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Interesting question.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Was talking to a friend of mine last night about our kids swinging, by kids i mean 18+ ovbiously lol and how we would feel about it

Straight away i said no chance, i have 3 daughters and theres no way a loads of randy guys in a swingers club are getting their hands on my girls lol which i think would be the responce of most mother

But then she raised a interesting question that got me thinking, she said she knew her daughter was sexually active and she knew she picked guys up at pubs etc, but she would rather think her daughter was at a swingers club in a safe environment rather than going back to guys houses she found in a pub, and i had a think and i thought.....you know i really can see where your coming from there .....but..... theres still this part of me that wouldnt like to think of my girls doing this

So i suppose my question is, how would you feel if you found out your child was swinging, and i know so long as they over 18 theres nothing we can do about it, thats not the question, i mean in your heart as a parent how would you feel?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have discussed this too, but we are in a different situation. We have 2 boys, 21 and 24. But......I would not be too pleased if they told me they had been swinging, or if I found out that they had been swinging.

Reeks of double standards, I know, but can't help my parental views clouding my reasoning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you think they do every other time ?

What do you call it ?

They are having non commital sex anyway.

Take your rosie specs off !

Hmmmmmmm could it be that you think 'swinging' is something you've earned due to age?

Tis a good Q x Gran x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we have discussed this too, but we are in a different situation. We have 2 boys, 21 and 24. But......I would not be too pleased if they told me they had been swinging, or if I found out that they had been swinging.

Reeks of double standards, I know, but can't help my parental views clouding my reasoning "

Agree with you 100%.

I have three daughters 18, 22, and 27 and I would be very sad if any of them were to swing. After reading some of the comments and profiles of single guys the thought of any of them touching my daughters makes me ill.

Double standards indeed as the thought of some of them doing just thst to me is a thrill!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both our boys bring girls back to our home, and they stay overnight. I am well aware what they are doing, what, with very low ceiling, and thin walls, lol.

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By *ickens CiderMan
over a year ago

taunton

I'm not a parent but wouldkind of go with what your friend was saying... at least here or in a swinger club its all at lot safer surely... on sexual health grounds... precautions in place... selection... common ground and boundaries... NO Beer or Vodka googles... and then all the regrets in the morning or any panic either for your daughters about did I take precautions last night I can't remember?

So drop your "Parental Views"... maybe leave Fab on screen one day on their computer... and see if it starts a debate between them... "what have you been looking at...?" one might say to the other... or they'll keep it all hush and go forth into the worldyou equally enjoy? lol

Let them have some fun in life too you know... ha ha

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By *ickens CiderMan
over a year ago

taunton


"Both our boys bring girls back to our home, and they stay overnight. I am well aware what they are doing, what, with very low ceiling, and thin walls, lol.

"

keeps you saucy though... lol

sadly makes you feel old I guess... tee hee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not a parent but wouldkind of go with what your friend was saying... at least here or in a swinger club its all at lot safer surely... on sexual health grounds... precautions in place... selection... common ground and boundaries... NO Beer or Vodka googles... and then all the regrets in the morning or any panic either for your daughters about did I take precautions last night I can't remember?

So drop your "Parental Views"... maybe leave Fab on screen one day on their computer... and see if it starts a debate between them... "what have you been looking at...?" one might say to the other... or they'll keep it all hush and go forth into the worldyou equally enjoy? lol

Let them have some fun in life too you know... ha ha

"

When you have children, a lot of things change in the way you live your life. If you dont have kids, you cant see things from the same viewpoint.

We are sure that our boys know what we do, if only because of the snide remarks, sarcastic comments and smiley grins they greety us with when we get home from a meet.

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

Our parents were quite repressive about sex so as a result we've always encouraged our kids from both our previous marriages to enjoy it without feeling guilty. She used to allow her teenage sons to bring girlfriends home for sleepovers, as it was better they and the girls had sex in a safe environment. His daughter started having sex early too and had similar arrangements.

