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Pissed off....grrr

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By *ratty_Damsel OP   Woman
over a year ago

London.

Right guys.

I need some advice on whether I am being unreasonable....

Am I feeling pretty pissed off by a particular guy who asked me out for dinner. I explained that I was unable to answer the question straight away as I needed to sort a babysitter out. I then saw that he had also put a request out for a meet for the time we would of been meeting if I can escape.

I am not pissed off per se, but if I was then to find out that I could escape for dinner with him after the hassle of arranging said sitter to then find out that he had already made different arrangements due to the public request, I would be seriously pissed off and rightly so.

He seems not to understand my reasoning for just saying no thanks now & that I am overeacting! Grrr.

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By *himanMan
over a year ago

chichester

Just v selfish of him but just move on n forget him x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To some people sex is sex be it with you or someone else,

They need their fix

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's bad form if you have said you will try and see what you can sort.

The very least he could do was wait until you either said yay or nay, then if he did advertise after that, well it's fair enough as you had first refusal

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By *ratty_Damsel OP   Woman
over a year ago

London.


"It's bad form if you have said you will try and see what you can sort.

The very least he could do was wait until you either said yay or nay, then if he did advertise after that, well it's fair enough as you had first refusal"

Yes I thought so too regardless of it being a swing site or not. Just plain bloody courtesy at the end of the day.

Well I feel more relieved now as I was starting to doubt my judgement if I was overeacting

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

yea I'd be a bit fed up I think. He's clearly comfortable with letting people down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder what he would've thought if you'd done this to him.

If he'd met all the requirements on your profile then he should think himself lucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also struggle to get babysitters it requires phoning in.a lot of favours so if id gone to the trouble of doing all that then he says "sorry had your chance love im meeting somrine else" or words to that effect. I would be mightly pissed off

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

how long did you leave him dangling on whilst sorting your arrangements out before you confirmed the meet ...men also have lives !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Console yourself as with that kind of attitude he is unlikely to get many meets.

Irrespective of the fact that this is a swinging site, you still have to have some levels of common decency or else people will just ignore you

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

why are people responding to meet requests and then expecting people to 'hang on' whilst they sort babysitters out ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"why are people responding to meet requests and then expecting people to 'hang on' whilst they sort babysitters out ?"

it seems to be a case of the meet has been posted after the op has been asked but before she can confirm babysitting arrangements

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get your babysitter then say I see you made alternative arrangements then go out with your friends. Or find a nice man to have a drink with

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"why are people responding to meet requests and then expecting people to 'hang on' whilst they sort babysitters out ?"

he asked her out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a prick!...id make arrangements to meet someone else...I guarantee he will be asking you questions about it!!

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By *ratty_Damsel OP   Woman
over a year ago

London.


"why are people responding to meet requests and then expecting people to 'hang on' whilst they sort babysitters out ?

it seems to be a case of the meet has been posted after the op has been asked but before she can confirm babysitting arrangements"

Correct!!! That is why I was pissed off. ]

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol


"

He seems not to understand my reasoning for just saying no thanks now & that I am overeacting! Grrr. "

i agree with him ...he asked you out ..its a simple yes or no ...but you seem to think its perfectly acceptable to ask him to suspend his life just incase you cab find a babysitter

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By *ratty_Damsel OP   Woman
over a year ago

London.


"how long did you leave him dangling on whilst sorting your arrangements out before you confirmed the meet ...men also have lives !"

Wow, I am sure loving your response!

I never 'kept him dangling' as you so nicely put it. I was merely honest with my home life difficulties and made it very clear from the word go as to what they were.

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By *ratty_Damsel OP   Woman
over a year ago

London.

Comprehension is a skill indeed lacking with some peeps, clearly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"how long did you leave him dangling on whilst sorting your arrangements out before you confirmed the meet ...men also have lives !

Wow, I am sure loving your response!

I never 'kept him dangling' as you so nicely put it. I was merely honest with my home life difficulties and made it very clear from the word go as to what they were. "

This is fair enough , but maybe he had a home life with the same difficulties ?

What if he asked you out on a night he was free , and as you couldn't give a definate yes , he was hedging his bets ?

We have to arrange sitters etc ... And if we have a night free , we try to be sure we will have a meet .

If we were told that it depends on whether a sitter can be found , we would do the same as him .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have been pissed off too. He should have at least said.well I need to know by such.a such because if you can't meet I'll put up a meet instead I mean it wouldn't of hurt him to wait a bit.go meet someone.else and have a great time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope think your well within the normal I used to have a fb who would see what she could do about her little one .

Sometimes she could get hours of play time others were a quickie on the sofa but never would I of gone looking on a day she had the chance of meeting me even if it was a bbend her over the sofa quickie

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By *edonistic needsWoman
over a year ago

sexton


"Comprehension is a skill indeed lacking with some peeps, clearly. "

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 29/06/14 08:46:38]

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Right guys.

