FabSwingers.com forum: Am I being petty??

By *inkyKentishCouple OP Couple
over a year ago

London

For obvious reasons a lot of people here like to be careful about who knows who they are. We have all heard from single guys posing as cpls who can't share pics 'due to a bad experience' (and probably some genuine cpls who can't understand why they don't get anywhere).

However, we both agree that if you are going to meet at some point you have to take a leap of faith and send face pics.

Every so often we get a mail from a cpl who value their privacy and therefore don't show any face pics saying something along the lines of 'liked your profile, can you send face pics'.

Am I just being petty thinking that if someone asks to see ours they should at least send theirs first?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I dont think youre being petty at all. Cautious but not petty. Im the same. Send me a pic first, if I like what I see ill send one back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's petty.

Who ever makes the first move should be willing to send face pics. Imo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it's petty.

Who ever makes the first move should be willing to send face pics. Imo

. Exactly how I feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree. my profile asks for a face pic with a message. Seems lately though, it gets ignored

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I've approached people, as well as beeen approached. In both cases I have my face pics on public, but understand those that keep face pics in private.

The ones I don't understand are the ones that don't have any or are unwilling to let me see the face pics: "oh my job" or "I have relatives on here" or "You might do something with them" (an excellent excuse, am hardly a NOTW journalist!).

Only last week a couple I had no prior contact with wanted to come to mine, but were unwilling to show their faces. Makes ya wonder how some people think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not petty at all. I think it's rude of someone to ask for face pictures but not send any. If a man contacts me and asks for a picture, I point out that he contacted me first and for him to send one. If I was to contact someone first I'd send mine.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 10/08/14 09:08:01]

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

[Removed by poster at 10/08/14 09:09:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No you're not, they messaged first they should attach pictures first. Simple

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I misread the OP, they asked & you refused... that ain't petty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is a case of you send me yours, and if I don't like yours, I don't need to send mine.

People like that I don't bother with.

If they really wanted to meet up, they would send one and not play games.

Her

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"I think it is a case of you send me yours, and if I don't like yours, I don't need to send mine.

People like that I don't bother with.

If they really wanted to meet up, they would send one and not play games.

Her"

This! Took the words out of my mouth. I fell for this once and promised never again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope - you aren't being petty whatsoever, single guys get accused on here of messing people around, I haven't messed a single person around but have been messed around by single ladies and couples, you make the first approach then you should be prepared to show your face - simples really !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I dont think youre being petty at all. Cautious but not petty. Im the same. Send me a pic first, if I like what I see ill send one back. "

Not at all petty, in fact very reasonable

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By *inkyKentishCouple OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"I think it is a case of you send me yours, and if I don't like yours, I don't need to send mine.

People like that I don't bother with.

If they really wanted to meet up, they would send one and not play games.

Her"

Lots of really good replies but I think you have really hit the nail on the head here. Thanks to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy I suffer this to. I get a of messages from women saying they liked my profile can I send a face photo.

Some of them get shitty when you ask them that it's only fair they send one first.

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By *inkyKentishCouple OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"As a single guy I suffer this to. I get a of messages from women saying they liked my profile can I send a face photo.

Some of them get shitty when you ask them that it's only fair they send one first. "

That is an interesting twist. When we look for guys we normally ask for a pic up front.

However, if I forgot and didn't, I might ask for one without sending ours. Does that make me a hypocrite?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single guy I suffer this to. I get a of messages from women saying they liked my profile can I send a face photo.

Some of them get shitty when you ask them that it's only fair they send one first.

That is an interesting twist. When we look for guys we normally ask for a pic up front.

However, if I forgot and didn't, I might ask for one without sending ours. Does that make me a hypocrite?

No not really. I don't actually mind sending a face photo first if they ask but sometimes it's nice to get one first instead.

It's often from people that state on their profile "says no face pics no chat".

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"As a single guy I suffer this to. I get a of messages from women saying they liked my profile can I send a face photo.

Some of them get shitty when you ask them that it's only fair they send one first.

That is an interesting twist. When we look for guys we normally ask for a pic up front.

However, if I forgot and didn't, I might ask for one without sending ours. Does that make me a hypocrite?

They key word is "forgot", on being asked "you have yours" then you realise and should be able to send and everyone moves on. Only actual hypocrites would take issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not petty the fact that you ain't showing pics and they want them well it there's first. or move on but its ur profile so ur rules. if they don't like the game they don't need to play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer chatting to someone before exchanging face pics, if I have no intention of meeting there is no need for the exchange. However, if I receive a message requesting a face pic I expect there to be one of the sender attached to the request - why should I expose mine if they are not willing to do the same?

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"I prefer chatting to someone before exchanging face pics, if I have no intention of meeting there is no need for the exchange. However, if I receive a message requesting a face pic I expect there to be one of the sender attached to the request - why should I expose mine if they are not willing to do the same? "

There's one couple's profile I saw that basically acknowledged they would ask for face pics, but don't feel obligated to show/give theirs, and that anyone that doesn't like it can move on. I just laughed out loud and clicked to the next profile, lol.

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By *aurenkaWoman
over a year ago

London

"There's one couple's profile I saw that basically acknowledged they would ask for face pics, but don't feel obligated to show/give theirs, and that anyone that doesn't like it can move on. I just laughed out loud and clicked to the next profile, lol."

What is wrong with it?

Couples/woman here are the most occupied, so they can have their rules.

Sure you can not accept them, but as their are clear, and you know them before sending pic, sounds honest to me.

To clarify: I always replay with my face pics, but I hate discussion "no, you show your face first". If guy have a problem with this I move on.

Also I find very funny and annoying question "why do you want my clear face pic"

Seriously?

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I think I explained wrong: I don't know the couple, I only saw their profile.

