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friend requests

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just been told that its rude to send a friend request without asking if I could send a friend request ???? Isn't that just doing the same thing twice?

And this is just a website for goodness sake, its not like I knocked on her front door in the middle of the night and asked. But then again I have seen one or two people in the forums say its rude and maybe she is just following the

herd. Surely if you're rude to someone then they could be offended by it. Is anyone actually offended by a friend request??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im never offended by them

I just ignore them all

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts


"Im never offended by them

I just ignore them all "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get them, but with no prior interaction there will no acceptance.

Her

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Im never offended by them

I just ignore them all "

Thats fair enough but its not rude is it, why do people take things so seriously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id like to know why you think that not wanting random friends requests is being a sheep?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Its rude if youve never said two words to the person but if youve been mailing each other then no i dont think its rude

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think Its rude if youve never said two words to the person but if youve been mailing each other then no i dont think its rude"

Why is it rude?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although I dont send them as realise they aren't appreciated but that is a good point! It is like asking twice, plus some people you know are going to be popular and receive loads of mail so wont get to check all out properly, have heard every subject imaginable and go with pic's as their main deciding factor to reply or not so at least it would save some poor sod from a brain hemeridge trying tirelessly to be imaganitive! Honestly not as bitter as I sound

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Id like to know why you think that not wanting random friends requests is being a sheep? "

Didnt mean not wanting them, meant saying sending one was rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think Its rude if youve never said two words to the person but if youve been mailing each other then no i dont think its rude

Why is it rude?"
your assuming they want the add, no contact, its rude, like opening a front door without permission, message or wink first, if no reply, move on.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I probably wouldn't reply to anyone who couldn't spell "haemorrhage"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id like to know why you think that not wanting random friends requests is being a sheep?

Didnt mean not wanting them, meant saying sending one was rude"

Still don't see how thats being a sheep,or are you saying that because you're pissed off about it?

She thinks its rude,thats how she feels,so do many other people,not because they're sheep but because they feel people are trying to look at their private pictures and they get protective over them and who gets to see them

Maybe you were the 20th person who had done the same today and you got the wrath

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think Its rude if youve never said two words to the person but if youve been mailing each other then no i dont think its rude

Why is it rude?your assuming they want the add, no contact, its rude, like opening a front door without permission, message or wink first, if no reply, move on.

No I'm not and its nothing like opening a front door, its just a tool on a website for goodness sakd. Just to accept or ignore

Her"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think Its rude if youve never said two words to the person but if youve been mailing each other then no i dont think its rude

Why is it rude?your assuming they want the add, no contact, its rude, like opening a front door without permission, message or wink first, if no reply, move on.

No I'm not and its nothing like opening a front door, its just a tool on a website for goodness sakd. Just to accept or ignore

Her"
no not literally like opening a front door, and I'm fully aware its a tool on a site, but what makes you assume they want the add? No chatting nothing.

Her

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Id like to know why you think that not wanting random friends requests is being a sheep?

Didnt mean not wanting them, meant saying sending one was rude

Still don't see how thats being a sheep,or are you saying that because you're pissed off about it?

She thinks its rude,thats how she feels,so do many other people,not because they're sheep but because they feel people are trying to look at their private pictures and they get protective over them and who gets to see them

Maybe you were the 20th person who had done the same today and you got the wrath "

Because when somebody says something like ooh thats rude someone else will think oh ye it is and so on and so on. When its not rude at all, it just shows an interest and as you say, all you have to do is ignore them. Does that hurt so much?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I probably wouldn't reply to anyone who couldn't spell "haemorrhage" "
Haha glad you only said 'probably'! Damn predicted messaging

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think Its rude if youve never said two words to the person but if youve been mailing each other then no i dont think its rude

Why is it rude?your assuming they want the add, no contact, its rude, like opening a front door without permission, message or wink first, if no reply, move on.

No I'm not and its nothing like opening a front door, its just a tool on a website for goodness sakd. Just to accept or ignore

Herno not literally like opening a front door, and I'm fully aware its a tool on a site, but what makes you assume they want the add? No chatting nothing.

Her"

I didn't assume anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Because when somebody says something like ooh thats rude someone else will think oh ye it is and so on and so on. When its not rude at all, it just shows an interest and as you say, all you have to do is ignore them. Does that hurt so much?"

Sending a friend request isn't just showing an interest - you can do that with a wink or, God forbid, an email. Sending a friend request goes a lot further, and for a lot of people it comes across as 'Hi! You don't know me in the slightest, but I want to see your private gallery. You know, the one where you keep all your face pics.'

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

Because when somebody says something like ooh thats rude someone else will think oh ye it is and so on and so on. When its not rude at all, it just shows an interest and as you say, all you have to do is ignore them. Does that hurt so much?

