made that mistake...

I only ever date alpha females and the one thing they all have in common is they want someone they can lose to...

But no I don't think most subs are like this, as I don't think most doms are naturally dom.

Rarly do I meet another person love and direct and feel any presence from them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To quote my profile text:

"Contrary to popular belief, it is the sub who is in control. The sub sets the limits that the Dom can go to. The D/s relationship is one of trust. Mutual respect is paramount. It is only when the guidelines and limits are known, boundaries are set and safe words are established that the fun can begin."

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish.

Not me personally, find bondage boring, Dominating tedious and am very very bad at being sub. But have some good friends who are into it, and it kind of is a bit too specialised to be part of a swingers site, they are also swingers but don't bring the BDSM into this scene."

I also find bondage boring, Doms tedious and am very very bad at being sub

I have crossed over because I know a few sub in real life who started out exploring there sub side on swinger sites and said there few Dom's with any real experience but lots of sub girls looking to try the lifestyle..

Also a few couples have crossed over because its easier to get your sub gangbanged here

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Yeah... The strongest women I have ever met have never been thought of as dommes, they are usually the kindest...

But people follow them because they want to, not because they demand respect.

It's the difference between playing the part and it being an intrinsic part of your nature.

Have you shaped your world or has it shaped you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish.

Not me personally, find bondage boring, Dominating tedious and am very very bad at being sub. But have some good friends who are into it, and it kind of is a bit too specialised to be part of a swingers site, they are also swingers but don't bring the BDSM into this scene.

I also find bondage boring, Doms tedious and am very very bad at being sub

I have crossed over because I know a few sub in real life who started out exploring there sub side on swinger sites and said there few Dom's with any real experience but lots of sub girls looking to try the lifestyle..

Also a few couples have crossed over because its easier to get your sub gangbanged here "

I crossed over because I'm a dirty little slut who wants you enjoy herself a bit until the right Dom comes along.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Ah this game...

Put two alphas in a room and the rule book goes out the window...

Control is taken... And both accept that's the way it is, nobody submits they are subjugated.

It's a totally different game...

Yes there are limits and safety is paramount, but never does the subjugated have the "true" control.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love soft bdsm. I have some gear not too much as it does scare many people. There is really nothing to be afraid of if you know and can trust your playmates. I can imagine it all going horribly wrong in the wrong company.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah... The strongest women I have ever met have never been thought of as dommes, they are usually the kindest...

But people follow them because they want to, not because they demand respect.

It's the difference between playing the part and it being an intrinsic part of your nature.

Have you shaped your world or has it shaped you?"

How could the answer to that question be anything other than both? The world very much shapes a person, what your reaction to that is then shapes the world around you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"Never made that mistake...

I only ever date alpha females and the one thing they all have in common is they want someone they can lose to...

But no I don't think most subs are like this, as I don't think most doms are naturally dom.

Rarly do I meet another person love and direct and feel any presence from them.

"

We will have to disagree about that one then..for me a real Dom is naturally Dominant and would never submit to anyone..but hay that's just me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish.

Not me personally, find bondage boring, Dominating tedious and am very very bad at being sub. But have some good friends who are into it, and it kind of is a bit too specialised to be part of a swingers site, they are also swingers but don't bring the BDSM into this scene.

I also find bondage boring, Doms tedious and am very very bad at being sub

I have crossed over because I know a few sub in real life who started out exploring there sub side on swinger sites and said there few Dom's with any real experience but lots of sub girls looking to try the lifestyle..

Also a few couples have crossed over because its easier to get your sub gangbanged here

I crossed over because I'm a dirty little slut who wants you enjoy herself a bit until the right Dom comes along. "

What then.... enjoy your self more

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish.

Not me personally, find bondage boring, Dominating tedious and am very very bad at being sub. But have some good friends who are into it, and it kind of is a bit too specialised to be part of a swingers site, they are also swingers but don't bring the BDSM into this scene.

I also find bondage boring, Doms tedious and am very very bad at being sub

I have crossed over because I know a few sub in real life who started out exploring there sub side on swinger sites and said there few Dom's with any real experience but lots of sub girls looking to try the lifestyle..

Also a few couples have crossed over because its easier to get your sub gangbanged here

I crossed over because I'm a dirty little slut who wants you enjoy herself a bit until the right Dom comes along.

What then.... enjoy your self more "

Of course, just in a different manner.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

You say that now... Try something your no good at.... Like...

Fencing?

Surfing?

Watch how you are made to yield to those with greater skill/strength.

There's always a bigger dog round the corner...

