FabSwingers.com forum: acceptable for blokes to suck themselves of?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time

See I can suck myself off, can but don't. I don't because guess its seen as weird tend to find. My fellow man in society seems to frown upon such actions and women well had some weird experiences and reactions from them, such as saying I'm gay by sucking my own cock.

I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuckinell! If only i could reach!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I could suck myself off I don't think I'd ever leave the house! Probably best that I can't do it

If you happen to have this super power then fill yer boots, not sure what it's got to do with anyone else. You wouldn't ask someone else for permission to masturbate so no need to for this imho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I could do it, spit, not swallow mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If yer average geezer could give himself a nosh the economy would grind to a halt as no one would leave the house in the morning

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If yer average geezer could give himself a nosh the economy would grind to a halt as no one would leave the house in the morning"

Haha that's funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol"

I have an image in my head of naked men frantically rocking on their backs like stranded turtles in the effort to suck themselves now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've wasted YEARS already!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I could suck myself off I don't think I'd ever leave the house! Probably best that I can't do it

If you happen to have this super power then fill yer boots, not sure what it's got to do with anyone else. You wouldn't ask someone else for permission to masturbate so no need to for this imho."

Yeah bud your right. Its only that my ex gave me all this crap about it. That when do that means am gay. I told her so gay wank...she said no..buy said its not right guys sucking themselves off...looking back on it I wonder if she was just worried she had lost her position as chief bj'er haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol

I have an image in my head of naked men frantically rocking on their backs like stranded turtles in the effort to suck themselves now

Haha yeah then many a&he's full of blokes with injured backs haha

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"

Ducking oneself off? You must be quackers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've wasted YEARS already! "

Why?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?

Ducking oneself off? You must be quackers."

Haha meant sucking, its a touch screen for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol

I have an image in my head of naked men frantically rocking on their backs like stranded turtles in the effort to suck themselves now

Me too, can't stop laughing

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

Its like the old joke...why do dogs lick their bollocks ?.......cos they can

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

It's your mouth and your cock, if you want to self suck and enjoy it, do it.

Do you ask permission before having a wank or others if it's acceptable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time

I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"

Wouldn't do it at a meet. Others may feel superfluous

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey it takes me all my effort to tie my laces let alone nosh my own cock off!

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

slow down, I'm trying to take notes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.

That sounds like a broken back when the chair slips away. No doubt that one would work to risky besides

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"slow down, I'm trying to take notes

Haha I've stuck basic instructions up few messages back

Don't blame me if you hurt u'd back though or never leave the house again as some bloke said haha

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

"Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.

That sounds like a broken back when the chair slips away. No doubt that one would work to risky besides"

im worried about the health and safety aspect of this one

and how would you explain that one to the paramedics when it all goes horribly wrong lol

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

. okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move"

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time

I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"
I wish I could, lucky you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's your mouth and your cock, if you want to self suck and enjoy it, do it.

Do you ask permission before having a wank or others if it's acceptable?

Do whatever you like.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Nope. Doesn't work. Bloody sore.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

not sure where acceptable comes into it.

if I wanted to suck my own cock, I would and the thought of others accepting that wouldn't enter my mind....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.

That sounds like a broken back when the chair slips away. No doubt that one would work to risky besides

im worried about the health and safety aspect of this one

and how would you explain that one to the paramedics when it all goes horribly wrong lol"

I'm still trying to work out how a guy can get his cock in his mouth if he flips his legs over the back of his head, isn't it anatomically impossible, he'd surely have to bring his legs forwards over his shoulders for his cock to be within reaching distance of his mouth?! Maybe I'm just overthinking it and to be honest I'm not sure why Im thinking about it at all!

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By *w33tCh33ks91TV/TS
over a year ago

Manchester

I've always wanted to play with a guy that can self suck... I find it so horny

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By *ikkixxWoman
over a year ago

northampton

Ha ha this is so funny, I work in a hospital, I shall be looking out for sheepish looking guys with back injuries tonight!

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth

I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.

That sounds like a broken back when the chair slips away. No doubt that one would work to risky besides"
I ment an armchair or a sofa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth

I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman

then I take off my hat to you as the fire brigade saved our house 4 years ago when we had a bad fire..I will be eternally grateful to them and still take cakes and buns to the station every year with our little un to thank them

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth

I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman

and on behalf of all my ex firefighting bretherin we appreciate the show of gratitude, but for gods sake dont get stuck in embarrassing situations especially not naked because firefighters dine out on them lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth

I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman

if I get naked firemen will 'dine out on me'?!?