I need some advice on whether I am being unreasonable....

Am I feeling pretty pissed off by a particular guy who asked me out for dinner. I explained that I was unable to answer the question straight away as I needed to sort a babysitter out. I then saw that he had also put a request out for a meet for the time we would of been meeting if I can escape.

I am not pissed off per se, but if I was then to find out that I could escape for dinner with him after the hassle of arranging said sitter to then find out that he had already made different arrangements due to the public request, I would be seriously pissed off and rightly so.

He seems not to understand my reasoning for just saying no thanks now & that I am overeacting! Grrr. "

What's the timeline? If you kept him hanging whilst you made your domestic arrangements, what do you expect, he has a life too. If he posted a meet within a minute of you saying you'll get back to him...hmmm...well...He still has a life: your meet criteria wasn't compatible.

It happens: you appear a tad needy.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"why are people responding to meet requests and then expecting people to 'hang on' whilst they sort babysitters out ?"

Not just me then! Single men are supposed to be grateful and hang around don't you know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

He seems not to understand my reasoning for just saying no thanks now & that I am overeacting! Grrr.

i agree with him ...he asked you out ..its a simple yes or no ...but you seem to think its perfectly acceptable to ask him to suspend his life just incase you cab find a babysitter "

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By *luezuluMan
over a year ago

Suffolk


"Right guys.

I need some advice on whether I am being unreasonable....

Am I feeling pretty pissed off by a particular guy who asked me out for dinner. I explained that I was unable to answer the question straight away as I needed to sort a babysitter out. I then saw that he had also put a request out for a meet for the time we would of been meeting if I can escape.

I am not pissed off per se, but if I was then to find out that I could escape for dinner with him after the hassle of arranging said sitter to then find out that he had already made different arrangements due to the public request, I would be seriously pissed off and rightly so.

He seems not to understand my reasoning for just saying no thanks now & that I am overeacting! Grrr. "
No not at all, arrange your sitter, then come out with me instead lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that's a big string you have attached to this meet, one that stretches until you cut it.

Give the guy some slack, after all, you may not be available for dinner lol

;)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

He seems not to understand my reasoning for just saying no thanks now & that I am overeacting! Grrr.

i agree with him ...he asked you out ..its a simple yes or no ...but you seem to think its perfectly acceptable to ask him to suspend his life just incase you cab find a babysitter "

Lovely attitude!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just jolly bad form....not something I would do for sure!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would piss me off too

Ive had a similar situation recently. I generally dont block so hes just been removed x he hasnt noticed x all from a 'genuine guy' whos status says 'ill be there

rant over

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

He should have given you a bit time, then if by that time you hadnt got sorted out, put a meet request up and looked elsewhere, if he did this, then you are over reacting, if he immediately put the request up and looked elsewhere then you have every right to feel annoyed, the blokes an idiot.

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By *iverpool LoverMan
over a year ago

liverpool


"Comprehension is a skill indeed lacking with some peeps, clearly. "

sorry but in your OP your first words are "right guys I need your opinion".

So when you get an opinion that you don't like hearing you get all defensive.

begs the question why you asked for peoples opinion in the first place or did you just assume everyone was going to agree?.

This too much info left out like how long did you leave him waiting to find if you could get a sitter etc.

just because a guy puts up a meet me notification doesnt not gaurentee him a meet especialy on here.

He might have had a one off free sat night and wanted to do somthing, he asked you out you said you would get back to him if you can get a sitter.

so he puts a meet me up incase you cant get one and gives him more that extra bit more time to find other arrangments (which for a guy on here can be really difficult).

So on the info I have I dont really blame him for posting a meet me....

theres nothing to say he would have responded to any imbox messages from women wantimg to meet him... until you said hey I cant get a sitter that way he has back up plans.

If you could get a sitter then he might just delete the meet me because you came tbrough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never come accross this problem.quite unlikely to as I plan in advance due babysitter I raid her diary lol but if I did I think I would let it go over me head and leave him a cheeky message 'oi are you getting a backup plan just incase, let me know if you find someone I will probably go to eureka's if im allowed out ;-p'

We all have lifes to work around so I see both sides of this situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He should have given you a bit time, then if by that time you hadnt got sorted out, put a meet request up and looked elsewhere, if he did this, then you are over reacting, if he immediately put the request up and looked elsewhere then you have every right to feel annoyed, the blokes an idiot."

Its so easy for males on this site eh, I can arrange meets in seconds, I don't need days or even weeks, you're correct what an idiot he must be lol

Dinner anybody!! Lmao

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By *iverpool LoverMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Sorry lots of misspelt and wrong words used in last post grrr

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Comprehension is a skill indeed lacking with some peeps, clearly.

sorry but in your OP your first words are "right guys I need your opinion".

