FabSwingers.com forum: Spotting the signs

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all I started a new job 3 months ago. Im working with a woman and we both are the only ones who stay late.

I know shes going caravanning and camping a fair bit with big groups of people and attends at friends hot tub gatherings.

I didnt think too much into it but the last fortnight she has gotten quite forward and flirty.

She shown me her thighs but very high up by lifting her skirt she said her leg was aching after the gym. She was biking home the other day and she had to put some waterproofs on and she just the desk next to me dropped her skirt and put her leggins on there is a lady rest room feet away to change.

Then tonight she mentioned how her top was cool in summer in the office and pulled it down half way and move her tits in front of me.

Now ive seen flirting before in a office but with the thoughts of her been a swinger and her been so forward I really think she might be?

Whats does anyone else reckon?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Work n play don't mix. Just leave well alone, it'll end in lawsuits or tears or the dole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know im trying to be naive but shes making it so obviously really lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know im trying to be naive but shes making it so obviously really lol"

Be professional and keep work and play separate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I thought she was just winding me up a bit at first but i think its more than that.

Plus she has a long term partner too.

Im not sure what she might do or say next now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know im trying to be naive but shes making it so obviously really lol

Be professional and keep work and play separate. "

wimen can play with ur mind without them realising.... what can come naturally for some can mess wi ur mind

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yeh true but there's been flirty and then whats shes doing lol.

shes has also said a few other suggestive things but its the actions in the last week or so which seem to suggests shes after more

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

"yeh true but there's been flirty and then whats shes doing lol.

shes has also said a few other suggestive things but its the actions in the last week or so which seem to suggests shes after more "

Heading for a lot of trouble. Her behaviour is out of line and is bordering on sexual harassment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or just harmless banter

my good lady is the best\worst at it lol and men have well tried and

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep us all updated, this is better than corrie. She wants you to want her, attention seeker, bet thats all she wants tho, call her bluff tommorow. Drop your trousers an say ' can you see a spot on my bum? Do you want a closer look in the stationary cupboard?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeez people on here can be such prudes

I say take what she's doing to you and do it back to her. Take a change of trousers and wear some pants like in your avatar... say you've gotta change trousers for some reason and just do it in front of her. Just have some fun with it... don't get too serious and don't get anywhere near anything that might seem harassing. Get a fake tattoo done right near your cock (or perhaps you have a real one somewhere)... ask her if she'd like to see it and just pull your pants down enough to show it and a little bit more

lol See what she does... how she reacts

If she does it first... then it can't be harassment if you merely follow suit imo. Maybe others will disagree?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

dont get me wrong if I didnt work with her id be interested but I did think is she winding me up or just teasing.

Im not that shy im was thinking of caring her bluff but I I think she might take me up on the offer. She even joked to her partner on the phone when he rang one evening that she was with her bit on the side meaning me lol

I dunno she could be the office flirt but iam thinking shes a swinger to be honest.

Not many would joke to there partner on the phone shes with her bit on the side lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

well im like that really im not taking it too serious in one way but shes is been very suggestive.

She even joked about coming around to my flat lol

Its exciting in a way but the quiet life can be nice too lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would this behaviour be acceptable if it was you being so suggestive and flashing your bits? Watch yourself here as this sounds a bit of a game to her that could land you in shit if you give as good as she is

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yeh I know what you mean, I've just been polite and laughed it off really.

will see how it goes lol

well least its not been a dull few weeks at work lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yeh true but there's been flirty and then whats shes doing lol.

shes has also said a few other suggestive things but its the actions in the last week or so which seem to suggests shes after more

Heading for a lot of trouble. Her behaviour is out of line and is bordering on sexual harassment. "

I'm sorry I know I shouldn't... but I couldn't help laughing at that. Sexual harassment?!?!

Are you kidding? Most men would jump at the chance of working for a female boss who jiggles their tits in their face every day

If that's sexual harassment sign me up today! Lol

(smallprint: of course I'm not belittling the problem of men sexually harassing women... I'm just saying that men probably aren't as concerned about the issue when it's women being sexual with them... that is unless it's extreme harassment like the movie 'disclosure' lol)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

shes isnt my boss just a fellow office worker.

We get on really well and have a giggle so not just about the suggestive things.

Come to think of it she has done things like touch my arm and shoulders a few times when passing.

ITs exciting but with been in the work place could be dodgy and like some have said as a man you have to be carefull

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"shes isnt my boss just a fellow office worker.

We get on really well and have a giggle so not just about the suggestive things.

Come to think of it she has done things like touch my arm and shoulders a few times when passing.

ITs exciting but with been in the work place could be dodgy and like some have said as a man you have to be carefull"
what a dirty mix touching your shoulders

Her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

its the rest see above im worried about lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!!!"
hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess what people are getting at here is that she might be reeling you in to frame you for sexual harassment when you start feeling comfortable enough with her to do the same as she's doing with you. Wow that's cynical.

