FabSwingers.com forum: Falling for someone

By *hyCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Bletchley

Ok i have a genuine question for people here, i have been chatting with this guy on here for a while and honestly i feel like i'm starting to fall for him.

I don't really know what to do.

Does anyone think it's weird to try and start a relationship with someone you meet on here?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Not wierd, loads of people on here do, but just remember he might want nothing more than a one night stand, so try not to get too excited about it yet!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

It's hard as unrequited love is often the hardest to deal with....I guess see how it goes before you reveal all...people of course start relationships on here some have got married and had children but it's because it was something they both wanted...how long have you known him??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hyCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Bletchley

well we have been chatting just over a month and we mainly just have normal conversations, of course it occasionally turns to sex but most of the time when we start talking we ask about how our days were etc.

I said to him that one day i want to find a man like him to actually be with, he replied and said "well why could it not be him?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you actually met him? In person?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP have you actually met the man? Or just been chatting online?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well we have been chatting just over a month and we mainly just have normal conversations, of course it occasionally turns to sex but most of the time when we start talking we ask about how our days were etc.

I said to him that one day i want to find a man like him to actually be with, he replied and said "well why could it not be him?""

have you met him yet?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I said to him that one day i want to find a man like him to actually be with, he replied and said "well why could it not be him?""

Have you ever met him??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just make sure you know he's told you his real name first and check facts.

I dated a guy off here for a few months. Turned out the dick didn't tell me his real names :-/

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hyCaz OP Woman
over a year ago

Bletchley

i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said to him that one day i want to find a man like him to actually be with, he replied and said "well why could it not be him?"

Or spoke to him on the phone?.?? I had the same situation we met, we chatted but no chemistry whatsoever, meet him before you make any life changing decisions, or at least chat on the phone

Have you ever met him?? "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him "

it could be lust or you like the attention you are getting (nothing wrong with it)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss Chievous1Woman
over a year ago

my world

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him "

What's stopped you from meeting him?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to piss on your parade

But

Lots on here will say what they know you want to hear honey

The only was is to take all with a pinch of salt and meet in person and still take with pinch of salt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him "

You are getting feelings for the person he is presenting in his messages, this could be the real him or not none of us can say. But it is possible to hide things in writing so all I would say is proceed with caution and I hope the outcome is whatever is best for both of you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him "

Slow down there honey...you can't be falling for people you haven't met after only a month. What if he smells like wet cardboard and has no teeth?

will you love him then?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him "

It could just be that he's paying you the attention that you want, saying the right things, the things you want to hear!

Sorry but I don't believe anyone can fall for someone just via text!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him "

I'm sorry to say this but it's not looking good if you've been chatting awhile and still haven't meet up. He's either married or not who he says he is.

Try to arrange a date/meet asap. If he's making excuses then get rid of him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him "

I recommend a social meet, then you can make up your mind. He might be just the guy for you, or a massive disappointment, or somewhere in between, but you can't make that decision until you see him in the flesh (so to speak).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him "

It happens. I once got chatting to someone I said I could never fancy just because he was so witty. Weeks of hilarity and long late night phone calls later I became quite besotted. It may be very different in person, you need to get on and meet, start getting into reality and see what that feels like. Just hold your horses for now!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to piss on your parade

But

Lots on here will say what they know you want to hear honey

The only was is to take all with a pinch of salt and meet in person and still take with pinch of salt "

Agreed. It wouldn't surprise me if he dropped you like a stone after you've finally had sex. Men (and women) can be manipulative bastards. But then again you may end up happily married, but I doubt it...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to piss on your parade

But

Lots on here will say what they know you want to hear honey

The only was is to take all with a pinch of salt and meet in person and still take with pinch of salt "

You are right. Ive tried this but they still use the charm offensive and feelings develop but only after I met them a few times.

Take their advice and don't fall for them unless you can absolutely guarantee they want this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to be so blunt but this had got disaster and heart break written all over it! This is a swingers site if he wanted a relationship he'd be on match.com :-/

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to piss on your parade

But

Lots on here will say what they know you want to hear honey

The only was is to take all with a pinch of salt and meet in person and still take with pinch of salt

You are right. Ive tried this but they still use the charm offensive and feelings develop but only after I met them a few times.

Take their advice and don't fall for them unless you can absolutely guarantee they want this "

Sorry it read like it was for the posters quote. For the op

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I'd say you are caught up in the moment....hold that moment and meet...then you will know if it's right

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him

Proceed with a lot of caution, meet him in a public place and take it from there. Once you have met him in person you will know more about the person.

Hope it works out for you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I too think you may be caught up in the moment I met someone who id been chatting to online without meeting and we too spoke about normal thinks Aswell as meeting and sex when we did meet I thought he was everything he said he was but he turned out to be a compulsive liar and told that many lies he didn't know what was lies and what (little) was truth. Having said that there are nice people out there and I think you should arrange to meet good luck and keep us posted mrs d xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"sorry to be so blunt but this had got disaster and heart break written all over it! This is a swingers site if he wanted a relationship he'd be on match.com :-/ "

There are more people here looking for a relationship than you imagine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sorry to be so blunt but this had got disaster and heart break written all over it! This is a swingers site if he wanted a relationship he'd be on match.com :-/

Disagree plenty of swingers have dating profiles too you would be suprised!!

