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worried maybe u guys might know

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know its not the place but someone out there might be able too help me on this one. my grandad aged 73 is a very active man eg going out in the car and out and about. in the past year he wont move from his chair from the moment he wakes up till he goes too sleep at night hes in perfect health con and not suffering from any illness at all. he use too be a trucker back in his day so he loved the out doors and not staying at home 24/7. if he was too go anywhere he wont go anywhere without me his granson or his daughter eg my anty. Is this a sign of something we should keep a close eye on?? Thanks everybody

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes it is. If a once active man suddenly becomes sedentary he needs to see a doctor.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes it is. If a once active man suddenly becomes sedentary he needs to see a doctor. "
he has he goes too his doctor once a week sometimes twice the doctor is saying hes mentally and health good they cant find anything wrong with him it strange too se him like that as he was never ever like this before even a walk in the park an feed the ducks and a sunday drive he wont do any of that anymore unless hes with myself an even at that its hard too get him up and about yano

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

has he had a shock or scare thats made him feel uneasy

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yes it is. If a once active man suddenly becomes sedentary he needs to see a doctor. he has he goes too his doctor once a week sometimes twice the doctor is saying hes mentally and health good they cant find anything wrong with him it strange too se him like that as he was never ever like this before even a walk in the park an feed the ducks and a sunday drive he wont do any of that anymore unless hes with myself an even at that its hard too get him up and about yano"

have you asked him why? I'm not a medical expert but if I was a GP and a patient came in and told me that they couldn't go anywhere without someone to accompany them having previously been independent I wouldn't be saying they were healthy, has he told the doctor what's going on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"has he had a shock or scare thats made him feel uneasy "
or a fall or similar that has knocked his confidence?

Book a double apt with a friendly G.P and then you all have more time to talk.

Sending well wishes x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"has he had a shock or scare thats made him feel uneasy "
not that i can think of otherthan my uncle haven a fall whil on holiday in spain 2 years ago h was ok he had 3 fits and left with a bump on his head but thats all i can think of that happened in the past year or 2

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

my mum lost her confidence after she had a heart attack and was afraid to go out for a while but with gentle encouragement she got over that. Do you think he's seen or heard something in the news or on the telly that's frightened him? 73 is very young to be unable to go out unaccompanied my father is 87 and able to go about on his own even though he's partially sighted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work with elderly clients and care for my man and it sounds like he may be suffering from a form of anxiety unfortunately if he's mentally healthy and a clever man it's very possible for him to hide this from the world. He's likely to be on his pride as he dosnt want to be viewed as an "old man" or have to endure some form of care assistance x talk to him and ask about anxiety and fears he may not have had before and reassure him that you won't do anything he dosnt want you to and as he has capacity no one can force him to accept help or care unless he is a major risk to himself or others x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes it is. If a once active man suddenly becomes sedentary he needs to see a doctor. he has he goes too his doctor once a week sometimes twice the doctor is saying hes mentally and health good they cant find anything wrong with him it strange too se him like that as he was never ever like this before even a walk in the park an feed the ducks and a sunday drive he wont do any of that anymore unless hes with myself an even at that its hard too get him up and about yano

have you asked him why? I'm not a medical expert but if I was a GP and a patient came in and told me that they couldn't go anywhere without someone to accompany them having previously been independent I wouldn't be saying they were healthy, has he told the doctor what's going on?"
when we bring him too doctors he tells him hes ok and this doctor is rely nice an calm an ha know him for years hes our family doctor so he knows us very very well i have tryed talking too him he just ah im great kid im in flying form when i asked him why is he not out an about he just says ahh im not arsed which is not him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im a carer and i would be very concerned (as you obviously are ) at any change especially one as obvious as this - im a huge believer in talking until you hit the nail on the head if youve been trying to chat round it just be direct and ask outright - tell him what you see and you are all worried about him - sometimes opposite tactics work -

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So far im getting a great feedback and i cant thank u enough guys hes like any other irish man he enjoys his few pints at the weekend and he always always says this too me kid your the future we fuk it u gotta fix it im heading down and not up and so fort nearly everytime after a few pints he tells me that and i dont know why cause his age group done a great job with the country

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

an elderly lady i care for has just had a recent loss of confidence - was like old age slapped her across the face as previously she was really 'with it' - after one chat and a few tears from her turned out she had received a bill for care and because she had extra hours listed and therefore higher cost ( needed some assistance for a short time to get into bed after hip op) she had convinced herself she was going to be short of money - going to lose her house - go into a home she wouldnt be happy in - going to be a burden on her family - you name it she had added it all to her list of worries - i look after people with dementia and if id not known her for so long and just met her i would have thought she was in mid stages of this - one or two phone calls and a family meeting put it all to right s and i got my old lady back - more grateful than ever - she laughs now but scared me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"an elderly lady i care for has just had a recent loss of confidence - was like old age slapped her across the face as previously she was really 'with it' - after one chat and a few tears from her turned out she had received a bill for care and because she had extra hours listed and therefore higher cost ( needed some assistance for a short time to get into bed after hip op) she had convinced herself she was going to be short of money - going to lose her house - go into a home she wouldnt be happy in - going to be a burden on her family - you name it she had added it all to her list of worries - i look after people with dementia and if id not known her for so long and just met her i would have thought she was in mid stages of this - one or two phone calls and a family meeting put it all to right s and i got my old lady back - more grateful than ever - she laughs now but scared me "

