FabSwingers.com forum: manners

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not just you.

Lots of ignorant people on the site.

Oh and I know it's their privilege to do so etcetc, but in a lot of cases a thanks or no thanks would show them up as decent and educated.

Just saying like!

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By *izzy69Man
over a year ago

London

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me? "

It's not just you mate, I totally agree. But you have to understand there are differences here between women and men. Women can delete messages without so much as an explanation as a courtesy even if you satisfy every one of their criteria, they can demand a face photo but not have any on their own profile and they can demand "an interesting" or a "conversational" message but only give one sentence or even one word answers themselves.

Forget Tesco, best demonstration of supply and demand in the market place is right here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

Forget Tesco, best demonstration of supply and demand in the market place is right here. "

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me? "

Yes it's just you....

Some people will reply and others won't. We take a delete as not interested....concertrate on those who do reply rather than those who don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just joined and may be nervous. It's overwhelming when we just join. Lots of mail before we even get pictures up. Not all of the mail is nice either. Don't take it personally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

Yes it's just you....

Some people will reply and others won't. We take a delete as not interested....concertrate on those who do reply rather than those who don't.

Makes a lot more sense than bleating about manners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

Yes it's just you....

Some people will reply and others won't. We take a delete as not interested....concertrate on those who do reply rather than those who don't.

I think in the OP post he sent a welcome message, not a "can I meet you" message. Two different things and yes one is subjected to a straight delete. But the other one could have been met by a "thanks"

Any further PMs could be blocked if that's the way of some.

I was brought up with manners when appropriate, but guess I'm in the minority on here!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not just you.

Lots of ignorant people on the site.

Oh and I know it's their privilege to do so etcetc, but in a lot of cases a thanks or no thanks would show them up as decent and educated.

Just saying like!"

Jeez, you are lovely

most of the time a no thanks gets us abuse! Give us a break , can't please everybody!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not just you.

Lots of ignorant people on the site.

Oh and I know it's their privilege to do so etcetc, but in a lot of cases a thanks or no thanks would show them up as decent and educated.

Just saying like!

Jeez, you are lovely

most of the time a no thanks gets us abuse! Give us a break , can't please everybody!"

Abuse,or a,why not? What's wrong with me?

Site rules say,a no reply,is a not interested.

Besides,would you really want to meet someone you considered ill mannered ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She probably doesn't have time to reply to every individual message. If we did that it would take too much time up, I can only imagine what it's like for a single female.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

Yes it's just you....

Some people will reply and others won't. We take a delete as not interested....concertrate on those who do reply rather than those who don't.

Any further PMs could be blocked if that's the way of some.

I was brought up with manners when appropriate, but guess I'm in the minority on here!!"

I read that it was a welcome message...my point being SOME people delete any message where they are not interested in the sender.

We often get messages deleted but accept that's just how it is. Moaning about lack of manners isn't going to change it.....

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"No it's not just you.

Lots of ignorant people on the site.

Oh and I know it's their privilege to do so etcetc, but in a lot of cases a thanks or no thanks would show them up as decent and educated.

Just saying like!"

decent or educated???

When you get swamped with hundreds of messages on joining, deleting is not rude...

And the FAQs say its not rude to delete, just take it as a polite no thanks.

Its not ignorant, its time management. Even a minute of replying to each unsuitable message fairly takes up time.

would you rather a lady spent her chat time replying to folk shes not interested in than actually looking to meet...?

But then shes likely a timewaster for not immediately replying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me? "

It happens all the time, but then you've got to remember that I'm sure new ladies get absolutely swamped by messages before they've even had the chance to upload a picture. I guess that can be quite overwhelming so a "Delete All" just helps them get their bearings somewhat.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

Yes it's just you....

Some people will reply and others won't. We take a delete as not interested....concertrate on those who do reply rather than those who don't.

Any further PMs could be blocked if that's the way of some.

I was brought up with manners when appropriate, but guess I'm in the minority on here!!"

and let just say she has received a couple of hundred "welcome to the site" e-mails.... is she duty bound to reply to each and every one....

for example, do you personally ring up every single takeaway flyer that comes thru your door.... or personally say no thank you to each and every cold call you receive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me? "

Manners cost nothing! Sadly some people don't have them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The poor woman has probably been innundated with messages. When I first joined I got 500 messages within a few hours and that was without a picture up. That was before i found the filters and very quickly learned that you do not need to reply to all the messages. Its not rude!! Its in the faqs. If you understand that you may enjoy the site more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you rather have message saying fuck off? Dont worry about it just move on.

