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Proving ones worthiness

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So being a single guy on fab, we all know times can be rough and rocky when trying to get attention from a potential lover. (I'm sure all single guys will relate) but seeing as our first impression must be either from a message or our pictures, what do women want? Do you want a provocative message saying all the things we would like to do to you? (And hope it turns you on...) or do you want a simple hello how are you? I know not everybody is the same but I am driving myself bonkers trying to figure women out! And I'm starting to believe what all the older fellows have told me....we will never understand women!

Thanks for listening to my rant,

Happy fabbing all!

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

You've just answered your our question.lol dont try it will eat you up till you're bitter and twisted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are very discrete about swinging, so what puts us off,is if you are happy to show your face on your profile, then how do we know you will respect out privacy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This is awkward because I have my face as my profile picture!

But I respect that in the professional world I can see why you would want that!

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Not all women are going to want the same thing.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"So being a single guy on fab, we all know times can be rough and rocky when trying to get attention from a potential lover. (I'm sure all single guys will relate) but seeing as our first impression must be either from a message or our pictures, what do women want? Do you want a provocative message saying all the things we would like to do to you? (And hope it turns you on...) or do you want a simple hello how are you? I know not everybody is the same but I am driving myself bonkers trying to figure women out! And I'm starting to believe what all the older fellows have told me....we will never understand women!

Thanks for listening to my rant,

Happy fabbing all! "

Have you tried going into your local chatroom and chatting to the people there. You never know - you might strike a conversation with someone who might be interested in finding out more about you over a drink or something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just started printing a book called understanding women. It's printing at the rate of sixty pages an hour. Your grandchildren may see a final copy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not all women are going to want the same thing. "
Good point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every woman wants different things like every man! Right?

However. .based on my own view and quite a lot I have read on here. ..seeing a profile full of photos of his cock..doesn't usually do it, UNLESS there are other photos. ..torso...etc...and No...I don't mean face pics. Those can be sent privately or on request if you wish to..

With regards to the message itself, again very subjective! Personally I like a little conversation but not an essay! Be polite. Humour works! But messages like 'fancy a fuck'...' hiya'....'how are you' ....dont work for me. Some may not mind though.

I know its a swingers site but there are a lot of bright articulate people on here and so it is my guess that they appreciate a little effort...I certainly do!

But thats just my opinion. Others may disagree.

Ultimately I wouldn't overthink it. What works for one, won't work for another. You can only be you!

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh it's quite rare that I'm put off by a first message cos I know how hard it is to know what to write sometimes.

For me OP I would be more put off by your profile itself.

The disclaimer in capitals is pointless and like being shouted at, as it's so prominent I actually went to read it first and missed your proper text.

On the subject of your text it's a bit limited, too short, says almost nothing about you or what you can offer just you want a mature woman to fulfill your fantasy.

Get some content in there, look at successful male profiles, add a bit of gentle humor and get rid of the disclaimer it serves no purpose.

When you send a first message, take time to read their profile and be natural and friendly, good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

For me personally, I read a profile before I open a message, if the profile is crap, I don't open the message.

If I get as far as the message, neither a porn style message, nor a 'hello, how are you' will cut it, both would be deleted.

I have plenty of things on my profile that people can use to show they've read a little about me. Make an effort, so will I.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend. "

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing "

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work "

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend. "

Exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid "

Quite rightly so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so "

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obsessed with your cock

Your age, would you not meet someone between 19-30?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/03/14 08:20:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!"

Fair enough, but what makes yiu think your worth the effort? There are loads of single females on here, what makes you stand out? These are the questions single hits get asked in here all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!"

I think you've missed the point here. If a guy sees making conversation an effort then yes I wouldn't want to meet them....but I wouldn't expect a guy to prove his worthiness and jump through hoops. Its a 2 way process which a lot seem to forget....you aren't doing the guy a favour by agreeing to meet them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not all women are going to want the same thing. "

And just because they want something now doesn't mean in 10 seconds they will still want it.

Women have a creepy weirdo / stalker detector built in at birth .

What you can do today may be right , but tomorrow it may flag you up as not suitable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!