Sending a friend request isn't just showing an interest - you can do that with a wink or, God forbid, an email. Sending a friend request goes a lot further, and for a lot of people it comes across as 'Hi! You don't know me in the slightest, but I want to see your private gallery. You know, the one where you keep all your face pics.'"

This!

To us interest can come in many forms - a wink (which generally go unnoticed), a fab (which we take as nothing more than a virtual 'thumbs up' on a pic we've taken) or - and this is our preference - a message. Of course a crap message or one where it's obvious our profile hasn't been read goes straight in the bin - a good one will get a reply.

A friends request, unless we've actually met you just says 'I can't be arsed to write a message', 'hopefully you'll accept so I can view more pics' or 'I treat this site like bookface and am that insecure that I need as many friends as possible'.

Look up the definition of 'friend' - on second thoughts - here it is!

"a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations."

Obviously being a swingers site you can forget the 'exclusive of sexual relations' bit (although we have friends we've met via Fab socially that we haven't/won't be getting jiggy with) - but to us the key word in the definition is 'mutual'. How is a random request from a total stranger ever going to be mutual? You don't know each other from Adam. You've never spoken, messaged, or met. Prior to the random request arriving you won't even have known the other party exists!

So rude? Maybe, maybe not. But most definitely presumptuous, lazy and massively optimistic.

Hence we have three figures worth of requests sat going mouldy.

A

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester


"Id like to know why you think that not wanting random friends requests is being a sheep?

Didnt mean not wanting them, meant saying sending one was rude

Still don't see how thats being a sheep,or are you saying that because you're pissed off about it?

She thinks its rude,thats how she feels,so do many other people,not because they're sheep but because they feel people are trying to look at their private pictures and they get protective over them and who gets to see them

Maybe you were the 20th person who had done the same today and you got the wrath

Because when somebody says something like ooh thats rude someone else will think oh ye it is and so on and so on. When its not rude at all, it just shows an interest and as you say, all you have to do is ignore them. Does that hurt so much?"

I regret it when we delete a friends request when we have never met the person/people and we have never messaged each other - because they might be nice and we might have got on, but we will never know because of them sending the friends request as the first contact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care if I get a friend request more the merry lol

It's not FBook so these nothing personal about me on fab and where all here for sex so embrace it

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I don't care if I get a friend request more the merry lol

It's not FBook so these nothing personal about me on fab and where all here for sex so embrace it "

Where not.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course its rude (in our eyes anyway) as it states on our profile we will not accept any friend requests unless we have already spoken before, its just common decency to ask if its ok to send a friend request atleast isnt it? Plus as we have other photos of us who we do not want just anyone to see then we like to know who we grant access to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't care if I get a friend request more the merry lol

It's not FBook so these nothing personal about me on fab and where all here for sex so embrace it "

And it obviously shows you are going the right way about it fella with being on the site for over a year and not having a single meet!! Its guys like this who ruin the chances for the decent single guys out there! !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been told that its rude to send a friend request without asking if I could send a friend request ???? Isn't that just doing the same thing twice?

And this is just a website for goodness sake, its not like I knocked on her front door in the middle of the night and asked. But then again I have seen one or two people in the forums say its rude and maybe she is just following the

herd. Surely if you're rude to someone then they could be offended by it. Is anyone actually offended by a friend request??"

Don't think it's rude, just a bit ignorant. If someone is too lazy to interact first ,then they arnt for us. Just asking if you can friend first doesn't cut the mustard either.

I'm sure some people do accept random requests ,but can't see why.

We just ignore them,

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

I don't find them rude, it a choice if to accept or not, easy as that xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course its rude (in our eyes anyway) as it states on our profile we will not accept any friend requests unless we have already spoken before, its just common decency to ask if its ok to send a friend request atleast isnt it? Plus as we have other photos of us who we do not want just anyone to see then we like to know who we grant access to "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course its rude (in our eyes anyway) as it states on our profile we will not accept any friend requests unless we have already spoken before, its just common decency to ask if its ok to send a friend request atleast isnt it? Plus as we have other photos of us who we do not want just anyone to see then we like to know who we grant access to "

Well explained, same reasons as us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course its rude (in our eyes anyway) as it states on our profile we will not accept any friend requests unless we have already spoken before, its just common decency to ask if its ok to send a friend request atleast isnt it? Plus as we have other photos of us who we do not want just anyone to see then we like to know who we grant access to

Well explained, same reasons as us"

Me too, and I'm not just following the herd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course its rude (in our eyes anyway) as it states on our profile we will not accept any friend requests unless we have already spoken before, its just common decency to ask if its ok to send a friend request atleast isnt it? Plus as we have other photos of us who we do not want just anyone to see then we like to know who we grant access to

Well explained, same reasons as us"

Well thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Because when somebody says something like ooh thats rude someone else will think oh ye it is and so on and so on. When its not rude at all, it just shows an interest and as you say, all you have to do is ignore them. Does that hurt so much?