They did say they don't have/send their profile pictures (can't remember why, could have been "job related") but they do ask for face pics and admitted some would find it unfair, but that was not their concern. That's what I was trying to say.

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By *aurenkaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think I explained wrong: I don't know the couple, I only saw their profile.

Yep. I got you right.

It seem unfair, but my point was, as there are lot of ppl (man) interested in them, they can set their own rules.

And as far as they are clear in the beginning (not - asking for a pic, getting pic, then refusing send their own) their seem honest to me.

And OF COURSE you can not agreed for the rules, and pass them by!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"I think I explained wrong: I don't know the couple, I only saw their profile.

Yep. I got you right.

It seem unfair, but my point was, as there are lot of ppl (man) interested in them, they can set their own rules.

And as far as they are clear in the beginning (not - asking for a pic, getting pic, then refusing send their own) their seem honest to me.

And OF COURSE you can not agreed for the rules, and pass them by!"

Oh trust me, I did - would you carry on with someone that wanted to meet you refused to make a face pic of themselves available "as a rule"?

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By *aurenkaWoman
over a year ago

London

Oh trust me, I did - would you carry on with someone that wanted to meet you refused to make a face pic of themselves available "as a rule"?"

I wouldn't met anyone who refuse ro send face pic.

Face is important!

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By *utumnWoman
over a year ago

leeds

"No it's not petty at all. I think it's rude of someone to ask for face pictures but not send any. If a man contacts me and asks for a picture, I point out that he contacted me first and for him to send one. If I was to contact someone first I'd send mine. "

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

If someone is serious about meeting - I'd expect them to send their face pics with their message, especially if they are not well verified.

If I am mailing then I'd attach my face pics. I am the one interested, so they would have to know what I look like before we get into any chatter about arranging dates etc

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Oh trust me, I did - would you carry on with someone that wanted to meet you refused to make a face pic of themselves available "as a rule"?

I wouldn't met anyone who refuse ro send face pic.

Face is important!"

That's my point

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By *asyukMan
over a year ago

West London

If you contact someone and expect to see a face pic of them it would be appropriate to send yours first and vice versa.

However I would expect a face pic in reply even if it wasn't going any further...unless you recognise them of course!

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

Id say its common courtesy if you are mailing with a _iew to a meet, you attach a facepic so the person you contacted can see who is contacting them, you wouldnt walk up to introduce yourself to someone with a bag over your head would you?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I send face pics with a message if somebody messaged me first asking for one but hadnt sent one it would be a no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single guy I suffer this to. I get a of messages from women saying they liked my profile can I send a face photo.

Some of them get shitty when you ask them that it's only fair they send one first.

That is an interesting twist. When we look for guys we normally ask for a pic up front.

However, if I forgot and didn't, I might ask for one without sending ours. Does that make me a hypocrite?

Yes

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By *qua vitaeWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

The person who asks first should send theirs first.

On my couple profile, we were asked for ours without them sending theirs. Thinking it was going somewhere, we sent them. They said thank you for our fab pictures and will be in touch. We never heard from again, nor were their face pictures sent. Now, we hold off until we are ready.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For obvious reasons a lot of people here like to be careful about who knows who they are. We have all heard from single guys posing as cpls who can't share pics 'due to a bad experience' (and probably some genuine cpls who can't understand why they don't get anywhere).

However, we both agree that if you are going to meet at some point you have to take a leap of faith and send face pics.

Every so often we get a mail from a cpl who value their privacy and therefore don't show any face pics saying something along the lines of 'liked your profile, can you send face pics'.

Am I just being petty thinking that if someone asks to see ours they should at least send theirs first?"

I have had the same were a couple or even a single woman wants me to send a face pic, so i do and when i ask for one back they are like i can't because of my occupation.

When you mention, how am i supposed to know if i am attracted to you they say just have to have faith, well you should of just had faith when you asked me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree I have face pics in pvt on my profile. So many times I get asked for a face pic which I send but then do not receive one back jor sometimes even a message such as sorry not interested for me its just rude.

if im the one asking for a face pic I send mine in the request messag.

Each to their own I suppose but just makes me frustrated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had face pics sent to us randomly then are expected to return ours....see the point of exchanges but when one comes through unasked for why should we be obligated to send ours? Also couple profiles with no pics of the male bugs us.....fair enough if your only looking for another guy to join you but can't figure why if your looking to meet a couple there would be no pics of the male.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"I have had the same were a couple or even a single woman wants me to send a face pic, so i do and when i ask for one back they are like i can't because of my occupation.

When you mention, how am i supposed to know if i am attracted to you they say just have to have faith, well you should of just had faith when you asked me

Didn't you know? You're a single guy: the concept of "having faith" only applies to you, not the other way around.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Your rules, face pics, no face pics? it's your choice. Who cares what others think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are both very weary of pic collectors as well as bumping into people we may be acquainted with.

So, we usually ask a few questions around areas of work, field and location, as well as any particular hobbies. If we are all happy to continue messaging, then we send pics and we always let the senders know what we think.

This approach has worked well for us. We would never attach a pic with the first message and don't expect that either from couple or ladies. Men seem to send pics at will.??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had the same were a couple or even a single woman wants me to send a face pic, so i do and when i ask for one back they are like i can't because of my occupation.

When you mention, how am i supposed to know if i am attracted to you they say just have to have faith, well you should of just had faith when you asked me

Didn't you know? You're a single guy: the concept of "having faith" only applies to you, not the other way around.

I know tell me about it, if a guy did that he would be instantly blocked lol

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By *ifferent69Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

No your quite correct....

Dissapointing to. hear of single guys posing as couples.....

Then us single guys do tend to get a rough ride..

Not that I agree to this practice.

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