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"The above post explains everything quite well so I do not feel the urge to add to it. So I will just advise if you do not want to wonder too deeply into subspace that you hold a ball or an object in your hand when playing. As you relax and get into roleplay your body relaxes and you will drop the object. When the object drops your dom will know to stop play without you having to use a safeword. " that's an excellent idea. i had tired with the thought of a different word for the next few meets to help me guard against going too deep but this will be better. thank you. | |||
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" p.s. my submission is purely mental. the s/m dynamic is not present. " I need to understand this... you dont engage in play? Is this purely an online thing? | |||
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"The above post explains everything quite well so I do not feel the urge to add to it. So I will just advise if you do not want to wonder too deeply into subspace that you hold a ball or an object in your hand when playing. As you relax and get into roleplay your body relaxes and you will drop the object. When the object drops your dom will know to stop play without you having to use a safeword. that's an excellent idea. i had tired with the thought of a different word for the next few meets to help me guard against going too deep but this will be better. thank you. " Good luck x | |||
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" p.s. my submission is purely mental. the s/m dynamic is not present. I need to understand this... you dont engage in play? Is this purely an online thing?" no. it's a no pain dynamic. | |||
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" p.s. my submission is purely mental. the s/m dynamic is not present. I need to understand this... you dont engage in play? Is this purely an online thing? no. it's a no pain dynamic. " so you play vanilla with the addition of ropes and toys? Don't know how you can achieve subspace like that, but well done ![]() | |||
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"Interesting, I've never head of that before, I'd always assumed that play was involved except for the full time owned slave situation. (but then I'm very new to the whole D/s thing so not surprising I guess) My FWB and I are going to a bi kink event on Friday, should be lots of fun. ![]() we play. boy howdy does he play. but he doesn't need to use pain. there are other ways and I've looked for years to find a dom that will play without pain. | |||
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"Interesting, I've never head of that before, I'd always assumed that play was involved except for the full time owned slave situation. (but then I'm very new to the whole D/s thing so not surprising I guess) My FWB and I are going to a bi kink event on Friday, should be lots of fun. ![]() mm I can appreciate the play without pain, just cant get my head around the chaos or subspace without it. You doing breath play or something? | |||
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" p.s. my submission is purely mental. the s/m dynamic is not present. I need to understand this... you dont engage in play? Is this purely an online thing? no. it's a no pain dynamic. so you play vanilla with the addition of ropes and toys? Don't know how you can achieve subspace like that, but well done ![]() no, it's not vanilla at all. not all submission needs pain. pain is simply one tool in a very large arsenal. I've spoken to a few doms whorecognise | |||
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" p.s. my submission is purely mental. the s/m dynamic is not present. I need to understand this... you dont engage in play? Is this purely an online thing? no. it's a no pain dynamic. so you play vanilla with the addition of ropes and toys? Don't know how you can achieve subspace like that, but well done ![]() that and don't limit themselves to using just that. only one was the one for me, though. | |||
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"Interesting, I've never head of that before, I'd always assumed that play was involved except for the full time owned slave situation. (but then I'm very new to the whole D/s thing so not surprising I guess) My FWB and I are going to a bi kink event on Friday, should be lots of fun. ![]() or something, yes. | |||
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"Interesting, I've never head of that before, I'd always assumed that play was involved except for the full time owned slave situation. (but then I'm very new to the whole D/s thing so not surprising I guess) My FWB and I are going to a bi kink event on Friday, should be lots of fun. ![]() You don't need pain to space at all. Don't understand 'chaos' | |||
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"Interesting, I've never head of that before, I'd always assumed that play was involved except for the full time owned slave situation. (but then I'm very new to the whole D/s thing so not surprising I guess) My FWB and I are going to a bi kink event on Friday, should be lots of fun. ![]() It's the drop you can get a day or two later. Subspace to me though, is where endorphins are that high that you remove yourself from what is happening, usually as the play is that hard you submit in the purist sense. Its not just an exchange or coupling of two people where 'space' might be opened up - it is wholly deeper, a few levels deeper and usually brings chaos as a result. Thats what I cant figure with non s/m play - it may be the terminology? | |||
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"Interesting, I've never head of that before, I'd always assumed that play was involved except for the full time owned slave situation. (but then I'm very new to the whole D/s thing so not surprising I guess) My FWB and I are going to a bi kink event on Friday, should be lots of fun. ![]() ok i understand this a little better now. the thing is that you're failing to see that the click off in your head and endorphin rush can be triggered by many many things. there are as many ways to gain submission as there are blades of grass upon the earth, and pain is only one of them. not everyone is into sadism or masochism yet are dominant and submissive. my submission was earned minus pain by use of other methods by the only dom I've allowed to try because he understood my needs and took time to earn trust. he's taking it very slow because I'm new and for that i trust him all the more. the drop you mention i understand a bit better. inyour case it may well feel chaotic. you probably go deeper than i did, but yesterday i felt what i can only describe as almost slightly hungover crossed with grumpy because it felt like i was crashing back into reality with a great big *thud*. i do thank everyone for their advice and help. this has been a big step for me. something I've wanted for a very long time but wasnt able to find a Dom who could first claim my mind, until now. I'm nervous, curious, and excited about what more is to come. | |||
