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Married !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Say so in your first message or put it on your profile. People can then make an informed choice early on.

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By *ouple36DDCouple
over a year ago

Holloway


"Say so in your first message or put it on your profile. People can then make an informed choice early on."

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely include it in your first message, gives people the choice to chat or just move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just dont expect lots of sex..

u might get it from married women playing away........

thankfully u havent justified your reasons for playing away..

please inform ur wife tho..when u feel u have to justify why u need to play away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think honesty is the best policy. Some will not reply to a message or will state that they don't meet married men.

I personally don't mind if a guy is married, it's his choice to be here. We all have our own reasons to be here. And I for one am not here to judge people.

Hope you get what you are looking for. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer"

I'm married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer

I'm married "

So am I

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer"

I've heard that said before, why is that do you think?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"

please inform ur wife tho..when u feel u have to justify why u need to play away"

But if he does that she might stop swinging and then all the guys shagging her lose out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer

I've heard that said before, why is that do you think?"

Yeah I have heard it aswell and never understood it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your wife just messaged me. Thank god she told me she was married first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes "

Is that true though? I think although I have no evidence to back me up, that if a man or a woman is here as so many claim due to.lack of sex at home, that the chance of becoming emotionally attached to someone willing to provide that warmth and intimacy is greater.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes "

But surely if you were to get caught then there would be more chance of trouble?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes "

Oh ps yes "sometimes"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes

Is that true though? I think although I have no evidence to back me up, that if a man or a woman is here as so many claim due to.lack of sex at home, that the chance of becoming emotionally attached to someone willing to provide that warmth and intimacy is greater."

Good point, but I think 'most times' (that would be bold and underlined if I could lol) the married guys just want a Shag and nothing more. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes

Is that true though? I think although I have no evidence to back me up, that if a man or a woman is here as so many claim due to.lack of sex at home, that the chance of becoming emotionally attached to someone willing to provide that warmth and intimacy is greater."

I agree,I don't think that anyone who has a load of emotional baggage along with dealing with the cheating aspect is a safer bet at all,for me it just puts any arrangement on dodgy ground the minute its been made,too much can go wrong because of the secrecy aspect so I avoid getting involved from the off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes

But surely if you were to get caught then there would be more chance of trouble?"

For Him, yes, not us.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes

Is that true though? I think although I have no evidence to back me up, that if a man or a woman is here as so many claim due to.lack of sex at home, that the chance of becoming emotionally attached to someone willing to provide that warmth and intimacy is greater.

Good point, but I think 'most times' (that would be bold and underlined if I could lol) the married guys just want a Shag and nothing more. X"

Yes and the married women. I do sometimes almost smell neediness in some threads though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am married , and as previous post states,hassle free sex ..... That's all

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By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

When it comes to marrieds on here, people always make assumptions, which is simply wrong!

There is a range of reasons why a married person is on here, apart from the basic obvious. Also, as a group, their individual circumstances are many and varied.

So you don't want to meet marrieds, fine, not a problem. But I do think marrieds should make it clear on their profile.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"Say so in your first message or put it on your profile. People can then make an informed choice early on."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer

I've heard that said before, why is that do you think?

Yeah I have heard it aswell and never understood it "

A married man wont want to compromise his own position by "outing" a married woman. Simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes

Is that true though? I think although I have no evidence to back me up, that if a man or a woman is here as so many claim due to.lack of sex at home, that the chance of becoming emotionally attached to someone willing to provide that warmth and intimacy is greater."

I found the opposite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm married on paper only. I don't judge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer

I'm married "

Me too x here with full knowledge x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finally someone who does not judge , shame there is not more like you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer

I've heard that said before, why is that do you think?

Yeah I have heard it aswell and never understood it

A married man wont want to compromise his own position by "outing" a married woman. Simples"

I really don't see it as being safer,surely there would be more trouble if somebodys partner found out and wanted some form of revenge.Where as somebody who is single doesn't have that baggage or risk.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm married on paper only. I don't judge. "

Good and I don't think anyone else is on this thread.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer

I'm married

So am I "

So am I!!

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By *ucky1Man
over a year ago

a straightjacket

I have always put the fact that I'm married on my profile as seems to eliminate any doubts. I'm not suggesting you do the same OP, but it will save time in the long run and gives any female/couples the choice whether to mail you or not

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes

Is that true though? I think although I have no evidence to back me up, that if a man or a woman is here as so many claim due to.lack of sex at home, that the chance of becoming emotionally attached to someone willing to provide that warmth and intimacy is greater.