I think you've missed the point here. If a guy sees making conversation an effort then yes I wouldn't want to meet them....but I wouldn't expect a guy to prove his worthiness and jump through hoops. Its a 2 way process which a lot seem to forget....you aren't doing the guy a favour by agreeing to meet them!"

Well said,

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

I'd be careful of taking any advice from other single men on here , they're probably going to want you to fail so they have more chance themselves lol just think about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Advising the OP to not make any effort is going to get him loads of meets isnt it?! We all know the score. I don't agree that single guys should jump thr hoops or prove their worth. They should however read profiles and respect preferences. Telling them to make no effort helps no one. I'm not looking for single guys. I have filters in place. At certain times , like when I am going to a social, I take them off so people can contact me if they wish. The number of "fancy a fuk' messages I receive is ludicrous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd be careful of taking any advice from other single men on here , they're probably going to want you to fail so they have more chance themselves lol just think about it "

Rubbish,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Advising the OP to not make any effort is going to get him loads of meets isnt it?! We all know the score. I don't agree that single guys should jump thr hoops or prove their worth. They should however read profiles and respect preferences. Telling them to make no effort helps no one. I'm not looking for single guys. I have filters in place. At certain times , like when I am going to a social, I take them off so people can contact me if they wish. The number of "fancy a fuk' messages I receive is ludicrous. "

No one is saying don't make any effort, but why should he do things a certain way just to fit into someone's meeting criteria? It shouldn't be an effort just to have a decent conversion with someone. If it is then nothing you or I say will help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Advising the OP to not make any effort is going to get him loads of meets isnt it?! We all know the score. I don't agree that single guys should jump thr hoops or prove their worth. They should however read profiles and respect preferences. Telling them to make no effort helps no one. I'm not looking for single guys. I have filters in place. At certain times , like when I am going to a social, I take them off so people can contact me if they wish. The number of "fancy a fuk' messages I receive is ludicrous. "

Who advised him to make no effort?? If yiu get loads of fancy a fuck messages then block single guys, problem solved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!"

Not sure if this response was to my agreement and the implication that I respond to fancy a fuck and that I'm somehow less worthy than you? If so, you have got it so wrong, I was agreeing with him not jumping through hoops...why should anyone have to? Too many women on here think they are some sort of golden gift and that men should be on their knees in eternal gratitude....I took it that that was what he was meaning about not jumping through hoops. Perhaps realign your thinking to seeing people as individuals and not make insulting assumptions....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Advising the OP to not make any effort is going to get him loads of meets isnt it?! We all know the score. I don't agree that single guys should jump thr hoops or prove their worth. They should however read profiles and respect preferences. Telling them to make no effort helps no one. I'm not looking for single guys. I have filters in place. At certain times , like when I am going to a social, I take them off so people can contact me if they wish. The number of "fancy a fuk' messages I receive is ludicrous.

Who advised him to make no effort?? If yiu get loads of fancy a fuck messages then block single guys, problem solved "

If you had read my post you would not have had to ask your question about filters. As for your other question about me having to standout - again read my post - not looking for single guys. I do alot more than ok in clubs and the real world thank you.

To the OP do a forum search on the subject it has been done to death.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should go and read Men are from Mars, women are from Venus and you'll get all the answers you need. It is actually quite an informative book on why we all behave like we do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Advising the OP to not make any effort is going to get him loads of meets isnt it?! We all know the score. I don't agree that single guys should jump thr hoops or prove their worth. They should however read profiles and respect preferences. Telling them to make no effort helps no one. I'm not looking for single guys. I have filters in place. At certain times , like when I am going to a social, I take them off so people can contact me if they wish. The number of "fancy a fuk' messages I receive is ludicrous.

Who advised him to make no effort?? If yiu get loads of fancy a fuck messages then block single guys, problem solved

If you had read my post you would not have had to ask your question about filters. As for your other question about me having to standout - again read my post - not looking for single guys. I do alot more than ok in clubs and the real world thank you.

To the OP do a forum search on the subject it has been done to death."

I have read your posts, so what if the subject has been done to death, that's irrelevant .if you have blocked single men why do you get a 'ludicrous ' amount of 'fancy a fuck' messages. And what makes you stand out to couples??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread title makes me think of Wayne's world.

