FabSwingers.com forum: Back up

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When arranging a meet do you also arrange a back up plan in case the original meet is cancelled. If so do you explain this to your second option?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When arranging a meet do you also arrange a back up plan in case the original meet is cancelled. If so do you explain this to your second option?"

A back up plan!

I haven't had a first social/meet yet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's difficult just arranging a meet, never mind a back up. But that's just me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never do this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

For a one on one meet never. I rarely meet anyway so don't need to have several plans in place. Weekends maybe. If a weekend meet falls through or a party is cancelled I'll either go to my local club, or get my jammies on and watch TV.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never needed to so far

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would never do this "

Why?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A back up?

It's ducking hard enough organising one meet!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a meet told me I was a back up plan I would tell them to go fuck themselves lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would never do this

Why?"
because if I arrange to meet someone its because I really want to meet them I would hate to think I was.someone's stand by

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a meet told me I was a back up plan I would tell them to go fuck themselves lol

"
exactly my thoughts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would never do this

Why?because if I arrange to meet someone its because I really want to meet them I would hate to think I was.someone's stand by "

Fair enough, however meets often get cancelled etc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My back up is that we go out anyway,There is always a party or a club to go to,we planned a night out and that will still go ahead if the original plan goes to pot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would never do this

Why?because if I arrange to meet someone its because I really want to meet them I would hate to think I was.someone's stand by

Fair enough, however meets often get cancelled etc"

But if they don't you then have to let someone down, assuming you hadn't let on they were a "back up" plan so could be seen as a time waster.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would never do this

Why?because if I arrange to meet someone its because I really want to meet them I would hate to think I was.someone's stand by

Fair enough, however meets often get cancelled etc"
so do you have a back up back up just in case ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a way I have this week as when I find out which evening I'm free I've got two blokes waiting for a social,nope haven't told either of them,if the first one busy,I shall ask the 2nd,if neither can' mite forget it and have a relaxing evening on my todd with no littlin up and down stairs all eve

I have a couple of private meets arranged for daytime soon there on wednesdays so if let down I will have my backup plan of eureka's,already done the social on those meets,but real life can get in the way at times,I understand that x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a meet told me I was a back up plan I would tell them to go fuck themselves lol

exactly my thoughts "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yh i have backups... if ican.

cos too many time wasters.

And when I have free time, I dont want it wasted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I wouldn't organise a back up one on one meet, if wouldn't be very fair on the back up plan to be let down last minute if plan A went ahead. If I got stood up and had organised a sitter etc I'd either enjoy the peace and quiet on my own or go down the pub

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be extremely pissed off as I am very very very picky whom I would meet one on one

I would block them immedietly of I found out I was a back up plan or if I found out some one had arranged one just in case !!!no second chances

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yh i have backups... if ican.

cos too many time wasters.

And when I have free time, I dont want it wasted."

That's fair enough but if you have a back up plan and don't need them then their free time may have been wasted unless they were fully aware and happy that might happen as they were a back up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"If a meet told me I was a back up plan I would tell them to go fuck themselves lol

Agree!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never needed a back up but I do have a couple of guys I chat to regularly where if I mention I have a meet they offer to step in if they cancel so I guess that's kind of a back up plan

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"If a meet told me I was a back up plan I would tell them to go fuck themselves lol

I agree with you wholeheartedly. Who want's to be second best?

Julie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isandreTV/TS
over a year ago

Durham

I usually do and usually explain this.

In my case my back up plan might be as simple as only arranging to meet someone on a night out or venue I was attending anyway, such as an organised Tgirl night like LFF.

If they don't turn up or we don't click then no harm done.

I had this last Monday. I had a night out in Darlington anyway on the LGBT friendly evening, with lots of supposed interest that didn't turn up, but one who did late on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *coobyroo218Couple
over a year ago

Guernsey

When we used to play a lot in the UK we used to try to find meets close to a club or something that way if we got let down then club it was. Never needed the club as all turned up and all played

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back up plan is to go to a club instead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"Never needed to so far"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aul.J.JMan
over a year ago

Sedgley

It's ssomething I'd never considered as if you arrange a meet you should really want to meet them.

Maybe if I did I wouldn't have spent a few lonely nights in a hotel bar waiting for them to show......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lbecCouple
over a year ago

Whitstable

If the first one arrives, just say someone else may be joining.

If two turn up just have fun !!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Well this one has just come back and bite him on the arse!

Had a meet arranged for tomorrow (I said social so everyone has a chance to back out)

He had as a status looking for females for Friday 'hotel & dinner' and when I called him on it, it was a social experiment and no one except TV's responded so I was still number 1!

Tough! So guys remember us females aren't fooking stupid and I have cancelled the whole thing!

Needless to say no amount of back peddling will be happening here!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't make a back up plan as I think that it's unfair to have someone waiting around and be dropped if the first option turns up...however if someone cancelled then I may contact a couple of friends and see if they are free last minute

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I wouldn't make a back up plan as I think that it's unfair to have someone waiting around and be dropped if the first option turns up...however if someone cancelled then I may contact a couple of friends and see if they are free last minute"

Exactly completely different!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don't, the last meet that didn't turn up wasted an hour of my time ie travel and waiting time so I popped to Tesco's on my way home and did some shopping as I had planned to do on my way home from the meet, bought a lovely shawl reduced too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a meet told me I was a back up plan I would tell them to go fuck themselves lol

exactly my thoughts "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always have 2 or 3 lined up waiting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The second option? Never book a sloppy second, and that's exactly what they would be wouldn't they?

No thanks we don't do back up plans, not our style, certainly wouldn't like it done to us either!

Her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isnt that what having FB`s is for back up plans

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

should of arranged the first plan and back up together. imagine the fun if all parties agreed!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I don't get to meet very often since I have to plan around work schedules and so far have had to travel to meet the kind of people I want to spend time with. There's nothing wrong with having options but if I want to meet someone and have to make an effort to do so then it seems odd to have someone else on stand-by; it seems a little bit insulting to me. I wouldn't want to be anyone's Plan B so I wouldn't make anyone mine either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

Capital idea

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was informed I was someones back up plan in my early days on here. Not nice.

I got the call to say my presence was required....I told him I had a back up plan.....crap tv, glass of white and loads of munchies...far better choice. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was informed I was someones back up plan in my early days on here. Not nice.

I got the call to say my presence was required....I told him I had a back up plan.....crap tv, glass of white and loads of munchies...far better choice. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so now everyone who has a meet with you, they will know there is another back up plan for you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would never do this

Why?because if I arrange to meet someone its because I really want to meet them I would hate to think I was.someone's stand by

Fair enough, however meets often get cancelled etc"

The flaw in the plan is that you was your back up's first choice. By cancelling on them, it means you're unrelible or it means they need a back up plan because of your non-commital attitude to meets.

Another curve ball in this strategy is that you are your first choice's back up plan and they cancel on you, pushing the need to keep your options open when really better planning and patience is needed.

The fact is people cancel. That's life! We all have lives outside of Fabs and that should be respected when organising meets, from all people involved.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordmoneyCouple
over a year ago

philadelphia

yes I do agree with arranging a back up. but just have the back up arrive one hour or two after the first choice. and even if the first choice shows up you can just get a bonus play with the back up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit heartless isn't it ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bit heartless isn't it ?"

And arrogant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aywalton1Man
over a year ago

Walton on the Hill

It's so funny how many people do this and think you are not savvy to what they are doing. Grass is greener syndrome ... and when the greener grass doesn't materialise or does same to them all of a sudden you are the best thing since sliced bread. Have never and would never do that. Disrespectful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread