FabSwingers.com forum: people who turn you down

By *oodmess OP Man
over a year ago

yumsville

Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Burnt bridges are very uneconomical to repair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, as long as they werent rude last time. It's all swings and roundabouts, if the time is right to meet now we meet, if not oh well.

But then I do socials and clubs, not just cold calling so chances are I will run into them at some point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)"

Would I fuck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)

Would I fuck!"

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)"

Sometimes yes. This is a fickle business, and people can go through phases or have other stuff going on in their lives at times, so someone who I think/believe I will like is worth a second chance. From a single female point of view - we really do get totally overwhelmed with mail sometimes, so it could be an entirely innocent mistake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)

Would I fuck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I doubt it. I would be thinking I'm a last resort or better than nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)"

Yep, I've had several meets, and multiple positive responses from women who deleted my initial messages, apologising as they had so many that mine was removed via a bulk delete, thusly they never got to actually read it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)"

I would if they had deleted my messages previously, if they had turned me down I would have already blocked them

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By *oodmess OP Man
over a year ago

yumsville

It's a tricky one as yeah - things can come up, but if they have previously said 'you are not for me/thanks but no thanks' then ask you meet some time later?

Say they are say exactly your type, or after what you want?

My ego would get in the way I think and just turn them down?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally No we wouldn't because If you aren't someone's type then you aren't their type. Judging by the amount of people that come back after you've already said no there's quite a lot who would though.

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By *ilthy RichMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I've been turned down on here - and propositioned later at the local swing club. I have no idea if they knew me from my online profile or not. I hope I am a little better in the flesh than I am online!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"It's a tricky one as yeah - things can come up, but if they have previously said 'you are not for me/thanks but no thanks' then ask you meet some time later?

Say they are say exactly your type, or after what you want?

My ego would get in the way I think and just turn them down?"

Yea, it depends on the circumstance. If someone actually says I'm not their type then yes, my ego would probably preclude me responding well to them!!

There was a guy I had a meet arranged with a week or two ago who sounded amazing. He messaged, apologised but said he had to cancel as something had come up, and did indeed delete his profile next day. Fair enough, he would get another chance.

And another UTTER hottie who failed to reply to a message just went AWOL after asking to meet, hasn't been online for a month. Maybe someone else was first choice, no veri has appeared, but if he comes back online no way I'm saying no!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have. But, we both knew there was no sexual attraction but socially we got on like a house on fire and had a proper laugh over a social meet.

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By * Busty HotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

All depends on the previous circumstances.

If they've been previously mannered and polite and all was decent and above board then why not? We lead busy lives and don't like to break our arrangements with others, so why shouldn't other people have the same pressures?

If of course they clearly bottled it or failed to show without notice, or were rude, ignorant or abusive, pestered or harassed us, then not a hope-in-hell.

We would usually block such individuals but sometimes like to leave them able to see our pics and veris in a sort of "Look what you could have won!", situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy I met and got along great with, turned me down with the excuse he had just met a new gf and wanted to be faithful

4 months later he came knocking - the gf had dumped him

I told him to sling his hook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who give a s...t there are many out there...

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By *lkmazabukaMan
over a year ago

bristol

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)

Would I fuck!

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

Yes and have. If they don't turn up to a first meet then no. Experience has taught me that most "did not attends" (Dna) will Dna again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we would meet them just so we could bring up the fact that they had ignored us before mid convo! The look on their faces would be priceless!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A guy I met and got along great with, turned me down with the excuse he had just met a new gf and wanted to be faithful

4 months later he came knocking - the gf had dumped him

I told him to sling his hook"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)

I would if they had deleted my messages previously, if they had turned me down I would have already blocked them "

Agreed .... We do the same .

However we have met and played with a few couples who we have blocked ( or them us ) without even knowing that we had been turned down by them !

That's why we prefer clubs , the reality of meeting people face to face is often so different to a presumption in cyber world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have done a few times, depends how desperate i am and if they seem ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes we would meet them just so we could bring up the fact that they had ignored us before mid convo! The look on their faces would be priceless!! "

Yes, and they always deny it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i have done a few times, depends how desperate i am and if they seem ok."

Just wow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i have done a few times, depends how desperate i am and if they seem ok.

Just wow."

I know, poor me.

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By *peedypeteMan
over a year ago

derby

Depends if they give a reason why they ignored you or turned you down before.

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By *oodmess OP Man
over a year ago

yumsville

lol, people have such resolve! I hope I would say no, the only reason being is that I know if I met them, I would have that nagging doubt that I wasnt good enough the first time and I wouldnt enjoy the meet/put real effort in.

I expect (eeeeek) meet, I would just treat it like a hole if I did (gonna get hit for that one)

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope.