But I like your confidence;-)

For years no I have been saying:

"Even at 5'9" I'm still the biggest man to walk in any room"

Do I believe it? I have to.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

I find when people project assertiveness and/or dominance, they have mainly bend shaped by their environment.

When it's intrinsic they are usually much calmer and no one notices their dominant qualities. Only really outsiders.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"You say that now... Try something your no good at.... Like...

Fencing?

Surfing?

Watch how you are made to yield to those with greater skill/strength.

There's always a bigger dog round the corner...

But I like your confidence;-)

For years no I have been saying:

"Even at 5'9" I'm still the biggest man to walk in any room"

Do I believe it? I have to. "

Someone being better than me in a game or asking me to do something at work is not me submit to them..lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find when people project assertiveness and/or dominance, they have mainly bend shaped by their environment.

When it's intrinsic they are usually much calmer and no one notices their dominant qualities. Only really outsiders. "

I think i follow what you're saying. I dint personally protect anything other than my confidence in myself and my abilities. I don't project assertiveness, I'm simply assertive when the situation warrants. I find confidence, respect, and courtesy to be the greatest traits i have. Though others say it's how nurturing,modest, and thoughtful i am. Noone, though, sees me in a submissive light. A fighter when i have to be, a leader when needed, but not sibmissive.

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

Greater London

I definitely want to explore bdsm. Just very difficult to find someone who is suitable.

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

- thats often the point"

It's a bit like the old joke. 'Pornography humiliates and degrade women, well the stuff I like does anyway.'

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Yes. I'm a Domme, or I can play kinky without any D/s.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

It's all a game... And it's the same feeling...

Defeat comes to us all, especially the naturally dominant, because we feel the need to rise to every challenge.

This is where the distinction between the natural dominant and the "in game" BDSM dominant can be made.

One it only applies to their sexuality, the other is stuck with it, wether tyey like it or not.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"I definitely want to explore bdsm. Just very difficult to find someone who is suitable. "

Well it would help if you went to E on the sunday as its the bdsm night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

One it only applies to their sexuality, the other is stuck with it, wether tyey like it or not."

I get what you're saying, but...

Some of us are capable of choosing to submit and temporarily give up our dominant traits. It's the biggest rush of all, brought on by the largest inner war imaginable. Overcoming what comes naturally to you is the biggest challenge ever. Winning that can yield the greatest reward.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nked_DomMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

- thats often the point

It's a bit like the old joke. 'Pornography humiliates and degrade women, well the stuff I like does anyway.' "

I like it so much I am going to steal it

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading."

I respect your right not to engage in such activities and I feel no need to insult or criticise you for it.

Perhaps you could extend the same courtesy to people who do wish to involve themselves in consensual activities which hold no appeal for you? You're not into it. Words such as perverted are not constructive.

I'm sure most of us could think of words to describe people who are not interested in BDSM and are judgmental towards those who are. Rather than use those words most accept and respect your choice.

Perhaps consider the message this sends about the attitude of many people who enjoy BDSM versus the attitude of some who do not.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

I totally agree, those that have the conflct between yes/no get the most out of their sexuality.

And those that can switch off, probs get more out of real life.

But those of us who can't are trapped, we either have to say/do nothing or take over.

Don't get me wrong, it's not so black and white, but in text and without extrapolating my point, this is the best I can do.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I totally agree, those that have the conflct between yes/no get the most out of their sexuality.

And those that can switch off, probs get more out of real life.

But those of us who can't are trapped, we either have to say/do nothing or take over.

Don't get me wrong, it's not so black and white, but in text and without extrapolating my point, this is the best I can do."

I *think* that i am following what you're saying, though obviously it's possible I'm quite mistaken in that.

To submit is the biggest personal challenge I've ever faced. I am often described as 'topping from the bottom' or of 'overthinking' things. I have only found one Dom that i have ever allowed to use pain on me because i trust slow, clearly communicate my limits, stick to my limits, and my submission must be earned. Only once it's earned and established can i then win that inner war. Few 'doms' that i have met understand how my submission works, respect that it's not instantaneous or easily given, or expect all subs to be just naturally submissive in every way. I'm not. Even when i win my inner battle and find submission, i submit in my own way. Tape my mouth and tell me i can't take the tape off and i will cut a slit in the tape so i can drink though a straw or smoke, or peel just enough off to drink or smoke whilst still wearing the tape across my mouth as instructed. I break no rules, yet i don't mindlessly follow either.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

We're kinda on a similar level, yet from different perspectives...

The kind of testing your talking about is normal, it's similar to how children test their parents.