We wouldn't mind if they went in for swinging, one of her sons knows we swing so we could hardly say we disapproved! Fortunately they all live in different parts of the country so we're unlikely to see them in our club - now that would be embarrassing!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I would be happy for both of my children to be happy with whatever they choose to do

I would never make them feel bad if they came and said to me that they were swinging......I doubt they would call it that anyway, its all sex at the end of the day and as long as they're clued up and never feel as though they're in a position that they're uncomfortable with then im happy with that

I do agree that swinging clubs could be a far safer environment than a town centre club full of d*unk people that are unable to make rational judgments

But im sure we've all been there before

Its just sex and young people experiment with sex,I want my children to be happy with their sexuality and if they choose to be with one partner for life then cool,if they're like their mum and dad and want to try a whole range of things then im cool with that too,as long as they're happy

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I said happy far too much in that post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would be happy for both of my children to be happy with whatever they choose to do

I would never make them feel bad if they came and said to me that they were swinging......I doubt they would call it that anyway, its all sex at the end of the day and as long as they're clued up and never feel as though they're in a position that they're uncomfortable with then im happy with that

I do agree that swinging clubs could be a far safer environment than a town centre club full of d*unk people that are unable to make rational judgments

But im sure we've all been there before

Its just sex and young people experiment with sex,I want my children to be happy with their sexuality and if they choose to be with one partner for life then cool,if they're like their mum and dad and want to try a whole range of things then im cool with that too,as long as they're happy

"
Well said..i totally agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not a parent so probably not in a position to comment, however I am an uncle of 2. I think you have to take it from their perspective, how would you have felt in your teens and early 20's if you parents had told you that you couldn't do this and that?

It's their life, they CAN and WILL make their own choices, so given that, surely it's better to be supportive and know what they are doing, rather than be unhappy about it and make them feel like they need to keep it secret from you?

That said, when I have my own children, who knows how I would actually respond!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are far worse things than swinging that your kids can be into...Drugs..Crime...etc..xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are far worse things than swinging that your kids can be into...Drugs..Crime...etc..xx"

Yeah here here 100%

Thats why i suggested "fabyoungsters" ,,but everyone said no! lol lol so there u go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not a parent so probably not in a position to comment, however I am an uncle of 2. I think you have to take it from their perspective, how would you have felt in your teens and early 20's if you parents had told you that you couldn't do this and that?

It's their life, they CAN and WILL make their own choices, so given that, surely it's better to be supportive and know what they are doing, rather than be unhappy about it and make them feel like they need to keep it secret from you?

That said, when I have my own children, who knows how I would actually respond!"

We are well aware that our children will grow up and make their own decisions on all aspects of their lives, just as we did.

But the OP asks the question, "how would you feel if...." and I've just expressed my view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not a parent so probably not in a position to comment, however I am an uncle of 2. I think you have to take it from their perspective, how would you have felt in your teens and early 20's if you parents had told you that you couldn't do this and that?

It's their life, they CAN and WILL make their own choices, so given that, surely it's better to be supportive and know what they are doing, rather than be unhappy about it and make them feel like they need to keep it secret from you?

That said, when I have my own children, who knows how I would actually respond!

We are well aware that our children will grow up and make their own decisions on all aspects of their lives, just as we did.

But the OP asks the question, "how would you feel if...." and I've just expressed my view."

yeah Good 1 jack n kate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not a parent so probably not in a position to comment, however I am an uncle of 2. I think you have to take it from their perspective, how would you have felt in your teens and early 20's if you parents had told you that you couldn't do this and that?

It's their life, they CAN and WILL make their own choices, so given that, surely it's better to be supportive and know what they are doing, rather than be unhappy about it and make them feel like they need to keep it secret from you?

That said, when I have my own children, who knows how I would actually respond!

We are well aware that our children will grow up and make their own decisions on all aspects of their lives, just as we did.

But the OP asks the question, "how would you feel if...." and I've just expressed my view."

That's a fair point, didn't really spot that, just off in my own little world!... and my response wasn't aimed at you, nor anyone in particular!

So how would I feel eh? hmmm.... pass, lol. Think it would depend on if it was a daughter or a son, and how sure I was that they were keeping themselves safe, and not doing it for the wrong reasons etc etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not a parent so probably not in a position to comment, however I am an uncle of 2. I think you have to take it from their perspective, how would you have felt in your teens and early 20's if you parents had told you that you couldn't do this and that?

It's their life, they CAN and WILL make their own choices, so given that, surely it's better to be supportive and know what they are doing, rather than be unhappy about it and make them feel like they need to keep it secret from you?

That said, when I have my own children, who knows how I would actually respond!

We are well aware that our children will grow up and make their own decisions on all aspects of their lives, just as we did.