There are more people here looking for a relationship than you imagine."

agree 100% x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sorry to be so blunt but this had got disaster and heart break written all over it! This is a swingers site if he wanted a relationship he'd be on match.com :-/ "

Disagree plenty of swingers have dating profiles too!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

I would encourage you to proceed with caution. Unfortunately you can't always trust everyone on here and not all the single men on here are truly single men. I hope it is all positive but until you meet in person, or at least talk on the phone, you risk being led on by one of the many women posing as a single man on here. Honestly, there are loads of them, cheeky fuckers, giving genuine single guys a bad name.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

"sorry to be so blunt but this had got disaster and heart break written all over it! This is a swingers site if he wanted a relationship he'd be on match.com :-/

There are more people here looking for a relationship than you imagine."

So very true! Why they can't be honest with themselves, never mind others, I don't know!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him

It could just be that he's paying you the attention that you want, saying the right things, the things you want to hear!

Sorry but I don't believe anyone can fall for someone just via text! "

It's how many did when all they had was written correspondence and chaperones before marriage.

Think about the 17th & 18th centuarys, love letters were the way many courtships played out.

Having feelings grow for who is either presented in the writing or who is imagined are really feelings. It's just easier to misrepresnt yourself in the written form and for recepricants to infere a tone that isn't necessary there

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him

It could just be that he's paying you the attention that you want, saying the right things, the things you want to hear!

Sorry but I don't believe anyone can fall for someone just via text! "

Have you ever watched Catfish?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many can talk the talk but not many can walk the walk

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him

It could just be that he's paying you the attention that you want, saying the right things, the things you want to hear!

Sorry but I don't believe anyone can fall for someone just via text!

Have you ever watched Catfish?

Haha I was thinking that xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i met my partner on fab but we had been meeting on a regular basis for about a year before we decided to make things a little more like a relationship ,, we now live together but we both still meet others ,,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say you are caught up in the moment....hold that moment and meet...then you will know if it's right

I agree with Cheeky ~ you're in a moment but who is to say that moment won't become anything else.

Meet and take it from there x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

It's easy to fall hard and fast when you are getting on really well and there is that additional element of wanting the ideal you've built up of that person before you've met them. Sometimes they live up to it, sometimes they don't. I am a romantic but tinged with a healthy dose of scepticism - they could be as charming and on the same wavelength with any number of other people and very, very good at saying the right thing. There is nothing wrong with that either as long as you remain aware of that possibility so you don't get hurt.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him

It could just be that he's paying you the attention that you want, saying the right things, the things you want to hear!

Sorry but I don't believe anyone can fall for someone just via text!

Have you ever watched Catfish?

No but I used to watch Catweazle does thar count?

Seriously to the OP A lady I meet occasionally is on a dating site and tells me guys are there for the sex, but here they are just more honest. It does not matter where we meet people who become special to us. Being honest and open about sexual relationships is a very good foundation, but slowly does it. Meet the fellow. Aak if he reads the forums ...... he he

Haha I was thinking that xx"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him

Slow down there honey...you can't be falling for people you haven't met after only a month. What if he smells like wet cardboard and has no teeth?

will you love him then?

Wet cardboard.... Literally made my day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said to him that one day i want to find a man like him to actually be with, he replied and said "well why could it not be him?""

It's a male. . . ? Your absolutely sure?

He's the age that he says he is ?

Anyone can be behind words on a screen hun . .

Slow down, ask to meet 'him' . Safe place obviously . . Then takes things from there x .. .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r tickle 22Man
over a year ago

Sheffeld

Been there , yes I fell for someone well we fell for each other , but she was married with kids unfortunately she moved away , still miss her now some people you just never forget ,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to piss on your parade

But

Lots on here will say what they know you want to hear honey

The only was is to take all with a pinch of salt and meet in person and still take with pinch of salt "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

A female friend of mine fell for a guy on another site a while ago.

They chatted for a month before she decided to ask work if she could change location to be with him, started looking at houses etc. All this without even meeting him!

She eventually set a date to meet him and to spend the weekend together. He didn't turn up, and didn't get in touch for three days. She was distraught. Convinced herself something terrible had happened and that the love of her life was dead.

When he finally did message it was to say he was sorry he had been a no show but he was married and had decided he couldn't leave his small children for the weekend. She was devastated.

Didn't stop her doing it all again a few months later.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ing and RideCouple
over a year ago

stockport

We met on a dating web site and for two years enjoyed vanilla relationship, met each others friends, bbqs etc. Then we got talking about swinging and decided we would give it a go together and its worked. Wouldnt feel so happy going into a swinging relationship without getting to know each other properly etc first. But thats just my opinion. good luck anyway

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you're on the wrong site.....it sounds like you're a little lonely and possibly looking for something that isn't on here and of course he will say what he thinks you want to hear if it means he is close to getting in your knickers !!!!

