FabSwingers.com forum: Can you teach technique?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So last night I met up with an old friend from a few years back (fab unrelated) that I'd never quite gotten to sleep with - I was really excited as our chemistry outside of the bedroom is amazing.

We got home and all I can say is I am just sooooo unsatisfied.

It was the very "pow pow pow pow pow" jack rabbit kind of sex, no foreplay, no touching or fondling.

I was doing my best to encourage - show him how I like to be touched then encourage him to do the same but it was just a no-go.

I recall the words "well I don't go down on people, but you can go down on me" coming out of his mouth too.

So what I guess my question is, do I persevere and try to teach him or is it a lost cause and to just give up?

Love, a very VERY frustrated Brunette. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think in certain ways you can teach technique. or more aptly, how to reciprocate attention. this gentleman, it seems, would probably be one i wouldn't attempt with. the 'i don't go down on people but you can go down on me' smacks of a selfish nature and i'd personally give him a wide berth. only if he asked why i'd gone off things, i'd tell him...without being rude.... that i need more from sex and what i meant by 'more'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother"

Same here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/04/14 18:30:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can teach someone how to please you, absolutely. I have been slowly doing it with a guy who I met in Jan but he's receptive to it, I think that's the key.

If they're selfish however I think you might be banging your head against a brick-wall.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother"

Sounds like he's either pretty inexperienced, just wanted to blow his beans or that is just what he likes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother"

this, plus the line 'I dont go down on anyone but you can go down on me' speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned.

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By *effrey45Man
over a year ago

Lytham

I am amazed by how many of my mates don't go down on women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

this, plus the line 'I dont go down on anyone but you can go down on me' speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned. "

I personally would not bother with any one who had that attitude. But then again I am a bloke and am very shallow

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By *ornyspiceCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Such a Shame after perving your profile you look such a beautiful lady, well you could always try on here lol, mind the fakes they are lurking around pmsl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just don't like giving oral sex. As long as they make up for it in other ways it doesn't bother me. I prefer giving anyway and find not many are as good as mrnotts returning the favour

Maybe it's a taste thing. Not everyone likes spunk either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think in certain ways you can teach technique. or more aptly, how to reciprocate attention. this gentleman, it seems, would probably be one i wouldn't attempt with. the 'i don't go down on people but you can go down on me' smacks of a selfish nature and i'd personally give him a wide berth. only if he asked why i'd gone off things, i'd tell him...without being rude.... that i need more from sex and what i meant by 'more'. "

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bin him. Good foreplay is a must

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Anyone who expects oral and expects not to reciprocate is not in want of a few hints or tips. They're in want of a sit down chat with a Powerpoint presentation about eating ones cake and having it too.

'Technique' is the way someone carries out a task. If he's got this far without someone saying 'good god man what are you doing?' then he might be beyond gentle guidance. Get a whip and a taser and use them!

Or find someone who can do it to your liking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guys.

Part of me would like to persevere but 95% of me just simply can't be bothered if I'm honest.

I enjoy foreplay, touching, exploring. I'm guessing he's just less experienced than he says he is or is just purely a selfish lover.

The ONLY place his hands touched me was my breasts as I said I loved them played with - and he HURT them.

I think I just need a moan too, I know I won't be pursuing this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He has to want to please you in every way for him to be able to learn the techniques you can show him to really give you what you want in bed! If he is set in his ways, good luck! You have to do what you feel is right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really I think a great sexual technique comes down to great sexual chemistry. When I remember some of my favourite meets, I don't remember ever doing anything particularly different with them that I did with anyone else, it was just the sheer excitement of having sex with THEM that I enjoyed so much, and judging from their reactions, my own savouring of those feelings had a positive effect on them too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah cause with him it seems like a decision attitude thing - so unless he is prepared to change he will get left behind in the sex world as he gets older.

My bf is young and had only done oral once. So I taught him and my god is he good for me cause he does it exactly how i like it and can make me cum every time ! Lol x so yes for those " willing" to learn it can certainly be taught xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really I think a great sexual technique comes down to great sexual chemistry. When I remember some of my favourite meets, I don't remember ever doing anything particularly different with them that I did with anyone else, it was just the sheer excitement of having sex with THEM that I enjoyed so much, and judging from their reactions, my own savouring of those feelings had a positive effect on them too."

!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You know I've come to the conclusion that that's how he gets his rocks off, I've had a few messages saying how amazing last night was etc.

Gutted, gutted, gutted!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"You know I've come to the conclusion that that's how he gets his rocks off, I've had a few messages saying how amazing last night was etc.

Gutted, gutted, gutted! "

You know what. You win some you lose some. You would have always been wondering what if. Now you know and can chalk it down to experience. I had something similar with a guy I had a few dates with. So excited for the bedroom antics, but oh so disappointed when it actually happened. Selfish lovers are the worse.

