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Confidence

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've always been a fairly confident person, both in the everyday and sexually. Recently, I've decided to explore my bi side. I'm enjoying every minute of it and wondering why I didn't do it earlier, but the strange thing is, it's knocked my confidence all to hell.

For example, recently I had the opportunity to play with a extremely fit couple. Both models. While I'd have no trouble playing with him on his own, I thought that she was way out of my league and turned them down.

What's going on!

I'm not used to feeling like that so I'm looking for a little insight. Has anyone else experienced this?

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton


"I've always been a fairly confident person, both in the everyday and sexually. Recently, I've decided to explore my bi side. I'm enjoying every minute of it and wondering why I didn't do it earlier, but the strange thing is, it's knocked my confidence all to hell.

For example, recently I had the opportunity to play with a extremely fit couple. Both models. While I'd have no trouble playing with him on his own, I thought that she was way out of my league and turned them down.

What's going on!

I'm not used to feeling like that so I'm looking for a little insight. Has anyone else experienced this?"

yep all the time lol, we cant understand why younger couples want to play with a couple of oldies like us, thank fook they do though.we now understand this swinging lark has a lot more to do with personality & fun than just sex.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'm quite a confident guy both in and out of bed, but my profile specifically says the sort of person I like to meet so I wouldn't meet a model anyway either. Not because of lack of confidence because obviously they'd want to meet me too but I can't get it out of my head that I'd be there as an accessory or someone to boost their ego or something.

OP: imagine their confidence after you turned them down!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Interesting! I wouldn't say I lack in confidence either but I do wonder why a man in his twenties would want to have sex with me, so I don't do it. Daft isn't it because they wouldn't ask if they didn't want to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need more confidence if there's any going spare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get messages off some very attractive (borderline perfect) men, and I often wonder if they just want to fuck a fat chick so they can cross it off their bucket list, so I turn them down lol. Like you, I don't lack confidence in or out of the bedroom, but these men don't half make me feel intimidated, and I often wonder if they're taking the piss! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get messages off some very attractive (borderline perfect) men, and I often wonder if they just want to fuck a fat chick so they can cross it off their bucket list, so I turn them down lol. Like you, I don't lack confidence in or out of the bedroom, but these men don't half make me feel intimidated, and I often wonder if they're taking the piss! X"
glad its not just me who feels like that

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By *iverpool LoverMan
over a year ago

liverpool

You should have just gone ahead with it, we gain more self confidance in ourselfs when we do things out of our comfort zones.

your confidance with other women might have shot up after your evening with them and fun was had all round.

but now you turned them down and passed on the oppurtunity somthing will be niggling at you in back of your mind every time an attractive women takes interest in you that you feel is "out of your league".

You need to just go for it sometimes as the confidance comes afterwards once you realise how much fun you have.

then you will see that no one is out of your league and your not out of anyone's league.

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get messages off some very attractive (borderline perfect) men, and I often wonder if they just want to fuck a fat chick so they can cross it off their bucket list, so I turn them down lol. Like you, I don't lack confidence in or out of the bedroom, but these men don't half make me feel intimidated, and I often wonder if they're taking the piss! X glad its not just me who feels like that "

I sometimes feel like that but the young, fit men I have met have generally proved that they do actually want to fuck me. That proof is in the number of times we have met. If it's a bucket list tick, no reason to do it more than once right?

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By *nsert user name hereMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Perfection is an oxymoron it's the imperfections that make us who we are and I'm sure when you meet these perfect people you'll see they have flaws. It's not about leagues have fun and enjoy life how you want to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting! I wouldn't say I lack in confidence either but I do wonder why a man in his twenties would want to have sex with me, so I don't do it. Daft isn't it because they wouldn't ask if they didn't want to "

I do lack confidence but it doesnt bother me having sex with men who are in their twenties. i dont realy care what they think of me so much, but i always feel that women are much more critical than men so unless i knew them pretty well i wouldnt feel comfortable.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Interesting! I wouldn't say I lack in confidence either but I do wonder why a man in his twenties would want to have sex with me, so I don't do it. Daft isn't it because they wouldn't ask if they didn't want to

I do lack confidence but it doesnt bother me having sex with men who are in their twenties. i dont realy care what they think of me so much, but i always feel that women are much more critical than men so unless i knew them pretty well i wouldnt feel comfortable."