We all want to see how far we can go... We did get to the moon after all!

And in these forums we often talk about striking pain, but sometimes muscle ache and discomfort are much more challenging...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We're kinda on a similar level, yet from different perspectives...

The kind of testing your talking about is normal, it's similar to how children test their parents.

We all want to see how far we can go... We did get to the moon after all!

And in these forums we often talk about striking pain, but sometimes muscle ache and discomfort are much more challenging..."

Yes, as is fatigue.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *astersfuckpigCouple
over a year ago

Eastbourne

Just about to start posting but I see Master beat me to it

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I kind of think about this subject around would you prefer to be a tree or a piece of grass....

Massive wind comes along one day and the tree is gone and the grass?

If you haven't the flexibility to bend to meet circumstances, if you are fixed in your mindset and attitude, how can you possibly meet the needs of the person you are with to create the altered state necessary in the interaction.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

And it's kinda the classic D/s situation, he wants, earns, you give, rules set, game begins.

My game is different.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Good point there's an old saying...

"He with the most flexibility controls the system"

But that tree may of been there for a thousand years, the grass only 5.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like lots of things in life, some really enjoy it others don't. There is nothing that will be for everybody.

Personally it's a yes for us and happy to enjoy that with each other or with other couples

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Good point there's an old saying...

"He with the most flexibility controls the system"

But that tree may of been there for a thousand years, the grass only 5."

The "part" with the most flexibility controls the system.... Korbyzki

As to a lifetime, that is what it is, it's how you live it that matters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow, come back to the thread and we're all trees and grass.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Wow, come back to the thread and we're all trees and grass. "

Got to get the wood and canes from somewhere.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wow, come back to the thread and we're all trees and grass.

Got to get the wood and canes from somewhere. "

That's so true and the rough bark of a tree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And it's kinda the classic D/s situation, he wants, earns, you give, rules set, game begins.

My game is different."

How so?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Wow, come back to the thread and we're all trees and grass.

Got to get the wood and canes from somewhere.

That's so true and the rough bark of a tree "

Knots in the wood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a couple of spankings in my time here. The last one did go down quite well. But to go further I'd need to trust someone 100%

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

I love waking up to find I'm tied to the bed by my wrists and ankles, and a nice woman is helping herself to me. Similarly, I love taking a restrained woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strong and I are a D/s couple both in and out of the bedroom, he never tells me to do anything he will give me an option and I will always choose to please him as this is when I feel most satisfied.

A true dominant male does not act like a bully or demanding thug but will nurture and protect his sub whilst also pushing limits and setting boundaries.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

I'm more looking for the clash and friction that comes from not knowing...

Overpowering a less dominant (not a sub)...

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Yep I see this, but again it's just a sexual dom....

Take a look at CNBC, 5 mins of watching American business leaders and everyone is dominant, 20% may be sub behind closed doors, 20% dom behind closed doors...

And those that are dom, it's inseparable from their nature, man, woman, friend or foe they are always the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never know what is coming, I'm often in tender hooks waiting. Strong plans everything he pushes me constantly both physically but more importantly mentally.

The more humiliating and degrading the better!!

I'm happiest when I'm a complete filthy mess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I've found that a true dominant man is always able to control any situation.

Complete and utter narcissists lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm more looking for the clash and friction that comes from not knowing...

Overpowering a less dominant (not a sub)..."

I'm following, i think. It's a fairly thin line to walk, though, it would seem. Difficult balance being dominant without just coming across as a bully, which should actually defeat the purpose entirely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefetr light bdsm...spanking..gags blindfolds..leg restraints etc with roleplay.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Nice...

It's surprising how many women want to call you "master" within 5 minutes of talking... Not a problem, we are all looking for something.

But my name is enough...

The intensity in my eyes should connect with theirs, like two boxers in a ring, they become one entity through conflict.

I don't need monikers or fancy dress aliases, just presence and eye contact...

But then I'm not a "dom".

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

You will only find that out when they are surrounded by chaos...

There is no other test, then sit back and watch as the strongest fall apart.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Very thin line... Super hard to find a match.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BDSM is part of my life much more so than swinging.

I can't imagine having another vanilla relationship as I find them totally unfulfilling.

I'm an alpha sub so finding an ideal Dom is tough but it's fun looking

The one thing I would say OP is I personally wouldn't look for that on Fab and I know I'm not alone in that.

Hope you find your kink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. "

im educated enough to know that your sentence should say people who ARE or WERE not people who WAS.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are there posts missing from this thread or have I totally lost it

Bring back the trees

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

In thinking about it, I think when your in someone's presence you can tell if they are a bully (to a certain extent), but the way they treat people around them.