Sending a friend request isn't just showing an interest - you can do that with a wink or, God forbid, an email. Sending a friend request goes a lot further, and for a lot of people it comes across as 'Hi! You don't know me in the slightest, but I want to see your private gallery. You know, the one where you keep all your face pics.'

This!

To us interest can come in many forms - a wink (which generally go unnoticed), a fab (which we take as nothing more than a virtual 'thumbs up' on a pic we've taken) or - and this is our preference - a message. Of course a crap message or one where it's obvious our profile hasn't been read goes straight in the bin - a good one will get a reply.

A friends request, unless we've actually met you just says 'I can't be arsed to write a message', 'hopefully you'll accept so I can view more pics' or 'I treat this site like bookface and am that insecure that I need as many friends as possible'.

Look up the definition of 'friend' - on second thoughts - here it is!

"a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations."

Obviously being a swingers site you can forget the 'exclusive of sexual relations' bit (although we have friends we've met via Fab socially that we haven't/won't be getting jiggy with) - but to us the key word in the definition is 'mutual'. How is a random request from a total stranger ever going to be mutual? You don't know each other from Adam. You've never spoken, messaged, or met. Prior to the random request arriving you won't even have known the other party exists!

So rude? Maybe, maybe not. But most definitely presumptuous, lazy and massively optimistic.

Hence we have three figures worth of requests sat going mouldy.

A"

So you think everyone who has 'friends' on here has a bond of mutual affection with them.? Crap.This is not the real world and meanings of words can't always be used in the same context.

And I'm not on fbook but where would that site be without friend requests

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't find them rude, it a choice if to accept or not, easy as that xxx"

Yes it is a choice if to accept them or not but we disagree that it's not rude, On our profile it clearly states about receiving a friends request without even chatting to us first hand. So when we still receive dozens of random friends request sent to us each day when they clearly haven't read our profile does that still not make them being rude???

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

Because when somebody says something like ooh thats rude someone else will think oh ye it is and so on and so on. When its not rude at all, it just shows an interest and as you say, all you have to do is ignore them. Does that hurt so much?

Sending a friend request isn't just showing an interest - you can do that with a wink or, God forbid, an email. Sending a friend request goes a lot further, and for a lot of people it comes across as 'Hi! You don't know me in the slightest, but I want to see your private gallery. You know, the one where you keep all your face pics.'

This!

To us interest can come in many forms - a wink (which generally go unnoticed), a fab (which we take as nothing more than a virtual 'thumbs up' on a pic we've taken) or - and this is our preference - a message. Of course a crap message or one where it's obvious our profile hasn't been read goes straight in the bin - a good one will get a reply.

A friends request, unless we've actually met you just says 'I can't be arsed to write a message', 'hopefully you'll accept so I can view more pics' or 'I treat this site like bookface and am that insecure that I need as many friends as possible'.

Look up the definition of 'friend' - on second thoughts - here it is!

"a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations."

Obviously being a swingers site you can forget the 'exclusive of sexual relations' bit (although we have friends we've met via Fab socially that we haven't/won't be getting jiggy with) - but to us the key word in the definition is 'mutual'. How is a random request from a total stranger ever going to be mutual? You don't know each other from Adam. You've never spoken, messaged, or met. Prior to the random request arriving you won't even have known the other party exists!

So rude? Maybe, maybe not. But most definitely presumptuous, lazy and massively optimistic.

Hence we have three figures worth of requests sat going mouldy.

A

So you think everyone who has 'friends' on here has a bond of mutual affection with them.? Crap.This is not the real world and meanings of words can't always be used in the same context.

And I'm not on fbook but where would that site be without friend requests"

We've met (and like!) 90% of our friends list. The other 10% we began chatting to and swapped many a message before adding.

We've also met many people not on our friends list. If we don't chat or meet again - why would we need to add?

Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't accept random friend requests as in the past when we have we have found the people concerned don't message us after so they have very quickly been deleted! We like to have a bit of conversation first then accept requests and generally it's only with people we would like to meet. Many people send requests purely to see our private pictures and we think there are enough on view in our public gallery !

Happy Friday everyone ! Her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People that send random friend requests are the Jehovah witnesses of these forums..just my take on things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No and its not offensive to random friendship request but I don't accept them and nor would I random friendship request someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A simple "Would you mind if I/we sent a friends request to you" would make that person/couple stand out to us straight away, those simple few words that take a few seconds to type and unfortunately some people on here cant even be bothered to do that, each to their own and all of that but our block list gets a good seeing to every day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People only send random requests to people they've never met or even messagged in order to perve private pictures.

Not sure it's rude but we only accept them when we can see they are offline to check their pics and then delete them.