Possibly you care more about what the women think rather than them being more critical? You only need to read the forums to see that some men will say anything if they think they will get sex out of it so I'm inclined to believe what they say less.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need more confidence if there's any going spare "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perfection is an oxymoron it's the imperfections that make us who we are and I'm sure when you meet these perfect people you'll see they have flaws. It's not about leagues have fun and enjoy life how you want to"

Like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get messages off some very attractive (borderline perfect) men, and I often wonder if they just want to fuck a fat chick so they can cross it off their bucket list, so I turn them down lol. Like you, I don't lack confidence in or out of the bedroom, but these men don't half make me feel intimidated, and I often wonder if they're taking the piss! X glad its not just me who feels like that

I sometimes feel like that but the young, fit men I have met have generally proved that they do actually want to fuck me. That proof is in the number of times we have met. If it's a bucket list tick, no reason to do it more than once right? "

True, but I don't even give them the option to ask for a second meet, because I don't meet them in the first place lol. I don't suffer fools, and I'm well aware that a lot of men on this site will say absolutely anything to get a meet, which makes me cynical about everyone else. I'm a paranoid mess

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I get messages off some very attractive (borderline perfect) men, and I often wonder if they just want to fuck a fat chick so they can cross it off their bucket list, so I turn them down lol. Like you, I don't lack confidence in or out of the bedroom, but these men don't half make me feel intimidated, and I often wonder if they're taking the piss! X glad its not just me who feels like that

I sometimes feel like that but the young, fit men I have met have generally proved that they do actually want to fuck me. That proof is in the number of times we have met. If it's a bucket list tick, no reason to do it more than once right?

True, but I don't even give them the option to ask for a second meet, because I don't meet them in the first place lol. I don't suffer fools, and I'm well aware that a lot of men on this site will say absolutely anything to get a meet, which makes me cynical about everyone else. I'm a paranoid mess "

Ah! But you're a lovely paranoid mess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting! I wouldn't say I lack in confidence either but I do wonder why a man in his twenties would want to have sex with me, so I don't do it. Daft isn't it because they wouldn't ask if they didn't want to

I do lack confidence but it doesnt bother me having sex with men who are in their twenties. i dont realy care what they think of me so much, but i always feel that women are much more critical than men so unless i knew them pretty well i wouldnt feel comfortable.

Possibly you care more about what the women think rather than them being more critical? You only need to read the forums to see that some men will say anything if they think they will get sex out of it so I'm inclined to believe what they say less."

Most women are more critical than men towards other women though.

I dont believe everything men say to me either, not that they say much to me anyway. i dont meet men because they have said nice things to me, i just have an idea of how they think.

some not all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nobody should believe they are out anyones league

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By *nsert user name hereMan
over a year ago

Manchester

In my little experience those people put on the pedestal by others are normally the ones with the biggest issues, confidence isn't about the way u look it's realizing that people like u for who u are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get messages off some very attractive (borderline perfect) men, and I often wonder if they just want to fuck a fat chick so they can cross it off their bucket list, so I turn them down lol. Like you, I don't lack confidence in or out of the bedroom, but these men don't half make me feel intimidated, and I often wonder if they're taking the piss! X glad its not just me who feels like that

I sometimes feel like that but the young, fit men I have met have generally proved that they do actually want to fuck me. That proof is in the number of times we have met. If it's a bucket list tick, no reason to do it more than once right?

True, but I don't even give them the option to ask for a second meet, because I don't meet them in the first place lol. I don't suffer fools, and I'm well aware that a lot of men on this site will say absolutely anything to get a meet, which makes me cynical about everyone else. I'm a paranoid mess "

Speaking on behalf of my gender I understand some of the things men say that sound desperate are those ones who are thinking with cocks.

Most men believe me or not, actually like bigger women each man has his reasons for this.

There are a minority out there who do want to communicate alot before meeting and spend time with women with no sexual contact.