*runs to dial 999*

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth

I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman

if I get naked firemen will 'dine out on me'?!?

*runs to dial 999*"

nee naa nee naa what was the address ? On our way lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol

I have an image in my head of naked men frantically rocking on their backs like stranded turtles in the effort to suck themselves now

Me too, can't stop laughing

I only got to the third stage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally. ..I for one love to see a guy do this!...(fem)..no shame in it...doesnt make you gay!!...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes horny to watch, but I have never seen it done in real life. Days are gone when I can spunk into my own mouth while rolling back. Hot hot to watch

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By *RS79Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Christ if i tired that now i would put my back out for weeks!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Pmsl at some replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My question is.....can I watch?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How funny these comments. I think you should indulge us with a photo of how you can reach

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My question is.....can I watch?

Perhaps so.

Have twice shared my cock in a two way bj, that's my cock between my mouth and a females mouth, kinda in mine then in hers, our lips touching with helmet between us, was very erotic and sexy but boy did we do some laughing. So perhaps you could join in after you've had a watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question is.....can I watch?

Perhaps so.

I would probably laugh a bit too. It does sound erotically funny

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My question is.....can I watch?

Perhaps so.

I would probably laugh a bit too. It does sound erotically funny "

Yeah have laughed every time, is hard not to when the person your with laughs, its a funny erotic experience and one I often recall in the wank bank of memories

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth

I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman

if I get naked firemen will 'dine out on me'?!?

*runs to dial 999*

nee naa nee naa what was the address ? On our way lol

lol hang on...I havent got my buns out yet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How funny these comments. I think you should indulge us with a photo of how you can reach

Kinda need someone to take one for me. Have tried to take self doing it before ain't easy. Is that an offer to take pics for me

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth

I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman

if I get naked firemen will 'dine out on me'?!?

*runs to dial 999*

nee naa nee naa what was the address ? On our way lol

lol hang on...I havent got my buns out yet

mame thats not a problem we can do that for you

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move"
ha ha very fuking funny,Thats 3hours and im still wedged in the bath piss all over me cause i couldn't hold it in and my foreskin is stuck between my front 2teeth..heEELPp

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol"

Video or it didn't happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you want to do it and enjoy it why the hell not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the dinner table,no.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"At the dinner table,no."

* chuckles *

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I would worry about a guy who could do it and didn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok I'll admit it, I used to be able to do it in my teens through 30's. It really confused me as to it's appropriateness but I eventually didn't care. It felt great. I can't try it any more as I have had major back surgery and my belly is too big lol !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol"

Please............at my age, I can't even get past Stage 3 of all that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.

I tried that the other day. Went through the window and ended up lying in the road in front of a milk float. Got arrested for gross indecency in front of a milk float

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"if you want to do it and enjoy it why the hell not"

agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I could suck myself off 2 things would happen.

1, I'd stay in bed all day sucking myself off.

2, I'd starve to death because I'd too busy with number 1 to eat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol

Please............at my age, I can't even get past Stage 3 of all that! "

Funny but if your serious try a spread bar on your ankles as you fill legs over, hang your arms if can over thighs and push down. This will either work for you or the fire brigade will be needed again haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you could suck your own cock, wouldn't it be like trying to tickle yourself?

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

I bet thats the only reason blokes ever take up yoga....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you could suck your own cock, wouldn't it be like trying to tickle yourself?"
Same thing as using your hands.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you could suck your own cock, wouldn't it be like trying to tickle yourself?"

No why would be any different than having a wank. And I don't agree with science anyway with regards to not being able to tickle yourself. I think depends upon how one defines a tickle...the simple soft touch...finger rolling over skin, air temperature, other factors, think its easy to tickle oneself

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I bet thats the only reason blokes ever take up yoga...."

Yoga is peace of the mind, however does help with being flexible, but long term lot of yoga will end up with bad joints unless done along with great diet etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol"

Ok, I got onto my back, but wasn't sure which way to spread my legs?

I flipped then over my head but I got my foot caught in the curtains.

I'm currently trapped on the window sill with a curtain over my head, my cock up my nose and my bollocks are trapped in the pelmet.

