FabSwingers.com forum: Couples getting upset

By *ecndave OP Couple
over a year ago

axminster

Hi All, we met our first couple on saturday night. We all had fun but something was missing, not sure what though. When we told them they weren't for us they turned quite nasty. Is that common?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

childish behaviour and rejection issues are common; that has no bearing on whether they are couples, singles or any other label

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always make sure the first meet is a social only when it comes to couples , that way you can go away and discuss it after privately and without any added pressure.

Some people get to caught up in the moment that any rejection is seen as a personal insult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I might be way off track here, but speaking as a single male, i find that couple are far more touchy sometimes and are quite easily upset by things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't matter who we meet, couples single men or woman, we always meet socialy first to see if we all get on and for anyone to say "sorry not for us"

We wouldn't have played in that situation, so I can kinda see why they may have been a little upset if you told them they weren't for you after playing

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By *ecndave OP Couple
over a year ago

axminster

We met for a social the week before and all got on great but on the night we played it just wasn't as good as we thought. They wanted to play again and we didn't. Oh well plenty more people to meet lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If some people are going to get nasty/funny over rejection, they really shouldn't be doing this, it's got to work for everyone concerned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't matter who we meet, couples single men or woman, we always meet socialy first to see if we all get on and for anyone to say "sorry not for us"

We wouldn't have played in that situation, so I can kinda see why they may have been a little upset if you told them they weren't for you after playing "

having a drink with someone and having sex with them are a world apart

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

pop it down to experience and don't give it another thought.

onwards and upwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I might be way off track here, but speaking as a single male, i find that couple are far more touchy sometimes and are quite easily upset by things

The ones i have met were too.

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By *ecndave OP Couple
over a year ago

axminster

Thing is if they had said it the other way but we enjoyed it then We wouldn't have gone off on one. Not all couples are like this surely

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

" Not all couples are like this surely"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thing is if they had said it the other way but we enjoyed it then We wouldn't have gone off on one. Not all couples are like this surely"

No they're not.

Most of our meets have been one offs. Sometimes we get asked to meet again, sometimes we'll ask. Only once has someone got arsey when we have said we'd rather not. It's easy to block their profile and phone numbers so you needn't worry about hearing from them again. Put it down to experience and hopefully it won't put you off. The majority of people we have come across don't behave in the manner you have described.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

with us,we do try and play on first meet as free time is limited so try make most of it. (other than going out etc)

Last time we was on here,our last meet was with a couple. spoke on cam etc and agreed full swap and what not,convo flowing had a good night on cam.

But then upon meeting them (travelled to them after 2hrs) straight away when we got in their b/room their fem said no full swapping or oral,just kissing an fem fun. To that point her male got a bit angry and kinda put us off. got to the point where within half hour of kissing 1 another we decided to get up an leave. Turned out i (male) looked too young for her and she lays the law down and her hubby had no idea she was going to say that. Just spoiled the whole night really as he couldnt have been any more apologetic as he too was gutted.

so can understand how people dont play on first meets cos of things like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thing is if they had said it the other way but we enjoyed it then We wouldn't have gone off on one. Not all couples are like this surely"

are you sure?

its easy enough to say it in the cold light of day, but if you had thought it was great, and you got on really well, and they had said 'sorry, we just didnt feel it' you certain you wouldnt have had a bit of a snot on?

i know we would have.

even if we hadnt said anything to the other couple, i dont mind admitting we would be a little put out, because we are fcuking awesome lol

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By *indys loverCouple
over a year ago

Stratford on avon

The last time we met Venus and Hercules at a club Venus got very upset ,,,,,,

I didnt mean to stand on her toes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The last time we met Venus and Hercules at a club Venus got very upset ,,,,,,

I didnt mean to stand on her toes

did you??

actually, that night we were gone within half an hour lol.

just wasnt feeling the evening at all

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

I think it is human nature not to like rejection in what ever shape and form it comes in, but how you deal with said rejection shows want calibre of a person/couple you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess we been lucky ..weve had great times on every meet .. Some we decided we don't want to go there again but no dummies been thrown out of the pram ... if we weren't happy we would stop play and leave ..is our rule .. If all arent happy it just not going to happen x im sure that they are in the minority and you just were unlucky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"with us,we do try and play on first meet as free time is limited so try make most of it. (other than going out etc)

Last time we was on here,our last meet was with a couple. spoke on cam etc and agreed full swap and what not,convo flowing had a good night on cam.

so can understand how people dont play on first meets cos of things like that."