I found the opposite "

less chance of becoming emotionally attached? I suppose thinking about it that emotional attachement can strike at any time single or married

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Anyway OP put it on your profile then you're covered from the outset x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer

I'm married

So am I

So am I!! "

me too we both are ....to each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your prob right , only us married people's

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

If people want to swing with out their partners knowledge that's up to them .The non judgement works both ways too . people have choice to say no and have that respected.Not have to put up with alot throwing toys out the pram or wanting reason why you won't meet marrieds. I prefer that they make it clear on their profile and then people know and have the choice weaher they are happy with that situation.If yes then great but if no then just accept it and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !"

If people can't take it it is their problem !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/05/14 10:59:27]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

just do your thing with people who will do their thing with you......

as mentioned above, pop it on your profile to allow an informed choice.

and never justify why you are on here, nor expect others to justify whether they will meet you or NOT. When people start to do this, the thread goes tits up.

welcome and good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Say so in your first message or put it on your profile. People can then make an informed choice early on."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its always nice to see different people and how they like to meet different people..I just think married singles cant really add that much to the scene...other than quick fucks.

I prefer knowing I can meet someone and know I can spend hours,days etc with them and not be clock watching..or making sure i dont get spotted by someone I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Defo put it on your profile or say in first message if not happy to do that. I have on my profile that I don't meet married men but some still message me. I chatted to one guy recently who didn't make it known to me he was attached but decided to say the day before we'd arranged to meet. A week of wasted time texting and chatting on the phone but at least he eventually said before it went further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of (solo profile) guys & women on here are married or live with someone. Also lots of couples are fuck buddies & also live with partners etc. As long as you let people know either on profile or in messaging no big deal. Personally it makes no differenece to us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been seeing a married man for 2 years. The sex is fantastic. We chat more than I do with any other man I have sex with. I don't get any woe from him. He brightens up my life and I his. That is what sex with no emotion is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all about an individual preference I'm married & have a fb & hubby knows all, I have a preference for meeting attached guys because I seem to experience less problems with them. That said though the fb is single & yes it hasn't been as simple a relationship as with the attached guys, it seems to take more work x

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Say so in your first message or put it on your profile. People can then make an informed choice early on."

I state quite clearly that I'm married in my profile. And a man. And bi. And can't accommodate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would hate to be cheated on.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Damned if you do,damned if you don't really,if you want people to be aware then say it on your profile,some people prefer to meet married men as they feel its safer"

the funny thing is that it is normally married men that fire that gem out the make themselves stand out from the genuinely single guys.....

irony being they probably hadn't thought of the potential vengence from the other person finding out......

I tend to think that anything that would be considered to be a big potential "dealbreaker" so go on a profile just so that people are aware going in.... but heck as some people like to tell us "who reads a bloody profile anyway!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would hate to be cheated on."

like most people. I was and for no other reason than he thought I was cheating on him. Or it could have been an excuse to transfer his guilt. Who knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would hate to be cheated on.

like most people. I was and for no other reason than he thought I was cheating on him. Or it could have been an excuse to transfer his guilt. Who knows"

Really do you think that "most people" are cheated on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !"

Full stops work as well

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I would hate to be cheated on.

like most people. I was and for no other reason than he thought I was cheating on him. Or it could have been an excuse to transfer his guilt. Who knows

Really do you think that "most people" are cheated on?"

I read it as most people would hate it not that it happens to most.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would hate to be cheated on.

like most people. I was and for no other reason than he thought I was cheating on him. Or it could have been an excuse to transfer his guilt. Who knows

Really do you think that "most people" are cheated on?"

I would like to think no but I'm beginning to think quite a lot more do than I would imagine. From the people I know personally who cheat I feel the men did it for the sheer thrill of it. The women,for the attention they don't get at home. I don't condone it but I understand why they do it. My own husband was paranoid about me cheating but cheated on me. Doesn't make sense does it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would hate to be cheated on.

like most people. I was and for no other reason than he thought I was cheating on him. Or it could have been an excuse to transfer his guilt. Who knows

Really do you think that "most people" are cheated on?