But the OP asks the question, "how would you feel if...." and I've just expressed my view.

That's a fair point, didn't really spot that, just off in my own little world!... and my response wasn't aimed at you, nor anyone in particular!

So how would I feel eh? hmmm.... pass, lol. Think it would depend on if it was a daughter or a son, and how sure I was that they were keeping themselves safe, and not doing it for the wrong reasons etc etc."

Yeah good 1 another good point made!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Both our boys bring girls back to our home, and they stay overnight. I am well aware what they are doing, what, with very low ceiling, and thin walls, lol.

"

So what difference does it make whether they picked them up on here or in a pub?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Both our boys bring girls back to our home, and they stay overnight. I am well aware what they are doing, what, with very low ceiling, and thin walls, lol.

So what difference does it make whether they picked them up on here or in a pub?"

Yeah 2rite!

which is best?

on here?,,,,or in a pub?

only 1way to find out----FIGHT!!!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Both our boys bring girls back to our home, and they stay overnight. I am well aware what they are doing, what, with very low ceiling, and thin walls, lol.

So what difference does it make whether they picked them up on here or in a pub?"

In the great scheme of things, probably not a jot, lol

I suppose it's the "swinging" label that we tag NSA sex with for us "older" people. For youngsters, it's just shagging....it's what youngsters do.

Like I said earlier, my view reeks of double standards....can't help it...that's just how I see it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Both our boys bring girls back to our home, and they stay overnight. I am well aware what they are doing, what, with very low ceiling, and thin walls, lol.

So what difference does it make whether they picked them up on here or in a pub?

In the great scheme of things, probably not a jot, lol

I suppose it's the "swinging" label that we tag NSA sex with for us "older" people. For youngsters, it's just shagging....it's what youngsters do.

Like I said earlier, my view reeks of double standards....can't help it...that's just how I see it"

yeah 2rite! lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am not a parent so probably not in a position to comment, however I am an uncle of 2. I think you have to take it from their perspective, how would you have felt in your teens and early 20's if you parents had told you that you couldn't do this and that?

It's their life, they CAN and WILL make their own choices, so given that, surely it's better to be supportive and know what they are doing, rather than be unhappy about it and make them feel like they need to keep it secret from you?

That said, when I have my own children, who knows how I would actually respond!"

humm not sure about supportive lol

im 36 and my mother found out i was doing this and even at my age, support was NOT something she gave me lmao

I think as in most things in life as parents we want better for our kids, in everything, and while most women on here are happy to meet strangers for sex, me included lol if we are honest its not something we want our kids doing

i remember my daughter telling me she was going to the family planning for the implant, i was devastated, because to me she was my little girl and i dont want to think of her doing such things, i know sounds bloody stupid for someone on s site like this, and even tho i knew she was sexually active i really didnt want to know, my friends kind of had the attitude that it was great she told me and said we must have a good relationship because she did but i was just like.......nooooooooooooooooooooo i dont want to know lol so if i walked into a club and saw her there i think id probably cry lmao

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

So how would I feel eh? hmmm.... pass, lol. Think it would depend on if it was a daughter or a son, and how sure I was that they were keeping themselves safe, and not doing it for the wrong reasons etc etc."

very interesting

why would it make a difference what sex your child was as to how you would feel about it?

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By *lumsy colinMan
over a year ago

basingstoke

we are all someones son or daughter?

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

we know a mum who works in a club and plays who takes her son sometimes and can,t get our head round it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think at 18 your still finding your way and yes experimenting pubs and nightclubs are fine for the young one but how many get d*unk have one night stands without condoms and end up pregnant. But at 18 I dont think I would have been ready for the swinginging world. I am nearly 32 and have been been clubbing since I was 15 and was getting bored of the whole nightlife scene, plus at that age where all my friends are settling down getting married or having children. So as I still wanted to play started looking for other outlets and swinging seemed to fit into place. If they were mature enough then I dont think I would have a problem when they are in their 30s saying that I dont fancy bumping into them at chams thats my space.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Certainly loads of double standards on here Often seen the comment that swingers are supposed to be tolerant, but not always it seems when it directly affects them!.

If our son or daughter became swingers, we would have no problem with that and as long as it was not forced on them, would support them in their decision. In fact, we would babysit if they wanted to go out and see friends or visit a club.