But people can change their minds. If she didn't feel comfortable for whatever reason surely it's better to say so than do something she didn't want to.

I'd be more concerned about her husband not sticking up for her. That's pretty crap on his part.

I think it depends on how people react. If she explained her change of heart then surely that would be fine? If her husband went nuts then for me that would spoil the atmosphere much more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi All, we met our first couple on saturday night. We all had fun but something was missing, not sure what though. When we told them they weren't for us they turned quite nasty. Is that common? "

If you all had fun, would it not have been better to say, "Thanks for a good meet", and leave it like that. If they were to get in touch again for another meet, just be polite and state something like you prefer variety rather than the same people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We use to meet up with a couple once a month or more if we could.only we got on brilliantly, that was until the guy became obsessed with me phoning/ texting/ calling at our home asking dee if he could have a threesome with his wifes permission ect..which that never happened! ..but he kept pestering & pestering. .cut a long story the we had to get the police involved in the end..god it was a nightmare! .

But people have the right to change their mind.when your on a site like this Iits expected! ..some take it too serious! ..better luck though next time guys! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"with us,we do try and play on first meet as free time is limited so try make most of it. (other than going out etc)

Last time we was on here,our last meet was with a couple. spoke on cam etc and agreed full swap and what not,convo flowing had a good night on cam.

so can understand how people dont play on first meets cos of things like that."

we would never get cross with each other if one of us decided part way through play we didnt want to carry - making sure both of us is happy is upper most in our fun - finding people to match us is next - we take ages looking and chatting and talking over what we want and hopefully we will never have a situation like you found yourselves in - we would leave too if the other couple started on at each other - dont feel bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"with us,we do try and play on first meet as free time is limited so try make most of it. (other than going out etc)

Last time we was on here,our last meet was with a couple. spoke on cam etc and agreed full swap and what not,convo flowing had a good night on cam.

so can understand how people dont play on first meets cos of things like that.

V decides, i go with the flow.

if im not into it and she is, i tend to stay on the perifery with a camera and other couples always enjoy a bit more of a ffm 3some, so its a win win lol.

i get to see her sucking cock and enjoying herself.

she gets to see the pics afterwards, and we do what couples do with each other, its all gravy.

we have a couple thats always asking for a repeat meet, but we arent interested.

do we tell them?

of course not.

we just avoid committing to anything.

why hurt someones feelings for your own gratification?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always make sure the first meet is a social only when it comes to couples , that way you can go away and discuss it after privately and without any added pressure.

Some people get to caught up in the moment that any rejection is seen as a personal insult "

Us too!! Made the mistake of not doing so once and now we always have a social meet no matter what! Even if we know within minutes we want to go further. keeping it social takes the pressure off and help us connect on a different level. Sometimes it's only friends but at least we know before hand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

neither one of us would take one for the team so to speak - all happy or no point as we dont need extra sex that much but a pleasurable time we want to repeat is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be like that they clearly have no social skills, or live in the real world," it happens"

Getting four people to fancy one another, is not as easy as it looks.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always make sure the first meet is a social only when it comes to couples , that way you can go away and discuss it after privately and without any added pressure.

Some people get to caught up in the moment that any rejection is seen as a personal insult

We always have a social first, with the option to play afterwards. Meet in a pub, have a few drinks and a chat. Ask if they'd like to come back.

We always let them know in advance that we only play if everyone is happy and there's no problem at all if we want to leave it after the drinks. Seems to have worked ok so far.

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By *indys loverCouple
over a year ago

Stratford on avon

"The last time we met Venus and Hercules at a club Venus got very upset ,,,,,,

I didnt mean to stand on her toes

did you??

actually, that night we were gone within half an hour lol.

just wasnt feeling the evening at all"

wondered were you had gone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thing is if they had said it the other way but we enjoyed it then We wouldn't have gone off on one. Not all couples are like this surely"

Not at all

Remember with couples there are two people to please (works both ways as you're a couple too!) and as such it can be very difficult for couples to find other couples to play with, depending on their preferences, to make sure no one is 'taking one for the team'. I can imagine it's very frustrating to have them kick off after the meet, but if you weren't sexually compatible then it's no loss to you surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"with us,we do try and play on first meet as free time is limited so try make most of it. (other than going out etc)

Last time we was on here,our last meet was with a couple. spoke on cam etc and agreed full swap and what not,convo flowing had a good night on cam.

so can understand how people dont play on first meets cos of things like that.

But people can change their minds. If she didn't feel comfortable for whatever reason surely it's better to say so than do something she didn't want to.

