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struggling

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

still struggling to come to terms with best mates wifes death, any ideas to ease the pain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time. Everyone grieves in their own way at their own pace. There are no shortcuts I'm aware of.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

just think its not real like its a dream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Time. Everyone grieves in their own way at their own pace. There are no shortcuts I'm aware of."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

just find it so hard to come to terms with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It starts out like that.

Denial - "This isn't happening"

Anger - At anything, "Who moved my fucking pen!"

Bargaining - "If I'd done something different, maybe she'd still be here." Or "I wish I had the chance to say a proper goodbye."

Depression - "What's the point of it all?"

Acceptance - "I still think about her, and I'm still sad she's gone, but I can get on with my life."

You'll probably recognize these stages as you go through them. Your friend might go through them a lot slower or faster. I got stuck in anger for a very long time and the rest were nothing.

Be there for your friend. Losing a partner can be like losing a part of yourself.

When you're with someone a long time, you share responsibility of remembering things. One day, maybe a year from now, he'll be looking for the scissors or something that she would know, and he'll feel that loss as fresh as the day he lost her. So support him as a friend would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^^^^^^^^^ your words read so powerful

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Another one is the SARAH cycle

Shock

Anger

Regret

Acceptance

Happiness

And you'll find you can move from one stage to another and back. Could take a long time. One day you will fo to sleep and realize you haven't thought about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It starts out like that.

Denial - "This isn't happening"

Anger - At anything, "Who moved my fucking pen!"

Bargaining - "If I'd done something different, maybe she'd still be here." Or "I wish I had the chance to say a proper goodbye."

Depression - "What's the point of it all?"

Acceptance - "I still think about her, and I'm still sad she's gone, but I can get on with my life."

You'll probably recognize these stages as you go through them. Your friend might go through them a lot slower or faster. I got stuck in anger for a very long time and the rest were nothing.

Be there for your friend. Losing a partner can be like losing a part of yourself.

When you're with someone a long time, you share responsibility of remembering things. One day, maybe a year from now, he'll be looking for the scissors or something that she would know, and he'll feel that loss as fresh as the day he lost her. So support him as a friend would."

I still think my dad shouldn't have died and that is was 16 years ago. I have all the thoughts you have listed.

The pain will lessen for your friend and for you. the grief doesn't disappear but gets hidden away into a special place, at least mine has

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"It starts out like that.

Denial - "This isn't happening"

Anger - At anything, "Who moved my fucking pen!"

Bargaining - "If I'd done something different, maybe she'd still be here." Or "I wish I had the chance to say a proper goodbye."

Depression - "What's the point of it all?"

Acceptance - "I still think about her, and I'm still sad she's gone, but I can get on with my life."

You'll probably recognize these stages as you go through them. Your friend might go through them a lot slower or faster. I got stuck in anger for a very long time and the rest were nothing.

Be there for your friend. Losing a partner can be like losing a part of yourself.

When you're with someone a long time, you share responsibility of remembering things. One day, maybe a year from now, he'll be looking for the scissors or something that she would know, and he'll feel that loss as fresh as the day he lost her. So support him as a friend would."

This!

I was stuck on depression for years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"still struggling to come to terms with best mates wifes death, any ideas to ease the pain "

x this wont help but imagine how he feels x your worst pain wont be like his x keep busy x and be his friend x n listen to him x (hugs)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go and see a bereavement counsellor,they may be able to help

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