On occasion we've messaged people along rhe lines of 'thanks for the friend request, we don't accept random ones but like the look of your profile and would happily chat' and it would never lead anywhere

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A"

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"I don't care if I get a friend request more the merry lol

It's not FBook so these nothing personal about me on fab and where all here for sex so embrace it

And it obviously shows you are going the right way about it fella with being on the site for over a year and not having a single meet!! Its guys like this who ruin the chances for the decent single guys out there! !!"

Well that's the point: his behaviour is perceived as being rude even if he doesn't think it is, and his bleating about it won't change that. Hence no meets.

I don't agree that it makes it tough for all single guys though. His bad manners male it easier for the rest of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats in it for us ?

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to be asked first

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two "

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No and its not offensive to random friendship request but I don't accept them and nor would I random friendship request someone else"

I don't see it as rude either but why would anyone accept a request of someone who hasn't spoken? Clearly it is to see the private pics, if i wanted anyone to see them; i would put them in public...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?"

General concensus is that people would rather have some kind of interaction first, so sending a random friend request isn't a very good ice breaker, probably more like throwing a rock at the ice and it bouncing back at you.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?"

A message is a much better way of breaking the ice and letting someone know you're interested. An unsolicited friend request just means you want to see their pics. And a wink or Fab would be more likely to be construed as a compliment.

Also, if you don't friend all and sundry, why do you think others should accept unsolicited friends requests from all and sundry?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not offended by it but if we haven't chatted then I just block the sender. It clearly says so in my profile and they are only pic collectors. I use it as an extra filter (an arsehole filter)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

General concensus is that people would rather have some kind of interaction first, so sending a random friend request isn't a very good ice breaker, probably more like throwing a rock at the ice and it bouncing back at you."

Bit like a wink or unsolicited message then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some may find it rude, but it can be seen as invasion of privacy on their pics, proberly more the point than rude, as I even stated.

That's why I think, interaction should go ahead first.

Her

Her

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

I see it as rude and perhaps a tad arrogant. Words first x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

A message is a much better way of breaking the ice and letting someone know you're interested. An unsolicited friend request just means you want to see their pics. And a wink or Fab would be more likely to be construed as a compliment.

Also, if you don't friend all and sundry, why do you think others should accept unsolicited friends requests from all and sundry?"

I never said they should accept them. And where in my original post did I say there had been no interaction between us before I sent a friend request?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?"

And how is that working out for you?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"I never said they should accept them. And where in my original post did I say there had been no interaction between us before I sent a friend request?"

Well no-one ever died from an unsolicited friend request, but you asked why people think its rude, and we have provided reasons. I am sure you can make your own mind up as to whether you respect those or not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

And how is that working out for you? "

Fine thanks

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?"

Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar/club/the street and say "do you want to be friends?" ??

You'd either get ignored, called a nutter or possibly a slap! Why should it be different on the net?

And no - we got no request. But then we have filters in place, based on our preferences, that stop requests from those we've no interest in.

An ice breaker? It's as subtle as using a lump hammer to knock in a drawing pin. It's running before you can walk. It's as likely to portray a good first impression as a "fancy a fuck?" Message.

Hence why, as you may have observed by the responses on here and countless other threads - it's unlikely to go down well and far more likely to get you blocked than welcomed with open arms.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

And how is that working out for you?

Fine thanks"

Then that's all that matters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day people will continue to send unsolicited friend requests and therefore get the same out of this site. Usually no meets after being here over a year but hey ho at least they are doing what makes them happy. Looks like from this thread people don't accept them but if it makes them happy

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar/club/the street and say "do you want to be friends?" ??

You'd either get ignored, called a nutter or possibly a slap! Why should it be different on the net?

And no - we got no request. But then we have filters in place, based on our preferences, that stop requests from those we've no interest in.

An ice breaker? It's as subtle as using a lump hammer to knock in a drawing pin. It's running before you can walk. It's as likely to portray a good first impression as a "fancy a fuck?" Message.

Hence why, as you may have observed by the responses on here and countless other threads - it's unlikely to go down well and far more likely to get you blocked than welcomed with open arms.

A"

I totally agree and this is such a clear explanation of why it is perceived as being rude, in no way an ice breaker, and stands even less chance of being accepted than a first message

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar/club/the street and say "do you want to be friends?" ??

You'd either get ignored, called a nutter or possibly a slap! Why should it be different on the net?

And no - we got no request. But then we have filters in place, based on our preferences, that stop requests from those we've no interest in.

An ice breaker? It's as subtle as using a lump hammer to knock in a drawing pin. It's running before you can walk. It's as likely to portray a good first impression as a "fancy a fuck?" Message.

Hence why, as you may have observed by the responses on here and countless other threads - it's unlikely to go down well and far more likely to get you blocked than welcomed with open arms.

