FabSwingers.com forum: how to persuade my girlfriend to go with another guy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

basically I find it a huge turn on to imagine my girlfriend sucking off another guy. obviously I'd want to be there to watch so I wouldn't exactly consider it "cheating" because it would be consensual, but she does. how can I persuade her to change her view on it? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating is doing something behind your back without you knowing. You are asking her to do this for fun. A mutually arranged fun activity. Its not cheating. You are both having fun jointly. Together.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cheating is doing something behind your back without you knowing. You are asking her to do this for fun. A mutually arranged fun activity. Its not cheating. You are both having fun jointly. Together. "

I know, but she still considers it cheating whenever we discuss it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"basically I find it a huge turn on to imagine my girlfriend sucking off another guy. obviously I'd want to be there to watch so I wouldn't exactly consider it "cheating" because it would be consensual, but she does. how can I persuade her to change her view on it? x"

Ask yourself if you think persuading someone to do this is right....would you like to be 'persuaded' to do something your not comfortable with? She has her own minds...don't try and change it...pls

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

Well I suppose if you have just taken the cock out of your own mouth to let her suck it, she can't call it cheating.

That's one way round it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I suppose if you have just taken the cock out of your own mouth to let her suck it, she can't call it cheating.

That's one way round it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never quite comfortable when I see the word 'persuade'

All things need to be talked about and need to want to be done because you want to, not because your partner does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if she's saying she considers it to be cheating than perhaps it's her way of telling you that the idea is not appealing to her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she consider it cheating when you meet other people?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you need to respect your girlfriends views on this. My hubby is happy for me to be on here but if he wasn't I wouldn't want to persuade him otherwise. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Instead of getting her to do what you'd like - perhaps ask her what she likes or fantasies about.... Be open with each other. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Ultimately, what's most important is to respect each other, share not impose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have to persuade her then your only banking resentment and anger up for a later date , as the previous post suggested ask her what SHE wants, what she would like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You shouldn't have to.

The fact you are having to 'persuade' her would be enough to tell me it was not consentual.

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

On dodgy ground here perhaps. Sounds like shes happy you being able to explore and enjoy your kinky side but maybe including her is a bit too much to ask.

Definately agree to find her fantasies though and happily allow her to have her fun too (if at all)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You let her know you are happy for her to do it. the decision to try it has to come from here. anything else is not persuasion. its coercion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask yourself if you think persuading someone to do this is right....would you like to be 'persuaded' to do something your not comfortable with? She has her own minds...don't try and change it...pls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if she's saying she considers it to be cheating than perhaps it's her way of telling you that the idea is not appealing to her."

This

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Ask yourself if you think persuading someone to do this is right....would you like to be 'persuaded' to do something your not comfortable with? She has her own minds...don't try and change it...pls

She may be saying it's cheating but what she may mean is simply - NO I don't feel comfortable doing that.

You need to show more respect for her wishes, not ignoring them and constantly trying to convince her to do something which she does not want to do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

wow, there's way too many people on here making judgements based on one misplaced word. posting this was a mistake because nobody knows the full situation but everyone immediately makes a judgement. besides, I would never force her to do something she didn't want to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

but well done fab, you don't allow people to delete forum posts!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"wow, there's way too many people on here making judgements based on one misplaced word. posting this was a mistake because nobody knows the full situation but everyone immediately makes a judgement. besides, I would never force her to do something she didn't want to"

It's a public forum and we can only debate that which we read....we can't read what you meant, only what is written.

Explain again and I for one will be happy to give my updated opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're annoyed because people are commenting without knowing the full situation, why didn't you give the full situation in the first place if you are asking for relevant advice?

You can't really post something like this, miss out what's obviously relevant information then complain because posters aren't aware.

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

i think persuading is the wrong word to have used

however, if i wanted to try and tempt a partner of mine to try something new and out of their usual scope, i would do it very slowly....

try starting off by having a nice planned evening with a good meal at home and a porno with a little of the event in.. gauge their reaction, dont talk specifically about it, have some awesome sex.. use that as a warm up.

its very hard to change a chicks mind about anything lol. not always impossible, but you know when you are flogging a dead horse.

Good luck!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you probably wont.

does she know about your alter ego?

if so, then im guessing she is quite open minded, so i wonder why this part of life would be so distasteful to her.

if she doesnt, then im guessing you already know you arent going to get her to indulge in this side of your life,and you may as well just continue on the path you have chosen, without her knowledge, as to keep pushing for something she finds distasteful is only going to push her away

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By *ymrocruMan
over a year ago

penygroes

first of all can i just say how stunning you look. It would not be cheating as you would be there. Secondly can it be me and you both can suck me. Xx

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By *mma_j_cdTV/TS
over a year ago

chester

It looks like it is out of her comfort zone. Let her come to know her own boundaries and let her decide if she wants to push those boundaries as only she knows what is within her comfort zone

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By *nionjil lunionjackCouple
over a year ago

our town

"if she's saying she considers it to be cheating than perhaps it's her way of telling you that the idea is not appealing to her."

Defo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're annoyed because people are commenting without knowing the full situation, why didn't you give the full situation in the first place if you are asking for relevant advice?

You can't really post something like this, miss out what's obviously relevant information then complain because posters aren't aware."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sit down and tell her about it and how it turns you on but be prepared for it going either way.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Just say

"Look it's not cheating, read all my veries, THAT'S cheating"

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I know, but she still considers it cheating whenever we discuss it"

.... In which as you have your answer.... Don't!

You push too hard you won't have a relationship anymore more... Simple as that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know, but she still considers it cheating whenever we discuss it

.... In which as you have your answer.... Don't!

You push too hard you won't have a relationship anymore more... Simple as that"

If your not sexually comparable do the right thing dump her, find someone else, saves hurting her in the long run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I consider myself very lucky to have found a partner as perverted if not more perverted than me. However I never ask her to do anything to please me. All things we do together are a result of the trust we have developed over talking about what we want to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never quite comfortable when I see the word 'persuade'

All things need to be talked about and need to want to be done because you want to, not because your partner does."

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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Me and my partner as as bad as each other. Everyone has their limit. I would not want to "Persuade" her. (This has been discussed as an incorrectly p,aced word but nothing was added to explain "the full situation".

It would however not turn me on knowing my partner was doing something that they did not like just for my enjoyment. That would turn me off.

The following day I am sure after they had thought of it would be a case of "why the hell did I do that" then you risk resentment to you.

Also not nice for the innocent person on the receiving end who thinks they are up for fun and then realises they have just got the self in the middle of a row. Been in that situation and got out of it quick,

To OP did take a it offence at the answers on here but to be honest the answers here were very good. Maybe you took it bad because it was not what you wanted to hear.

Someone said the word "tempt" now that is a better word.

Maybe ask straight out "being totally honest what are all tepee reasons why you do not want to, do you feel it is cheating, if it was not for the cheating side of it do you think that there are any other reasons" if they are happy apart from cheating then "tempt" them. Tell them that you have full trust In them and you would only consider it cheating if you were not there and you had not concerted to them ding it.

However if they do not want to do it then game over.

Maybe take them to a club so they are in the environment of seeing it happen.

Find a club that has something going on that can also entertain you. (Like the 28th June at xtasia plug plug plug). Then you can relax in the environment.

Maybe you will not have to tempt. It may just come up. Either way, if they do not want to them there is not a lot you can do.

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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Also give them a stop word or a stop sign. This means if they get to the point of awkwardness they can let you know and you can do the right thing and put a stop to it if they feel bad.

You do not want them carrying on because they think it will disappoint you.

This means you can be turned on knowing the sign has not been made,

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