We're not worthy

We're not worthy

I think being polite and having a profile that says something about you is more important than the message you send.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Advising the OP to not make any effort is going to get him loads of meets isnt it?! We all know the score. I don't agree that single guys should jump thr hoops or prove their worth. They should however read profiles and respect preferences. Telling them to make no effort helps no one. I'm not looking for single guys. I have filters in place. At certain times , like when I am going to a social, I take them off so people can contact me if they wish. The number of "fancy a fuk' messages I receive is ludicrous.

Who advised him to make no effort?? If yiu get loads of fancy a fuck messages then block single guys, problem solved

If you had read my post you would not have had to ask your question about filters. As for your other question about me having to standout - again read my post - not looking for single guys. I do alot more than ok in clubs and the real world thank you.

To the OP do a forum search on the subject it has been done to death.

I have read your posts, so what if the subject has been done to death, that's irrelevant .if you have blocked single men why do you get a 'ludicrous ' amount of 'fancy a fuck' messages. And what makes you stand out to couples?? "

I will spell it out again. At times like when I go to socials my filters are off so people can message me who are going. (Yes I can talk to single men before you say why talk to them) Unfortunately that doesn't stop the fancy a fuck messages. Does that make sense to you?? My profile. My choice how I run it. I didnt ask for profile advice so you can stop making this personal now.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Relax everyone, it is Saturday morning. Let's have a cup of tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend. "

Just be yourself and try not to let it frazzle your brain trying to understand what women want,we purposely change all the time to annoy you all anyway

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Just be yourself and try not to let it frazzle your brain trying to understand what women want,we purposely change all the time to annoy you all anyway "

Hehe

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By *edonistic needsWoman
over a year ago

sexton

What attracts me is if. You've been bothered to read my profile as I have in there what will be deleted ( one worders unintelligent remarks) n why men think a sentence of "wanna fuck or wanna suck this" will get me interested I've no idea lol x put effort in and you ll get rewards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Advising the OP to not make any effort is going to get him loads of meets isnt it?! We all know the score. I don't agree that single guys should jump thr hoops or prove their worth. They should however read profiles and respect preferences. Telling them to make no effort helps no one. I'm not looking for single guys. I have filters in place. At certain times , like when I am going to a social, I take them off so people can contact me if they wish. The number of "fancy a fuk' messages I receive is ludicrous.

Who advised him to make no effort?? If yiu get loads of fancy a fuck messages then block single guys, problem solved

If you had read my post you would not have had to ask your question about filters. As for your other question about me having to standout - again read my post - not looking for single guys. I do alot more than ok in clubs and the real world thank you.

To the OP do a forum search on the subject it has been done to death.

I have read your posts, so what if the subject has been done to death, that's irrelevant .if you have blocked single men why do you get a 'ludicrous ' amount of 'fancy a fuck' messages. And what makes you stand out to couples??

I will spell it out again. At times like when I go to socials my filters are off so people can message me who are going. (Yes I can talk to single men before you say why talk to them) Unfortunately that doesn't stop the fancy a fuck messages. Does that make sense to you?? My profile. My choice how I run it. I didnt ask for profile advice so you can stop making this personal now."

O dear, you obviously can't or won't answer my question, your choice as you often state in the forums. It's also peoples 'choice' as to who they message and what they say, maybe better filters and re written profile might help with unwanted emails

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sipping a lovely cup of tea at the mo .......

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"I'm sipping a lovely cup of tea at the mo ......."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm sipping a lovely cup of tea at the mo ......."

Oooo yes please I've just woken up, would love a brew, mines weak black with one sugar

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow


"I'm sipping a lovely cup of tea at the mo .......

Oooo yes please I've just woken up, would love a brew, mines weak black with one sugar "

right just be a minute, I'll put the kettle digestives with that ? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm sipping a lovely cup of tea at the mo .......

Oooo yes please I've just woken up, would love a brew, mines weak black with one sugar "

On its way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!"

Totally agree!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!

Totally agree!!!"

What do you agree with??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm sipping a lovely cup of tea at the mo .......

Oooo yes please I've just woken up, would love a brew, mines weak black with one sugar

right just be a minute, I'll put the kettle digestives with that ? Lol "

Perfect

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I've just started printing a book called understanding women. It's printing at the rate of sixty pages an hour. Your grandchildren may see a final copy. "

Guess all those blank pages won't cost you much in ink and will be easy to recycle!

