FabSwingers.com forum: My wife wants me to relax & let her have more fun. Help please.

By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

My wife would really like an orgy/gangbang & or bukake & it's not something I'm 100% comfortable with. I get heaps of pleasure watching her being pleasured & pleasuring other women, when it comes to the same with the guys I'm not hugely turned on. She says this is not normal (in the swinging world at least). I am also very protective of her & don't like men to be too rough, for this reason I need to be there to watch & take control if needs be, even if I'm not partaking.

Our swinging experiences to date have mostly been in clubs or dogging & the biggest group we've had is 3 couples, where I've had fun with the ladies.

I know a few local people who could help me arrange, however would prefer a spontaneous meet away from home.

I feel selfish for not giving her more freedom to play & act out her fantasies.

Should I bite the bullet knowing I probably won't enjoy it loads?

Put yourself in my position, we have talked about this & she knows I'm posting this but we keep hitting a brick wall. Your thoughts please. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...so is this a case of her being ok with you and other women but you don't want her with other men?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You mention that you're not turned on when she is with men- perhaps you shouldn't be looking at it as what turns YOU on but rather what she enjoys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You seem selfish and controlling to me

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By *ex-a-frolics OP Couple
over a year ago

Brizzle

"...so is this a case of her being ok with you and other women but you don't want her with other men?

She has had plenty of men singly & as long as they are nice & respectful I'm ok with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your uncomfortable with the idea then dont do it, Its supposed to be about mutual enjoyment

Man up and tell her how its gonna be,

Marjorie gimp

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

If your not both happy for this or any other activity don,t do it, your wife should realise you not happy and should respect that. Maybe away round it would be to have a couple of 3 sums and maybe a mmmf 4 sum before a full on gangbang

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand you being protective, you seem more on if woman are about that's fine, is this for your pleasure?

I can also understand you wanting to be with her,but if these are her fantasies you both need to talk about this properly or quit while your ahead, as you may end up having problems between you.

I love woman, but if that's all it would be it wouldn't be fair.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So it's a case of you not liking watching her. Then she should respect that and not expect you to

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I firmly believe that unless both people are happy with what you're going to do you shouldn't do it. This isn't like sharing a packet of biscuits equally, sex, desire and relationships aren't that easy.

None of us can answer this only discussion with your wife can bring resolution. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I firmly believe that unless both people are happy with what you're going to do you shouldn't do it. This isn't like sharing a packet of biscuits equally, sex, desire and relationships aren't that easy.

None of us can answer this only discussion with your wife can bring resolution. Good luck."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None of us can answer this only discussion with your wife can bring resolution. Good luck."

I agree with this 100%. The one rule we have...if one of us isn't happy at ANY stage, it doesn't happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None of us can answer this only discussion with your wife can bring resolution. Good luck.

I agree with this 100%. The one rule we have...if one of us isn't happy at ANY stage, it doesn't happen. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you both don't like it, then it's disrespectful, end of really - that's my thoughts on it? Sorry to be blunt, but if I had a partner who didn't enjoy anal and I was just trying it or pushing for it all the time, then I'd be acting selfish? If she has fantasies and you don't feel comfortable, sure if she's desperate to go through with it then she's willing to risk losing you?

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By * Busty HotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

None of us can answer this only discussion with your wife can bring resolution. Good luck.

I agree with this 100%. The one rule we have...if one of us isn't happy at ANY stage, it doesn't happen.

You both need to talk about this but swinging is supposed to be fun for you both. If you have issues with certain situations and not others(& vice versa), then she needs to respect that and you need to work towards things together at a pace you're both happy with and where both parties have a full veto.

Do not take hits for the team, either of you, as it will only lead to strife and unhappiness for you both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None of us can answer this only discussion with your wife can bring resolution. Good luck."

If you aren't both completely happy with something then neither party should feel forced to just go along with it... You're not being controlling or selfish by saying you aren't happy with something as this is something that is meant to bring you both pleasure.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

None of us can answer this only discussion with your wife can bring resolution. Good luck.

Gets our vote too.

Bukakke/Gang bang is whole other world to a mfmf and variations of.

If either party is not 100% happy it shouldn't happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You seem selfish and controlling to me"

Bet u wouldn't say that if it was the the husband trying to get the wife to do something she wasn't sure about!!

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

None of us can answer this only discussion with your wife can bring resolution. Good luck.

I agree with this 100%. The one rule we have...if one of us isn't happy at ANY stage, it doesn't happen. "

Seems so obvious yet still seems to need saying....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's sauce for the Goose is sauce for the Gander ....

It's not all about you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's good to talk, lots better to understand and great to explore the mind. But be sure !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/11/14 21:27:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you both don't like it, then it's disrespectful, end of really - that's my thoughts on it? Sorry to be blunt, but if I had a partner who didn't enjoy anal and I was just trying it or pushing for it all the time, then I'd be acting selfish? If she has fantasies and you don't feel comfortable, sure if she's desperate to go through with it then she's willing to risk losing you? "

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By *punkloverCouple
over a year ago

hatfield

Just make sure you are both happy with what you both are doing as we have seen huge problems with issues that are not discussed, swinging won't cover up anything, just highlight them more

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"My wife would really like an orgy/gangbang & or bukake & it's not something I'm 100% comfortable with. I get heaps of pleasure watching her being pleasured & pleasuring other women, when it comes to the same with the guys I'm not hugely turned on. She says this is not normal (in the swinging world at least). I am also very protective of her & don't like men to be too rough, for this reason I need to be there to watch & take control if needs be, even if I'm not partaking.

Our swinging experiences to date have mostly been in clubs or dogging & the biggest group we've had is 3 couples, where I've had fun with the ladies.

I know a few local people who could help me arrange, however would prefer a spontaneous meet away from home.

I feel selfish for not giving her more freedom to play & act out her fantasies.

Should I bite the bullet knowing I probably won't enjoy it loads?

Put yourself in my position, we have talked about this & she knows I'm posting this but we keep hitting a brick wall. Your thoughts please. Thanks. "

Why are you even thinking of doing this when you are clearly not comfortable with it ? Your wife needs to respect your thoughts and that should be an end of the matter. For gods sake don't do it in the hope that it may turn out ok. That could do permanent damage to your relationship.

Incidentally, her comment about your thoughts being "not normal" is crass and entirely untrue. There is no "normal" - either in the real world or the swinging world.

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