Ok maybe I'm some naive hippy dippy here... I'll put my hands up I probably am

... but that's some twisted Machiavellian shit right there. Do women really think that way?

That's just sick. Can you even fire such a woman or will she sue you for unfair dismissal? I know if I ever discovered that any one working for me was deliberately entrapping other employees I'd want to get rid of them asap

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By *lipperyWhenWet!Couple
over a year ago

Rochester

If you think she's a swinger, suggest a threesum and see what the reaction is.

If she's up for it, you won't have so much to worry about either!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!!!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

to be honest it would be easier if I knew she was a swinger as silly as that sounds.

oh well im not worried really ill see how it goes least the work day isnt too dull lol

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

"Would this behaviour be acceptable if it was you being so suggestive and flashing your bits? Watch yourself here as this sounds a bit of a game to her that could land you in shit if you give as good as she is

This.

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

"yeh true but there's been flirty and then whats shes doing lol.

shes has also said a few other suggestive things but its the actions in the last week or so which seem to suggests shes after more

Heading for a lot of trouble. Her behaviour is out of line and is bordering on sexual harassment.

I'm sorry I know I shouldn't... but I couldn't help laughing at that. Sexual harassment?!?!

Are you kidding? Most men would jump at the chance of working for a female boss who jiggles their tits in their face every day

If that's sexual harassment sign me up today! Lol

That's naive to say the least. I worked as a full time union rep and saw the repercussions of just the type of behaviour outlined by the OP. Men can be and are subjected to behaviour which is questionable/unreasonable. The way she is behaving is not appropriate for the work place. Definitely the case that if a man behaved this way to female colleagues, there would be an uproar. It's not acceptable either way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

read about things like this in mags - then you think with your dick one day and she turns it around and youre in deep doodoo - steer clear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jeez people on here can be such prudes

lol See what she does... how she reacts

If she does it first... then it can't be harassment if you merely follow suit imo. Maybe others will disagree?"

Seriously?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep work as work and don't take the bait, she will bore of it and settle down.

All other routes are heading to a dangerous place, leave well alone.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

"It's a trap!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her you'r gay and how offensive you find her sexual displays. Tell her to cease and desist or you will report the matter to HR. Women should not be allowed to get away with this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a prick tease. Leave well alone. Keep a log of all her actions incase she tries to stitch you up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you enjoying it or do you find it uncomfortable ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not check to see if she has a profile on here first. Might answer a question or two and change the traffic lights to green for go!

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Just mention fab or that you have an interesting lifestyle.

If she asks for more...tell her.

Then if she is of the same mindset then you will be able to talk more freely.

Say you would love to play but work and play are not great bedmates.

Who knows...she may invite you to one of those hot tub parties just to watch you fuck her friends.

Hell, if she plays, ffuck her too. Its not like she can claim harrasment if you have her pic in a mmmf

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not too worried by it to be honest well not until I come on here lol. Like you all say its awkward with been at work.

Shes not been pushy at such just lots of hints lol

I've had a look round on here not real clues shes got a profile lol.

Oh well will see what develops

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

Christmas party season could be dangerous.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I'm not too worried by it to be honest well not until I come on here lol. Like you all say its awkward with been at work.

Shes not been pushy at such just lots of hints lol

I've had a look round on here not real clues shes got a profile lol.

Oh well will see what develops "

If you are happy with her behaviour at the mo then fine, but just ne aware if you let it go, it might get worse, and her partner might get involved. And I don't mean in a MMF way!

Everyone laughs and jokes about sexual harassment, but its not a joke when it means people losing their jobs. Even if you choose to get involve and your work find out one or both of you are liable to get moved.

There have been a lot of these posts where people at work are being given signals. I go to work to work! I come on here to get meets. Not really the best idea to let it cross over in my opinion, but people do what they want to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im not encouraging it in any way and I'm the same I goto work to work. The only other thing is in the company im one of the few single guys so maybe shes enjoying a flirt knowing this.

She did even mention jokingly that a friend of hers went camping with swingers, lol

Oh well I wont do anything silly just one of them things I guess, im nearly 40 im hardly a shrinking violet lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you both work late together, why not ask her out for a quick drink afterwards one evening.

After a chat and a relaxed drink, if she's as naturally flirty as you say, you shouldn't have much trouble turning the conversation to one of a sexual context. Then just ask her if she's ever tried swinging, if she says no, and asks if you have, you can always say no, just a friend suggested it.