We have always been open with our kids and our dinner table can degenerate when they come for dinner. One thing we would insist on is that they tell us when they are going to a club, so we can either not go out (babysitting!) or choose a different venue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I'm amazed at the answers on here

Nowt for me ta worry about just yet as daughter is only nine

However if she did turn out to want to explore the world

I personally would prefer her to go to a club or meet off a respectable site

Than go picking up possible assholes in pubs and nightclubs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Both our boys bring girls back to our home, and they stay overnight. I am well aware what they are doing, what, with very low ceiling, and thin walls, lol.

So what difference does it make whether they picked them up on here or in a pub?

In the great scheme of things, probably not a jot, lol

I suppose it's the "swinging" label that we tag NSA sex with for us "older" people. For youngsters, it's just shagging....it's what youngsters do.

Like I said earlier, my view reeks of double standards....can't help it...that's just how I see it"

I've agreed with everything you've written on this thread as they mirror my views.

Double standards without a doubt but that's part of the parent hand book!

We warn our children about the dangers of meeting people off the internet but here we are doing just that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Certainly loads of double standards on here Often seen the comment that swingers are supposed to be tolerant, but not always it seems when it directly affects them!.

If our son or daughter became swingers, we would have no problem with that and as long as it was not forced on them, would support them in their decision. In fact, we would babysit if they wanted to go out and see friends or visit a club.

We have always been open with our kids and our dinner table can degenerate when they come for dinner.

One thing we would insist on is that they tell us when they are going to a club, so we can either not go out (babysitting!) or choose a different venue."

You think this is the only thread with double standards?!!

There are single men on here happy to shag the female half of couples then post they're leaving as they've found someone decent who isn't a slapper and they're not sharing her etc.

I'm sure alcholic, addict parents wouldn't be happy their kids followed in their footsteps.

Probably not comparing like with like but I'm sure you get what I mean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well I'm amazed at the answers on here

Nowt for me ta worry about just yet as daughter is only nine

However if she did turn out to want to explore the world

I personally would prefer her to go to a club or meet off a respectable site

Than go picking up possible assholes in pubs and nightclubs xx "

Yeah right!!

Even when she's 30 and you're walking her down the aisle you'll be sick at giving her away lol!

Also there isn't a planet arsehole where the deviants reside. The arseholes and d*unks clog up this site at chucking out time!

Besides, you're a single man on here so you know how highly thought of you all are lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well I'm amazed at the answers on here

Nowt for me ta worry about just yet as daughter is only nine

However if she did turn out to want to explore the world

I personally would prefer her to go to a club or meet off a respectable site

Than go picking up possible assholes in pubs and nightclubs xx

Yeah right!!

Even when she's 30 and you're walking her down the aisle you'll be sick at giving her away lol!

Also there isn't a planet arsehole where the deviants reside. The arseholes and d*unks clog up this site at chucking out time!

Besides, you're a single man on here so you know how highly thought of you all are lol! "

you sould check out his couples profile then

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well I'm amazed at the answers on here

Nowt for me ta worry about just yet as daughter is only nine

However if she did turn out to want to explore the world

I personally would prefer her to go to a club or meet off a respectable site

Than go picking up possible assholes in pubs and nightclubs xx "

do you think there are no 'arseholes' on swingers sites? im a single woman and believe me there is, i have had some very dodgy meets over the years, meeting off a sex site is no safer than meeting in a pub, meeting in swinging clubs is, i have found that if i have had problems in the past in clubs with guys other people will help me, tell him to back off etc so i do think clubs are a safter place, but as for private meets, wether they safe or not is just a lottery of who you meet, like in a pub, its no safer at all

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

And just to add to everyones double standards comments

yeah i have double standards when it comes to my kids, i work in a supermarket, i want a better life for my kids

I smoke, i hope my kids have more sence than me

I had kids very young and tho i love them dearly i would like to think my kids have a life before they have children of their own

I meet men off internet sites, why? because im single but i still have a sex drive, personally i hope all my girls find love and respect from a guy who they also love back, which is something i dont have

does that make me a hypocrite with double standards? i have no idea, maybe, maybe not, in my eyes its just me wanting my kids to have better than me

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you?

As a father of a sexually active teen (18+) I say "Why not!" If she came to me and said she's gay/bi then I'd say the same! We all have our own likes and dislikes but in this swinging world we can pick and choose, for better or for worse!

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