FabSwingers.com forum: What's the point of Friend's Lists?

By *woBiTwo OP Couple
over a year ago

north manchester

Don't get me wrong, we keep our own list, but we prefer to keep it private.

Is it just me/us, or are the lists frequently used as some sort of competitive, popularity contest? And, to be honest, HUGE friends lists are a real turn-off to us, particularly when they are accompanied by few or no verifications. We frequently get FRs from people with this type of profile, and no message or contact first, proving that they can't read (or can't be arsed to read) our profile....

So what are they for? Yes, we sometimes look to see who else is friendly with someone we like, but where the scroll down goes on for days, we just give up!

We try to keep our list to people we actually like enough to have an expectation of meeting at some point soonish. What do you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think its a popularity contest, i delete people i dont talk to after a month or two, it is pretty pointless though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

completely agree. its a huge turn off when the list is miles long. Prefer to be more selective lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

at the moment id just like a list lol

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By *.d.f.cMan
over a year ago

Taunton

i like being friendly, so sent request, hey why not, a little lovin goes a long way xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see no point in a friends list at all, i have no private pics, so being on my friends list is rather pointless, the only people on my list are people i have met, or planning to meet, that way i can see whos on line easier, if people just send me an invite i just delete them, i get about 20ish friends requests a day, id need 4 monitots ro fit my list on if i accepted them all for the sake of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The list we keep our people we talk to.

If you never talk to them or meet them we don't see why you would keep em as friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think it means anything looking at a profile apart from someone who shares private pictures to lots of people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you both just want to share pics they should just say.

They talk to you for abit then ask for friends invite then never speak to you again.

We reckon they are to shy ( or can't afford) to go and buy a porn mag lol.

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

short one here list that is x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the usefullness of the friends list has been devalued now the chat bubble has gone (still works if in new chat though). We used it so who was in chat to see if worth while to go in ourselves.

It does however mean we get the status updates of our pals and an update of any new pics etc.

We only have people on there that we chat to regular, have met or hoping to meet.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we showed are photos untill we found out that u can cut and paste the photos and the ppl on here was taking them of here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya they do that.

We have more photos we want to put on but we not.

Anyway seeing in real life is better lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ya they do that.

We have more photos we want to put on but we not.

Anyway seeing in real life is better lol. "
we agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a shame really its a turn on seeing pics.

Me and my partner send them to each other especally when at work you can't wait for home time lol

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

"We only have people on there that we chat to regular, have met or hoping to meet."

Snap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The people on our friends list are people we have met or plan on meeting.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Honestly we find our friends list really useful - and it seems odd and suprising no one else seems to find the same use but hey ho....

There are loads of contacts we get from folks who we have not met but would like to meet at sometime in the future, it's just hard sometimes to get to arrange everyone a meet as we don't swing all the time (well OK we do have our moments lol) and we find it hard to plan meets a couple months in advance!

And there are some who would like a party invite but the next party is a couple months away.

So best bet we find is stick them on the friends list and then on the site home page you get little icon/messages telling you what they are doing - uploading pics, changing status message or looking for a meet 'today', which constantly reminds us who they are.

It's not that we chat with all these folks but simply it helps us to remember who they are so when we are looking to meet new friends or have a party coming up it gives a nice easy list in one place of couples we know are interested already.

We will tell folks we'll add them on friends for the above reason - and no one ever has yet objected to that suggestion

So friends list = useless. No we don't think so at all.

ju & rich

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

My friends list is sometimes displayed and sometimes not

I have FRIENDS on there, thats what its for in all honesty.

There are

People I chat to and will never fuck

People I have fucked

People I intend to fuck

But I do routinely go through it and throw people off if things change

I use it a lot to see what they are up to and them me so I find it very useful

I think its very sad that some perceive it to be a popularity contest and by the same token are jealous

I am a single lady on here with a fanny like a revolving door sometimes, of course I am going to have a large friends list, get over it!!

Thing is, I am no pic collector as my verifications prove that I do meet and often so not one can say I am not "real"

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By *andcCouple
over a year ago

London and Cheshire

For us a friends list is a list of people we have either met or our looking to meet in the near future, we keep this private has why would anyone else want to know who are friends are!