Then professionalism is maintained. If she does admit to swinging, you might have a new swinging buddy, if she does actually fancy you :P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll confess this thread has got me in a twist. I can't help but feel most of the people who've responded negatively are markedly cynical. They are, after all, suggesting this woman is out to trap and effectively blackmail this guy... and make it sound like such things are common place. I sincerely doubt that most people are this sick and twisted.

Then there's this whole issue of sexual harassment. There's this ideas that if it's sexual it's harassment. I believe harassment of any kind in the work place is a potential firing offence... and that includes entrapment. Entrapment, imo, is worse than harassment as it suggests a truly sick and scheming mind; a blackmailer.

Harassment is the problem here, not sexuality in the work place. This woman is coming onto this guy. Is she harassing him? Lets ask him shall we? I'm guessing he'd say no... he's loving it. That's why it's nowhere near being sexual harassment... because she's not actually harassing him. If he does the same in return and she likes it is that harassment? No. Harassment is harassment.

If someone touches you on the shoulder and you feel that's sexual harassment... then it pretty much is as far as most company policies go. However if someone asks you to fuck them in return for some work related bonus and you like that... then even though on paper it reads like classic sexual harassment... it isn't.

I sense that women's radars are much much much much more sensitized to anything remotely sexual in the work place and are quick to report it as harassment, regardless of whether they really felt harassed by it or not. Meanwhile, as I suggested in an earlier post, I would suspect that most men would welcome any kind of sexuality in the work place and would only really report it when it truly became abusive. Indeed they may even allow a little abusiveness just because there's a small aspect of enjoyment in it... so I suspect that most men would have a far higher tolerance of sexuality in the work place than women. The idea that they are both the same is wrong imo. It might sound high minded and just... but I can't imagine it actually plays out that way in reality.

Sexuality in the work place should be actively promoted and celebrated. Harassment should be dealt with seriously, quickly, and harshly. Don't confuse the one with the other

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"yeh true but there's been flirty and then whats shes doing lol.

shes has also said a few other suggestive things but its the actions in the last week or so which seem to suggests shes after more

Heading for a lot of trouble. Her behaviour is out of line and is bordering on sexual harassment. "

Yup. Imagine if a man behaved like this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think everyones just over thinking and over complicating things here, if hes basically getting her pussy out and her tits out infront of you she is clearly interested in you or wants to sleep with you or is just a major cock tease and there only one way to find out either go for it or dont, i would rather at the end of my life say 'i wish i didnt do that' rather than say 'i wish i did do that' only got one life

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"i think everyones just over thinking and over complicating things here, if hes basically getting her pussy out and her tits out infront of you she is clearly interested in you or wants to sleep with you or is just a major cock tease and there only one way to find out either go for it or dont, i would rather at the end of my life say 'i wish i didnt do that' rather than say 'i wish i did do that' only got one life

I don't think this is the best advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think this is the best advice. "

everyone has there own opinion obviously, im very open minded this is just my view on it im a laid back and easy going guy but whats the worst that can happen if you offer to take her out? she says no, not the end of the world is it

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I don't think this is the best advice.

And what if she doesn't want him to take her out? Makes working with her very awkward after that, particularly if she's attached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think this is the best advice.

And what if she doesn't want him to take her out? Makes working with her very awkward after that, particularly if she's attached. "

like i said im very open minded and laid back it wouldnt be awkward for me, im pretty sure alot of girls or lads have asked people out before for a drink or something and been declined and carried on being friends if you ask someone to go for a drink it could mean as friends or as a little date so its left open for the girl to decide how to take it, people shouldnt worry over small things like this and just be more confident

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have thought if I had done what she had done iit's a different ball game bit let's face it rightly or wrongly women do get away with more in the work place I've seen it before.

I'm flattered and she is attractive but at work is not a good thing if she does give a clear iindication of interest I might polite say I'm flattered but at work not good idea plus she isn't single.

anything for a quiet life lol

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By *offee and Cream 2Couple (MM)
over a year ago

Loughborough

The moment you touch her......

or make a move on her.......

You will see her change instantly like the flick of a switch!

All of a sudden she wil be the "innocent little girl" and you will be hauled up on a disciplinary so fast you wont know what hit you.

Then you will be suspended before being dismissed, and very likely unable to work in the industry again.

I have seen it happen on a couple of occasions over the years.

L E A V E W E L L AL O N E !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have thought if I had done what she had done iit's a different ball game bit let's face it rightly or wrongly women do get away with more in the work place I've seen it before.

