FabSwingers.com forum: all talk no action

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

so,knew we were free for a good week. so advertised a meet. NONE of our friends got intouch (other than 1 for a social) and only random single guys. So cos nothing has come of it,we've decided to make most of it and have 'date night' (doesnt happen often)

Is everyone all talk these days and just love perving and talking dirty via messages whilst partners not knowing 1 is on here?

Understand people have commitments but a week is plenty of notice. for so called friends that want to meet?

one of the reasons we gave up last time.

have fun any people x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you acknowledge you are rarely free but then feel a week's notice is sufficient for other people to meet you - spot the contradiction?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make more friends simples :0)

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I think a week is more than enough time

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By *ot pussy and big cockCouple
over a year ago

Nr Newtown

It does seem to be a lot more talk than action on here these days, that's for sure.

It's a shame, nobody seems to meet spontaneously anymore either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have lives outside of Fabs.

Who knew?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you take the time to contact any if them? Or just sit and wait for them to contact you from a status update or meet post??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not much use putting a meet up and then sitting and waiting. A novel idea would be to think to yourselves 'we're free for the week, let's contact our friends and see what they're up to'

Waiting to be contacted ain't gonna end well as you've found out for yourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was this week just ended, it's also half-term week. Lotsa people have other plans, especially if they have family.

A week is plenty of notice - if you're free! A couple of hours is plenty of notice if you're free, but if you're not available then you're not available, notice or not.

Having said that - I just had a quick peek at your profile, and if I were one of those friends I'd be changing my plans for you, lol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm all talk and all action.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm all talk and all action. "
so we've all heard

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By *ohndelMan
over a year ago

Preston

If I had been on your friends list, I would defiantly have tried my best to be available, you have a great profile

Seriously, maybe we should all remember, that friends are just that, friends and we try to accommodate when we can .like we would in everyday life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I had been on your friends list, I would defiantly have tried my best to be available, you have a great profile

Seriously, maybe we should all remember, that friends are just that, friends and we try to accommodate when we can .like we would in everyday life."
that's fine to a point, but surely they could have been pro-active and made the first move rather than waiting for something to drop in the lap?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not that far away from me.

If yer stuck, you know where I am ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get out what you put in.. Little effort = little response

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By *ohndelMan
over a year ago

Preston

Fair points to my post.

I was taking the _iew, that if I was a couple on here, with such a solid profile, I would have thought surely people/friends would have been lining up for a meet.

Whilst relatively new on here, if any of my friends do make a post, I do try to respond, if only to say, sorry, busy etc .

What is the _iew of females/couples , would they expect/receive quite a bit of response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A week is plenty if tine to expect a meet with someone from hour friends list .

How many friends are on the list ?

Not one is free ?

Seems odd to us , or are the ops right .... Their friends are all talk , in which case do a friends cull and be more selective with the new ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is the _iew of females/couples , would they expect/receive quite a bit of response"

We put meets up with no expectations, we know we won't appeal to everyone. In the past, we've had some response to meet today's, and other times nothing. Each time though we'll ask our friends if they might be free or not as we'd prefer to meet them above random invites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will now go through your friends list OP...just to perv and see if they are a bunch a pervofakes

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By *ohndelMan
over a year ago

Preston

Could not have put it better myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone on my friend list put a meet request up I wouldn't mail them. If they wanted to meet me they would have asked me.

A meet request or status update is aimed at the whole site.

Also like others have said, perhaps people weren't free last week. Bit unfair to assume they were ignoring you OP. Next time mail your friends and ask..?

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

As someone else said, if we have other commitments on a particular date, no amount of notice will change that. We now meet in clubs to avoid being left in this situation or getting last minute cancellations. Like the OP, we are not able to meet as often as we would like.

If we noticed a meet request on a friend's profile we would probably assume it wasn't aimed at us. Unless they also messaged us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not everyone will dance to your tune x

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"so,knew we were free for a good week. so advertised a meet. NONE of our friends got intouch (other than 1 for a social) and only random single guys. So cos nothing has come of it,we've decided to make most of it and have 'date night' (doesnt happen often)

Is everyone all talk these days and just love perving and talking dirty via messages whilst partners not knowing 1 is on here?

Understand people have commitments but a week is plenty of notice. for so called friends that want to meet?

one of the reasons we gave up last time.

have fun any people x "

A week plenty of notice? I usually have to give a month's notice so people can sort out work rota's, child minders, check their travel routes to mine... anything less and I get the standard "not enough time to sort logistics" answer.