What i'm trying to say is don't lose faith there someone out there for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nobody should believe they are out anyones league"

I said that to a man who messaged me yesterday, but I always think some men are out of my league

I lost my confidence last summer due to various situations and left Fab because of it. Came back and I'm glad to say my confidence has returned after a second meet with a lovely man a few days ago Not sure if I'm ready to meet someone new yet but it's a start. I have major body confidence issues too which doesn't help, but I'm working on that too.

OP I hope your confidence issues will soon dissappear.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire


"Interesting! I wouldn't say I lack in confidence either but I do wonder why a man in his twenties would want to have sex with me, so I don't do it. Daft isn't it because they wouldn't ask if they didn't want to "

I always thought that too but I did take the bullet one day and met the very beautiful very young man that kept messaging me for several months and what followed was nearly two years of fun and friendship. Think I was just lucky with that one though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we first started swinging we were approached by a very fit young marine and I can remember thinking the same thing. Luckily we did manage to meet and it was fantastic and it really got me over the "worried they are too pretty" thinking.

Just go for it - never regret.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nobody should believe they are out anyones league

I said that to a man who messaged me yesterday, but I always think some men are out of my league

I lost my confidence last summer due to various situations and left Fab because of it. Came back and I'm glad to say my confidence has returned after a second meet with a lovely man a few days ago Not sure if I'm ready to meet someone new yet but it's a start. I have major body confidence issues too which doesn't help, but I'm working on that too.

OP I hope your confidence issues will soon dissappear. "

I dont think men are too good looking for me because its not just about the way they look because they could be good looking and not have a very good personality. when i was on another site i met a man who i thought was too good looking and clever for me and i enjoyed meeting him, not just because of his looks but because he was interesting and not the sort of person i normaly get to meet. I have had old men be nastier to me than younger men.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Lack of confidence often comes from having too fertile an imagination, the ability to create "nightmare of Elm street" scenarios in your head (from a generalised experience). Switch the nightmare side off and it leaves a fertile imagination, which in my experience, is not a bad thing.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

Just go for it - never regret."

Good philosophy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting! I wouldn't say I lack in confidence either but I do wonder why a man in his twenties would want to have sex with me, so I don't do it. Daft isn't it because they wouldn't ask if they didn't want to

I always thought that too but I did take the bullet one day and met the very beautiful very young man that kept messaging me for several months and what followed was nearly two years of fun and friendship. Think I was just lucky with that one though "

Good for you.

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By *ecca9269Woman
over a year ago

Newton Abbot

As I bisexual girl, slimsort you are sooooo fine pls don't worry.

Just had to put my two pence in here.

I'm off to perve on all the other ladies profiles now so I can tell them they are all beautiful too.

If someone is absolutely stunning in everyway but has the brain capacity of a flea, they instantly become unattractive to me.

If someone isn't perfect looking but has an amazing personality, I'll fancy them within minutes.

I really think personality is key to attraction.

Feel beautiful every single one of you!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea why anyone would wanna play with me

Hence I don't meet any more

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"As I bisexual girl, slimsort you are sooooo fine pls don't worry.

Just had to put my two pence in here.

I'm off to perve on all the other ladies profiles now so I can tell them they are all beautiful too.

If someone is absolutely stunning in everyway but has the brain capacity of a flea, they instantly become unattractive to me.

If someone isn't perfect looking but has an amazing personality, I'll fancy them within minutes.

I really think personality is key to attraction.

Feel beautiful every single one of you!!!

"

I do, I only feel that men in their twenties might not be telling the entire truth when they say they really, really, genuinely prefer older women

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By *ecca9269Woman
over a year ago

Newton Abbot

As I girl in my 20s, older people entrigue me. I figure age must be experience, right

However

I'd worry they wouldnt want a pipsqueak like me in the bedroom!!

Looks like the worry and skepticism go both ways!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the comments - some great stuff in there. All that 'just go for it' stuff is normally how I am, hence why this has rocked me a little.

So yes, a change on mindset is needed - just when you think you know yourself!

Thanks once again.