A"

Would you walk into a bar with a doughnut on your cock? Of course the net is different

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar/club/the street and say "do you want to be friends?" ??

You'd either get ignored, called a nutter or possibly a slap! Why should it be different on the net?

And no - we got no request. But then we have filters in place, based on our preferences, that stop requests from those we've no interest in.

An ice breaker? It's as subtle as using a lump hammer to knock in a drawing pin. It's running before you can walk. It's as likely to portray a good first impression as a "fancy a fuck?" Message.

Hence why, as you may have observed by the responses on here and countless other threads - it's unlikely to go down well and far more likely to get you blocked than welcomed with open arms.

A

I totally agree and this is such a clear explanation of why it is perceived as being rude, in no way an ice breaker, and stands even less chance of being accepted than a first message"

Really? So how did I get my 'friends' here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Really? So how did I get my 'friends' here?"

You asked a question, it's been answered, but you seem on the defensive?

At the end of the day it doesn't matter what others think, if you want to send requests ,wink, message, in any order etc, that's your prerogative .

Just enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar/club/the street and say "do you want to be friends?" ??

You'd either get ignored, called a nutter or possibly a slap! Why should it be different on the net?

And no - we got no request. But then we have filters in place, based on our preferences, that stop requests from those we've no interest in.

An ice breaker? It's as subtle as using a lump hammer to knock in a drawing pin. It's running before you can walk. It's as likely to portray a good first impression as a "fancy a fuck?" Message.

Hence why, as you may have observed by the responses on here and countless other threads - it's unlikely to go down well and far more likely to get you blocked than welcomed with open arms.

A

Would you walk into a bar with a doughnut on your cock? Of course the net is different"

I would.

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By *randmrsminxyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

So when you phone rings about ppi or life insurance or double glazing , your happy to talk to them . Even though you have never given them your number .

I would hazard a guess that you just cut them off mid sentence.???

So there is your answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar/club/the street and say "do you want to be friends?" ??

You'd either get ignored, called a nutter or possibly a slap! Why should it be different on the net?

And no - we got no request. But then we have filters in place, based on our preferences, that stop requests from those we've no interest in.

An ice breaker? It's as subtle as using a lump hammer to knock in a drawing pin. It's running before you can walk. It's as likely to portray a good first impression as a "fancy a fuck?" Message.

Hence why, as you may have observed by the responses on here and countless other threads - it's unlikely to go down well and far more likely to get you blocked than welcomed with open arms.

A

I totally agree and this is such a clear explanation of why it is perceived as being rude, in no way an ice breaker, and stands even less chance of being accepted than a first message

Really? So how did I get my 'friends' here?"

I guess it depends on what you want from the site. To us swinging is about meetibg people and having sex, it's not about amassing a 'friends' list of random people we may never meet.

But as I've alreafy said if it works fir you that's all that matters

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Im never offended by them

I just ignore them all

Thats fair enough but its not rude is it, why do people take things so seriously"

I don't know why they do but they do. Why are you taking this so seriously for instance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it a tad rude if the person has never so much as said hi and they add us, the reason I find it rude? Well you wouldnt walk upto a woman or man in the street and just pull there trousers down without first saying hi would you haha - miss jay

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow


"Just been told that its rude to send a friend request without asking if I could send a friend request ???? Isn't that just doing the same thing twice?

And this is just a website for goodness sake, its not like I knocked on her front door in the middle of the night and asked. But then again I have seen one or two people in the forums say its rude and maybe she is just following the

herd. Surely if you're rude to someone then they could be offended by it. Is anyone actually offended by a friend request??"

I guess if you dont bother to read a persons profile first in which it says they will not except random friends reqests it could be seen as rude , but hey what do I know ?

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By *icefellatwoMan
over a year ago

hastings


"I prefer to be asked first "

I would love to ask you but I am too old

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Im never offended by them

I just ignore them all

Thats fair enough but its not rude is it, why do people take things so seriously

I don't know why they do but they do. Why are you taking this so seriously for instance?"

I'm not, it just amuses me and I like to give a response

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"Just been told that its rude to send a friend request without asking if I could send a friend request ???? Isn't that just doing the same thing twice?

And this is just a website for goodness sake, its not like I knocked on her front door in the middle of the night and asked. But then again I have seen one or two people in the forums say its rude and maybe she is just following the

herd. Surely if you're rude to someone then they could be offended by it. Is anyone actually offended by a friend request??

I guess if you dont bother to read a persons profile first in which it says they will not except random friends reqests it could be seen as rude , but hey what do I know ? "

It would be interesting to know if the OP would send a Friends Invite to a couple or woman where the profile specifically indicates that unsolicited ones are not welcome

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So when you phone rings about ppi or life insurance or double glazing , your happy to talk to them . Even though you have never given them your number .

I would hazard a guess that you just cut them off mid sentence.???

