FabSwingers.com forum: A joke to cheer you up for the day

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

SING IT GIRLS!

At first I was afraid,

I was petrified!

When you said you had 10 inches, lord I almost died.

But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,

that I grew strong...

and knew that I could take you on

BUT THERE YOU ARE

Another lie

I was ready for a Big Mac and you brought me a French Fry,

I should have known that it was bullshit,

just a sad pathetic dream,

Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in your jeans,

Go on now go....walk out the door!

don't you promise me 10 inches and then give me only 4!

You are such a prat to think that I wouldn't find it out,

Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?

I will survive,

I will survive!

As long as I have all my batteries,

my sex life's gona thrive!

I will always have good sex

with a handful of latex!

I will survive

I will survive!

HEY HEY!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg that is great. Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol .. So funny !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very good he he

Here is a quickie and by the way I'm not a yes when it comes to this stupid referendum we are due to have in 6 months

How many crows can you get up a scotsman kilt?

It depends on the size of his perch!!

Hope that cheers you all up cx Jim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our lass said go out and buy something that makes me look beautiful so i did i come back with 20 cans of lager.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The wife has just text me that Gavin from AutoGlass has just been around and injected his special resin into her crack......Now I'm not usually suspicious, but ive got the fucking car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SING IT GIRLS!

At first I was afraid,

I was petrified!

When you said you had 10 inches, lord I almost died.

But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,

that I grew strong...

and knew that I could take you on

BUT THERE YOU ARE

Another lie

I was ready for a Big Mac and you brought me a French Fry,

I should have known that it was bullshit,

just a sad pathetic dream,

Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in your jeans,

Go on now go....walk out the door!

don't you promise me 10 inches and then give me only 4!

You are such a prat to think that I wouldn't find it out,

Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?

I will survive,

I will survive!

As long as I have all my batteries,

my sex life's gona thrive!

I will always have good sex

with a handful of latex!

I will survive

I will survive!

HEY HEY!"

Brilliant x

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By *hite SnakeMan
over a year ago

leeds

"SING IT GIRLS!

At first I was afraid,

I was petrified!

When you said you had 10 inches, lord I almost died.

But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,

that I grew strong...

and knew that I could take you on

BUT THERE YOU ARE

Another lie

I was ready for a Big Mac and you brought me a French Fry,

I should have known that it was bullshit,

just a sad pathetic dream,

Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in your jeans,

Go on now go....walk out the door!

don't you promise me 10 inches and then give me only 4!

You are such a prat to think that I wouldn't find it out,

Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?

I will survive,

I will survive!

As long as I have all my batteries,

my sex life's gona thrive!

I will always have good sex

with a handful of latex!

I will survive

I will survive!

HEY HEY!"

Come on lads lets get our version to number one

I Will Survive (The male version)

At first I was afraid, I was petrified...

Those 36 double D's were the perfect size.

But I'd spent so many years dreaming of some boobs with power,

that I grew hard, and I knew I'd have to take a shower.

But there you are, deceiving buns.

I was ready for some melons and I get a couple of plums.

I should have known that it was bullshit.

Nothing could be that fantastic.

I should have known that they were pushed up by a lump liquid plastic.

Go on now go. Walk out the door.

You don't look half the girl you did now your gel bra's on the floor.

Weren't you the one who tried to fool me with your bull?

Did you think I'd fumble,

with a lot less than a handful?

I will survive, I will survive,

cos as long as I've got Playboy then my dream is still alive.

With a tissue and the mag, I dream of the perfect shag.

I will survive, I will survive... hey hey

It was very weird. It was quite bizarre.

When your boobies disappeared as you removed your bra.

I just couldn't help myself. I just had to have a cry,

when I realised your breasts were in such a short supply.

Go on now go. This is goodbye,

until you find a way to make your knockers pleasing to the eye

Your bum is getting bigger, each time you use the loo

So wipe the bog roll on your tits and maybe they'll be bigger too.

Go on now go. You'll get no hugs.

I think that you should call them egg cups and not a set of jugs

With tits as small as that you'll always be a virgin

It's time for something drastic

Maybe try a plastic surgeon

I will survive, I will survive,

cos as long as I've got Playboy then my dream is still alive.

With a tissue and the mag, I dream of the perfect shag.

I will survive, I will survive... hey hey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SING IT GIRLS!

At first I was afraid,

I was petrified!

When you said you had 10 inches, lord I almost died.

But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,

that I grew strong...

and knew that I could take you on

BUT THERE YOU ARE

Another lie

I was ready for a Big Mac and you brought me a French Fry,

I should have known that it was bullshit,

just a sad pathetic dream,

Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in your jeans,

Go on now go....walk out the door!

don't you promise me 10 inches and then give me only 4!

You are such a prat to think that I wouldn't find it out,

Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?

I will survive,

I will survive!

As long as I have all my batteries,

my sex life's gona thrive!

I will always have good sex

with a handful of latex!

I will survive

I will survive!

HEY HEY!

Come on lads lets get our version to number one

I Will Survive (The male version)

At first I was afraid, I was petrified...

Those 36 double D's were the perfect size.

But I'd spent so many years dreaming of some boobs with power,

that I grew hard, and I knew I'd have to take a shower.

But there you are, deceiving buns.

I was ready for some melons and I get a couple of plums.

I should have known that it was bullshit.

Nothing could be that fantastic.

I should have known that they were pushed up by a lump liquid plastic.

Go on now go. Walk out the door.

You don't look half the girl you did now your gel bra's on the floor.

Weren't you the one who tried to fool me with your bull?

Did you think I'd fumble,

with a lot less than a handful?

I will survive, I will survive,

cos as long as I've got Playboy then my dream is still alive.

With a tissue and the mag, I dream of the perfect shag.

I will survive, I will survive... hey hey

It was very weird. It was quite bizarre.

When your boobies disappeared as you removed your bra.

I just couldn't help myself. I just had to have a cry,

when I realised your breasts were in such a short supply.

Go on now go. This is goodbye,

until you find a way to make your knockers pleasing to the eye

Your bum is getting bigger, each time you use the loo

So wipe the bog roll on your tits and maybe they'll be bigger too.

Go on now go. You'll get no hugs.

I think that you should call them egg cups and not a set of jugs

With tits as small as that you'll always be a virgin

It's time for something drastic

Maybe try a plastic surgeon

I will survive, I will survive,

cos as long as I've got Playboy then my dream is still alive.

With a tissue and the mag, I dream of the perfect shag.

I will survive, I will survive... hey hey"

fucking brilliant haha

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Great!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is hilarious :P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol x I'm taking that to a hen party sat x

Excellent x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Omg that is great. Hahaha "

Lol thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Our lass said go out and buy something that makes me look beautiful so i did i come back with 20 cans of lager."

Lmfao good one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"SING IT GIRLS!

At first I was afraid,

I was petrified!

When you said you had 10 inches, lord I almost died.

But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,

that I grew strong...

and knew that I could take you on

BUT THERE YOU ARE

Another lie

I was ready for a Big Mac and you brought me a French Fry,

I should have known that it was bullshit,

just a sad pathetic dream,

Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in your jeans,

Go on now go....walk out the door!

don't you promise me 10 inches and then give me only 4!

You are such a prat to think that I wouldn't find it out,

Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?

I will survive,

I will survive!

As long as I have all my batteries,

my sex life's gona thrive!

I will always have good sex

with a handful of latex!

I will survive

I will survive!

HEY HEY!

Brilliant x "

Cheers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Great!"

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol x I'm taking that to a hen party sat x

Excellent x "

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By *bovethekneeCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire / Herefordshire

For her birthday, my ex wanted something that went from 0 to 100 in under 2 seconds, so I bought her some weighing scales.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant,should be big hit on karaoke nights.

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By *jgoofyCouple
over a year ago

worthing

"The wife has just text me that Gavin from AutoGlass has just been around and injected his special resin into her crack......Now I'm not usually suspicious, but ive got the fucking car.

Brilliant lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both versions had me chuckling. Great stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should both get together and write next years Eurovision song lyrics. I'm sure we could come up with some cracking outfits lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think you should both get together and write next years Eurovision song lyrics. I'm sure we could come up with some cracking outfits lol

Lol it's be interesting that's for sure

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