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm sipping a lovely cup of tea at the mo .......

Oooo yes please I've just woken up, would love a brew, mines weak black with one sugar

On its way "

I'll make room and budge over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm sipping a lovely cup of tea at the mo .......

Oooo yes please I've just woken up, would love a brew, mines weak black with one sugar

On its way

I'll make room and budge over "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!

Totally agree!!!

What do you agree with??"

That I prefer to be seen as more than just a hole! I think that if single guys saw the messages we recieve, you might understand.

I certainly believe its a two way process! Of course it is! But the OP is simply asking about first messages. So if a first message says 'fancy a fuck'.... personally that doesnt turn me on. I am a human being and like a little conversation....it can be fun and sexy but I like someone who shows me they have some intelligence, a sense if humour....a little flirtatiousness...rather than 'hi'..'fancy a fuck' etc etc. ..

I know its a swingers site but we can still behave with some social skills can't we? I don't have difficulties meeting men on here or in real life but those I meet are polite, fun, and can converse...and in my experience. .the sex is ultimately much better! Conversely I wouldnt send such banal messages to a man either. I would try to get his attention with a little effort. I wont jump through hoops nor do I expect him to either. But some mutual polite respectful chat....is always appreciated on both sides I think. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!

Totally agree!!!

What do you agree with??

That I prefer to be seen as more than just a hole! I think that if single guys saw the messages we recieve, you might understand.

I certainly believe its a two way process! Of course it is! But the OP is simply asking about first messages. So if a first message says 'fancy a fuck'.... personally that doesnt turn me on. I am a human being and like a little conversation....it can be fun and sexy but I like someone who shows me they have some intelligence, a sense if humour....a little flirtatiousness...rather than 'hi'..'fancy a fuck' etc etc. ..

I know its a swingers site but we can still behave with some social skills can't we? I don't have difficulties meeting men on here or in real life but those I meet are polite, fun, and can converse...and in my experience. .the sex is ultimately much better! Conversely I wouldnt send such banal messages to a man either. I would try to get his attention with a little effort. I wont jump through hoops nor do I expect him to either. But some mutual polite respectful chat....is always appreciated on both sides I think. X"

I agree to a certain extent, 'fancy a fuck' messages only work with certain people at certain times, nothing wrong with that. People who put in a 'little effort' will probably get more replies, it is the profiles that state how 'fussy' and how demanding they are that I can't understand, they are inviting sycophants and chancres to message them. Any profiles with a list of dos and donts appear needy and demanding, and in most cases the authors are not worth the effort. Could be an insecurity problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!

Totally agree!!!

What do you agree with??

That I prefer to be seen as more than just a hole! I think that if single guys saw the messages we recieve, you might understand.

I certainly believe its a two way process! Of course it is! But the OP is simply asking about first messages. So if a first message says 'fancy a fuck'.... personally that doesnt turn me on. I am a human being and like a little conversation....it can be fun and sexy but I like someone who shows me they have some intelligence, a sense if humour....a little flirtatiousness...rather than 'hi'..'fancy a fuck' etc etc. ..

I know its a swingers site but we can still behave with some social skills can't we? I don't have difficulties meeting men on here or in real life but those I meet are polite, fun, and can converse...and in my experience. .the sex is ultimately much better! Conversely I wouldnt send such banal messages to a man either. I would try to get his attention with a little effort. I wont jump through hoops nor do I expect him to either. But some mutual polite respectful chat....is always appreciated on both sides I think. X

I agree to a certain extent, 'fancy a fuck' messages only work with certain people at certain times, nothing wrong with that. People who put in a 'little effort' will probably get more replies, it is the profiles that state how 'fussy' and how demanding they are that I can't understand, they are inviting sycophants and chancres to message them. Any profiles with a list of dos and donts appear needy and demanding, and in most cases the authors are not worth the effort. Could be an insecurity problem "

I have to smile when I read people make such statements about someone with a list of dos abd donts being insecure????