So there is your answer "

I do, but not everyone does obviously or they wouldn't bother. Its about choice and maybe I'm the rude one for cutting them off mid sentence?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar/club/the street and say "do you want to be friends?" ??

You'd either get ignored, called a nutter or possibly a slap! Why should it be different on the net?

And no - we got no request. But then we have filters in place, based on our preferences, that stop requests from those we've no interest in.

An ice breaker? It's as subtle as using a lump hammer to knock in a drawing pin. It's running before you can walk. It's as likely to portray a good first impression as a "fancy a fuck?" Message.

Hence why, as you may have observed by the responses on here and countless other threads - it's unlikely to go down well and far more likely to get you blocked than welcomed with open arms.

A

Would you walk into a bar with a doughnut on your cock? Of course the net is different

I would. "

And that provides a good first impression you think?

Cool, I'll try it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id like to know why you think that not wanting random friends requests is being a sheep?

Didnt mean not wanting them, meant saying sending one was rude

Still don't see how thats being a sheep,or are you saying that because you're pissed off about it?

She thinks its rude,thats how she feels,so do many other people,not because they're sheep but because they feel people are trying to look at their private pictures and they get protective over them and who gets to see them

Maybe you were the 20th person who had done the same today and you got the wrath

Because when somebody says something like ooh thats rude someone else will think oh ye it is and so on and so on. When its not rude at all, it just shows an interest and as you say, all you have to do is ignore them. Does that hurt so much?"

Rubbish,people can make decisions for themselves without having to read something on here

She thinks its rude,so in her world its rude and she told you so,you don't agree and thats fine but it won't change the fact that she thinks its rude,trying to get support on here won't change it either

For her its rude,for other people its not,nothing wrong with either opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Because when somebody says something like ooh thats rude someone else will think oh ye it is and so on and so on. When its not rude at all, it just shows an interest and as you say, all you have to do is ignore them. Does that hurt so much?

Sending a friend request isn't just showing an interest - you can do that with a wink or, God forbid, an email. Sending a friend request goes a lot further, and for a lot of people it comes across as 'Hi! You don't know me in the slightest, but I want to see your private gallery. You know, the one where you keep all your face pics.'"

????Hit the nail on the head!????

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Because when somebody says something like ooh thats rude someone else will think oh ye it is and so on and so on. When its not rude at all, it just shows an interest and as you say, all you have to do is ignore them. Does that hurt so much?

Sending a friend request isn't just showing an interest - you can do that with a wink or, God forbid, an email. Sending a friend request goes a lot further, and for a lot of people it comes across as 'Hi! You don't know me in the slightest, but I want to see your private gallery. You know, the one where you keep all your face pics.'

????Hit the nail on the head!????"

And if it was just wanting to see face pics, why is that rude?

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

My friends list is for people I have met, and will meet again, or people I chat to regularly and would like to meet.

Otherwise, its a no.

Unsolicited friend requests that come with no chat beforehand get mass deleted every now and again. I do see it as rude - you don't walk about hugging people on the street saying "you are my friend" without developing some sort of rapport with them...

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)


"

And if it was just wanting to see face pics, why is that rude?"

Why do you need to see them before chatting to someone on here? I only show face pics to people I have chatted to, worked out if I trust them enough, and have plans to meet. Otherwise it is irrelevant what I look like.

I live in a small village and discretion is important to me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just been told that its rude to send a friend request without asking if I could send a friend request ???? Isn't that just doing the same thing twice?

And this is just a website for goodness sake, its not like I knocked on her front door in the middle of the night and asked. But then again I have seen one or two people in the forums say its rude and maybe she is just following the

herd. Surely if you're rude to someone then they could be offended by it. Is anyone actually offended by a friend request??

I guess if you dont bother to read a persons profile first in which it says they will not except random friends reqests it could be seen as rude , but hey what do I know ?

It would be interesting to know if the OP would send a Friends Invite to a couple or woman where the profile specifically indicates that unsolicited ones are not welcome"

No I wouldn't. So maybe everyone should put that in their profile eh. Or maybe the site should just get rid of the friend request option so that people can't be so 'rude'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

And if it was just wanting to see face pics, why is that rude?

Why do you need to see them before chatting to someone on here? I only show face pics to people I have chatted to, worked out if I trust them enough, and have plans to meet. Otherwise it is irrelevant what I look like.

I live in a small village and discretion is important to me."

It wasn't about seeing face pics it was about showing an interest and keeping a handy list to know when they are online and available to chat

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)


"

And if it was just wanting to see face pics, why is that rude?

Why do you need to see them before chatting to someone on here? I only show face pics to people I have chatted to, worked out if I trust them enough, and have plans to meet. Otherwise it is irrelevant what I look like.

I live in a small village and discretion is important to me.