I'd be more concerned about her husband not sticking up for her. That's pretty crap on his part.

I think it depends on how people react. If she explained her change of heart then surely that would be fine? If her husband went nuts then for me that would spoil the atmosphere much more."

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats why I just fuck girls one time, to avoid disappointments lol.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

If they werent for you....why did yu have fun with them???

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"We met for a social the week before and all got on great but on the night we played it just wasn't as good as we thought. They wanted to play again and we didn't. Oh well plenty more people to meet lol"

I am confused, sorry if I have read this wrong.

Surely if something was missing or it wasn't as good as you hoped, why did you not say something and stop any play on the evening.

Think I would be a little upset that someone had gone through the motions without saying anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You said it was your first couple meet. You all got on socially but the play didn't feel right. Did you stop to think it might not be the couple that's the issue but playing with another couple just didn't do it for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't matter who we meet, couples single men or woman, we always meet socialy first to see if we all get on and for anyone to say "sorry not for us"

We wouldn't have played in that situation, so I can kinda see why they may have been a little upset if you told them they weren't for you after playing

having a drink with someone and having sex with them are a world apart"

Of course it's a world apart... This has always worked for us, if we feel we don't click with someone socialy, then we are pretty sure we are not going to click with them sexually, also if during a play meet we felt it wasn't working then we would stop play we wouldn't just carry on, we haven't had to do that yet.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

I am confused, sorry if I have read this wrong.

Surely if something was missing or it wasn't as good as you hoped, why did you not say something and stop any play on the evening.

Think I would be a little upset that someone had gone through the motions without saying anything.

Exactly my thoughts too. Z

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By *ecndave OP Couple
over a year ago

axminster

"If they werent for you....why did yu have fun with them???

"
. Because the social was good but the sex was average at best. Poor at worst

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By *ecndave OP Couple
over a year ago

axminster

I am confused, sorry if I have read this wrong.

Surely if something was missing or it wasn't as good as you hoped, why did you not say something and stop any play on the evening.

Think I would be a little upset that someone had gone through the motions without saying anything.

We did cut the evening short and this is what caused probs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have a right to be pissed off about rejection in the same way as others have the right to choose not to play. Its human nature.

The solution is probably to do far more ground work in messages and phone calls before meeting.

There does however appear to be some couples who use Fab as couple dating site, "looking for friends who we may play with in time".

It would appear they have no intention of playing with anyone, unless perhaps begged by Brad and Angelina, because in reality they just want to have a drink with someone.

I would recommend if you intend saying no to anyone; you do it, and leave straight away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am confused, sorry if I have read this wrong.

Surely if something was missing or it wasn't as good as you hoped, why did you not say something and stop any play on the evening.

Think I would be a little upset that someone had gone through the motions without saying anything.

We did cut the evening short and this is what caused probs"

Sorry I'm confused now, as you said in your first posts that the other couple became upset because you didn't want to play again, not that they became upset because you cut the meet short...

As another poster has mentioned, perhaps more ground work was needed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi All, we met our first couple on saturday night. We all had fun but something was missing, not sure what though. When we told them they weren't for us they turned quite nasty. Is that common? "

It is very common. We have had a few nasty ones but its their problem. Very childish and they prove it. Let them and enjoy meeting someone you want to play with

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hi All, we met our first couple on saturday night. We all had fun but something was missing, not sure what though. When we told them they weren't for us they turned quite nasty. Is that common? "

Without knowing what was said and how it was put across its difficult to comment since we only have one _iew. Were the couple from fab? Could they be reading the forum? Discretion is sometimes the better part of valour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The last time we met Venus and Hercules at a club Venus got very upset ,,,,,,

I didnt mean to stand on her toes

did you??

actually, that night we were gone within half an hour lol.

just wasnt feeling the evening at all

wondered were you had gone

no you bleedin didnt lol. you were both probably far too busy lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thats why I just fuck girls one time, to avoid disappointments lol."

theirs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it can be difficult sometimes for four people to like one another enough to make it a fairly regular occasion.

However manners and peoples feelings are important and it's important to me not to offend people who have made the effort to meet.

Often it is least said soonest mended. You just need to try and handle any issues tactfully xx Jim

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"I think it can be difficult sometimes for four people to like one another enough to make it a fairly regular occasion.

However manners and peoples feelings are important and it's important to me not to offend people who have made the effort to meet.

Often it is least said soonest mended. You just need to try and handle any issues tactfully xx Jim"

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