Their sudden change of heart would concern me.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

If they turned me down because "they couldn't be arsed", then I keep that in mind: when they come back knocking (as have done in the past) then I also "can't be arsed".

Inasmuch as its not a popular opinion, life in this game is too short to put any one person [a potential meet] on a pedestal. They have options, so do you.

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

Have done.....she wasn't sure but then they invited me back and as I'd thought they were a nice couple and she was sexy I said yes and we had some great meets from there on.

Never say never again!

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

We have quite a few people turn us down on here & then meet us at parties & then say sorry we didn't meet with you etc.

We are always nice & friendly with people but will not meet with people after being turned down, you will find shallow types on here but they are few & far between thankfully.

If you turn someone down then equally expect them not to want to play with you just because you know you fucked up in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Burnt bridges are very uneconomical to repair. "

All that wood erecting....

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By * Busty HotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

If we post a meet and they respond to it and then cry off. Not a chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and no, would depend on why they turned me dpwn in the first place

i did have a guy not so long back contact me for a meet when he had already turned mw down, i said no though, not because he had previously turned me down but for the reason why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can work in reverse, where you meet and play with someone at a club and you agree to veri the next day (assuming both on FAb), and low and behold you find out that they said no online a while back....Its just how the cookie crumbles sometimes

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By *sagent81Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I messaged my x fb/gf 4 times before she replied with wow your hot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably not...but may depend on the manner in which they declined previously?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)

Would I fuck!"

that made me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I probably would depending on how I feel.

However, I've met some one a while ago who agreed to meet again and after several times of trying to meet up and being ignored, I wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)"

It depends as people have reasons for doing things so petulance is often not needed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I would, why meet someone who's obviously not interested in you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends why they turn u down really but if they just ignore you then no they aint geting a chance as all messages are being binned simple as its easy to say sorry cant meet or not my type but any polite reponce is better than just being ignored

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Second chance - definately not.It

happened to me today - a "lady" of this site contacted me asking for pix etc.

Things appeared to be going well then half an hour later she messaged me to say I wasn't her type.

Typical "p***k teaser" I'd say. I blocked her so I shall know not to bother next time but I suppose you never know.

There are so many dishonest people around.

End of rant.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

There are people I've turned down based on pics or a poor profile who I've met in a club and they look very different to their pics and have a lovely personality and then I've played with them.

So many people use a screen grab or the only pic their eyes are open in as their face pic and don't realise that it may be losing them meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it would depend on the manner in which they turned us down. The rude ones, or the ones that have upset us then they can jog on. If it was a case of 'not what they want right now but in the future perhaps' type of knock back then yes.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I like the ones that are interested in person (say at a party, where I use a first name, unless asked profile name) but online don;t wan tot know me.

The look on their faces when I say "you know we've spoken online right?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i first join i messaged lots of people and got no replies or thanks but no, but as time went on and not a newbie and a handful of verifications you no longer look like a time waster (there are so many of them) they tar us all with the same brush but I have messaged them since and got better results. 2nd chances are good.

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By *r n mrs swingCouple
over a year ago

pontefract

We had a guy message us then block us...then unblocked us messaged again and when we asked why he decided to threaten us saying we had met someone he knew so we better watch out....I mean seriously get a grip lol

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"We had a guy message us then block us...then unblocked us messaged again and when we asked why he decided to threaten us saying we had met someone he knew so we better watch out....I mean seriously get a grip lol "

Simple solution to people like that (playing the block -unblock- send rude message- block again): Block them back and leave them there

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By *oodmess OP Man
over a year ago

yumsville

Simple solution to people like that (playing the block -unblock- send rude message- block again): Block them back and leave them there

even if they do block you first, you can still block them from messaging again. It's on the left hand side when you see they have blocked you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Second chance - definately not.It

happened to me today - a "lady" of this site contacted me asking for pix etc.

Things appeared to be going well then half an hour later she messaged me to say I wasn't her type.

Typical "p***k teaser" I'd say. I blocked her so I shall know not to bother next time but I suppose you never know.

There are so many dishonest people around.

End of rant.

Really surprised!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

depends how they turned us down - but we have got back in touch with some that have done and chatted more -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/06/14 20:43:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No we wouldn't. We lost out on a lot of meets because we were bigger (I was bigger) but now I'm a lot lighter, we are getting more interest and some people that have refused us are mailing us. We (I) block them. Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I doubt it. I would be thinking I'm a last resort or better than nothing "

My thought exactly. We've been turned down with a "sorry you're not our type. No black me ." To later get a message from the same couple asking to meet. No thank you. He's still black and I'm no longer interested.

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By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

I didn't realise as a single male I can turn down meets, is that allowed really ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I have done in the past but I made her work for it first

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

We would meet someone who turned us down. There is no way to know why they turned us down.

It could have been bad timing.