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By *hunderstruckMan
over a year ago

Northampton

As a horny male who loves to eat pussy

I can't believe the amount of women ( in my youth early 20s ) who pushed me away if I tried to go down .....

Although I love going down I'm not too bothered if she doesn't return the favour , as a bj doesn't do it for me

If he don't do " it " he will avoid it at all times

It's marmite mmmmm

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Thanks guys.

Part of me would like to persevere but 95% of me just simply can't be bothered if I'm honest.

I enjoy foreplay, touching, exploring. I'm guessing he's just less experienced than he says he is or is just purely a selfish lover.

The ONLY place his hands touched me was my breasts as I said I loved them played with - and he HURT them.

I think I just need a moan too, I know I won't be pursuing this

Sounds to me like he is a man without any feel. Technique can be taught, but without good feel (or the right feel for you) it will never be much good in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love learning how to please a playmate, sometimes everything you try first works like a charm and other times you have to work out what makes them weak at the knees.

I find this especially true when performing oral on a woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he is used to being a splash and dash, if you get together again tell him, if he continues to be selfish his loss.

Her

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By *unPeteMan
over a year ago

Near Bristol

Of course you can teach technique but you need a willing student ... a man who can not only breathe through his ears but also can listen through his ears!

If he 'don't go down on people' then it might be best to move on but that can only be your decision.

It sounds like there was no chemistry in the bedroom so perhaps it would be better to concentrate on the 'amazing' chemistry you both have outside!

I hope it hasn't ruined your old friendship!

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

[Removed by poster at 25/04/14 05:59:19]

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

Cors you can learn technique but you need a pupil willing to learn. This guy as you and others say sounds selfish,surely its best if both?all parties have enjoyment.

I always say to new partners if I do something right or wrong tell me. Mostly you can tell what she likes with how her body responds. Some like it soft others hard some fast some slow etc etc

Some dont like oral,my last gf wouldnt let me go down on her but she'd go down on me. I dont know why she wouldnt but I respected her decision even though I love giving

She dint like to swallow but Im not bothered about that,it was quite funny when she got a mouthful,she'd say...I'll be right back and it sounded strange with a mouthful,and she'd run to the toilet and spit. Personally I'da loved a snowball,coz I think theyre soooo horny but she wouldnt try one. Back to the OP give up and have fun with ppl that want you to have a good time,not JUST them. Fun/love is a twoway street..... Or it should be

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

id bin him .. foreplay is so much part of good sex .. try to walk him through once more if you like but if he cant put himself in your place and pick up on what you like he sounds too selfish to spontaneously give you the thrills you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks guys.

Part of me would like to persevere but 95% of me just simply can't be bothered if I'm honest.

I enjoy foreplay, touching, exploring. I'm guessing he's just less experienced than he says he is or is just purely a selfish lover.

The ONLY place his hands touched me was my breasts as I said I loved them played with - and he HURT them.

I think I just need a moan too, I know I won't be pursuing this

I think you have answered your own question love. Bin him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would go back for a second go! Only because you say you are great Out of bed. I would however start some text sex off and steer it what you would like "it would really turn me on if you .... " then if it is as shit second time round you tried!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know I've come to the conclusion that that's how he gets his rocks off, I've had a few messages saying how amazing last night was etc.

Gutted, gutted, gutted! "

You should reply !!! And say well you didn't rock my world sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit late now to tell him you thought it was crap. I wouldn't tell him it was crap- he obviously loved it. Neither of you are 'wrong' in the way you do things, you're just not compatible. If it was me I'd say I had fun and stay friends but never have sex with him again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bit late now to tell him you thought it was crap. I wouldn't tell him it was crap- he obviously loved it. Neither of you are 'wrong' in the way you do things, you're just not compatible. If it was me I'd say I had fun and stay friends but never have sex with him again. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know I've come to the conclusion that that's how he gets his rocks off, I've had a few messages saying how amazing last night was etc.

Gutted, gutted, gutted!

You should reply !!! And say well you didn't rock my world sorry "

I'd ask what he did

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah... It definitely won't be a 'stay friends' situation, as we were never really 'friends' before - more an old dating thing with potential that fizzled out.

Sweet guy, personality lovely, physically my type - just sexually incompatible which is a strike off in my book.

Another one bites the dust!

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By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Keep a friend, lose a lover xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you can. A man (or woman) has to be in tune with another person for it to be amazing or good even. Knowing which parts of a person are more sensitive and what they like plays a big part in sex. I met a not very experienced young man who I can say is one of my best experiences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recall the words "well I don't go down on people"

I have had this said to me before

a bit disappointing but the sex was good enough for a second meet, (not on fab)

I would try him again but on your terms,

He has to listen to you or meet you halfway on how you want to have sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Selfish bloke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if he is open to being manipulated and trying to make the experience more satisfying for the person he is with, then its always worth persevering with.

however, if he is of the mindset that as long as he is sorted it doesnt really matter, and he sounds like this could be the case, then i wouldnt waste any more of your time with him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there was no foreplay I wouldn't have sex I just couldn't do it foreplay is a very big part of sex so to be honest if he isn't willing to try then .....say bye

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Thanks guys.