I've learned that "Meet today's" are more "Meets sometime in the near future"

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

people put it in a 'status' and expect people to contact them.

and if and I say if, that is the total effort made... hardly surprising it is often unsuccessful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone on my friend list put a meet request up I wouldn't mail them. If they wanted to meet me they would have asked me.

A meet request or status update is aimed at the whole site.

Also like others have said, perhaps people weren't free last week. Bit unfair to assume they were ignoring you OP. Next time mail your friends and ask..?"

My sentiments exactly!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can't believe your saying we sat here all week for 'friends' t come to us.

We mailed 'friends' but nothing come of it, also some 'friends' didn't bother replying. As said has been all single guys getting Intouch

West have a life outside of fab too, but putting a meet up the weekend before is surely plenty of notice for people to arrange something for the weekend. after?

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By *ohndelMan
over a year ago

Preston

Pleased to see you back here on to see what has been said.

I have placed a few posts, supporting your _iews, basically, saying with such a strong profile and the number of friends would have expected lots of positive response and it is only courtesy for friends to at least try to respond if only to say thanks but busy.

Again as I said, I monitor my friends re invites etc and would always respond, if you are away on holiday for example there is the facility to mark your profile via the header

I think you have been very unfortunate, however keep going as there are lots of very genuine people out here who would love to meet you, if only for a coffee and put the world to rights. Us Lancs folk need to stick together, but that is for another day and yes I have loads of good friends in Yorks

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I'm maybe a bit of a rarity in that I have very few commitments other than work so my evenings and weekends are often free for swinging activities, however, i often can't find a meet because a lot of my Fab friends live miles from Arse End...if I'm off on my travels, I'll start looking about a month before and although I may post a meet, I seldom get anything from that posting, usually only from messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah it's a bit frustrating when you're free and no one else is, half term holidays though.

I'm rarely just 'free' & I always plan my meets usually quite a bit in advance , maybe that's how the people on your friends list operate as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm all talk and all action. so we've all heard

Really? Should I be worried

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sod's law.

I had someone beg me to meet for months. I had no proper free time and didn't want a quick meet. Then I got a lot of free time and he was busy

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"Sod's law.

I had someone beg me to meet for months. I had no proper free time and didn't want a quick meet. Then I got a lot of free time and he was busy"

Always the way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sod's law.

I had someone beg me to meet for months. I had no proper free time and didn't want a quick meet. Then I got a lot of free time and he was busy

Always the way."

+1 that is.

last time we were on here, we was free on a sat night once a month,even then we couldnt get a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe your saying we sat here all week for 'friends' t come to us.

We mailed 'friends' but nothing come of it, also some 'friends' didn't bother replying. As said has been all single guys getting Intouch

West have a life outside of fab too, but putting a meet up the weekend before is surely plenty of notice for people to arrange something for the weekend. after?"

Are you free next weekend? If not can you change plans?

If the answer to either of those is no why be so put out that it's the same for others?

Plus how many on your friends list have you actually met?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe your saying we sat here all week for 'friends' t come to us.

We mailed 'friends' but nothing come of it, also some 'friends' didn't bother replying. As said has been all single guys getting Intouch

West have a life outside of fab too, but putting a meet up the weekend before is surely plenty of notice for people to arrange something for the weekend. after?"

Your OP inferred you put a meet request up and didn't mail anyone, hence the replied to that. If you mailed people on your friends list and they didn't bother to reply then yes I think that's rude.

We usually mail people a month in advance.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I've found when I'm available it is best to advertise the fact generally and to also send out messages to select people to arrange something more specific.

It can still be a bit galling when you get about 20 peeps express an interesting meeting you when out dogging and only 1 shows up. On the plus side, it does save on a lot of wear and tear, though.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I don't think a weeks notice over a half term week is going to help you much, swinging is often a seasonal thing and things like school holidays will always impact the numbers who can meet or not.

People get busy, people have stuff to do and this is part of life the only suggestion is that you might be better off being a bit more selective on the friends list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe your saying we sat here all week for 'friends' t come to us.

We mailed 'friends' but nothing come of it, also some 'friends' didn't bother replying. As said has been all single guys getting Intouch

West have a life outside of fab too, bbut putting a meet up the weekend before is surely plenty of notice for people to arrange something for the weekend. after?

Are you free next weekend? If not can you change plans?

If the answer to either of those is no why be so put out that it's the same for others?

