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Advice required

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By *laction man OP   Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Situation:

I met this beautiful petite blonde that I have taken on as my new sub. We made it clear that it was just about sex.

However she recently said to me that she wants to break the boundaries and fuck me instead of 'Sir'.

I need a way to stop her from getting emotional but not push her away as a sub. I'm looking for advice mostly from experienced Doms and subs but any advice would be appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/04/14 20:52:08]

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

If you have taken her on as your new sub then surely it's you that needs to have a chat with yourself not her?

If you hadn't have 'taken her on' she would not be in a position to leave her dom and come to you. If you would have kept it to fuck buddies but kept a d/s twist there wouldnt be an issue as she would still have her dom.

Actually this is a bit confusing as you you knew she had a dom yet by all counts, played without his consent. Most Doms would know this is a line not to be crossed until a sub is released or leaves her master.

Essentially you want the pussy without the responsibility - something which if 'you have taken her on' - as a "dom" you would know is a little disrespectful.

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By *laction man OP   Man
over a year ago

Nottingham


"If you have taken her on as your new sub then surely it's you that needs to have a chat with yourself not her?

If you hadn't have 'taken her on' she would not be in a position to leave her dom and come to you. If you would have kept it to fuck buddies but kept a d/s twist there wouldnt be an issue as she would still have her dom.

Actually this is a bit confusing as you you knew she had a dom yet by all counts, played without his consent. Most Doms would know this is a line not to be crossed until a sub is released or leaves her master.

Essentially you want the pussy without the responsibility - something which if 'you have taken her on' - as a "dom" you would know is a little disrespectful. "

I probably wasn't very clear earlier. She didn't have a Dom previously. She and I went on a normal date and I mentioned that it was something I did in the past. She said she never tried it or thought of it, we mentioned nothing more of it at the time. Later that night in bed I noticed through her body language etc that she was being very submissive. I responded, gave her what she wanted and Dommed her, but I kept it very light, this went on for several weeks. It was certainly my fault for not training her better but now it seems she's developing an emotional link and I'm wondering if there is anything I can do to reverse it without pushing her away.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I'll leave it to others as I'm confused - you said

"she recently said to me that she wants to break the boundaries and fuck me instead of 'Sir'."

meaning she wants or wanted to leave her dom for you, but now she didnt have a dom.

If you want to get out of a relationship, maybe bring up online bdsm sites, ask her if she is on any or if she meets anyone on them. It may give you an angle to say ... I meet on XXX site ?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"I'll leave it to others as I'm confused - you said

"she recently said to me that she wants to break the boundaries and fuck me instead of 'Sir'."

meaning she wants or wanted to leave her dom for you, but now she didnt have a dom.

If you want to get out of a relationship, maybe bring up online bdsm sites, ask her if she is on any or if she meets anyone on them. It may give you an angle to say ... I meet on XXX site ?"

Me = him as a person

Sir = him as a dom

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"I'll leave it to others as I'm confused - you said

"she recently said to me that she wants to break the boundaries and fuck me instead of 'Sir'."

meaning she wants or wanted to leave her dom for you, but now she didnt have a dom.

If you want to get out of a relationship, maybe bring up online bdsm sites, ask her if she is on any or if she meets anyone on them. It may give you an angle to say ... I meet on XXX site ?

Me = him as a person

Sir = him as a dom"

it reads me instead of sir, not one in the same - though on killing my brian cells in interpreting this - it would mean she doesnt want a dom just him?????

*I'm amazing if I have figured that out all by myself?????

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

lol

*brain cells even lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but a D/S relationship is based on a awful lot of trust and respect. She's also very new to it all so its no wonder she's falling for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

communication. communication. communication. Sorry, i know this sounds obvious, but I really think you need to be clear and honest about your expectations. Once she knows where she stands, she can make her mind up if what you offer is what she wants.

You could also ask her some questions such as what she thinks is missing with the D/s that you just being you would give her.

The more you talk to each other, the more you grow. Honesty is the key.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Got a blinding way out!

Tell her you are only ever play dom! !

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By *laction man OP   Man
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Sorry but a D/S relationship is based on a awful lot of trust and respect. She's also very new to it all so its no wonder she's falling for you."

I agree, it's such a fine balance there. Its tough to maintain the trust without letting the emotions get involved

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

You of need to sit down and chat with her.

Maybe not see her as often as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you have taken her on as your new sub then surely it's you that needs to have a chat with yourself not her?

If you hadn't have 'taken her on' she would not be in a position to leave her dom and come to you. If you would have kept it to fuck buddies but kept a d/s twist there wouldnt be an issue as she would still have her dom.

Actually this is a bit confusing as you you knew she had a dom yet by all counts, played without his consent. Most Doms would know this is a line not to be crossed until a sub is released or leaves her master.

Essentially you want the pussy without the responsibility - something which if 'you have taken her on' - as a "dom" you would know is a little disrespectful. "

oh I want a dom like you

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By *laction man OP   Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Thanks everyone for your ideas/advice, I think the ideal solution is a combination of several of these responses.

Mainly 'I only do Dom' lol

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By *laction man OP   Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Lisette sounds like my kind of girl lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are a dom and you have a sub, he is Master of that girl . If she is fucking someone else behind his back , she is being very disrespectful to him and you . If you are a Dom you would have to respect his ownership , and ask permission to play. BDSM is about Respect, Honesty and Trust. If a girl/boy cannot honour that, then they are not worthy to that Master or Dom

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Thanks everyone for your ideas/advice, I think the ideal solution is a combination of several of these responses.

Mainly 'I only do Dom' lol"

You only do Dom but you met her on a vanilla date and it was in bed you noticed her sub side?

By anyone's standards you have been mixing your signals.

And from the sounds of it she's had a dabble and decided that, though she will always have some sub tendencies, that's not what she's after.

If you date vanillas you can't complain if they go vanilla on you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really know much about the Dom sub scene but to me you don't really sound like much of a Dom if you can't handle this?

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By *laymates69Man
over a year ago

Camberley

[Removed by poster at 30/04/14 22:38:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're domming someone of course they are going to develop feelings for their Sir. You yourself are inexperienced (which is absolutely fine) if you haven't known this is coming. You need to define the parameters of your relationship and allow her the choice to stay in or not. If she just stays in as your sub because she wants you and that's the only way she can have you it's a recipe for unhappiness in the long term.

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