Free female massage Birmingham

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Any ladies fancy being terribly massaged by a completely inexperienced 28 year skinny old white guy?

If yes, I worry about your mental state but please do get in touch.

If no, please post a funny, sarcastic response for the amusement of other viewers

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Central

Nobody massages me terribly, but I can give very direct feedback and instruction, so that you get it right. My worst massage was from this German woman, who used super thick oil of olay. Sadly my language skills were not up to much. A heavy touch works wonders, deep tissue and lots of probing. My arms and hands may not be so relaxed, leaving time for two way working out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My boobs are really painful tonight so you can only blow on them. Also,I keep getting a twitchy itch in my left butt cheek,I think that could be pummelled out. My neck is a bit stiff (I watch a lot of porn in bed on my phone). Touch my feet and I'll kick you across the room

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

"My boobs are really painful tonight so you can only blow on them. Also,I keep getting a twitchy itch in my left butt cheek,I think that could be pummelled out. My neck is a bit stiff (I watch a lot of porn in bed on my phone). Touch my feet and I'll kick you across the room

If you have any OCD type tendencies, my right butt cheek could use a pummelling just to balance things out

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