So maybe it's about projecting your true self and let the chips fall where they may.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you.

im educated enough to know that your sentence should say people who ARE or WERE not people who WAS. "

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I suppose I am but it's a label that has many different permutations with very specific people. It's about wanting to be 'his' sub not 'a' sub if that makes any sense.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

They have a point... Pedantic.. But still a point!

Not something to blow your top over though... It's not a grammar lesson!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do .

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In thinking about it, I think when your in someone's presence you can tell if they are a bully (to a certain extent), but the way they treat people around them.

So maybe it's about projecting your true self and let the chips fall where they may."

Yes, to a certain extent, it would be about projecting or rather presenting the true picture of who you are and letting the chips fall. As for walking the line and difficulty finding a partner, i can well imagine it. The difficulty i could foresee if i had that type of relationship would be in feeling that my thoughts and needswere of concern to my partner. Potentially, though i realise not always i admit, his drive to win would overshadow his respect and care for me. If i am not equal outside the bedroom, then i will walk away. I wouldn't constantly have my needs denied just so he never had to do something which isn't truly but in his eyes would be submitting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suppose I am but it's a label that has many different permutations with very specific people. It's about wanting to be 'his' sub not 'a' sub if that makes any sense."

It makes sense to me. In my life, as much as i have wanted to find the right Dom for me, i have only been able to submit to any degree with 2 men. It was the men that i wanted, not simply to be submissive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In thinking about it, I think when your in someone's presence you can tell if they are a bully (to a certain extent), but the way they treat people around them.

So maybe it's about projecting your true self and let the chips fall where they may."

Use the 'reply and quote' button so people know which post you are replying to.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

That's the danger in every relationship you will ever have...

The worst result is always 0.

So you roll the dice.

Plus there's always mitigating factors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's the danger in every relationship you will ever have...

The worst result is always 0.

So you roll the dice.

Plus there's always mitigating factors. "

Yes it is a factor in any relationship, however there is a huge potential in the scenario you've described for it to be a very exaggerated factor above that found in other relationships. Gambling is something i don't mind doing, if it feels right. I won't do it if it doesn't. Not afraid to lose, it's a judgement of 'is it worth losing for'.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Totally agree....

Believe it or not, I have had a fair few relationships like that and none of the issues discussed came up.

But, because it doesn't come along often I keep all others in a friends basis...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To quote my profile text:

"Contrary to popular belief, it is the sub who is in control. The sub sets the limits that the Dom can go to. The D/s relationship is one of trust. Mutual respect is paramount. It is only when the guidelines and limits are known, boundaries are set and safe words are established that the fun can begin."

"

It is not the sub who sets the boundaries. That statement assumes that the sub's limits are 'lower' than the Dom's. What about where the Dom has a limit or boundary on something they don't feel comfortable doing? Then the sub has to respect that.

I get so riled up by the 'submission is a gift' rubbish. Without a Dom, there cannot be any submission. It is a mutual partnership. As much as the sub trusts the Dom, the Dom has to trust that the sub will be open and honest with limits, boundaries, past injuries and possible triggers.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never found it appealing. A little slap of the bum whilst f*cking is my limit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish. "

What do you mean when you say whole fetish? People can be fetishist without having any desires for the D/s element.

crystal

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By *inkypervertMan
over a year ago

Durham

I am more into BDSM than vanilla sex, although there is nothing wrong with vanilla.

Despite that my "name" here is kinky pervert, I don't think that BDSM is "wrong"

On other hand, I completely not into D/s lifestyle. D/s play - yes, but otherwise I believe everyone is equal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love to try alot more than i have. Done bits and pieces but I would love to delve much deeper into the kink world!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

With my past subs it's always been them who sets the limits, I just play to her limits. She tells me when to stop.. So who's really in charge at the end of it..?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"With my past subs it's always been them who sets the limits, I just play to her limits. She tells me when to stop.. So who's really in charge at the end of it..?"

You both are. If a sub wanted you to do play that you didn't like, or that you didn't think she was ready for or was safe would you still do it? She tells you to stop when she's had enough but do you observe and judge on your own merit? What if your sub hasn't experienced a certain sensation and doesn't communicate? Do you carry on regardless or do you judge whether it's safe to continue or not? The sub is never 'always the one in control', nor do they 'have all the power' if the Dom is a responsible and safety conscious Dom. It's a two way street.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"That's the danger in every relationship you will ever have...