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've always been a fairly confident person, both in the everyday and sexually. Recently, I've decided to explore my bi side. I'm enjoying every minute of it and wondering why I didn't do it earlier, but the strange thing is, it's knocked my confidence all to hell.

For example, recently I had the opportunity to play with a extremely fit couple. Both models. While I'd have no trouble playing with him on his own, I thought that she was way out of my league and turned them down.

What's going on!

I'm not used to feeling like that so I'm looking for a little insight. Has anyone else experienced this?"

It has nothing to do with confidence and everything to do with ego. Our egos are what makes us insecure or over-confidant to the point of arrogance. When you quash you ego you will find you are at your happiest within yourself.

You can keep your ego quashed, but every now and then something occurs to make you address the issue. I see this as a good thing because it helps you evolve as a person.

How do you get over your insecurities of someone else being "better"? By accepting every foible and imperfection you have and realise you are a unique individual. That other person will NEVER be better as an individual but different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the comments - some great stuff in there. All that 'just go for it' stuff is normally how I am, hence why this has rocked me a little.

So yes, a change on mindset is needed - just when you think you know yourself!

Thanks once again.

x"

"Just when you think you know yourself"...

Maybe on your deathbed. Enjoy your evolution. We humans are fantastic and fascinating beings .

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By *igboobies42Woman
over a year ago

Essex


"nobody should believe they are out anyones league

I said that to a man who messaged me yesterday, but I always think some men are out of my league

I lost my confidence last summer due to various situations and left Fab because of it. Came back and I'm glad to say my confidence has returned after a second meet with a lovely man a few days ago Not sure if I'm ready to meet someone new yet but it's a start. I have major body confidence issues too which doesn't help, but I'm working on that too.

OP I hope your confidence issues will soon dissappear. "

Legs it could have been me that wrote this comment as I'm in exactly the same position.

Confidence is very low but a couple I have met a couple of times before are amazing and are really helping but I do wonder if single guys ask to meet me cos I'm older and overweight cos they think I'm desperate.

Sure I won't feel like that once my confidence comes back but I wish it would hurry up

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"As I girl in my 20s, older people entrigue me. I figure age must be experience, right

However

I'd worry they wouldnt want a pipsqueak like me in the bedroom!!

Looks like the worry and skepticism go both ways!! Lol

"

looks like it does .

I do NOT believe that age is just a number, how can it possibly be? I do think that people of all ages are as valuable as each other and have something to offer each other though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nobody should believe they are out anyones league

I said that to a man who messaged me yesterday, but I always think some men are out of my league

I lost my confidence last summer due to various situations and left Fab because of it. Came back and I'm glad to say my confidence has returned after a second meet with a lovely man a few days ago Not sure if I'm ready to meet someone new yet but it's a start. I have major body confidence issues too which doesn't help, but I'm working on that too.

OP I hope your confidence issues will soon dissappear.

Legs it could have been me that wrote this comment as I'm in exactly the same position.

Confidence is very low but a couple I have met a couple of times before are amazing and are really helping but I do wonder if single guys ask to meet me cos I'm older and overweight cos they think I'm desperate.

Sure I won't feel like that once my confidence comes back but I wish it would hurry up "

I feel more confident now than I have done in a very very long time and thats thanks to a good friend on here. Fab can be a great place....... at times lol I often wonder the same but there are some lovely genuine younger men out there who want to meet us for who we are. Now I just need to find another few victims lol Hope your confidence returns soon too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get messages off some very attractive (borderline perfect) men, and I often wonder if they just want to fuck a fat chick so they can cross it off their bucket list, so I turn them down lol. Like you, I don't lack confidence in or out of the bedroom, but these men don't half make me feel intimidated, and I often wonder if they're taking the piss! X"

Totally agree with you there chick x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We been doing this on / off for seven years and I've never been confident but I just get on with it, then wonder why I let it bother me so much it's not like it's a dating site it's just for fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny I like attractive men and women yet also the same as a six pack perfect body makes me think god I have a belly and everything. Guess what people have said is true they don't have to meet us or mail so maybe should enjoy the visual delights but haven't as yet!

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