We use this list to give access to our private gallery, which we obviously only want to share with people we know and trust, we can also see updates to our friends list 'status' or new uploaded pics and finally a quick link to all our friends is an added bonus.

But like others have said a profile with a long friends list and no verifications is a real 'No No!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we showed are photos untill we found out that u can cut and paste the photos and the ppl on here was taking them of here"

Our pics ended up on someone elses profile about a yr ago,we emailed him asked him to take them off and he accused us of taking his pics lol

Admin did sort it out for us.

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By *Y MAN n MECouple
over a year ago

FIFE

we keep our friends list private, and only add those we have met RECENTLY or plan to meet, useful to see updates for avaiable dates to meet, we reject invites from folks along way off as its obvious why...just to see private pics.

reminder to self... have a clear out of disappearing "friends"

we usually take off friends and put them on our hotlist if we're likely to meet them at some point.

so we do find these features useful,

BUT as said long friends lists and few, old dated verifications do get the alarm bells ringing that those folk don't meet in person.off to delete afew

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We went for a drink with this cpl and the body pics that they had showed us did not match there's.

So we decided to give it a miss why do folk do this.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Pics not matching - well from our experience on the odd occasion this has happened, we figure it must be because they couldn't make it but being nice people they didn't want to let us down so they sent their grandparents instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol that is funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

..doesn't the 'hotlist' provide all the features of the friends list??

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Some people NEED to have a huge list and think it proves something about them... hey what can I say, they have sad lives.

Some people want to grow their friends list quickly because it's a novelty and hadn't given a second thought to why.

Some people just have a huge list without thinking about it... they just accept and send requests because they always have.

Some people don't realise over a long period of time how long their list has got.

Some people use them to keep track and stalk THEIR contacts.... possession being one step away from making rabbit stew.

Some people see a HUGE list as boasting, picture collecting, an early stage warning of attention seekers and whatever else they may think it is.

I guess only the needy and those wanting to prove something would think of a longer list than their own as being something to envy.

Some just find HUGE lists distasteful, whilst others think nothing whether the list is long or short.

So all in all, your friends list is what you make it... I guess. It's a site feature you can choose how you use at the end of the day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow that covers it all.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

Why some people think having a long friends list or indeed verification list is sinister is beyond me.

After all, are we not here to make friends?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Why some people think having a long friends list or indeed verification list is sinister is beyond me.

After all, are we not here to make friends?

You may not be here to make friends but some people do like to be friends with the people they fuck... it's not blanket requirement though. I don't think anyone thinks it is sinister.... I just find it unnecessary and sometimes distasteful (but that is more down to the type of verifications) …. after all I don’t go to work or to the shops and feel the need to tell everyone who I have had sex with and what they were like.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

Indeed you dont

Neither do I

But I am here to meet men and like variety so my verifications and not my friends list which is hidden, proves to men I do meet and encourages some to ask to meet

Which makes me and them very happy

If it makes someone unhappy that I shall never meet then its kinda tough titty really.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

If a man needs proof he's on to a sure thing before he messages someone... he's not for me; and if they passes me by as a result, it just saves me some of the sifting time... which makes me happy

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

who says its a sure thing just because I have lots of verifications

It means nothing more than I am not a fantasist and have proof of that fact

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Risking taking this thread further off topic.... but the verification lists of folks you have met are a great way to find other real genuine folks on here that you may like, we find. Also a great way to help determine of someone you are interested in may be interested in return, in addition to reading their profile of course

Friends list vs Hot list - which we agree is mainly how we use our friends list - not sure they have the same functionality - forgive us if this is wron but folks on your hotlist don't show up on your homepage/ members status lists, do they?

Friends lists we find neither particularly useful nor not.

Polo you say you find certain types of verifications distasteful. OK it's your opinion of course but would you like to elaborate?

Personally we have never found anyones feedback distasteful on any profile, it's just folks saying how nice/good/sexy other folks are isn't it? What could possibly be bad about that?

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

to clarify we meant - *other members* friends lists we find neither useful or not.

