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Odd Ol Me

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By *habs OP   Man
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I don't know if am strange or not,help me out.

I've exchanged correspondece with a certain female longer than I care to imagine - even met up at several socials, and we'd always agreed we'd have a meet (she's actually spent a purely social couple of days at mine as it wasn't the intended "meet" sometime back).

But when it comes to setting a date in stone, she cowers (I assume she's not interested) - so now that I've basically left her to it "You know how to reach me if interested" it suddenly become "I'm bored and on my own... wanna come over?"

Ordinarily this should be a good thign right? But that stupid gene in my brain (lets call it Pride) says to me "Wow - she calls and you go running? She says jump and you say how high? How many years have you been after her again? Dude, you may be easy, but not that easy surely?"

So I let her stew for a bit. Lol. Help!!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I would love to know how she managed to stay at yours for the weekend and did'nt take full advantage of the situation

I think I would have been bored of the game by now,but only you can know the answer

It may be well worth the wait,and then again it might not

Im no help am I

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Funnily enough - i can identify with what your saying.

It COULD be a subconscious fear of losing the friendship/bond you have with her, which up until now has been at least partly sustained by the sexual tension between you. Once the sexual tension has gone (i.e you've done it) then the relationship will move to a new place - even if thats just a psychological thing.

Hence your reluctance to change the 'status' of your relationship with her. At a guess, i'd say it's more common that you would think, for both guys and gals.

Just my 2p worth.

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By *habs OP   Man
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Funnily enough - i can identify with what your saying.

It COULD be a subconscious fear of losing the friendship/bond you have with her, which up until now has been at least partly sustained by the sexual tension between you. Once the sexual tension has gone (i.e you've done it) then the relationship will move to a new place - even if thats just a psychological thing.

Hence your reluctance to change the 'status' of your relationship with her. At a guess, i'd say it's more common that you would think, for both guys and gals.

Just my 2p worth. "

Nah, in this case its been a "Nike" (Just do It) Case long overdue... to be honest I think she liked the attentino more than the actual reality.

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By *habs OP   Man
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"I would love to know how she managed to stay at yours for the weekend and did'nt take full advantage of the situation

I think I would have been bored of the game by now,but only you can know the answer

It may be well worth the wait,and then again it might not

Im no help am I

"

It was very hard ('scuse the pun) - I had to sleep inshorts for the first time in years! (I don't have any pj's so would be rubbish at a pyjama party).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be strong & move on - if you're meant to get together, you will. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry if this sounds "cold", but this is swinging, and you either want to play with her or you don't. If either one of you have stronger feelings, then perhaps you need to sit down and have a chat to clarify the situation.

If she is asking, just go for it. Afterall, it sounds like you've stood back and given her space already and it seems she is now ready, now you've called her bluff, so to speak....good luck mate

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By *habs OP   Man
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Sorry if this sounds "cold", but this is swinging, and you either want to play with her or you don't. If either one of you have stronger feelings, then perhaps you need to sit down and have a chat to clarify the situation.

If she is asking, just go for it. Afterall, it sounds like you've stood back and given her space already and it seems she is now ready, now you've called her bluff, so to speak....good luck mate "

I get what you mean, and agree it should be a simple matter. Howfever I've felt she's loved the attentino more so I opted to starve her of what she wants (why should she get what she wants if I don't? should be enjoyable for both).

I certainly don't want to give her the impression "hey, its ok if you want to ignore me for 3 or 4 years, but I'll be right here waiting like a sod with nothing better to do when you remember my name". Hence the pride - I'm worth more than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like you've already made your mind up?

There's nothing wrong with plutonic friendship, even if it does originate from a swinging environment, but don't don't let "macho male stubborness" cloud your thinking.

If there is a sexual attraction, get your swinging head on, and then decide. Until you do that, you're probably just messing with your own head....like I said, it's your call, so good luck

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