Part of me would like to persevere but 95% of me just simply can't be bothered if I'm honest.

I enjoy foreplay, touching, exploring. I'm guessing he's just less experienced than he says he is or is just purely a selfish lover.

The ONLY place his hands touched me was my breasts as I said I loved them played with - and he HURT them.

I think I just need a moan too, I know I won't be pursuing this

"
aww . i missed the bit where he hurt your boobs ... thats just plain wrong ... bin him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If there was no foreplay I wouldn't have sex I just couldn't do it foreplay is a very big part of sex so to be honest if he isn't willing to try then .....say bye "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He would even touch you until you asked him to. And then he hurt you!. He sounds insensitive and selfish and that's the way his mind works. You can't change that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bin him. Good foreplay is a must

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother"

Thats about it only you know if he is worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can teach a man so much but some men just havnt got it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

this, plus the line 'I dont go down on anyone but you can go down on me' speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned. "

Seriously, in 2014, is there still a man on this planet who can seriously say that?

I lose faith in humanity...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

this, plus the line 'I dont go down on anyone but you can go down on me' speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned.

Seriously, in 2014, is there still a man on this planet who can seriously say that?

I lose faith in humanity... "

There are quite a lot of men who say they don't go down. Also some that say it's the best thing in the world to do and then don't do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

this, plus the line 'I dont go down on anyone but you can go down on me' speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned.

Seriously, in 2014, is there still a man on this planet who can seriously say that?

I lose faith in humanity...

There are quite a lot of men who say they don't go down. Also some that say it's the best thing in the world to do and then don't do it"

I never believe what they say they will do, its not that important but am sometimes very pleasantly surprised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

this, plus the line 'I dont go down on anyone but you can go down on me' speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned.

Seriously, in 2014, is there still a man on this planet who can seriously say that?

I lose faith in humanity...

There are quite a lot of men who say they don't go down. Also some that say it's the best thing in the world to do and then don't do it

I never believe what they say they will do, its not that important but am sometimes very pleasantly surprised."

I find the men that talk a lot about what they are going to do never do it. I avoid them now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

this, plus the line 'I dont go down on anyone but you can go down on me' speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned.

Seriously, in 2014, is there still a man on this planet who can seriously say that?

I lose faith in humanity...

There are quite a lot of men who say they don't go down. Also some that say it's the best thing in the world to do and then don't do it

I never believe what they say they will do, its not that important but am sometimes very pleasantly surprised.

I find the men that talk a lot about what they are going to do never do it. I avoid them now "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

this, plus the line 'I dont go down on anyone but you can go down on me' speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned.

Seriously, in 2014, is there still a man on this planet who can seriously say that?

I lose faith in humanity...

There are quite a lot of men who say they don't go down. Also some that say it's the best thing in the world to do and then don't do it"

And what about those who think it is the best thing in the world and do it??

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

" I think you might be banging your head against a brick-wall.

As opposed to the headboard

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

HEY YOUUUUU GUYSSSSS...

So, I went back for another try. I was constantly thinking about it and maybe I could show him a few things.

Wow, how I was wrong to judge him on just the one time.

So different. Very attentive, I enjoyed it a lot! And I didn't even have to say anything.

..So what the bloody hell happened last time eh!?

Happy lady here!

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By *issmekate xxxWoman
over a year ago

Non Vanilla Land

Are you sure it wasn't his twin brother ???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you sure it wasn't his twin brother ???

Oh no... Don't tell me that! Ha!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

you must have just caught him on an off day ... fair play to you giving him a second chance .. perhaps he thought about how bad he was and made a few changes ..

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

You could probably teach technique.

but he'd be useless with any other woman.

If you are going to teach anything, teach him imagination, control and stamina

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

this, plus the line 'I dont go down on anyone but you can go down on me' speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned.

Seriously, in 2014, is there still a man on this planet who can seriously say that?

I lose faith in humanity...

There are quite a lot of men who say they don't go down. Also some that say it's the best thing in the world to do and then don't do it

And what about those who think it is the best thing in the world and do it??

When I find him I'll let you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

this, plus the line 'I dont go down on anyone but you can go down on me' speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned. "

this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HEY YOUUUUU GUYSSSSS...

So, I went back for another try. I was constantly thinking about it and maybe I could show him a few things.

Wow, how I was wrong to judge him on just the one time.

So different. Very attentive, I enjoyed it a lot! And I didn't even have to say anything.