Can someone tell me what the next stage is please?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Flexibility, as any yoga practitioner knows, increases with practise. So guys who cant do it today, keep at it! There are other positions for it, including a seated position, where head lowers down. And just as with any new muscle work, just do a little to start with, to prevent strains and aches after. A good rub down after may help, and nurse Sophie can ease your strain too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So selfsuckers,spit or swallow?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blimey it takes me all my effort to tie my laces let alone nosh my own cock off!

this whole thread has some hilarious comments. OP you go for it seeing as you can. Who cares what anyone else thinks

Thanks for the thread though, I needed cheering up

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By *cottybhoyMan
over a year ago

falkirk

As a lad I must admit it have tried and enjoyed it. Then I discovered the joys of women lol

Now scared that a big boy would shag my arse if they caught me in such a vulnerable position lol

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol"

Were these instructions given to you by a contortionist

or out of necessity you developed them yourself, I think I ll leave it to the ladies,

On another upside,,, feck it s the only time my wife is quiet

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By *encarolCouple
over a year ago

Tyneside

wish i was more flexable,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need to be ashamed of sucking yourself off.I did it from 16 yrs of age regularly and loved it.Alas I started putting weight on and my belly got in the way,happy days.I once did it with another bloke who could do it as well,its a big turn on watching it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wonder after this post several weeks ago...how many guys ended up in a&e lol

Pmsl

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By *encarolCouple
over a year ago

Tyneside

Oh for a few extra inches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be able to suck myself off until I broke my neck and my back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's never acceptable for a bloke to suck himself off. Not in Mc Donald's, not in Poundstretcher, not in his local. It's just wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)

When u'd hard

Lay on your back

Open your legs wide

Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor

Now using one hand hold your cock up way

Lean forward with your head

Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth

Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.

Please no one blame me for injured backs lol

Were these instructions given to you by a contortionist

or out of necessity you developed them yourself, I think I ll leave it to the ladies,

On another upside,,, feck it s the only time my wife is quiet

"
Wife quiet says the man with single guy on hes profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I used to be able to suck myself off until I broke my neck and my back

That's not good. How that happen? You OK now?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's never acceptable for a bloke to suck himself off. Not in Mc Donald's, not in Poundstretcher, not in his local. It's just wrong"

See you quoted some fine establishments haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See I can suck myself off, can but don't. "

But you clearly have...

So, Does that mean you've caught ghey?...

Cos that should answer your question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use to be able to suck my own cock when I was a lot younger unfortunately I m not as flexible now as I use to be,,,

but enjoyed it at the time and didn't consider it any different than wanking myself off ,,

but must admitt I never told anyone so nice to know I was one of many enjoying that pleasure !

,,,,,,,,,, Must start going to those yoga classes ! Lol !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth

I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How funny these comments. I think you should indulge us with a photo of how you can reach

Kinda need someone to take one for me. Have tried to take self doing it before ain't easy. Is that an offer to take pics for me"
Your not my any chance harry houdini,s great great, grandson are yer he knew out to get out of a tight spot thou you want to get in to one...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your not my any chance harry houdini,s great great, grandson are yer he knew out to get out of a tight spot thou you want to get in to one...

You guessed right!

Not....actually funny thing you should bring up Houdini.....he was friends with....I studied up on his friend as he was a very wealthy man....who died...this is a long story haha...cut it short Indiana Jones type quest to find a diamond and gold necklace buried in a tomb.... haha couldn't possibly do it but always thought film.....™

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

i think thats why we ve got hands and baby oil is a nice option .. why suck ourselves off when there is a whole site of lovely ladies and possibly gents to do it for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's not good. How that happen? You OK now?"

D*unk driver mounted the kerb and knocked me over. Yeah i'm getting there eventually thak you! Especially as the dpctors said I would never walk again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's going to be some people getting their 15 mins of fame on one of those 'Emergency 999' programs I fear.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That's not good. How that happen? You OK now?

D*unk driver mounted the kerb and knocked me over. Yeah i'm getting there eventually thak you! Especially as the dpctors said I would never walk again!

That's not good. Sorry to hear that. Well least you survived. Glad your getting there....are advancing in medical science all the time and know that can help first hand. My mate lost his leg coming off a motor bike. At first the false legs all seemed crap. Then few advances in materials and design and hey got a leg better than a real one lol well seems to be many advantages for him in his line of work that a titanium leg will support the weight of a bike car engine.... benefits from a negative for him.

So you still go a bike?