I would like to think no but I'm beginning to think quite a lot more do than I would imagine. From the people I know personally who cheat I feel the men did it for the sheer thrill of it. The women,for the attention they don't get at home. I don't condone it but I understand why they do it. My own husband was paranoid about me cheating but cheated on me. Doesn't make sense does it "

No not really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would hate to be cheated on.

like most people. I was and for no other reason than he thought I was cheating on him. Or it could have been an excuse to transfer his guilt. Who knows

Really do you think that "most people" are cheated on?

I read it as most people would hate it not that it happens to most."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !"

I won't meet those attached, cheating or with permission. So I prefer to read it on profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !"

I would tell them at all. Why would you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow this is getting deep now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging is a contact sport that involves meeting someone before anything can really happen. So if you're married or fat or 10 years older than any of your pics or just a fantasist living in cloud cuckoo land....put it on your profile. It really is the only way you ever stand a chance of meeting anyone who may actually want to do something with you.

Sure by being honest you may drastically decrease your desirability on the site...but that's because you ARE less desirable as an option. You'll either have to put up with whoever will have you or change the situation.

If the possibility of never getting any 'swinging' action is a really big deal for you, and your wife is cool with it, you may need to involve her somehow. A good start would be to see if she'd like to be fucked by a gorgeous young man whilst you watch...that way you've incentivised the whole thing for her rather than twisted her arm

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I think you should put it on your profile, but at the end of the day...it's your profile, what you chose to put on is no-one's business but your own.

Everyone is here for reasons maybe others don't agree with but each to their own. Some will meet married men/women, some won't.

No-one has a right to judge......

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

Cheating isnt swinging, however you are here to do what you want to do, it would be unfair to include others in that web without giving them the choice to not meet you for that reason, therefore state it on your profile, that you are playing away to give people the choice is the fairest bit of advice to give on a swinging site.

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"I think you should put it on your profile, but at the end of the day...it's your profile, what you chose to put on is no-one's business but your own.

Everyone is here for reasons maybe others don't agree with but each to their own. Some will meet married men/women, some won't.

No-one has a right to

judge......"

sorry but everyone has the right to judge, we all judge everyday and we all have every right to do it, its a way of life.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

No-one has a right to

judge......

sorry but everyone has the right to judge, we all judge everyday and we all have every right to do it, its a way of life."

I don't, but maybe that's just me.....if I see something on someone's profile that does not appeal to me I just move on....not my place to judge them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are not here to judge others we are just here for fun.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"We are not here to judge others we are just here for fun. "

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I think you should put it on your profile, but at the end of the day...it's your profile, what you chose to put on is no-one's business but your own.

Everyone is here for reasons maybe others don't agree with but each to their own. Some will meet married men/women, some won't.

No-one has a right to judge......"

but we all jugde... next time you see someone out in a onesie for example... or a very short skirt on a saturday night....

or what someone looks like..

or sounds like..

or wears...

or acts....

just remind yourself of what you said....

for me it's blunt... if someone is prepared to be that dishonest with the person they profess to love more than any other, then just should I be nieve enough to believe that they will be honest with me...

its not a judgement... its a brutal assesment

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am happy to judge others and equally happy for them to exercise their choice to judge me....

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

The only time I will judge someone is if I'm on a jury

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you should put it on your profile, but at the end of the day...it's your profile, what you chose to put on is no-one's business but your own.

Everyone is here for reasons maybe others don't agree with but each to their own. Some will meet married men/women, some won't.

No-one has a right to judge......

but we all jugde... next time you see someone out in a onesie for example... or a very short skirt on a saturday night....

or what someone looks like..

or sounds like..

or wears...

or acts....

just remind yourself of what you said....

for me it's blunt... if someone is prepared to be that dishonest with the person they profess to love more than any other, then just should I be nieve enough to believe that they will be honest with me...

its not a judgement... its a brutal assesment"

To judge basically equals to assess or to condemn. I assess as is my right but don't condemn.

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"

No-one has a right to

judge......

sorry but everyone has the right to judge, we all judge everyday and we all have every right to do it, its a way of life.