On these sites you can be who ever you want to be ...it's a fantasy world for some !! Be careful what you start to believe !!!

Maybe try a proper dating site as opposed to a swingers l!!!

Saying that who knows ?? Good luck and keep an open mind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

try not to fall for someone you havent met and known in person would be my advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be careful....be very careful.

This is the way grooming works......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An online persona can be very different to real life. I'd arrange a social meet fairly soon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Be careful....be very careful.

This is the way grooming works......"

what would he be grooming her for?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

some men say what you want to hear very different when you meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

"sorry to be so blunt but this had got disaster and heart break written all over it! This is a swingers site if he wanted a relationship he'd be on match.com :-/

There are more people here looking for a relationship than you imagine."

Im not looking for a relationship but if I stumbled upon one on here I wouldn't complain. I think most people would love to be in a loving meaningful relationship, I would, but sick of all the hassles and being messed about. So just looking for fun for now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

Im very new to this site but I've been on POF for quite a while. Many times I've been chatting with someone online and on the phone, got on line a house on fire. Then you take the plunge and meet them and it's flat, no spark, no physical attraction. You can't help who your attracted to or who got not attracted too, it's all about chemistry and if that chemistry isn't there you can do nothing about it. You don't know if the chemistry is there until you meet in person. You can't possibly know over the phone. Like lots have said already, arrange to meet him in person. Of her makes excuses then move on x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to piss on your parade

But

Lots on here will say what they know you want to hear honey

The only was is to take all with a pinch of salt and meet in person and still take with pinch of salt "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

It's not just on here that grooming happens. I spent a year thinking I was in a relationship with a man who loved me and I loved him. Promised the world used my weakness of wanting a child to hook me in and everything. Took coming on here to find out he was a lying cheating bastard who was already married with kids. Couldn't believe I was that gullible but he told me what I wanted to hear and was convincing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to be careful about things like that on here. The heart is a delicate piece of flesh - people are going to say whatever someone would want to hear as long as they get what they want.

So many people get involved in a lot of unwanted drama which they don't deserve and end up being hurt. The site is meant to be fun - not mind games. And that comes with it, it seems lately.

Just be careful. And trust your instincts.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may be falling for him, but u need to calm down. Youv never met the geezer. Meet him, and see what happens, he maybe a total turn off once u meet him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont do it believe me ...I know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've never met him.

You cannot be falling for a guy that you have never met in the flesh.

Have you even spoke on the phone or anything like that?

Most guys act like the perfect one on here to generally get to the goods.

One they've had it they don't need to act no more and fuck ya off.

Meet him and see what his deal is.

Why haven't you met him yet if he's so wonderful?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthygorgeous1Couple
over a year ago

Oxford

"Ok i have a genuine question for people here, i have been chatting with this guy on here for a while and honestly i feel like i'm starting to fall for him.

I don't really know what to do.

Does anyone think it's weird to try and start a relationship with someone you

meet on here?

No it's not weird at all but I would personally take a breath and question why you've not met yet..... We know a few single girls on here that have been Duped by lying cheating dickheads that get their kicks and their egos massaged by playing games with unsuspecting young girls. We met a couple, well it turned out they were just fuck buddies but anyway we met these guys,had a great night and kept in contact. Now the female had become fairly smitten with him. She was under the impression this guy was divorced and he had told her he couldn't meet all the time as he had custardy of his child 3 weekends a month. It turned out he was actually married and screwing around on fabs with various other ladys as FB couples and as a single without his wife's or any of their knowledge.

Needles to say the Stroker got caught, and exposed but this poor girl was devastated by his deception.! The internet is a dangerous place, people can be whoever they want from behind a keyboard so I would tread with caution until you have at least met him.

That said if it is the real thing we wish you luck xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"i haven't met him in person yet, this is why i don't understand how i can be getting feelings for him

It could just be that he's paying you the attention that you want, saying the right things, the things you want to hear!

Sorry but I don't believe anyone can fall for someone just via text! "

I used this site solely for casual hook ups. I'm a no nonsense, no frills, no bull shit type of woman. 17 November last year I received a message that made me laugh. My response made also made the recipient laugh.

Within four messages we were hooked. We phoned each other, our first conversation lasted hours: we hadn't even talked about sex and agreed to meet the following Sunday for a date.

With the exception of my first meet I've never been nervous, this time I was bricking it! His attitude had always been find em, fuck em and forget em! He was bricking it too!

Since 17 November a day hasn't gone by without us talking together, not difficult as we've moved in together.

We just gelled! We swing together, we swing separately, we have a social life together and separately with our respective friends.

We still wake up and look at each other with wtf?!! expressions as neither of us were looking for a relationship.

It turned out for us but I'd advise the op to proceed with caution and take everything with a pinch of salt as this appears one sided.