..So what the bloody hell happened last time eh!?

Happy lady here!

He might have had somewhere to go after seeing you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you teach the ability to read a partner's reactions? To me that's more important.......one thing to someone might do nothing for the next person....'skills' need to be transferable I reckon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mark that down do experience and move onto someone a little less selfish in bed who will look after your needs before his.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Technique can be taught and learned. Someone's goals, motivations and interests will remain their own, though may be influenced by things outside of them, such as others' needs etc. Ultimately, if someone is not really interested in a partner's needs then theyll just carry on regardless. This episode may be indicative of a one off or recurring lack of real attention to you. At least you know him better, so can be better able to judge him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mark that down do experience and move onto someone a little less selfish in bed who will look after your needs before his. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will never understand guys who don't give a woman head, for me it's a big part of it and I love giving gem or the ladies we meet head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a nice post to be honest slagging off a friend.

Did you tell him what you wanted if not then whilt not my style its maybe his.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people have the touch, the technique, the tongue and the desire to optimise pleasure for who they enjoy sex with. I never go for a taker, always a giver. Foreplay should go on and on throughout sex. A much older woman taught me so much in my teens. She still touches my heart when I remember her. I used to go down on her so much.

I would keep him as a friend but enjoy pele who can give you real pleasure in bed. I love your curves, he doesn't know what he is missing. Your magic button would not be neglected I assure you. Xxx Jim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you think hes worth persuing then yes,personally I wouldn't bother

Sounds like he's either pretty inexperienced, just wanted to blow his beans or that is just what he likes."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So last night I met up with an old friend from a few years back (fab unrelated) that I'd never quite gotten to sleep with - I was really excited as our chemistry outside of the bedroom is amazing.

We got home and all I can say is I am just sooooo unsatisfied.

It was the very "pow pow pow pow pow" jack rabbit kind of sex, no foreplay, no touching or fondling.

I was doing my best to encourage - show him how I like to be touched then encourage him to do the same but it was just a no-go.

I recall the words "well I don't go down on people, but you can go down on me" coming out of his mouth too.

So what I guess my question is, do I persevere and try to teach him or is it a lost cause and to just give up?

Love, a very VERY frustrated Brunette. X

i know you will be inundated with requests however i will still throw my hat and tongue into the ring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So last night I met up with an old friend from a few years back (fab unrelated) that I'd never quite gotten to sleep with - I was really excited as our chemistry outside of the bedroom is amazing.

We got home and all I can say is I am just sooooo unsatisfied.

It was the very "pow pow pow pow pow" jack rabbit kind of sex, no foreplay, no touching or fondling.

I was doing my best to encourage - show him how I like to be touched then encourage him to do the same but it was just a no-go.

I recall the words "well I don't go down on people, but you can go down on me" coming out of his mouth too.

So what I guess my question is, do I persevere and try to teach him or is it a lost cause and to just give up?

Love, a very VERY frustrated Brunette. X

Some people, men and women, are selfish lovers: lazy and only interested in their own pleasure.

Can't teach someone who doesn't want to learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/06/14 11:52:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So last night I met up with an old friend from a few years back (fab unrelated) that I'd never quite gotten to sleep with - I was really excited as our chemistry outside of the bedroom is amazing.

We got home and all I can say is I am just sooooo unsatisfied.

It was the very "pow pow pow pow pow" jack rabbit kind of sex, no foreplay, no touching or fondling.

I was doing my best to encourage - show him how I like to be touched then encourage him to do the same but it was just a no-go.

I recall the words "well I don't go down on people, but you can go down on me" coming out of his mouth too.

So what I guess my question is, do I persevere and try to teach him or is it a lost cause and to just give up?

Love, a very VERY frustrated Brunette. X

Some people, men and women, are selfish lovers: lazy and only interested in their own pleasure.

Can't teach someone who doesn't want to learn.

Bang in comment I'm not that experienced but I have one thing above all is to make sure of what the lady likes and while I'm doing it is it the way she likes ? Sorry but I'm so easy to please I love to put time into pleasing ?

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

"So last night I met up with an old friend from a few years back (fab unrelated) that I'd never quite gotten to sleep with - I was really excited as our chemistry outside of the bedroom is amazing.

We got home and all I can say is I am just sooooo unsatisfied.

It was the very "pow pow pow pow pow" jack rabbit kind of sex, no foreplay, no touching or fondling.

I was doing my best to encourage - show him how I like to be touched then encourage him to do the same but it was just a no-go.

I recall the words "well I don't go down on people, but you can go down on me" coming out of his mouth too.

So what I guess my question is, do I persevere and try to teach him or is it a lost cause and to just give up?

Love, a very VERY frustrated Brunette. X

I think a person should be able to teach themselves technique as they go through life. If he's that bad, I'm not sure you'd be able to teach him anything. Some folks just don't got it in the sack.

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