Plus how many on your friends list have you actually met? "

exactly this...we plan things weeks in advance in our non swingjng life...we have to bexause logistically it involves coordinating with loads of other people...we're lucky that we can also do spontaeity but fully understand that our friends can't...it's frustrating at times but hey ho...it's the nature of the game and there's always the option of a club if we find ourselves free and nobody can come and play...

but as we also say on our profile, a non reply indicates that they're probably no longer interested so we re_iew our friends list regularly and accordingly...

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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

"So you acknowledge you are rarely free but then feel a week's notice is sufficient for other people to meet you - spot the contradiction? "

A week's notice? - wish some of the people who contact me gave me that much notice - i got called a timewaster when i said no to a meet with 1 hours notice just because i was online at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/05/14 16:13:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Folk could simply have other plans esp round school hols.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe your saying we sat here all week for 'friends' t come to us.

We mailed 'friends' but nothing come of it, also some 'friends' didn't bother replying. As said has been all single guys getting Intouch

West have a life outside of fab too, but putting a meet up the weekend before is surely plenty of notice for people to arrange something for the weekend. after?"

A week is hardly any notice for Fab play or other things. Lives are full on and in order for us, for example, to sort out dog sitters, shifts, call out, other social commitments, dates I'm not on and days where we actually want to play, we would need more notice.

So you are being unrealistic I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what stopped you from messaging your friends list?

why didnt you try

or was you just waiting for a meet to happen with little effort

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

id say 80% of this site are talkers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be nice to think that a weeks notice is all that was needed but it isn't the case for a lot of people

I know what im doing every weekend until the end of July and have sorted out the 1 or 2 opportunities we have for meeting from here already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would be nice to think that a weeks notice is all that was needed but it isn't the case for a lot of people

I know what im doing every weekend until the end of July and have sorted out the 1 or 2 opportunities we have for meeting from here already

can u skweeze me in tonite doll?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would be nice to think that a weeks notice is all that was needed but it isn't the case for a lot of people

I know what im doing every weekend until the end of July and have sorted out the 1 or 2 opportunities we have for meeting from here already

can u skweeze me in tonite doll?"

If you start walking now you should be here by August

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I see meets on friends lists and wish I could attend but normally not child free. Ny friends know all about my lack of free time.

I saw a mert on a friends list recently but knew I couldn't attend as neefed to stay local.

Its sods law. It was half term so free time even less available for me. I was lucky last night both my kids were not with me. I know lots of people but put a meet tonight up as it had to be local. I met a great guy and had a grest time.

If my meet tonight was unsuccessful then it was a dvd nice foid and alcohol follwed by abusing my own body lol.

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By *aith boyMan
over a year ago

Worthing

maybe single males are fed up with trying to get meets, but as it is advertised acceptable for people (i would imagine couples and females mostly !!) are told its ok not to reply, they may start not bothering !!! personally i think not replying is bad manners.. but i'm just a single male...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"ok

what stopped you from messaging your friends list?

why didnt you try

or was you just waiting for a meet to happen with little effort

You obviously haven't read what has already been said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel your pain. I recently posted a thread on this very subject. I contacted and gave people a months notice, but no one could commit that far in advance. I gave the same people a weeks notice and that was suddenly not enough.

My advice would be to never plan to have fun in advance again. Just don't bother. Stick to short notice meets or meet at clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The thing with short notice meets is its random people that are looking that day.

Would be nice to have fun with 'friends'. But sadly that doesn't look like it's going to happen.

We always message our 'friends ' to stay in touch but it seems like it's always us for g the chasing. We never received messages from them (other than a selective few)

Which makes us think, all talk, no action just pervs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing with short notice meets is its random people that are looking that day.

Would be nice to have fun with 'friends'. But sadly that doesn't look like it's going to happen.

We always message our 'friends ' to stay in touch but it seems like it's always us for g the chasing. We never received messages from them (other than a selective few)

Which makes us think, all talk, no action just pervs! "

Maybe you could keep the friends list for people you actually meet and move the other 'friends' to your hot list...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I been having a meet up for a year and yes most are all talk lol x.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I do lots of talking and not much action. It must be what I say hahaha

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By *ittyticklerCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

This is quite disheartening for us to hear, as newbies. We'll be lucky to get out once a month.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

maybe dont collect friends and instead when you think you are going to be free put a post or status up ?

It's then pretty straight forward in chatting to people who might interest you or fit the bill.

I have been on here 3 yrs and only have 5 friends.

In all of that - if I meet, I rarely 'friend up' as we are usually on the same page of what we want. It's an unnecessary, as we have already seen face/body pics, so it just leave the time and place and the words "this is my address and number"

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