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"Interesting, I've never head of that before, I'd always assumed that play was involved except for the full time owned slave situation. (but then I'm very new to the whole D/s thing so not surprising I guess) My FWB and I are going to a bi kink event on Friday, should be lots of fun. ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Interesting, I've never head of that before, I'd always assumed that play was involved except for the full time owned slave situation. (but then I'm very new to the whole D/s thing so not surprising I guess) My FWB and I are going to a bi kink event on Friday, should be lots of fun. ![]() As we know, things are different for everyone and when a sub finds a dom and they really suit, there's a whole world of possibilities. I play with pain (lots of it ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Interesting, I've never head of that before, I'd always assumed that play was involved except for the full time owned slave situation. (but then I'm very new to the whole D/s thing so not surprising I guess) My FWB and I are going to a bi kink event on Friday, should be lots of fun. ![]() ![]() ![]() you play with pain frill? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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" Spacing as far as I am aware is caused by a flood of endorphins causing the person to fall into a natural drug like high. " Given that little if any "pain" is involved in the subspace promoting activities mentioned, the implication would have to be that they were triggering an endorphin rush, which I think unlikely. I have a feeling it is more akin to a dissociative state, a form of mental submission willingly entered. It is a fascinating part of D/s play and very similar in my experience to the state achievable through elements of Tantric sex. Different strokes, same pleasures ![]() | |||
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"Interesting, I've never head of that before, I'd always assumed that play was involved except for the full time owned slave situation. (but then I'm very new to the whole D/s thing so not surprising I guess) My FWB and I are going to a bi kink event on Friday, should be lots of fun. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh I am innocent, pure as the driven slush lol xx | |||
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"Morning everyone, I have friends who 'space' from the smell of hemp rope, from total body restraint or even from the sight of a gas mask. Of course some do space from pain but many others also do it without. Spacing as far as I am aware is caused by a flood of endorphins causing the person to fall into a natural drug like high. Anything, be it physical or mental, when applied in the right way, could I suppose cause someone to go into this state. That's the beautiful thing about BDSM ![]() In the right hands, it is beautiful ![]() | |||
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"Much of what kinky ak wrote is absolutely correct in my experience save for Spacing as far as I am aware is caused by a flood of endorphins causing the person to fall into a natural drug like high. Given that little if any "pain" is involved in the subspace promoting activities mentioned, the implication would have to be that they were triggering an endorphin rush, which I think unlikely. I have a feeling it is more akin to a dissociative state, a form of mental submission willingly entered. It is a fascinating part of D/s play and very similar in my experience to the state achievable through elements of Tantric sex. Different strokes, same pleasures ![]() i haven't experienced the tantric high you mention. but can i just say that.... just because i wasn't subjected to pain doesn't mean that other endorphin triggering activities were also absent. ![]() | |||
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"@earnmenow: i haven't experienced the tantric high you mention. but can i just say that.... just because i wasn't subjected to pain doesn't mean that other endorphin triggering activities were also absent. ![]() But endorphins are only released through pain and the associated dopamine flood from, for example, orgasming during sex. I hope you haven't been mixing your sex and BDSM, I don't think as swingers we are allowed to do that ![]() | |||
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" ok i understand this a little better now. the thing is that you're failing to see that the click off in your head and endorphin rush can be triggered by many many things. there are as many ways to gain submission as there are blades of grass upon the earth, and pain is only one of them. not everyone is into sadism or masochism yet are dominant and submissive. my submission was earned minus pain by use of other methods by the only dom I've allowed to try because he understood my needs and took time to earn trust. he's taking it very slow because I'm new and for that i trust him all the more. the drop you mention i understand a bit better. inyour case it may well feel chaotic. you probably go deeper than i did, but yesterday i felt what i can only describe as almost slightly hungover crossed with grumpy because it felt like i was crashing back into reality with a great big *thud*. i do thank everyone for their advice and help. this has been a big step for me. something I've wanted for a very long time but wasnt able to find a Dom who could first claim my mind, until now. I'm nervous, curious, and excited about what more is to come. " I'm not 'a sub' thats why I was asking. | |||
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"@earnmenow: i haven't experienced the tantric high you mention. but can i just say that.... just because i wasn't subjected to pain doesn't mean that other endorphin triggering activities were also absent. ![]() ![]() actually, endorphins are released by the brain in many circumstances including during eating and exercise. if any activity gives pleasure or leaves a happy or contented feeling it is because of endorphin release. in addition to pain... within the bdsm world such activities as restraint and sensation play can also trigger release. it is far from being restricted to the sensations of pain. as for mixing bdsm with sex. . . ![]() | |||
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"@earnmenow: i haven't experienced the tantric high you mention. but can i just say that.... just because i wasn't subjected to pain doesn't mean that other endorphin triggering activities were also absent. ![]() ![]() ![]() This ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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" ok i understand this a little better now. the thing is that you're failing to see that the click off in your head and endorphin rush can be triggered by many many things. there are as many ways to gain submission as there are blades of grass upon the earth, and pain is only one of them. not everyone is into sadism or masochism yet are dominant and submissive. my submission was earned minus pain by use of other methods by the only dom I've allowed to try because he understood my needs and took time to earn trust. he's taking it very slow because I'm new and for that i trust him all the more. the drop you mention i understand a bit better. inyour case it may well feel chaotic. you probably go deeper than i did, but yesterday i felt what i can only describe as almost slightly hungover crossed with grumpy because it felt like i was crashing back into reality with a great big *thud*. i do thank everyone for their advice and help. this has been a big step for me. something I've wanted for a very long time but wasnt able to find a Dom who could first claim my mind, until now. I'm nervous, curious, and excited about what more is to come. I'm not 'a sub' thats why I was asking. " Have you ever switched? | |||
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"yeah, I'm free and easy, but if its not done right I usually end up taking the lead. I get an idea if someone knows what they are doing or just toying around within the first few minutes." You know what you're doing then? ![]() | |||
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