The worst result is always 0.

So you roll the dice.

Plus there's always mitigating factors. "

Didn't realise there was a 0 on a dice

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk


"I love it.

Tight bondage.

Roping.

Spanking.

Whipping.

A little caning.

Flogging.

Toys.

Pin wheels.

Want to try violet wand.

Humiliation. Well a little.

Mild ball whipping.

Sensory dep.

yep. Love it

Love the violet wand~ best thing ever

Oh I wish you'd show me

Is the violet wand the same as a fluvita...?

Yes as far as I know "

such good fun in the right hands..

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I love it.

Tight bondage.

Roping.

Spanking.

Whipping.

A little caning.

Flogging.

Toys.

Pin wheels.

Want to try violet wand.

Humiliation. Well a little.

Mild ball whipping.

Sensory dep.

yep. Love it

Love the violet wand~ best thing ever

Oh I wish you'd show me

Is the violet wand the same as a fluvita...?

Yes as far as I know

such good fun in the right hands.."

He he, created something similar out of a slender tone machine, the rheostat and new batteries are great fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

- thats often the point"

But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination?

My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

- thats often the point

But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination?

My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill."

You won't ever understand as it's not your thing. Don't worry about it. Some people won't understand you either.

You are entitled to your _iew. Some may well be but most aren't.

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By *astpoetMan
over a year ago

where the world takes me


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

- thats often the point

But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination?

My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill."

Count me as mentally ill then, and of weirdly i'm a man who likes submitting to women, tv/ts and couples that must make me proper batshit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

- thats often the point

But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination?

My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill."

Men submit too. And people switch. Where does that fits with equality?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

- thats often the point

But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination?

My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill."

Totally Bat crap crazy here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

That's whys it's so good.

- thats often the point

But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination?

My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill.

Totally Bat crap crazy here "

I love BDSM, I love the emotions it allows me to explore and liberate for a time, both mine and my partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading."

Which is absolutely fantastic if that is what you are looking for x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading.

Which is absolutely fantastic if that is what you are looking for x "

You could easily argue that to be able to do that with someone, to degrade them or humiliate them, exert control through the mind of physical action... shows a level of trust and a connection that can run very deep... A relationship like that can be very beautiful and rewarding, as well as fucking filthy and downright sadistic...

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination?

My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill."

Maybe because I still fight daily for equality out of the bedroom and denying myself something I love doing sexually because of what other people might think is pandering to an anachronistic notion that women should be nice and sweet and not go for what they want sexually? I may be submissive in bed but that doesn't mean I'm not feisty as hell out of it and every partner I've explored this sexual aspect with has respected that dichotomy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mmmm this is a tough one. .. as I am

No sub even thou I do like my buds to take control once they have had the breff in the area we are exploring. . U see my buds explore me and push my limits. .... I have had conversion with

Doms and masters. ... I have meet up with one.... quite frankly I was bored and

Stopped the meet.... I've also spoken to a few that scared the shit out of me...

I like the connection between them both

The intensity of the mind... that's what turns me on ... u see I do like my mind to be engaged before my body...

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

yes but nothing to extreem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like it but we'd never want it to be a life style choice as its just naughty sexy role play to us.

Am not really into ropes I just like to physically pin the wife down or control her by her hair.

I do occasionally like to be her sub for for a bit as I find it a massive turn on but after being teased whipped & made to do things i tend to turn it around & have very rough sex

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish. "

I have an keen interest but very little experience as it's not Mr B's thing. So it's something that I enjoy exploring with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yep... Never any real education about the subject...

I'm a massive learner and love to find nuggets of gold, but very few on this subject.

I myself struggle with my nature... I'm not a "dom" or a fucking "bull", but I'm naturally assertive, animalistic and intense sexually & non-sexually.

I can be cruel, suspend my empathy, yet also be tender, sensual and relaxed...

I have a great imagination for BDSM and due to the nature of my job, am excellent at creating devices/situations to confuse/stimulate the senses...

I am also not a fan of subs, I far prefer a room full of alphas, to the point where the brewing conflict is almost tangible.

I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night.

Find a box for that.

Ok you are a swinger

But do not make the mistake as most do a submissive submits all the time..

The ones who can fully submit who will give you they mind,body and soul are alpha females who will submit to no one but you..

You would not spot them in a crowded room and she's probably your boss at work.. "

Indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would love to get into the scene ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You would not spot them in a crowded room and she's probably your boss at work..

Indeed "

Hope not, I am my boss and way to big & ugly to be a TV

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