I'm flattered and she is attractive but at work is not a good thing if she does give a clear iindication of interest I might polite say I'm flattered but at work not good idea plus she isn't single.

anything for a quiet life lol"

ahh abit different then the post was to long for me to read all the comments to get the full story so i just posted my thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just wanted to bump this thread on behalf of Boomerboom as, if you check out my thread on Sex, Work & Equality... it now seems that the general advice is that this woman probably isn't manipulating you and trying to get you fired. Instead she's probably innocently flirting with you and may even fancy getting up to some fun with you. So basically Boomer... you can ignore most of the advice on this thread because the advice on the other thread runs counter to it

As I thought... women simply aren't that cynical and manipulative.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was once asked in an interview what are my views on sexual harassment in the workplace, I told them I never work anywhere without it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and a mate once had a laugh when we worked in the states. Our company had us attend a workshop about political correctness and not being insulting in the work place, I think harassment was included in that. My friend piped up "what if insulting people is part of our culture? ... for example, in England I call my mate here a tosser" to which I responded "yeah and I call him a knob"

The person in charge was utterly flummoxed because we we're British and they didn't know if they'd be discriminating against us by what they said in response. I think they just replied dryly "Errr yeah guys that wouldn't be appropriate in this setting"

I hasten to add my mate instigated this comment but I found it so hilarious I just had to play along lol

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"yeh true but there's been flirty and then whats shes doing lol.

shes has also said a few other suggestive things but its the actions in the last week or so which seem to suggests shes after more

Heading for a lot of trouble. Her behaviour is out of line and is bordering on sexual harassment. "

I was about to say the same thing. If the genders were reversed in this situation, guess what our answers would be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yeh true but there's been flirty and then whats shes doing lol.

shes has also said a few other suggestive things but its the actions in the last week or so which seem to suggests shes after more

Heading for a lot of trouble. Her behaviour is out of line and is bordering on sexual harassment.

I was about to say the same thing. If the genders were reversed in this situation, guess what our answers would be?"

It's not sexual harassment because Boomer doesn't feel harassed. It's not what the person does... it's how the person they're doing it to feels that defines sexual harassment. I'm guessing she could go a darn site further and Boomer still wouldn't feel harassed lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My OH is a terrible flirt she does it constantly without even realising it. Now nothing as overly sexual with strangers but once she's friends with them she will go with the flow. This doesn't mean she wants to sleep with them it's just her natural character. So be careful it could be she is a harmless flirt who doesn't want anything sexual, it could be she is after a bit on the side this is dangerous as when husband finds out could go horribly wrong. Or she is a swinger if so I'm sure it will come out in time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

a new post to my thread lol

yeh i think your right luckily I've been on holiday from work all this week so maybe things cool off.

Im still not sure what's shes playing at to be honest it would be best if shes a swinger really lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could always hint that you had some sort of fun during your holiday be coy see if she takes the bait but don't say anything sexual unless she asks the direct question

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Ask her on Monday if she had a fab weekend or if she asks you say 'fab'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice is to stay away and report her conduct. She changed clothes in front of you and that is inappropriate in any context. As is adjusting her boobs and pulling her top half way down. She wouldn't stand for that from a man, I'm betting, and shouldn't be doing it herself. And yes, she may be all for fun with you until her partner finds out and she tells him it was all you in order to save her own ass. And then you lose your job. I've seen that happen to.

I've been sexually harassed at work, genuinely so and the tribunal upheld that. It's wrong no matter the gender of who is coming from. And it doesn't have to come from a boss, either.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeh as before some good points I wont be doing anything about it, ill be polite but staying well clear.

I suppose if she was a swinger it might be easier but with been a work colleague got to be very unwise.

Don't worry I'll be smart no thinking with my cock lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My advice is to stay away and report her conduct. She changed clothes in front of you and that is inappropriate in any context. As is adjusting her boobs and pulling her top half way down. She wouldn't stand for that from a man, I'm betting, and shouldn't be doing it herself. And yes, she may be all for fun with you until her partner finds out and she tells him it was all you in order to save her own ass. And then you lose your job. I've seen that happen to.

I've been sexually harassed at work, genuinely so and the tribunal upheld that. It's wrong no matter the gender of who is coming from. And it doesn't have to come from a boss, either. "

I am sorry to hear you have had to endure such harassment at work

However, the current legal definition of sexual harassment, to my knowledge, is anything which the person being harassed believes is harassing them. It is not linked to any specific range of actions, whether that be taking clothes off or wobbling boobs or whatever. Therefore this case hinges upon whether Boomer feels harassed or not. He does not. Therefore it is nowhere near to being sexual harassment.

It may be inappropriate. But if it's inappropriate yet Boomer likes it he's unlikely to feel the need to report it.

As for whether she is likely to turn on him and cause him to lose his job, may I suggest this is a somewhat sexist view of how women act at work. On a separate thread from this a lot of women conveyed the opinion that women should not be caricatured as being so manipulative within a work setting. I agree with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with flirting, go further and see how hard it is prove a sexual harrasment case is to beat when she is pissed off with you.

It happened to a mate, all flirty, had sex, he turned her down for something next thing sexual harrasment case.

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