I don't, but maybe that's just me.....if I see something on someone's profile that does not appeal to me I just move on....not my place to judge them"

everyone judges everyday, when you cross a road for example, you are judging it safe to cross, the phrase "no one has a right to judge" is thrown about all over, but is entirely wrong, what you do is choose to ignore things that dont bother you, so if a person cheating doesnt bother you, then you choose to ignore it, it doesnt mean it isnt wrong whatever the reason might be but you choose to ignore it, so you are making your judgement of ignoring it others make theres by not meeting them, everyone makes there judgement in one way or another.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

everyone judges everyday, when you cross a road for example, you are judging it safe to cross, the phrase "no one has a right to judge" is thrown about all over, but is entirely wrong, what you do is choose to ignore things that dont bother you, so if a person cheating doesnt bother you, then you choose to ignore it, it doesnt mean it isnt wrong whatever the reason might be but you choose to ignore it, so you are making your judgement of ignoring it others make theres by not meeting them, everyone makes there judgement in one way or another."

Judging to cross the road for example is entirely different, I'm talking about judging people. I may judge them in my head but I certainly wouldn't voice my opinion, until you have lived that other persons life then I think it's wrong.

If that person does not meet your tastes or requirements then move on....done and dusted, if that's how they wish to conduct themselves then good for them

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !"

I put it on my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as I've said, theres many differing types of meets..

I've met quite a few guys(not for myself lol), in gangbangs and the odd party

Most of us on this lifestyle want no strings sex...which is why we dont (most of us) need to delve deep into someones life(are they really married?(show me proof)(do they actually work?))..that sorta stuff.

meet someone in a club..how much do u ask...do u really want to know X amount of details?

I'm not condoning cheating at all..but some people jump on the bandwagon too easily to say they wouldnt meet cheaters..

and sorry if the word cheater appears derogatory...but it is.. as I dont understand lying to someone I really shouldnt be lying to..

I dont care who i play with, if they are cheating or not..if faced with their other half..I'd just make it clear I shag lots of people and dont ask details.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because a person is married, whether it be the man or the woman & playing without the others knowledge, it doesn't necessarily mean they are not happy in their marriage.

It might be that they want to try or experience different things which thier spouse is not into. The could be any number of reasons & I don't think that it is any of my business to query why they are here. I have played with a married guy & don't have a problem with it. And we are both discrete & that suits me. xx

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

At the end of the day, I don't care what people's reasons are for being on here, and unless they wish to tell me......it's none of my business

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Finally someone who does not judge , shame there is not more like you "

Not meeting married people doesn't mean taking some moral high ground and judging. Married men are a group I don't play with because they don't meet my play needs.

I've had married men ask me not to wear perfume, turn up with perfume their wife wears etc to not leave a scent trail. They're also mindful of being marked...never understood that considering I'm a Domme! Besides, shaved pubes and a temporary tattoo proclaiming "property of Miss Vee" would need some explaining to the wife!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just want to clarify here that some married men have the full consent of their wives to play solo...as long as they tell them everything and abide by certain rules. I would urge the ladies to consider a married man playing solo with consent to be a totally different fish from one who's trying to cover his tracks. Married men, playing with consent, are, I would suggest, the safest of all the NSA options available to women, preferable even over supposedly single men...who may be keeping a certain little secret

The only thing I would suggest is that a married man playing with consent would need to be able to prove that firstly by letting the woman in question talk to, and perhaps even meet, his wife. Once this has been done, however, I would say, once again, it's definitely the safest of all the NSA options for a woman...at least from my point of _iew...obviously there are some pretty unkind men out there in abusive relationships so you'd need to steer clear of them.

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"

everyone judges everyday, when you cross a road for example, you are judging it safe to cross, the phrase "no one has a right to judge" is thrown about all over, but is entirely wrong, what you do is choose to ignore things that dont bother you, so if a person cheating doesnt bother you, then you choose to ignore it, it doesnt mean it isnt wrong whatever the reason might be but you choose to ignore it, so you are making your judgement of ignoring it others make theres by not meeting them, everyone makes there judgement in one way or another.

Judging to cross the road for example is entirely different, I'm talking about judging people. I may judge them in my head but I certainly wouldn't voice my opinion, until you have lived that other persons life then I think it's wrong.