It wasn't about seeing face pics it was about showing an interest and keeping a handy list to know when they are online and available to chat"

Show an interest with a well written, polite and engaging first message. Friend requests straight off to me just mean I want to perv friends pics - not that you are interested, because if someone is interested, they will message and chat!

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"Just been told that its rude to send a friend request without asking if I could send a friend request ???? Isn't that just doing the same thing twice?

And this is just a website for goodness sake, its not like I knocked on her front door in the middle of the night and asked. But then again I have seen one or two people in the forums say its rude and maybe she is just following the

herd. Surely if you're rude to someone then they could be offended by it. Is anyone actually offended by a friend request??

I guess if you dont bother to read a persons profile first in which it says they will not except random friends reqests it could be seen as rude , but hey what do I know ?

It would be interesting to know if the OP would send a Friends Invite to a couple or woman where the profile specifically indicates that unsolicited ones are not welcome

No I wouldn't. So maybe everyone should put that in their profile eh. Or maybe the site should just get rid of the friend request option so that people can't be so 'rude'"

The Friends Request works perfectly well and more effectively so for those who treat people with respect so there is absolutely no reason to get rid of it. Unsolicited requests usually get ignored and/or blocked so it works just fine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

And if it was just wanting to see face pics, why is that rude?

Why do you need to see them before chatting to someone on here? I only show face pics to people I have chatted to, worked out if I trust them enough, and have plans to meet. Otherwise it is irrelevant what I look like.

I live in a small village and discretion is important to me.

It wasn't about seeing face pics it was about showing an interest and keeping a handy list to know when they are online and available to chat

Show an interest with a well written, polite and engaging first message. Friend requests straight off to me just mean I want to perv friends pics - not that you are interested, because if someone is interested, they will message and chat!"

You're just trying to get me to message you aren't you? x

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)


"

You're just trying to get me to message you aren't you? x"

Definitely not, and if you read my profile you'd see why there are numerous reasons why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think we should send some random friends requests to people on this post and see exactly what our reply would be lol im sure it would be a polite f off lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont find it rude I just prefer not to accept random friends requests. I put the pics I dont mind everyone seeing on my profile and happy to send a face pic, I just prefer to accept only those ive met, im interested in seeing updates of my friends as I know them.i get approximately ten requests a day, I would be accepting 70 a week if said yes to everyone, even people who chat why would I accept, a friend is someone ive met

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont find it rude I just prefer not to accept random friends requests. I put the pics I dont mind everyone seeing on my profile and happy to send a face pic, I just prefer to accept only those ive met, im interested in seeing updates of my friends as I know them.i get approximately ten requests a day, I would be accepting 70 a week if said yes to everyone, even people who chat why would I accept, a friend is someone ive met

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I dont find it rude I just prefer not to accept random friends requests. I put the pics I dont mind everyone seeing on my profile and happy to send a face pic, I just prefer to accept only those ive met, im interested in seeing updates of my friends as I know them.i get approximately ten requests a day, I would be accepting 70 a week if said yes to everyone, even people who chat why would I accept, a friend is someone ive met "

Exactly! A friend on here doesn't have to mean the same as a friend in the real world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It wasn't about seeing face pics it was about showing an interest and keeping a handy list to know when they are online and available to chat"

If that's the only reason ,just use the hotlist feature, you get your list and nobody accuses you of being rude,,,,sorted

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar/club/the street and say "do you want to be friends?" ??

You'd either get ignored, called a nutter or possibly a slap! Why should it be different on the net?

And no - we got no request. But then we have filters in place, based on our preferences, that stop requests from those we've no interest in.

An ice breaker? It's as subtle as using a lump hammer to knock in a drawing pin. It's running before you can walk. It's as likely to portray a good first impression as a "fancy a fuck?" Message.

Hence why, as you may have observed by the responses on here and countless other threads - it's unlikely to go down well and far more likely to get you blocked than welcomed with open arms.

A

Would you walk into a bar with a doughnut on your cock? Of course the net is different"

What relevance does the content of photos have to friends requests or walking into pubs?

No point arguing with you anymore.

Seems the majority aren't receptive to random requests. It also seems most of those stating this have no problems getting meets, according to their veri's.

I've also made one observation over the years re friends lists!

Active, meeting profiles often hide their friends lists. Where unverified profiles show theirs (well, the first twenty anyway!) - if you click through the list you often find.........yep.........more unverified long term site members with visible friends lists!

If people want to see pretty, naked pics of folk on the internet - there's a gazillion sites out there that don't rely on someone clicking 'accept' to a random strangers request.

Just an observation.

A

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar/club/the street and say "do you want to be friends?" ??

You'd either get ignored, called a nutter or possibly a slap! Why should it be different on the net?

And no - we got no request. But then we have filters in place, based on our preferences, that stop requests from those we've no interest in.

