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Is there a name for it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The definition of BDSM S&M SUB/DOMME (according to various online descriptions) is a form of consensual role play between two or more individuals, who use their experiences of pain and power to create sexual tension, pleasure, and release. ...

So is there a term for someone (like myself) who enjoys the BDSM,S&M S/D but not the pain or humiliation.

Recently received a couple of emails, one from a mistress who wants to cane my ass till its red raw...Ouch! and another from a sub who enjoys having needles put through her nips...I replied saying..."I'm not into pain but thanks anyway" I was told that my profile is misleading and should be corrected (was the pun intended?)

So...is there a category that sums up my interests? and if not, anyone got any ideas for one?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

your profile is a bit misleading as you say you are a switch, perhaps you should elaborate that you are not into pain/humiliation to save the confusion

having said that pphhhwwwaaaooorrrrr

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

the terms remain the same for all

you simply need to convey the fact that you have certain "limits"

for example a mistress can have a slave that worships her feet , and enjoys being humilliated by her , but there is no pain involved whatsoever

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Totally agree with Luton there, you need to ‘qualify’ your BDSM as it could mean anything.

I’ve seen in forums on other sites folks kicking off at each other because one says ‘that’s not BDSM’ and another says it is! People will always have preconceptions about labels and they will always vary. Just ask someone to define what a swinger is and some might say, having offered their definition, that ‘BDSM’ shouldn’t be on a swingers site!

If you spank someone with a feather duster because that’s their level or spank someone else with a cane because that is their level its still a spanking, there really isn’t any pain in either case as its both for pleasure

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"your profile is a bit misleading as you say you are a switch, perhaps you should elaborate that you are not into pain/humiliation to save the confusion

having said that pphhhwwwaaaooorrrrr "

Good point...a little clarification on my part should ease the "Needles through the nips" messages...I still think there should be a term/name for it though...if you had to pick a term/name...would you just call it BDSM/S&M (without the P/H) Or would you name it?

Ps.thanks for the "pphhhwwwaaaooorrrrr" pretty saucy yourself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile is not misleading to me, I know what you mean.

I have several subs and they're all different. I have one is a Dom with everyone else but me. The pain has to be controled: too much and he comes out of sub mode. He will come to my home for the clothes I want him to wear, or I meet him on the train and leave the bag beside him when I get up.

Another I take shopping to John Lewis and point out what clothes I want him in: the humiliation of doing that is a turn on for us both.

One likes to be verbally abused but no anal play.

My favourite was calling one out of a board meeting to drive to my office and wank for me, then send him on his way!

I could go on!

It's about knowing your limits.

As I only play with straight men still looking for two of my subs to play together for my amusement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like bdsm play but have no interest in needle play, toilet duties either, nor an ass so red raw that i cant sit down but very much enjoy a cat o nine tails, an incredible sensation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep there is a special term for what you are referring to:

Nurofen BDSM S&M SUB/DOMME

'For pleasure without the pain'

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"your profile is a bit misleading as you say you are a switch, perhaps you should elaborate that you are not into pain/humiliation to save the confusion

having said that pphhhwwwaaaooorrrrr

Good point...a little clarification on my part should ease the "Needles through the nips" messages...I still think there should be a term/name for it though...if you had to pick a term/name...would you just call it BDSM/S&M (without the P/H) Or would you name it?

Ps.thanks for the "pphhhwwwaaaooorrrrr" pretty saucy yourself x "

why thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Netty here, i'm no expert and im not even into it bu as a whole, but i thought BDSM was a collective term for Bondage, Domination and Sado-Masochism (if i spelt that right). i enjoy bondage a lot and can enjoy forcefulness/ domination from a very special guy. i often switch to being a little more dom with a woman. but i am not a masochist and am not into pain giving or recieving at all. people should not label themselves and just concentrate on having fun coz thats all i do.

Some people get confused with the fact i allow myself to be restrained but not be fully submissive i.e. not someones toy or possession and there for his/hers pleasure. i like being tied because i love the helplessness of being teased sexually, made to wait and being unable to escape from pleasure. i would only do bodage with someone i trust implicently .my body is my own and i with not subject myself to anything i dont want just for someone else gratification.

ok rant over pmsl

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By *onnoisseur100Man
over a year ago

Woking-ish


"Your profile is not misleading to me, I know what you mean.

I have several subs and they're all different. I have one is a Dom with everyone else but me. The pain has to be controled: too much and he comes out of sub mode. He will come to my home for the clothes I want him to wear, or I meet him on the train and leave the bag beside him when I get up.

Another I take shopping to John Lewis and point out what clothes I want him in: the humiliation of doing that is a turn on for us both.

One likes to be verbally abused but no anal play.

My favourite was calling one out of a board meeting to drive to my office and wank for me, then send him on his way!

I could go on!

It's about knowing your limits.

As I only play with straight men still looking for two of my subs to play together for my amusement. "

I occasional like being sub, but what do you mean about playing together? I consider myself straight, but.... there are things i will happily do with another male for the Lady! and only one or two i won't

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

its worth remembering that bondage does not only refer to ropes etc , but also refers to the fact a person can be in bondage by being a bonded slave

the bondage then refers only to the contract , or the fact the bonded person is registered on the slave register

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By *eprobatepairCouple
over a year ago

london

OP Think it's fair to say that you are into Sub/Dom play not BDSM.

A lot of people assume that BDSM automatically means pain play which it does not. If done correctly, pain can be incorporated with pleasure as the receptors are the same. But you build up to it slowly. Had a playmate in the past who was a professional Dominatrix, she said that everyone is different, but to truly be able to be dominant you first have to learn what it feels like to be submissive. Just her penn'orth worth.

There are lots of books on the subject but SM101 by Jay Wiseman or Sensual Magic by Patrick Califia are good starting points. There's also a website called Informedconsent.

You have your own limits and nobody is entitled to tell you that you are misleading people simply because theirs are different. There are LOTS of anoraks in BDSM,the sort of people that will tell you that a sub should use a lower case letter at the start of their name and a Dom an Upper Case one... piffle. What works for you is what works for you. Good luck in your journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your profile is not misleading to me, I know what you mean.

I have several subs and they're all different. I have one is a Dom with everyone else but me. The pain has to be controled: too much and he comes out of sub mode. He will come to my home for the clothes I want him to wear, or I meet him on the train and leave the bag beside him when I get up.

Another I take shopping to John Lewis and point out what clothes I want him in: the humiliation of doing that is a turn on for us both.

One likes to be verbally abused but no anal play.

My favourite was calling one out of a board meeting to drive to my office and wank for me, then send him on his way!

I could go on!

It's about knowing your limits.

As I only play with straight men still looking for two of my subs to play together for my amusement.

I occasional like being sub, but what do you mean about playing together? I consider myself straight, but.... there are things i will happily do with another male for the Lady! and only one or two i won't "

You've inadvertently answered your own question!

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