We may have had a more arsey profile at the time.

Our pics may not have done us justice.

They may have been on a break.

They may just want one of us and we maybe ok with that on a one off occasion.

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By *unPeteMan
over a year ago

Near Bristol

Yes I would. I'm sure my profile and/or the way I come across on Fab has changed in the few years I've been here. So maybe I wasn't that appealing when I was first turned down.

However I block profile that have ignored or turned me down now so the only way I could meet them would be in a club/party. Then I'd probably not know that at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not particularly, I won't do sloppy second, or the no one else is around bit.

That's proberly how I would take it depending really, it would be my gut instinct anyway.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)

Would I fuck!"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm usually pretty philosophical about things and say to myself 'your loss''.

If I've been ignored I may give them a second chance. People do live busy lives and you can be inundated but rudeness is another thing. Manners cost nothing. No second chance then

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Second chance - definately not.It

happened to me today - a "lady" of this site contacted me asking for pix etc.

Things appeared to be going well then half an hour later she messaged me to say I wasn't her type.

Typical "p***k teaser" I'd say. I blocked her so I shall know not to bother next time but I suppose you never know.

There are so many dishonest people around.

End of rant.

Not sure why that makes her a prickteaser. Just sounds like she changed her mind to me.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

But to answer the question - no, I probably wouldnt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Second chance - definately not.It

happened to me today - a "lady" of this site contacted me asking for pix etc.

Things appeared to be going well then half an hour later she messaged me to say I wasn't her type.

Typical "p***k teaser" I'd say. I blocked her so I shall know not to bother next time but I suppose you never know.

There are so many dishonest people around.

End of rant.

How is she a prick teaser? You just weren't her type and she was polite enough to say after the pics were sent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Second chance - definately not.It

happened to me today - a "lady" of this site contacted me asking for pix etc.

Things appeared to be going well then half an hour later she messaged me to say I wasn't her type.

Typical "p***k teaser" I'd say. I blocked her so I shall know not to bother next time but I suppose you never know.

There are so many dishonest people around.

End of rant.

"
That's a different story, why was she a prick teaser, just because you was not her type? I simply wouldn't message someone twice for ignorance and then thinking oh well, let's try again, if your not someone's type, take the adult approach and move on.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would I fuck!

Yes that is the question, would you?

Omitting those who were rude, I really don't see what the issue is, messages get deleted because life is too busy to answer today, or they have meets lined up for the next 6 weeks which could run into second / 3rd meets and a life to live as well. So if they later get a clear window and see if you are available why not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would I fuck!

Yes that is the question, would you?

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A guy I met and got along great with, turned me down with the excuse he had just met a new gf and wanted to be faithful

4 months later he came knocking - the gf had dumped him

I told him to sling his hook"

Poor guy can't win... he turns down NSA Swinging sex because in the mean time he has met someone and wants to be faithful, that didn't work out so he returns to NSA swinging and contacts the last hottie he was interested in.

Only to be told to sling his hook for being one of them faithful honest types

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"Yes, as long as they werent rude last time. It's all swings and roundabouts, if the time is right to meet now we meet, if not oh well.

But then I do socials and clubs, not just cold calling so chances are I will run into them at some point"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A guy I met and got along great with, turned me down with the excuse he had just met a new gf and wanted to be faithful

4 months later he came knocking - the gf had dumped him

I told him to sling his hook

Only to be told to sling his hook for being one of them faithful honest types

How was he honest and faithful when he was on here chasing me, even taken to dinner and still calling and texting, whilst going out with her?

He had met her before he had met me and we had been chatting for weeks before our diaries matched that we could meet in real life

So honest and faithful are not two adjectives I'd use when describing him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just met

How was he honest and faithful when he was on here chasing me, even taken to dinner and still calling and texting, whilst going out with her?

He had met her before he had met me and we had been chatting for weeks before our diaries matched that we could meet in real life

So honest and faithful are not two adjectives I'd use when describing him "

Well your post did say "Just Met" and dinner isn't cheating unless you are treating it as a date?

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

No fookin way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well your post did say "Just Met" and dinner isn't cheating unless you are treating it as a date?"

It was dinner to see if we were both happy to proceed to a more intimate meet ( was only dinner as we met in town after work)

And the petting session in the car, I suppose that wasn't cheating either...

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Depends on the circumstances, like many have said.

I would if they just didn't reply to me (I have been at a womans house when she is logged in and the volume of bollocks is staggering).

If they turned me down, it would depend on why. I would certainly meet those that weren't attracted to me for a drink because 99.9% of the world doesn't fancy a you, but you can still tolerate them socially...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And the petting session in the car, I suppose that wasn't cheating either..."

