FabSwingers.com forum: convincing my wife

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm probably one of thousands of guys who is married and wishing he could persuade his wife to try swinging. Where the hell do you start? We don't have a big social circle, we have never spoke about swinging but i'd love nothing more than to see another guy pleasuring her. I was thinking maybe about getting some porn movies featuring swinging as a starting point

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

explore fantasies with her and see if she is turned on by the though of someone joining you both.

don't try to convince her, let it be led by her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only you know your wife, how she feels about certain things

Only advice I can give~ Talk to her

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Show her your profile. I'm sure she won't want to feel left out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she know you are on here as a single guy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does she know you are on here as a single guy?"

no, initially this was going to be my way of introducing her but i got carried away with the single guy thing! BTW i hav'nt met with anyone yet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does she know you are on here as a single guy?"
I think not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in the same boat...to witness my wifes pussy taking a hard cock would be just amazing....but she is definitely a one man woman....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does she know you are on here as a single guy?

no, initially this was going to be my way of introducing her but i got carried away with the single guy thing! BTW i hav'nt met with anyone yet!"
yeah because you've not had chance yet...sat morning fun?ask your wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats yr reasons for being on here? alot of married men that contact me tell me they love their wife but they have a sexless marraige or they have a high sex drive and shes not interested. if something like that is yr case then i cant see her being convince to swing will go down well. good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the same boat...to witness my wifes pussy taking a hard cock would be just amazing....but she is definitely a one man woman....

Are you sure? Your obviously not

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

It doesnt bode well

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Whats yr reasons for being on here? alot of married men that contact me tell me they love their wife but they have a sexless marraige or they have a high sex drive and shes not interested. if something like that is yr case then i cant see her being convince to swing will go down well. good luck"

i suppose my reasons for being on here are that i want/need more sex than i am getting. we have good sex but nowhere near enough of it. Thanks for your reply!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the same boat...to witness my wifes pussy taking a hard cock would be just amazing....but she is definitely a one man woman....

Are you sure? Your obviously not

It got discussed many years ago...and let me tell u...its a definite 'no chance'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the same boat...to witness my wifes pussy taking a hard cock would be just amazing....but she is definitely a one man woman....

Are you sure? Your obviously not

It got discussed many years ago...and let me tell u...its a definite 'no chance'!"

So you thought cheating behind her back was the way forward?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had talked about our fantasies for years before they became a reality by started swinging. My advice would be don't rush things, for ages I was happy to keep it as a fantasy but when I really started thinking about things it really turned me on.

But not everyone is the same I'm afraid and sometimes the more you push someone into trying something it could end in tears all round.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i suppose my reasons for being on here are that i want/need more sex than i am getting. we have good sex but nowhere near enough of it. Thanks for your reply!

Have you discussed that with your wife, found out why she doesn't want as much sex as you? Perhaps fix that before venturing into this lifestyle as one of the biggest things you need is communication and trust.

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

i suppose my reasons for being on here are that i want/need more sex than i am getting. we have good sex but nowhere near enough of it. Thanks for your reply!

then work on sorting that with your wife 1st, swinging is an extension to a couples sex life, it isnt a replacement, it should be about honesty and you arent honest and open from the beginning with your wife, its never going to work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the same boat...to witness my wifes pussy taking a hard cock would be just amazing....but she is definitely a one man woman....

Are you sure? Your obviously not

It got discussed many years ago...and let me tell u...its a definite 'no chance'!

So you thought cheating behind her back was the way forward? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I donkno you wife and i cant speak for every woman on the.site but ive found the older i get the more my sex drive increases an the more adventurous im becoming. I think if your sex life is lacking t home theres a bigger issue driving the lack of it, and im guessing if.she.found out about your profile whether youve met anyone onot wont help matters. Swinging should be an extentsion to.your sex life not the reason to simply get more sex

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

"Show her your profile. I'm sure she won't want to feel left out."

I assume you're (a) divorce lawyer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my fella first asked me I told him "he could dump me and find some tramp to take with him" but back then I wasn't open to the idea of swinging, but I decided to do some research at my own pace, and I'm now exploring the clubs and everything.

Just mention it to her, personally I'd do it without the porn, ( just a suggestion), and u never no she might gradually come round to the idea.

Hope it goes well for u

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the same boat...to witness my wifes pussy taking a hard cock would be just amazing....but she is definitely a one man woman....

Are you sure? Your obviously not

It got discussed many years ago...and let me tell u...its a definite 'no chance'!

So you thought cheating behind her back was the way forward? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

show her your profile on here

you can't convince anyone to do anything, she either wants to or not

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I donkno you wife and i cant speak for every woman on the.site but ive found the older i get the more my sex drive increases an the more adventurous im becoming. I think if your sex life is lacking t home theres a bigger issue driving the lack of it, and im guessing if.she.found out about your profile whether youve met anyone onot wont help matters. Swinging should be an extentsion to.your sex life not the reason to simply get more sex"

Maybe she is getting plenty elsewhere and it's just him she doesn't want to shag!

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby

I am sure others have said this but why don't those with a non swinging partner who they 'think' wont be interested in swinging just ask. For all you know he/she may be thinking the same as you! Obviously you cant just blurt out you want to have fun with others but there will be a way you can bring it up in conversation.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Show her your profile. I'm sure she won't want to feel left out.

I assume you're (a) divorce lawyer!"

I can't be a lawyer, I've got a conscience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she is getting plenty elsewhere and it's just him she doesn't want to shag!"

We have a great sexlife and are adventurous regarding places to fuck etc...but she will only do it,with me...