I ain't been on one since an accident. Came off a bike in 3rd world country. Was not a plesent experience in a dirty 3rd world hospital in some back water dive with a black kid screaming the roof down in bed next to you and blood and dirt everywhere. Plus guy wanted $600 to stop me bleeding and then another $1000 to stitch me up...what choice did have...nightmare was lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can also do this and agree nothing wrong with it :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did it loads of times when I was younger and could lie on my back up against the wall and put my legs either side of my head.My mouth could just reach below the bell end.I would say to you try it at least once otherwise you will be wondering for the rest of your life what it would have been like because as you get older your bones start stiffening up and its impossible to do it.Wish I could still do it now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time

I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"

I think impressive that you are so flexible but not to the point I would want to watch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i remember i read about a guy once who had surgery to remove ribs just so he'd be able to reach, afterwards stating I don't need any women now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i remember i read about a guy once who had surgery to remove ribs just so he'd be able to reach, afterwards stating I don't need any women now.

Well hes just siling down then!! Basically a fucking idiot!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i remember i read about a guy once who had surgery to remove ribs just so he'd be able to reach, afterwards stating I don't need any women now.

That's really extreme

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move

stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys

pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol

tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth

I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman

That sounds like the wall of shame we had in A and E for all the xrays of things found in rectums... The beer bottle went to theatre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's never acceptable for a bloke to suck himself off. Not in Mc Donald's, not in Poundstretcher, not in his local. It's just wrong

See you quoted some fine establishments haha

Currently on a ban from all of them. I blame you for putting ideas into my head

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By *he Master JMan
over a year ago

Southall

What the hell did we do before the Internet lmao

Q WHY DOES A DOG LICK HIS BALLS

A BECAUSE HE CAN

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What the hell did we do before the Internet lmao

Q WHY DOES A DOG LICK HIS BALLS

A BECAUSE HE CAN

That reminds me of my dad telling me why dogs sniff each other's bums.

Apparently there was a massive dog party years ago but the dogs had to hang their bums up at the entrance before going in.

Well apparently there was a big fire and all of the dogs ran out, grabbing any old bum at the exit.

Ever since they've been trying to sort out whose bum is whose, hence the whole sniffing thing.

True story

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time

I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"

Deffo Ghey!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time

I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"

If you swallow, does it get recycled?

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By *he Master JMan
over a year ago

Southall

"What the hell did we do before the Internet lmao

Q WHY DOES A DOG LICK HIS BALLS

A BECAUSE HE CAN

That reminds me of my dad telling me why dogs sniff each other's bums.

Apparently there was a massive dog party years ago but the dogs had to hang their bums up at the entrance before going in.

Well apparently there was a big fire and all of the dogs ran out, grabbing any old bum at the exit.

Ever since they've been trying to sort out whose bum is whose, hence the whole sniffing thing.

True story"

Lmfao maybe that is what my sub suffers from

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What the hell did we do before the Internet lmao

Q WHY DOES A DOG LICK HIS BALLS

A BECAUSE HE CAN

That reminds me of my dad telling me why dogs sniff each other's bums.

Apparently there was a massive dog party years ago but the dogs had to hang their bums up at the entrance before going in.

Well apparently there was a big fire and all of the dogs ran out, grabbing any old bum at the exit.

Ever since they've been trying to sort out whose bum is whose, hence the whole sniffing thing.

True story"

Thats a well funny story...made me really laugh. Great stuff!

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time

I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"

I can't be arsed to read the entire thread, but I'm probably going to basically say the same as a lot of men. I'd have a lot more money, have been out less often snd been bloody good at it by now. Hell I know I'm good at it, 've been told so and I do swallow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im not having any ribs removed just so l can give myself a blow job

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By *uzi Jones 26Woman
over a year ago

The Devil's Lair

Pass me some ice too cool down

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

"Its like the old joke...why do dogs lick their bollocks ?.......cos they can

I was in a pub a few years ago, a woman was lambasting a man and calling him a dog.

His reply was 'if men were dogs, we wouldn't need woman to lick our balls for us'

I think that says it all lol.

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By *rsK69Woman
over a year ago

Neath

Brilliant thread!! Extremely amusing indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could be a new trend..

posting a selfie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/04/14 23:48:48]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Deffo Ghey!!!

That answer coming from in breads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im not having any ribs removed just so l can give myself a blow job"

So Adam from the bible could give himself a nosh? Would you Adam and Eve it?

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