If that person does not meet your tastes or requirements then move on....done and dusted, if that's how they wish to conduct themselves then good for them"

your statement was no one has the right to judge, im explaining how everyone judges including yourself on a daily basis, and even when its in your head you are still judging, even if you are judging to play with a married person, or judging to ignore the fact they are married, the word "judging" or statement "right to judge" only ever comes up when someone complains of people not meeting married/playing away people on a swinging site, it doesnt change the fact every single person has a right to judge whether they want to play with a married person or not and shouldnt have to give reasons why or why not they will or wont, they also shouldnt be told they have no right to judge just because they wont play with someone who is cheating, the simple thing is for marrieds to put it on there profile and let people make an informed decision about who they wish to meet, after all a big part of swinging is openess and honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I'm not willing to act as someone else's conscience so I leave those moral decisions to the other party. I would not ever intentionally look for married folk but for us - both as a couple and alone - it's actually been less complicated with those few people we've met who are married when we look at them as a whole.

Baggage is something a lot of people have, married or not and meeting with singles is no guarantee you won't have a bumpy ride.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am lol ! Mind I did start it ! Glad I did and I'm gonna stick to my guns and say straight out !

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"I am lol ! Mind I did start it ! Glad I did and I'm gonna stick to my guns and say straight out !"

best way to do it, there are people out there that will play with married people/cheats even on a swinging site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I'm not willing to act as someone else's conscience so I leave those moral decisions to the other party. I would not ever intentionally look for married folk but for us - both as a couple and alone - it's actually been less complicated with those few people we've met who are married when we look at them as a whole.

Baggage is something a lot of people have, married or not and meeting with singles is no guarantee you won't have a bumpy ride."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just want to clarify here that some married men have the full consent of their wives to play solo...as long as they tell them everything and abide by certain rules. I would urge the ladies to consider a married man playing solo with consent to be a totally different fish from one who's trying to cover his tracks. Married men, playing with consent, are, I would suggest, the safest of all the NSA options available to women, preferable even over supposedly single men...who may be keeping a certain little secret

The only thing I would suggest is that a married man playing with consent would need to be able to prove that firstly by letting the woman in question talk to, and perhaps even meet, his wife. Once this has been done, however, I would say, once again, it's definitely the safest of all the NSA options for a woman...at least from my point of _iew...obviously there are some pretty unkind men out there in abusive relationships so you'd need to steer clear of them."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can live with not admiting it and play the game, why say it as it might get less offers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you can live with not admiting it and play the game, why say it as it might get less offers."

Because some people prefer not to meet married/attached men for many reasons so would appreciate honesty from someone who was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And just to add, if you are thinking of cheating and decide to start a thread about do you think I should mention it on my profile then ask your wife/gf for her appinon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you can live with not admiting it and play the game, why say it as it might get less offers.

Because some people prefer not to meet married/attached men for many reasons so would appreciate honesty from someone who was."
Yes your right there as well .

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By *uzi Jones 26Woman
over a year ago

The Devil's Lair


"Some people feel safer with married meets as they are (sometimes) less likely to become a nuisance/stalker etc

I did say, sometimes

Is that true though? I think although I have no evidence to back me up, that if a man or a woman is here as so many claim due to.lack of sex at home, that the chance of becoming emotionally attached to someone willing to provide that warmth and intimacy is greater."

Can most certainly vouch for this. Not to tar anyone with the same brush by any means, however I now choose not to meet married/attached individuals for those reasons.

Yes I do realise I am about to be shot down for personal preferrence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you can live with not admiting it and play the game, why say it as it might get less offers.

Because some people prefer not to meet married/attached men for many reasons so would appreciate honesty from someone who was."

But those people themselves might be on the site for duplicitous reasons...looking to find a mate instead of just looking for NSA fun. Otherwise why would they have a problem playing with married people who had the consent of their partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing I don't understand is married men mostly and not woman.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you can live with not admiting it and play the game, why say it as it might get less offers.

Because some people prefer not to meet married/attached men for many reasons so would appreciate honesty from someone who was.

But those people themselves might be on the site for duplicitous reasons...looking to find a mate instead of just looking for NSA fun. Otherwise why would they have a problem playing with married people who had the consent of their partner?"

I'm speaking from my perspective as I want no part of playing with someone else's partner whether they know or not, its just not for me and another preference as we all have on here. I can't speak for others who don't wish to meet married men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just want to clarify here that some married men have the full consent of their wives to play solo...as long as they tell them everything and abide by certain rules. I would urge the ladies to consider a married man playing solo with consent to be a totally different fish from one who's trying to cover his tracks. Married men, playing with consent, are, I would suggest, the safest of all the NSA options available to women, preferable even over supposedly single men...who may be keeping a certain little secret

The only thing I would suggest is that a married man playing with consent would need to be able to prove that firstly by letting the woman in question talk to, and perhaps even meet, his wife. Once this has been done, however, I would say, once again, it's definitely the safest of all the NSA options for a woman...at least from my point of _iew...obviously there are some pretty unkind men out there in abusive relationships so you'd need to steer clear of them.

