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"Mostly I think because we are inundated with messages and spend all our time either answering or deleting them, no time left to send " A fair point but the counter to that is if you sent message out us men would not have to send so many out in the firs place. | |||
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"I remember a lady once saying on here that she once sent a message and it was ignored so she would never do so again so I guess fear of rejection is a factor I also expect that lots will say they never need to send a message as they get so many but then they moan about the calibre of the messages or moan that their profiles havn't been read? Personally im happy to send an initial message and have all my filters on a lot of the time to prevent messages as I find its an easier way to run my profile" Yes the " I receive lots of messages" is a red herring So women with standards are on here looking for a tiny minority who are their preference ? A strange thing to do is only aim for those men who message them ? A side note I wonder if the desirability of a man is inversely proportional to the messages he sends ie desirable man is not the most likely man to send a message to the most women xx | |||
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"I'll send a message if someone catches my eye. If they don't respond hey ho certainty won't lose sleep over it." .... as if thats EVER likely to happen ... . | |||
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" A side note I wonder if the desirability of a man is inversely proportional to the messages he sends ie desirable man is not the most likely man to send a message to the most women xx" Is a desirable man aware that he's desirable though? Or would his desirability be measured by whats in his inbox | |||
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"i tend to wink rather than message at first. i know I'm not to everyone's tastes as not everyone is to my taste. i don't fear rejection though.... not on fab, anyway. " I do tend to wink more than I message... but will always message a returned wink or a wink from someone I like the look of | |||
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"i tend to wink rather than message at first. i know I'm not to everyone's tastes as not everyone is to my taste. i don't fear rejection though.... not on fab, anyway. I do tend to wink more than I message... but will always message a returned wink or a wink from someone I like the look of" didnt receive said wink | |||
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"i tend to wink rather than message at first. i know I'm not to everyone's tastes as not everyone is to my taste. i don't fear rejection though.... not on fab, anyway. I do tend to wink more than I message... but will always message a returned wink or a wink from someone I like the look of didnt receive said wink " lol because you're in London and I'm in Hull. simple. i trend to avoid arranging meets with people who need to travel far because i have a young special needs child and I've had to cancel before as i was walking out the door on the way to a meet because the school called. would feel even more terrible than i did if that person had traveled for hours! | |||
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"I think, because I'm a BBW, I'm aware thats not all mens/womens personal taste so, I tend not to message first for that reason alone x" This | |||
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"I'll send a message if someone catches my eye. If they don't respond hey ho certainty won't lose sleep over it." | |||
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"I think, because I'm a BBW, I'm aware thats not all mens/womens personal taste so, I tend not to message first for that reason alone x This " Well I think both type I find it more the person I like. I like BBW and skiny for differing reasons. I do like to have my cake and eat it. For her if I can. | |||
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"I'll send a message if someone catches my eye. If they don't respond hey ho certainty won't lose sleep over it." ^^^this ?? | |||
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"All you have to do is have female on your profile and you'll get a flooded inbox.. regardless of pics or no pics... some guys eh.." err.. No you don't. | |||
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"All you have to do is have female on your profile and you'll get a flooded inbox.. regardless of pics or no pics... some guys eh.. err.. No you don't. " Same. you don't | |||
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"There's not many men on here that I fancy and who also fulfil the various criteria required for me to be able to meet them. " This would be the exact reason I'd block all men and search and message ? Don't think anyone suggested men are the only ones rejected ? To my knowledge we are all here mostly to find someone who matches our preferences and logically the best way to achive this goal regardless of messages received is to look for yourself and message ? The disparity between the sexes is bizarre | |||
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"All you have to do is have female on your profile and you'll get a flooded inbox.. regardless of pics or no pics... some guys eh.. err.. No you don't. Same. you don't " Same here too. You don't! | |||
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"I don't have much time to meet usually and can't accommodate. I feel if I message first the man will assume it's going to be a certainty we will have sex, without talking to see if there's any attraction other than a pic and profile " | |||
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"To my knowledge we are all here mostly to find someone who matches our preferences and logically the best way to achive this goal regardless of messages received is to look for yourself and message ? The disparity between the sexes is bizarre " A certain part of me thinks it may come down to tradition where a female wants a man to make the first move, to be desired and chased. But on a site like this that would make little sense and as you have already said, it would be more logical for the women to do the looking theirselves. No idea, but I wish more women would (and not because I think my inbox would get more action) because by putting up filters they will alter the behaviour they are trying to deter. | |||
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"I think, because I'm a BBW, I'm aware thats not all mens/womens personal taste so, I tend not to message first for that reason alone x This " Me too - when I could meet I have sent some out first though which have led to a couple of meets others usually get a 'haha as if fatty' sort of reply to which i just shrugged off as their loss lol | |||