Another bit you didn't mention

I really don't care, I wasn't there I picked your reply from all the "No Way" replies as I was a bit astounded at how many seem to take it personally if someone doesn't agree to meet them, as I said on my first post, it's different if they replied with a rude message, but timing being wrong is something that does change and is a perfectly valid reason.

BTW from a personal experience perspective when L and I got together the first 2 or 3 months was very casual, FB type relationship that grew and changed, I did cancel a date when we decided to go for it, and it's been 10 years now so I probably won't be asking the other woman if she would like that date now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)"
Couldn't happen as folks who claim too many messages mean they can't reply or worse still read - either way they don't reply or just delete without getting back to us - get blocked....saves us wasting our time messaging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So long as they hasn't been offensive when saying no the first time I'd be open to the idea, but would probably approach with caution to make sure I want just a convenience or last resort. I know myself my likes and dislikes have changed over time so theirs might have too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)"

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like to judge. They might have had a full mailbox and been going on holiday next week. They might've changed what they're looking for after exploring new fantasies. I might have changed something about my profile that made me more appealing to them.

I would not turn somebody down because they had turned me down in the past. If they were a dick about it then I would turn them down for being a dick.

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By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)

I would if they had deleted my messages previously, if they had turned me down I would have already blocked them "

But what if the cunning devil left the site, then returned with another username?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the reason, if they turned me down as I'm not their type then they have no chance. If it is due to other factors eg distance then they found themselves in the area I would consider it.

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By *ourbonCouple
over a year ago

Lutterworth

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)"

i think i would - based on the fact i have lost 8stone in the last year the reasons could be based on size

having said that i lost the weight for health reasons and getting meets has never really been a problem at any size

i would say yes if it was cpl on cpl and all were happy and it fitted what we wanted

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By *LCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

"It's a tricky one as yeah - things can come up, but if they have previously said 'you are not for me/thanks but no thanks' then ask you meet some time later?

Say they are say exactly your type, or after what you want?

My ego would get in the way I think and just turn them down?"

This is more or less what I was thinking. I know that in the past we've had messages from people and for one reason or another we haven't replied. In a few cases this isn't a rejection just a matter of timing. We get very little time where we can meet and sometimes it can also take time for us too both see the message/profile. Maybe I should start sending "Thanks for the message but we are quite busy at the moment and we will try to get back to you when we have more time". Would a reply like that offend you?

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By *oandjohnCouple
over a year ago

South Wales, will travel to Hereford, Worcestershire and Shropshire

If I'm turned down because I'm "not for us" then no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe I should start sending "Thanks for the message but we are quite busy at the moment and we will try to get back to you when we have more time". Would a reply like that offend you?"

You mean an "out of orifice" meaasge

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Many times I've had guys flounce off as I'd not meet after a cpl of messages . Ranging from if I don't sent a face pic then they'll just go else where , to they've not got time to waste chatting .Also the ones that think I should be greatful for any attention . Strange how many days , weeks or months later come back happy to talk and hopefully meet lol. Why on earth would I want to waste a single second of my time on them let alone meet them lol.

Pointless covering old ground and looking back .move forward to positive things .

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

We had similar the other week as a guy Kim plays with said a female friend of his wanted to meet us.

On contacting her said told us we was'nt her type which was fair enough but the guy said she thought it was someone else and now wants to meet.

If she cant even read our profile and look at our pics why the hell would we want to play with her anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably would if they at least had the decency to send a message saying no thanks but people who delete your well written and thoughtful message without reply not a chance! Hate rude and ignorant people manners cost nothing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apart from time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not for me would just concentrate on the friends I already had.

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By *hristian1981Man
over a year ago

dundee

Defo not...

Anyone I mail who reads and ignores gets blocked.

I was raised with manners and thats just plan rude so nope out off principle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard enough to get meets without being picky another no is just one no closer to a yes

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Would you meet someone who has previously turned you down or ignored/deleted any messages you have sent them?

(That is if they contacted you for a meet)"

Depends.....sometimes we will.

There can be a few reasons why someone might not reply or send a no thanks message at that time.

If they had replied along the lines of 'No thanks, you look like the back end of a bus' then of course we wouldn't.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I didn't realise as a single male I can turn down meets, is that allowed really ?"

No its punishable by death!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who has no Ego or self respect my answer would be probably yes

Gimp

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

would probably have blocked them if they ignored a msg....

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By *iss Chievous1Woman
over a year ago

my world

[Removed by poster at 19/06/14 09:13:10]

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By *iss Chievous1Woman
over a year ago

my world

I turned my "now FB" down loads, he did not give up and he made me laugh, we chatted for months, then one day I got let down by someone else at the last min and he came to meet me for a shoulder to cry on !!!! That was a year ago and since then we have become really good friends and meet 3 or 4 times a week (sometimes for sex sometimes just for coffee) his not my type physically but personality won me over !!!

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