An ice breaker? It's as subtle as using a lump hammer to knock in a drawing pin. It's running before you can walk. It's as likely to portray a good first impression as a "fancy a fuck?" Message.

Hence why, as you may have observed by the responses on here and countless other threads - it's unlikely to go down well and far more likely to get you blocked than welcomed with open arms.

A

Would you walk into a bar with a doughnut on your cock? Of course the net is different

What relevance does the content of photos have to friends requests or walking into pubs?

No point arguing with you anymore.

Seems the majority aren't receptive to random requests. It also seems most of those stating this have no problems getting meets, according to their veri's.

I've also made one observation over the years re friends lists!

Active, meeting profiles often hide their friends lists. Where unverified profiles show theirs (well, the first twenty anyway!) - if you click through the list you often find.........yep.........more unverified long term site members with visible friends lists!

If people want to see pretty, naked pics of folk on the internet - there's a gazillion sites out there that don't rely on someone clicking 'accept' to a random strangers request.

Just an observation.

A"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I assume pic wanker and ignore. When I moved my private pics to friends only I suddenly became very popular

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you want to be added to peoples lists ?

If you explained your motivation maybe people could give responses based on your opinion?

A

I would be interested in this as well. As the OP has spent this thread telling people its not rude, and he's just being friendly, I would love to know why he wants to friend all and sundry without actually finding out if a meet is on the cards (or if they are even meeting).

I just ignore them by the way. No-one gets to see my pics without actually being nice to me for a message or two

Its a way of breaking the ice, letting them know that you're interested in them and in a way paying them a compliment. And I do not friend request all and sundry. Did I send one to you? Or anyone else on this post?

Would you walk up to a stranger in a bar/club/the street and say "do you want to be friends?" ??

You'd either get ignored, called a nutter or possibly a slap! Why should it be different on the net?

And no - we got no request. But then we have filters in place, based on our preferences, that stop requests from those we've no interest in.

An ice breaker? It's as subtle as using a lump hammer to knock in a drawing pin. It's running before you can walk. It's as likely to portray a good first impression as a "fancy a fuck?" Message.

Hence why, as you may have observed by the responses on here and countless other threads - it's unlikely to go down well and far more likely to get you blocked than welcomed with open arms.

A

Would you walk into a bar with a doughnut on your cock? Of course the net is different

What relevance does the content of photos have to friends requests or walking into pubs?

No point arguing with you anymore.

Seems the majority aren't receptive to random requests. It also seems most of those stating this have no problems getting meets, according to their veri's.

I've also made one observation over the years re friends lists!

Active, meeting profiles often hide their friends lists. Where unverified profiles show theirs (well, the first twenty anyway!) - if you click through the list you often find.........yep.........more unverified long term site members with visible friends lists!

If people want to see pretty, naked pics of folk on the internet - there's a gazillion sites out there that don't rely on someone clicking 'accept' to a random strangers request.

Just an observation.

A"

Fair enough but wrong. You're assuming all people do things for the same reason. And the point I was trying to make about the doughnut and the friend request is that no, we wouldnt do either in the real world, but this is not the real world is it. Thanks anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/08/14 17:54:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been told that its rude to send a friend request without asking if I could send a friend request ???? Isn't that just doing the same thing twice?

And this is just a website for goodness sake, its not like I knocked on her front door in the middle of the night and asked. But then again I have seen one or two people in the forums say its rude and maybe she is just following the

herd. Surely if you're rude to someone then they could be offended by it. Is anyone actually offended by a friend request??"

Its not rude to send one as its not rude to send a wink or a message. However its not rude for someone receiving any of them just to ignore them too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just been told that its rude to send a friend request without asking if I could send a friend request ???? Isn't that just doing the same thing twice?

And this is just a website for goodness sake, its not like I knocked on her front door in the middle of the night and asked. But then again I have seen one or two people in the forums say its rude and maybe she is just following the

herd. Surely if you're rude to someone then they could be offended by it. Is anyone actually offended by a friend request??

Its not rude to send one as its not rude to send a wink or a message. However its not rude for someone receiving any of them just to ignore them too."

My thoughts exactly, thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/08/14 18:58:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is rude. To just send a friends request with out. Messaging first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we don't see it as rude...just a bit pointless, very few people here that we can see accept them anyway...why waste your time and ours?

Either that, or we're going to wait until you're offline-have a look at you and then delete anyway...

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"we don't see it as rude...just a bit pointless, very few people here that we can see accept them anyway...why waste your time and ours?

Either that, or we're going to wait until you're offline-have a look at you and then delete anyway..."

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By *ts artMan
over a year ago

Londonderry

As has been said before a wink can be used to show interest

Hotlist can be used to remind one of profiles of interest, with private notes if site supporter

A message goes a long way to gauging mutual interest

Friends request / status is a step beyond all of these

And of course this is Not facebook

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