Deletion is a hint of not being interested just way things are on here.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

I always send a polite reply to any messages - but then we don't get hundreds of messages in the way single females say they do. If that were the case then I'd probably blanket delete too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone ignored you in a pub, would you create that way? You would ignore it, treat as your treated..move on.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are not enough hours in the day to reply to every single message I receive... Some people seem to forget that others have lives, jobs, kids etc and sometimes you get 10 mins on here to have a browse but not to sit and reply to 20 messages at a time... If I delete a message it means that the sender hasn't got enough on their profile, doesn't meet any of my interests or hasn't caught my attention in the message. It is what it is... It is not rude. It is rude to become cheeky or nasty or to rant about being ignored.. It will make others less likely to respond to you x

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Any further PMs could be blocked if that's the way of some.

I was brought up with manners when appropriate, but guess I'm in the minority on here!!"

Manners, maybe, but not modesty or empathy perhaps?? For some popular ladies it would be a full time job to 'be polite' to everyone who messages them on here, especially in the first month after arriving. And lets face it most 'Hi welcome to fabs' messages actually mean 'Hi, I want some kind of sexual contact with you'. Lets be honest now.

Sadly, as a female, after you third or fourth insulting comeback to a polite reply, and maybe your third of fourth hundred message saying 'Can I empty my balls over your face' or somesuch, you learn the accepted 'Fab etiquette', ergo:

Lack of reply to any initial message may be taken as thanks but no thanks on here, and does not constitute lack of manners, education, or anything else.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"I always send a polite reply to any messages - but then we don't get hundreds of messages in the way single females say they do. If that were the case then I'd probably blanket delete too."

I recently opened up my preferences to meet men again, and got over 300 messages, so as much as i wanted to be polite, anything that didn't jump out immediately got deleted - similar for any not close by me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always send a polite reply to any messages - but then we don't get hundreds of messages in the way single females say they do. If that were the case then I'd probably blanket delete too.

And there lies the problem. Out of the 300 messages you got there maybe about 10 that would be appropriate. You reply to the 290 others and get replies to them -why not me blah blah. If only the majority of single men read profiles instead of putting up threads like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose we don't get hundreds of PMs like you girls get to fully appreciate the full story.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well, thanks for all your points, yes I can see now that it's harder for women on here. She must have been swamped. Thanks all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any further PMs could be blocked if that's the way of some.

I was brought up with manners when appropriate, but guess I'm in the minority on here!!"

Perhaps you'd like a cup of tea and a slice of cake from the lovely lady while she's telling you to do one because she's not interested?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think what lots of people need to realise is that they are communicating with strangers, people who they have never met and that have zero interest in whether they will be offended or not of they don't reply.

If you think your self esteem will be affected by strangers ignoring you its probably best not to be on a site like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me? "

She has probably been completely overwhelmed with messages,as a new single female on the site she will have an overflowing inbox and won't be able to manage it,there are people that just look to see members joining and jump on them straight away as they want to be the first in there before anyone else,once she has settled down and workrd out how to use the site effectively she may take time to reply or she may just reply to those she has an interest in

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

When I look back to when I first joined I only lasted a few days due to the volume of messages I received and deleted my profile!

So you need to take that into consideration as well, it wont just be your message she received!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I always wonder wether those that message the new young ladies welcoming them to the site extend the same welcome to everyone else?

If not I suspect an ulterior motive and probably so do the people that receive the message

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By *randmrsminxyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"When I look back to when I first joined I only lasted a few days due to the volume of messages I received and deleted my profile!

So you need to take that into consideration as well, it wont just be your message she received!

Spot on . would say that most of the guys in here catchment area will have said hi , or sent the obligatory cock shot . So with out a catchy introduction its fare to say its deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is one of the most commonly raised issues and the answers given always include that the forum help states that not replying is not to be considered rude.

The same can be said of using the Block button.

If someone is not interested in the enquirer, there is no requirement to reply. Blocking just ensures that people who do not interest you stay off your radar.