So when you get an opinion that you don't like hearing you get all defensive.

begs the question why you asked for peoples opinion in the first place or did you just assume everyone was going to agree?.

This too much info left out like how long did you leave him waiting to find if you could get a sitter etc.

just because a guy puts up a meet me notification doesnt not gaurentee him a meet especialy on here.

He might have had a one off free sat night and wanted to do somthing, he asked you out you said you would get back to him if you can get a sitter.

so he puts a meet me up incase you cant get one and gives him more that extra bit more time to find other arrangments (which for a guy on here can be really difficult).

So on the info I have I dont really blame him for posting a meet me....

theres nothing to say he would have responded to any imbox messages from women wantimg to meet him... until you said hey I cant get a sitter that way he has back up plans.

If you could get a sitter then he might just delete the meet me because you came tbrough."

Some sensible points made here

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By *iverpool LoverMan
over a year ago

liverpool


"Right guys.

I need some advice on whether I am being unreasonable....

Am I feeling pretty pissed off by a particular guy who asked me out for dinner. I explained that I was unable to answer the question straight away as I needed to sort a babysitter out. I then saw that he had also put a request out for a meet for the time we would of been meeting if I can escape.

I am not pissed off per se, but if I was then to find out that I could escape for dinner with him after the hassle of arranging said sitter to then find out that he had already made different arrangements due to the public request, I would be seriously pissed off and rightly so.

He seems not to understand my reasoning for just saying no thanks now & that I am overeacting! Grrr. "

also your thread is titled "pisses off"

Your first paragraph says "im pretty pissed off"

Your second paragraph says " im not pissed off per se"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forget him, move on. His focus is on him not you, that's likely to lead to a lousy fuck.

Find a giver not a taker, someone interested in playing together not getting their rocks off.

Of course, if the chemistry is right the giver can always give in the way the receiver desires ... Dom, sub, whatever..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does make me wonder how his "back up plan" would feel? also whats the dick gonna do honestly say to tht woman if the OP said she had got a sitter "oh yeah sorry love this was just incase the woman i actually wanted to meet wasnt free" so then The OP Is good but the back up woman is only second best

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

When we were new on this site I thought that every time someone advertised a meet they were probably being successful. Perhaps some are, but it is clear that others are always putting up meets eg for a night they are going to a club, just in the hope that one or more people might respond.

It used to piss me off too when say a couple we had arranged to at least meet socially (with the chance of becoming intimate )were also putting up meets but shrug it off now.

In this case I empathise strongly with the way the OP felt but hope that the guy is sorry for that.

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"He should have given you a bit time, then if by that time you hadnt got sorted out, put a meet request up and looked elsewhere, if he did this, then you are over reacting, if he immediately put the request up and looked elsewhere then you have every right to feel annoyed, the blokes an idiot.

Its so easy for males on this site eh, I can arrange meets in seconds, I don't need days or even weeks, you're correct what an idiot he must be lol

Dinner anybody!! Lmao"

??????? Did I in anyway say it was so easy for men on here, I gave a balanced view for both sides on the situation, as there is always 2 sides to every story, she cant expect him to hang about indefinitely on a swingers site waiting for her, however a little time to see if she could get sorted would have been the way to go, seen as he asked her.

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By *azSharkeyMan
over a year ago

Middlesex

slight over reaction, but i can kind of understand your annoyance.

does the guy wait for you to confirm, and find out you can't make it, or does he keep his options open....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what would have happened if the OP had of agreed to the meet then had to cancel because she couldn't get a babysitter? He probably would have thought she was a time waster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of the responses to this are amazing! So the OP couldn't give a definite yes or no as needed to arrange a babysitter first which is reasonable when you have children. Some responses reveal alot about the posters. Come on ladies don't you realise that some single men and couples expect you to drop everything and meet them. You are not to have a life outside fab!! Get a grip people!! Maybe you need to be looking at an escort site instead!

OP book that babysitter and meet .........someone else who undetstands real life!

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By *ratty_Damsel OP   Woman
over a year ago

London.

Well thanks for your comments peeps. Some have been helpful and I am greatful and others have been er 'enlightening'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I chose to ask someone on a date I CHOSE that option to then go ooh better try for a back up is personally off . It's like ordering 2 taxi's incase ones late someone will end up pissed off .

The guy knew the situation before asking or shortly after he could of asked to arrange something another day to let her plan then put his I need to fuck now meet up

Lives and circumstances aren't perfect

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

He was hedging his bets with a plan B I don't see the issue I've done it before. When spare time is rare you don't want to waste it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He was hedging his bets with a plan B I don't see the issue I've done it before. When spare time is rare you don't want to waste it!!"

Yea but if you get two guys it just becomes more fun right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No You are not over reacting he seems inconsiderate and selfish - lucky escape if you ask me. You probably were going to have to buy your own meal as well (lol) xxx

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