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

another post from a single (and a few other singles in here) playing away, looks bad on the genuine singles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm probably one of thousands of guys who is married and wishing he could persuade his wife to try swinging. Where the hell do you start? We don't have a big social circle, we have never spoke about swinging but i'd love nothing more than to see another guy pleasuring her. I was thinking maybe about getting some porn movies featuring swinging as a starting point

If you're talking about having to 'convince' your wife, and already posting on a swinging site, I have to question the morality of that and the state of your relationship. It's not my business to judge, but since you're posting this on a public forum....

Have you considered what you're actually thinking about and doing? This is very underhand, and basically entrapment on your part. Having an open relationship is about trust and companionship, not one person coercing the other into is.

Talk to your wife, not strangers on the Internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We talked about it for ages. . Albeit pillow talk most of the time, but it was him that set up 'OUR' profile on another site. . To see how keen I was . . He then left it alone to see how I'd respond. . . 5 years later

Talk!!. . Doesn't have to be a serious conversation, just drop it in, in a light hearted kinda way, make a joke of it .

Could work . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP my only question is do you want her to swing because you think she would enjoy it and it would enhance your relationship? Or becauae your time on here has made it clear that as halfcofca couple life for men on here is much more rewarding?

If it's the former, delete your profile and just get talking to her about it

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By *errynjuneCouple
over a year ago

Barnsley

Pandora's box, genie from the bottle and can of worms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This kind of post comes along every week on fab...and this week we've got two in one. And every week the same answers are trotted out...for good reason. But I was trying to think what the ultimate most positive answer to this question is and this is mine....

Either leave your wife or leave swinging.

If you've already gone and got some action of your own then leave her...she's not the one for you...you can find someone else out there better suited to you...and she also deserves someone else...someone who'd be willing to stay faithful to her...those are both of your rights so that's the most positive step to take. If it's still just fantasy...back off...go back to her and see if it's worth patching things up...have a few wanks...calm down and get that monkey off your back...proceeding any further in swinging is only gonna make things worse.

That's the best I could come up with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This kind of post comes along every week on fab...and this week we've got two in one. And every week the same answers are trotted out...for good reason. But I was trying to think what the ultimate most positive answer to this question is and this is mine....

Either leave your wife or leave swinging.

That's the best I could come up with."

Leaving his wife seems a bit extreme. Like I said above, marriage and relationships are about trust so all he has to do is stop posting on here as a guy, which is him lying to his wife and go talk to her openly and honestly.

If you can't be honest with your partner, then what kind of relationship do you have? What's it based on? Lies or trust? Not a good place to get into this lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Either leave your wife or leave swinging.

That's the best I could come up with.

If you can't be honest with your partner, then what kind of relationship do you have? What's it based on? Lies or trust? Not a good place to get into this lifestyle."

Agreed

The OP should leave swinging and go and talk to his wife...however there's another guy on this thread who's got a verification on his profile that says he's met alot for 1 on 1 and 3some sex. This guy should leave his wife. Primarily because she deserves better...but also because she's probably not suited to him so he could also find better (if we're gonna try not to be judgemental about him). I think that sounds fair...doesn't it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Leaving his wife seems a bit extreme. Like I said above, marriage and relationships are about trust so all he has to do is stop posting on here as a guy, which is him lying to his wife and go talk to her openly and honestly.

If you can't be honest with your partner, then what kind of relationship do you have? What's it based on? Lies or trust? Not a good place to get into this lifestyle.

Agreed

Not really, because then he gets his cake & eat it. Whoever you're talking about should be talking to his own wife as well and not playing around with strangers behind her back.

Why should he get to have sex with other people AND then leave his wife over it? How is that in any way fair on her!?

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By *untimes-2013Couple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

Start out slowly. See if she is interested in a holiday at a naturist resort like cap'd'agde in France, there is everything going on there from just a lovely sunny holiday, naked or semi naked to serious swinging and fetish stuff. Get her there and go to some of the normal bars and see the different types of people there and maybe Melroses which is a night club/ pick up bar, can be very sexy but no actual sex going on.

See where you go from there. But DO YOUR REASERCH, put effort in and you may be surprised. I was!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not really, because then he gets his cake & eat it. Whoever you're talking about should be talking to his own wife as well and not playing around with strangers behind her back.

Why should he get to have sex with other people AND then leave his wife over it? How is that in any way fair on her!?"

Lol that's a weird way of looking at it...like leaving her would be something of a treat for him lol

Personally I think any decent relationship should be based on three things...communication, trust, and love. Once those things are broken the relationship is over...best to move on and let the other one go find it again rather than live in the illusion that they exist when they do not

Just my opinion of course...but I do think it's the most positive advice that can be given in this situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not really, because then he gets his cake & eat it. Whoever you're talking about should be talking to his own wife as well and not playing around with strangers behind her back.

Why should he get to have sex with other people AND then leave his wife over it? How is that in any way fair on her!?

Lol that's a weird way of looking at it...like leaving her would be something of a treat for him lol

Just my opinion of course...but I do think it's the most positive advice that can be given in this situation"

But HE'S the one breaking them so why should he get to walk away because of a situation HE created? That's my point. I'm not saying it would be a bed of roses for him to leave his wife, but why does she have to be the one dumped just because of his desire to fuck other women? That's the point - he should be communicating with his wife, not secretly fucking other women on a sex site!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"show her your profile on here

you can't convince anyone to do anything, she either wants to or not"

Totally agree with the 2nd bit...if you have to convince someone then it wont work for you both...suggest, don't convince

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