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"I usually get bored of looking after reading about 3 profiles " The men in my area seem to think you have to pay for each word on their profile. | |||
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"When I was meeting I only met sub men. However, they tend not to state they're sub on their profile so I had little option except wait for them to contact me. " I have a vision of you sat with your feet up on the desk, a nice glass of wine and red painted finger nails tapping impatiently | |||
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"well I've already messaged everyone i think i might be interested in meeting. Lol (i live in a small town!)" I was going to say you are allowed to communicate with people outside your own town. However I've looked at you're profile and it says 'can't travel and can't accommodate.' I've never quite grasped that one, do you only have fun on the doorstep or in the garden? | |||
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"Why do you think woman fear rejection if dont message first,i don't need to hunt here i go to regular partys and hunt men in the flesh ,chuck them over my shoulder and take them to a room to have me evil way with them,then befriend them on fab,then when in friends list they know where to be Caught by me again " I like the cut of your jib | |||
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"I don't actively search for men on here but I will send the 1st message to people in the forums that I think are interesting." | |||
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"Why do you think woman fear rejection if dont message first,i don't need to hunt here i go to regular partys and hunt men in the flesh ,chuck them over my shoulder and take them to a room to have me evil way with them,then befriend them on fab,then when in friends list they know where to be Caught by me again I like the cut of your jib " Just hope noone going friday reads that it Big lot of stairs | |||
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"All you have to do is have female on your profile and you'll get a flooded inbox.. regardless of pics or no pics... some guys eh.. err.. No you don't. Same. you don't Same here too. You don't!" I think i read this wrong. I thought it meant you don't get a flooded inbox. how dumb am I | |||
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"Why do you think woman fear rejection if dont message first,i don't need to hunt here i go to regular partys and hunt men in the flesh ,chuck them over my shoulder and take them to a room to have me evil way with them,then befriend them on fab,then when in friends list they know where to be Caught by me again I like the cut of your jib Just hope noone going friday reads that it Big lot of stairs " Don't make empty promises or threats | |||
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"I'm happy to send messages if something about them catches my eye. I don't see why it should be all one way. " Same here. I message men as rarely allow males to message me. I'm very fussy so know what I'm looking for from a profile. If I'm intrigued to know Morel then I usually hotlist ready for when I feel the need. But mostly tend to find ugly faces attached to a gorgeous body.So most of the time I'm very disappointed. | |||
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"I'm happy to send messages if something about them catches my eye. I don't see why it should be all one way. " Same here. I message men as rarely allow males to message me. I'm very fussy so know what I'm looking for from a profile. If I'm intrigued to know More then I usually hotlist ready for when I feel the need. But mostly tend to find ugly faces attached to a gorgeous body.So most of the time I'm very disappointed. | |||
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"All you have to do is have female on your profile and you'll get a flooded inbox.. regardless of pics or no pics... some guys eh.. err.. No you don't. Same. you don't Same here too. You don't! I think i read this wrong. I thought it meant you don't get a flooded inbox. how dumb am I " That's what I thought it meant as well... | |||
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"I think, because I'm a BBW, I'm aware thats not all mens/womens personal taste so, I tend not to message first for that reason alone x This " +1 Plus as other ladies hav said, the assumption that me mailing them means that meeting is all bar arranged. Rather than just an interest in getting to know more than what's in the profile. Have only messaged first a few times lately because of this, and they were forum regulars I didn't feel would assume a message ment definite sex.x | |||
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"I'm happy to send messages if something about them catches my eye. I don't see why it should be all one way. " This.....and if the message is ignored, so what? Not likely to either see or have contact with them again so I'm not likely to let it worry me | |||
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"All you have to do is have female on your profile and you'll get a flooded inbox.. regardless of pics or no pics... some guys eh.. err.. No you don't. Same. you don't Same here too. You don't! I think i read this wrong. I thought it meant you don't get a flooded inbox. how dumb am I That's what I thought it meant as well..." | |||
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"If i send a message out ... i am a "sure thing" " I was going to say please message me but having looked at your profile I miss out on one crucial element. However as a selling pointing I do organise lots of GBs and have lots of black regulars, if one 'loose' white guy could sneak in there, lovely | |||
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"Are the women that can't take rejection the same ones that happily ignore mail from men and/ or send rude replies?" In my experience, yes. | |||
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"If i send a message out ... i am a "sure thing" I was going to say please message me but having looked at your profile I miss out on one crucial element. However as a selling pointing I do organise lots of GBs and have lots of black regulars, if one 'loose' white guy could sneak in there, lovely " thanks but I'm fully taken care of with gang bangs...... All Black I might add...... Thanks though | |||
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"I've gone looking on occasion...I don't get millions of messages, but I do get enough past my numpty filters to mean that there's usually someone wanting to meet, it's just that often can't synch diaries so I do browse locally (although considering that my postcode covers 2 counties, local can be a bit of a misnomer). I don't bother too much if I get a knock back...I just track their home address via my GCHQ contacts and firebomb the entire street " Fuck me.....I live in your postcode...that's worrying......ought I ask first to save my home and the homes of ny neighbours a flaming blazing death? | |||