It is not rude. It does not imply a lack of manners or education. It is life.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I always wonder wether those that message the new young ladies welcoming them to the site extend the same welcome to everyone else?

If not I suspect an ulterior motive and probably so do the people that receive the message

Yeah, where are my welcome messages?

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

I had been a swinger for years as a couple and even I was overwhelmed by the amount of mail I received when I rejoined as a single female. I had already set my filters and still got over 300 messages in the first couple of hours, it very nearly put me off and I admit I deleted the majority of them

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me? "

Fresh meat hunter hey? Checking the newbie list ready to pounce and hoping for a head start?

I doubt you are the only guy who adopts this strategy... in fact just imagine for a moment how many other similar messages flooded into her inbox.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me? "

What an absolute rotter she is. Block the ass off it mate, I wish you well in moving on with your virtual life

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I am not looking to meet men at the moment. My profile states this. People even get warned that this is the case with a Stop! Think message before mailing. Yet I still get 30+ unsolicited messages a day from single men who all think they may be the exception. Some messages do intrigue me enough to send a thanks but not at the moment back but the majority are text speak chancing your luck type messages. I used to reply to all of them but have found that inevitably leads to further messages. Imagine I was looking to meet; the number of messages would multiply exponentially.

A message that is polite, acknowledges that they have read my profile and aren't expecting a reply but just wanted to make themselves known on the other hand I will save if I like the profile and do the contacting myself when I'm able to meet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I'm a bloke and don't get anywhere near the same amount of messages that women and couples get,

But I treat people the way I would like to be treated.

If someone has send a polite message or question then i'll happily reply.

Any message to anyone that's rude should just be ignored or even reported.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I know I'm a bloke and don't get anywhere near the same amount of messages that women and couples get,

But I treat people the way I would like to be treated.

If someone has send a polite message or question then i'll happily reply.

Any message to anyone that's rude should just be ignored or even reported.

And what would you do if you had over 300? That's how many I had when I first joined, somehow, I don't think you would answer them all!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"No it's not just you.

Lots of ignorant people on the site.

Oh and I know it's their privilege to do so etcetc, but in a lot of cases a thanks or no thanks would show them up as decent and educated.

Just saying like!"

I have "will not reply if outwith what I'm looking for" and guess what? I don't! If anyone thinks that's ignorant and bad mannered...oh well, I'm that bothered!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me? "

Did you also welcome all the new couples and single males to the site? Just wondering...After all it's only polite isn't it?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

Yes it's just you....

Some people will reply and others won't. We take a delete as not interested....concertrate on those who do reply rather than those who don't.

Any further PMs could be blocked if that's the way of some.

I was brought up with manners when appropriate, but guess I'm in the minority on here!!"

When I joined within an hour I had over 150 messages. I was over 45, fat and a Domme. I answered the first 10 "welcome" messages. They replied asking inane questions.

Therefore I can imagine how overwhelmed a young newbie will be by the feeding frenzy. You join for rampant sex with like minded people. Who has time for small talk with people you are not interested in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

Did you also welcome all the new couples and single males to the site? Just wondering...After all it's only polite isn't it?"

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

Did you also welcome all the new couples and single males to the site? Just wondering...After all it's only polite isn't it?"

Like fuck he does!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

Did you also welcome all the new couples and single males to the site? Just wondering...After all it's only polite isn't it?

Like fuck he does!"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Just welcomed a young lady to the site, saying hello, and hoping she finds the site to her liking. Nothing. Deleted. Just a Thanks would of been nice. Is it just me?

Did you also welcome all the new couples and single males to the site? Just wondering...After all it's only polite isn't it?"

of course he did he's got manners

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By *ixen and RudolphCouple
over a year ago

LUTTERWORTH

"I know I'm a bloke and don't get anywhere near the same amount of messages that women and couples get,

But I treat people the way I would like to be treated.

If someone has send a polite message or question then i'll happily reply.

Any message to anyone that's rude should just be ignored or even reported.

As others have said single women get inundated with messages when they join. As a newbie single I got over 500 messages in 2 days. I ended up block deleting 300. Its impossible to answer every message even with a no thanks.

With filters in place it helps but that's something you learn after you join.

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