It's amazing what a bit of time and tlc can do for a person. So many people write older members of society off so quickly when they are so amazing and resilient. They never cease to amaze me x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"an elderly lady i care for has just had a recent loss of confidence - was like old age slapped her across the face as previously she was really 'with it' - after one chat and a few tears from her turned out she had received a bill for care and because she had extra hours listed and therefore higher cost ( needed some assistance for a short time to get into bed after hip op) she had convinced herself she was going to be short of money - going to lose her house - go into a home she wouldnt be happy in - going to be a burden on her family - you name it she had added it all to her list of worries - i look after people with dementia and if id not known her for so long and just met her i would have thought she was in mid stages of this - one or two phone calls and a family meeting put it all to right s and i got my old lady back - more grateful than ever - she laughs now but scared me "
we are trying everything in the book wit him but he has no worrys of money or a house as he lives with my ant and owns his own apartment which is being rented out too tenants but like even trying too get him too go to his wifes grave and normal family sunday day outs which he loved he just wont move from that chair from 8am too 10 at night even at the weekends he use too go out at 10pm and come home about 1pm now its 11 and hes in the bed by 12am its just strange the way he is now but yet we are all trying our up most best for him and all of us pinching in yano

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i hope that you get to the bottom of this soon - good he has people around that are concerned so many dont and its heartbreaking - i wont even get started on that one xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some right Timrwasters on tnight who look only,xx,

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i hope that you get to the bottom of this soon - good he has people around that are concerned so many dont and its heartbreaking - i wont even get started on that one xxxxx "
ah no this man would give u his last penny too make u happy thats the man he is he is a very warm hearted person sometimes too much but i really do hope we get too the bottom of it and get are owl grandad back the way use too be xx but thanks agin for your tips and advice iv taken them all on board an wrote them down too try narrow it down a bit

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Has any if his friends or family from his generation passed away recently? I ask this as have seen similar before in elderly family members. As once a person gets older ,stuff happens to make them question their own mortality and can sometimes put them in a different zone for a while.

Sounds like he has a lovely family around him.. Best wishes to all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"an elderly lady i care for has just had a recent loss of confidence - was like old age slapped her across the face as previously she was really 'with it' - after one chat and a few tears from her turned out she had received a bill for care and because she had extra hours listed and therefore higher cost ( needed some assistance for a short time to get into bed after hip op) she had convinced herself she was going to be short of money - going to lose her house - go into a home she wouldnt be happy in - going to be a burden on her family - you name it she had added it all to her list of worries - i look after people with dementia and if id not known her for so long and just met her i would have thought she was in mid stages of this - one or two phone calls and a family meeting put it all to right s and i got my old lady back - more grateful than ever - she laughs now but scared me

It's amazing what a bit of time and tlc can do for a person. So many people write older members of society off so quickly when they are so amazing and resilient. They never cease to amaze me x"

i love working with my oldies (and the rest ) they always have interesting stories to tell and often a lot less judgemental and more accepting of people than the younger generations

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" Has any if his friends or family from his generation passed away recently? I ask this as have seen similar before in elderly family members. As once a person gets older ,stuff happens to make them question their own mortality and can sometimes put them in a different zone for a while.

Sounds like he has a lovely family around him.. Best wishes to all "
no not there we are aware of as he would have told us the only thing that has came too mind which i forgot too say his son eg my uncle use too be around him alot and going too th bar and stuff with him for years they lived with each other since we where babys but he mived in with my anty as hes not able too walk up the steps to his apartment i think that might have something too do with it after all my ant has her family and husband and 4 kids and 2 grandchildren so shes a busy owl woman herself but she trys her very best and says too me like its impossible too have a family day with just herself as he wont leave her side they way he use too not that its bugging her or shes being selfish she loves mi.ding him and keeping well and stuff and its shock too her aswel as all of us

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia


" Has any if his friends or family from his generation passed away recently? I ask this as have seen similar before in elderly family members. As once a person gets older ,stuff happens to make them question their own mortality and can sometimes put them in a different zone for a while.

Sounds like he has a lovely family around him.. Best wishes to all no not there we are aware of as he would have told us the only thing that has came too mind which i forgot too say his son eg my uncle use too be around him alot and going too th bar and stuff with him for years they lived with each other since we where babys but he mived in with my anty as hes not able too walk up the steps to his apartment i think that might have something too do with it after all my ant has her family and husband and 4 kids and 2 grandchildren so shes a busy owl woman herself but she trys her very best and says too me like its impossible too have a family day with just herself as he wont leave her side they way he use too not that its bugging her or shes being selfish she loves mi.ding him and keeping well and stuff and its shock too her aswel as all of us "
aww really hope you get to the bottom of it all ... Is hard for us at times too , when all of a sudden you see some one who once so active etc ... slow right down ..

If he seems happy still , even in his new ways , then thats the main thing ... Good Luck with all

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