"

Agreed, knowing Mr D as I do I know he's a very safe bet for a woman, he's a very light-hearted soul and I have been happy to be available for the female to talk to or meet if the need is there. I'm also fine if they don't want to but in their situation I'd probably want to or piece of mind if the issue of fidelity is important or just to feel safer.

Mr D has met my meets for my safety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why dont they be honest n let their partners go n find someone who aint cheating on fab???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Again we're having a culture clash between all the singles who are looking to date each other and can't think of anything more disgusting than swinging...and all the swingers who can't see what the problem is as long as both parties are involved in a mature way It would be funny if it wasn't happening on a swinging site lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If u a couple both agreeing then yh thats diff, but when wifey at hm looking after the kids, while hubby getting fucked, has no idea and there life would fall apart if they knew!!! But the funniest thing is that if it happend to them they'd be devestated!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a guy in Xtasia a while back, got on really well, he lived quite local to me and we met a few times after. I'd asked him at the club if he was single and he said yes. He gave me no reason to think otherwise as we met evenings and weekends. I later received several abusive texts and a nasty voicemail from his girlfriend who had obviously seen some messages from me on his phone. I was mortified, I'd hate to think how she felt. I want no strings meets, not hassle and grief which is why I choose not to play with attached men full stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want no strings meets, not hassle and grief which is why I choose not to play with attached men full stop."

So instead you'd rather play with men who are pretending to be single? Sounds like that's how you got into trouble in the first place

Again, I say, there's nothing safer than married people who are playing with the consent of their partner. To brandish them all as trouble is a bit unfair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want no strings meets, not hassle and grief which is why I choose not to play with attached men full stop.

So instead you'd rather play with men who are pretending to be single? Sounds like that's how you got into trouble in the first place

Again, I say, there's nothing safer than married people who are playing with the consent of their partner. To brandish them all as trouble is a bit unfair."

I asked if he was single and he was dishonest, I'm not a mind reader and I'm not brandishing all of them as trouble, I just choose not to meet them as some on here would choose not to meet squadies or smokers. Its a preference, that's all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Beginning to think I've started world war 3 with this thread ! Still I guess it's got people talking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! "

Do you think it's fair on your wife or do you tell her when you message people - just to be 'fair'??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No it's not fair on the wife ! I'm not making any excuses ! I know it's wrong but I have my private reasons , I say it's only fair ! meaning to the people on here !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just want to clarify here that some married men have the full consent of their wives to play solo...as long as they tell them everything and abide by certain rules. I would urge the ladies to consider a married man playing solo with consent to be a totally different fish from one who's trying to cover his tracks. Married men, playing with consent, are, I would suggest, the safest of all the NSA options available to women, preferable even over supposedly single men...who may be keeping a certain little secret

The only thing I would suggest is that a married man playing with consent would need to be able to prove that firstly by letting the woman in question talk to, and perhaps even meet, his wife. Once this has been done, however, I would say, once again, it's definitely the safest of all the NSA options for a woman...at least from my point of _iew...obviously there are some pretty unkind men out there in abusive relationships so you'd need to steer clear of them."

I don't think I would meet one half of a married couple with the other half's consent. Can't really say exactly why, it just would seem weird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !"

It's too late once you've chatted a bit. Tell them in the first message or on your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/05/14 17:54:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !"

OP what would you feel if your wife wanted to swing?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I won't lie ! I wouldn't like it ! And yes that makes me a hypocrite .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! "

Do you think it's fair on your wife or do you tell her when you message people - just to be 'fair'??"
do u think its fair ur wife loving u to death when u fucking about!!! N if u a women happy to shag a married/ attached man well when u get some lady on ur door kicking off then it'll all be worth it eh :-/

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


""

do u think its fair ur wife loving u to death when u fucking about!!! N if u a women happy to shag a married/ attached man well when u get some lady on ur door kicking off then it'll all be worth it eh :-/ "
l

How do you know his wife loves him to death???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Say so in your first message or put it on your profile. People can then make an informed choice early on.