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"If i send a message out ... i am a "sure thing" I was going to say please message me but having looked at your profile I miss out on one crucial element. However as a selling pointing I do organise lots of GBs and have lots of black regulars, if one 'loose' white guy could sneak in there, lovely thanks but I'm fully taken care of with gang bangs...... All Black I might add...... Thanks though" A boy might as well try, obviously I'm not afraid of rejection | |||
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"well I've already messaged everyone i think i might be interested in meeting. Lol (i live in a small town!) looked at you're profile and it says 'can't travel and can't accommodate.' I've never quite grasped that one, do you only have fun on the doorstep or in the garden? " basically it means I ain't going to glasgow for no man. i don't have time for a 6 hour round trip to my nearest city. I need someone local so i can meet socially initially and decide about them 1st. | |||
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"I must be a right slut. I will pursue a man.....shamelessly if need be. " you say that like it's a bad thing | |||
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"I must be a right slut. I will pursue a man.....shamelessly if need be. you say that like it's a bad thing " I think a quite a few people still think it is. I've read on other threads posters saying that women who pursue men must be desperate. I feel like it's the 1950s sometimes. I find chasing a man I want rather exciting. | |||
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"I'm happy to send messages if something about them catches my eye. I don't see why it should be all one way. Same here. I message men as rarely allow males to message me. I'm very fussy so know what I'm looking for from a profile. If I'm intrigued to know More then I usually hotlist ready for when I feel the need. But mostly tend to find ugly faces attached to a gorgeous body.So most of the time I'm very disappointed. " | |||
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"Some ladies send messages x however it seems they are in a minority why do so few women send initial messages ? As for the title . pure baseless speculation xx" Simply because there is no need to. I'm sure some of the shall We say ' better physically endowed' men also rarely have to initiate contact. | |||
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"I'll send a message if someone catches my eye. If they don't respond hey ho certainty won't lose sleep over it." this | |||
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"I think it's all about expectations. Women are supposed to be in huge demand, so it's easy to imagine why some might feel slighted when they get knocked back. Men, on the other hand, expect that most of their approaches will come to nothing. Bless em for their perseverance " 'Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more' | |||
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"I think it's all about expectations. Women are supposed to be in huge demand, so it's easy to imagine why some might feel slighted when they get knocked back. Men, on the other hand, expect that most of their approaches will come to nothing. Bless em for their perseverance 'Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more' " Or close the wall up with our single males | |||
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"the problem is that a lot of women and couples who are looking for single men wait on the mountain to come to them... rather that them to the mountain... if I was looking for something specific, then surely it would be better to be the "hunter" than the "hunted" so to speak..... yes it can be flattering to be the "hunted"... but I find that a lot of those people haven't bothered to read about me, and send it spectulatively... yes... rejection is part of swinging, if you have trouble taking a "no thank you" I don't think it is for you...." Thank you to those brave ladies who have sent me messages however... This was not a look at me or send me a message thread , I have requoted _abio because his line "if I was looking for something specific" I feel regardless of the zillion trash messages received by a lady this logical approach stands true for all sexes and sexuallities The best reason so far I have read is the one regarding the males expectations but I don't think it's weighty enough to override the benefits of sending a message | |||
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"Some ladies send messages x however it seems they are in a minority why do so few women send initial messages ? As for the title . pure baseless speculation xx" The more confident use filters and choose who they are interested in I am always amazed at those who only meet from those who offer. | |||
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"the problem is that a lot of women and couples who are looking for single men wait on the mountain to come to them... rather that them to the mountain... if I was looking for something specific, then surely it would be better to be the "hunter" than the "hunted" so to speak..... yes it can be flattering to be the "hunted"... but I find that a lot of those people haven't bothered to read about me, and send it spectulatively... yes... rejection is part of swinging, if you have trouble taking a "no thank you" I don't think it is for you...." | |||
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"The more confident use filters and choose who they are interested in I am always amazed at those who only meet from those who offer." Not so, I certainly don't lack confidence, but I still have a list of people as long as my arm I am interested in talking further to/meeting, just from the ones who have approached me, let alone my 'rainy day' hotlist!!! I am afraid I find browsing utterly tedious, I can never see anyone I'm interested in, and yet all kinds of wonderful people seem to come out of the blue and find me. Oh I'll wink or message if I stumble across someone I like,or compliment an amazing pic, but I prefer to be the pursued anyway, just trips my trigger, haha! | |||
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"For me hunting rather that being hunted seems the logical thing to do as my "requirements" are fairly specific. I don't have a problem with rejection but I could wish that the men who are not interested in meeting me would SAY SO rather than play a waiting game and come up with dodgy excuses when challenged. (Sadly hunting didn't do me any good with regard to a couple of the lovely guys I asked.) Jane x " I'll some of this | |||
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