Or own is dead useful as stated earlier

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I agree with Judy n Rich

Your on a sex site

saying you have had sex with someone and advertising the fact should not really classed as distasteful

after all we are all here for sex related stuff surely

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"who says its a sure thing just because I have lots of verifications

It means nothing more than I am not a fantasist and have proof of that fact

I guess some may see it that way.

I just don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone... especially to encourage them to message me. If what I have written about myself isn't enough then so be it... and if they need to see a list to be encouraged to message in the first place, then good riddens.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Polo you say you find certain types of verifications distasteful. OK it's your opinion of course but would you like to elaborate?

List which read like bloggs. We did this and that, then some of the other... and especially when they seem to have to verify someone time and time again.... and even go on to say what they are going to do next time............... why?

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

Polo you say you find certain types of verifications distasteful. OK it's your opinion of course but would you like to elaborate?

Why not?

I have to say I dont like VERY grafic feedback and tend not to use any like that overall

The odd one though isn't a real problem

each to their own I guess but I prefer to see a person that clearly meets and not just at socials

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need for friends list they don't talk to us anyway.

None of them talk to us anyway we are so upset we crying lol.

Only joking we like our friends list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think it means anything looking at a profile apart from someone who shares private pictures to lots of people.

and thats the top and bottom of it, thats the only real benifit to being on someones friends list

But what i dont get is if your just going to accept everyone who adds you and have 200+ people on your list why not just put your pics public

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

THERES A LOT OF PEOPLE GETTING TURNED OF BY LONG FRIENDS LISTS .

and its funny i just said to linda this morning i think i will cut our friends list down a bit ha ha ha lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think its a popularity contest, i delete people i dont talk to after a month or two, it is pretty pointless though."

agreed... its verifications that are important. see alot of endless friend list but no meets. i get alot of people who add me and then say nothing or dont follow up with conversation at least. why the fuck do they add us?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe the people that are new to the site are given a 3 month period where they have to get verified at a meet. if they cant do it then they get deleted.

so many 'inactive' users here, its like trawling through a chinese phonebook finding people in your area.

having said that there is the option of searching for verified people, so i dont know what im on about.

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By *ewcummersCouple
over a year ago

Nr Boston lincs

Agree...prefer profile with a small list..to many people just want to look at your private pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe the people that are new to the site are given a 3 month period where they have to get verified at a meet. if they cant do it then they get deleted.

so many 'inactive' users here, its like trawling through a chinese phonebook finding people in your area.

having said that there is the option of searching for verified people, so i dont know what im on about."

Why should people be given a certian amout of time to get verified?

We met someone who had been on here 9months not been verified..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only have a small friends list an we think its time for another sort out lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our friends list is for people we have met or are going to meet,we dont accept random invites of anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its when they chat and it seems you have a lot in common and you can't trust each other.

So you end up being friends then nothing.

I won't put what I think of those people grrrrr lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WANTING 4 AGES THIS DEBATE!!

Yeah so wots the point of friend list n having friends if all they do is ignore u and never ever meet u!! any1 agree??

who agrees??

i know i do 100% lol lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WANTING 4 AGES THIS DEBATE!!

Yeah so wots the point of friend list n having friends if all they do is ignore u and never ever meet u!! any1 agree??

who agrees??

Easy... Dont accept random invites of people you dont know,then you wont get ignored.

i know i do 100% lol lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WANTING 4 AGES THIS DEBATE!!

Yeah so wots the point of friend list n having friends if all they do is ignore u and never ever meet u!! any1 agree??

who agrees??

i know i do 100% lol lol

And I agree with you agreeing with yourself, I even agree with myself agreeing....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything I thought and would have written has been eloquently expressed by Polo!

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

We agree its a very big turn off when you see a list as long as your arm and they have no verifications.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my friends list is made up of....have met and liked or going to meet when the opportunity arises....have no need to collect hundreds of 'friends' all over the country with whom im never going to meet.....my rule of thiumb is.....facebook for friends....fab for fucking!!!

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

my list is ones i have either met or chatted with and then you get the few friends on list you who have chatted with but then they hide profile, pointless being on friends list then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah i totally agree with the last 3 comments well done 4 that. good 4 u!

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