Agree "

Ditto

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Don't know how to end a thread ! But respect all _iews ! But prefer to move on now ! And yes I've took a lot on board !

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By *uggarbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Say so in your first message or put it on your profile. People can then make an informed choice early on.

Agree

Ditto"

I agree. I hate it when I get chatting, red to organise a social then get oh by the way I'm married. .It seriously pisses me off. I have it on my profile as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Say so in your first message or put it on your profile. People can then make an informed choice early on.

Agree

Ditto

I agree. I hate it when I get chatting, red to organise a social then get oh by the way I'm married. .It seriously pisses me off. I have it on my profile as well. "

I thought it was just me that got that!! Had it recently, the day before the meet, a week of wasted time texting and chatting on the phone when its clear on my profile too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"its always nice to see different people and how they like to meet different people..I just think married singles cant really add that much to the scene...other than quick fucks.

I prefer knowing I can meet someone and know I can spend hours,days etc with them and not be clock watching..or making sure i dont get spotted by someone I know"

Well its a good job you're not allowed to write the rule book...

Quite frankly you really have no right dictating what's right and what's wrong, your first reply to the OP was a little judgemental

But you seem to have a thwarted _iew that the 'swingers' scene should have applicants that meet a certain criteria..that pleases you

Man or woman has no right to judge another...

Admire your honesty OP.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why dont they be honest n let their partners go n find someone who aint cheating on fab??? "

Maybe you should write your own little rule book too.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I best leave before I get a ban....lot of sanctimonious advice from the usuals on here..I'll move to a more fun less judgmental room..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !"

I think that is important information and I would consider it lying by omission if not brought up in the profile or first message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best to state on your profile that you're attached/marriage. It gives people an informed choice whether to accept it or not from the outset.

P

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"its always nice to see different people and how they like to meet different people..I just think married singles cant really add that much to the scene...other than quick fucks.

I prefer knowing I can meet someone and know I can spend hours,days etc with them and not be clock watching..or making sure i dont get spotted by someone I know

Well its a good job you're not allowed to write the rule book...

Quite frankly you really have no right dictating what's right and what's wrong, your first reply to the OP was a little judgemental

But you seem to have a thwarted _iew that the 'swingers' scene should have applicants that meet a certain criteria..that pleases you

Man or woman has no right to judge another...

Admire your honesty OP.)"

as I explained earlier in this thread, everyone has a right to judge, its part of life, some people will judge it that they will play with married/cheating people most judge it they wont, the judgemental card is always thrown out when people air there _iews and others dont like these _iews, but when someone chooses to play with a married person/cheat they are judging it, in there _iew ok to do so, are they judgemental?, do they have no right to do that, of course they do it is there choice to do so, as it is for the majority to judge not to play with marrieds/cheats, every single person judges regularly on a daily basis and it is there right to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Finally someone who does not judge , shame there is not more like you "

We all make judgements based on the facts we are presented with. I judge that I'm more likely to get a scorned wife sending me abusive texts if I have sex with a married man rather than a single man. In my judgement younger men are more likely to sustain an erection than someone in their fifties. I make an informed judgement that I will be more successful if I have a breast picture on my profile.

We all judge it is essential to do so in order to minimise risk and succeed in what we do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am married and that fact has been stated on my profile since Day One on here. For sure reducing my chances, but hasn't been a problem to get meets.

Many times I had the problem with women getting too emotionally attached to me, this is why I prefer to meet stable, experience couples mainly, as less risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/05/14 08:37:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should say so on your profile, stop those that dont want to meet cheats from the effort of messaging you, only to discover your profile is dishonest and then blocking you.

Although why strangers can expect honesty from you when your own wife cant is the bigger mystery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !"

You are not scum and some people are just 2 faced. Society in general would say that about swingers and they wouldn't like it but happy to put others down. Some wont mind you being attached some will just be honest with people and then they can choose.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm Married and I usually admit it on my first message ! As I think it's only fair ! Is this the best way or should I wait till I've chatted a bit ? I realise some people will just say I'm scum and shouldn't be on here at all !

You are not scum and some people are just 2 faced. Society in general would say that about swingers and they wouldn't like it but happy to put others down. Some wont mind you being attached some will just be honest with people and then they can choose."

What do you mean by some people being two faced?

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