There is a good reason to have dos and donts! We are all different. Different wants and needs. We are not all turned on by the same thing. What might bother one person will not matter to someone else and vice versa. That doesnt make someone insecure in itself. That is someone saying...this is what I like and this is what I dont. I defend my right to be as fussy as I like. Its my body! If being fussy bothers someone else. .then I think it says more about them than me. If being 'fussy' caused me not to meet guys then maybe I would need to reassess but it doesn't! Its the QUALITY of the men I meet which matters to me. I hope he is fussy too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!

Totally agree!!!

What do you agree with??

That I prefer to be seen as more than just a hole! I think that if single guys saw the messages we recieve, you might understand.

I certainly believe its a two way process! Of course it is! But the OP is simply asking about first messages. So if a first message says 'fancy a fuck'.... personally that doesnt turn me on. I am a human being and like a little conversation....it can be fun and sexy but I like someone who shows me they have some intelligence, a sense if humour....a little flirtatiousness...rather than 'hi'..'fancy a fuck' etc etc. ..

I know its a swingers site but we can still behave with some social skills can't we? I don't have difficulties meeting men on here or in real life but those I meet are polite, fun, and can converse...and in my experience. .the sex is ultimately much better! Conversely I wouldnt send such banal messages to a man either. I would try to get his attention with a little effort. I wont jump through hoops nor do I expect him to either. But some mutual polite respectful chat....is always appreciated on both sides I think. X

I agree to a certain extent, 'fancy a fuck' messages only work with certain people at certain times, nothing wrong with that. People who put in a 'little effort' will probably get more replies, it is the profiles that state how 'fussy' and how demanding they are that I can't understand, they are inviting sycophants and chancres to message them. Any profiles with a list of dos and donts appear needy and demanding, and in most cases the authors are not worth the effort. Could be an insecurity problem

I have to smile when I read people make such statements about someone with a list of dos abd donts being insecure????

There is a good reason to have dos and donts! We are all different. Different wants and needs. We are not all turned on by the same thing. What might bother one person will not matter to someone else and vice versa. That doesnt make someone insecure in itself. That is someone saying...this is what I like and this is what I dont. I defend my right to be as fussy as I like. Its my body! If being fussy bothers someone else. .then I think it says more about them than me. If being 'fussy' caused me not to meet guys then maybe I would need to reassess but it doesn't! Its the QUALITY of the men I meet which matters to me. I hope he is fussy too!

"

I stand by statement, I think it is insecure if your confident in yourself you have no need to be so restrictive? Are yiu so confined by your lists that yiu won't try new things? if yiu have to list what you do and don't then your opening yourself up to sycophants and liars, at the end of the day this is about human interaction, not buying a washing machine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!

Totally agree!!!

What do you agree with??

That I prefer to be seen as more than just a hole! I think that if single guys saw the messages we recieve, you might understand.

I certainly believe its a two way process! Of course it is! But the OP is simply asking about first messages. So if a first message says 'fancy a fuck'.... personally that doesnt turn me on. I am a human being and like a little conversation....it can be fun and sexy but I like someone who shows me they have some intelligence, a sense if humour....a little flirtatiousness...rather than 'hi'..'fancy a fuck' etc etc. ..

I know its a swingers site but we can still behave with some social skills can't we? I don't have difficulties meeting men on here or in real life but those I meet are polite, fun, and can converse...and in my experience. .the sex is ultimately much better! Conversely I wouldnt send such banal messages to a man either. I would try to get his attention with a little effort. I wont jump through hoops nor do I expect him to either. But some mutual polite respectful chat....is always appreciated on both sides I think. X

I agree to a certain extent, 'fancy a fuck' messages only work with certain people at certain times, nothing wrong with that. People who put in a 'little effort' will probably get more replies, it is the profiles that state how 'fussy' and how demanding they are that I can't understand, they are inviting sycophants and chancres to message them. Any profiles with a list of dos and donts appear needy and demanding, and in most cases the authors are not worth the effort. Could be an insecurity problem

I have to smile when I read people make such statements about someone with a list of dos abd donts being insecure????

There is a good reason to have dos and donts! We are all different. Different wants and needs. We are not all turned on by the same thing. What might bother one person will not matter to someone else and vice versa. That doesnt make someone insecure in itself. That is someone saying...this is what I like and this is what I dont. I defend my right to be as fussy as I like. Its my body! If being fussy bothers someone else. .then I think it says more about them than me. If being 'fussy' caused me not to meet guys then maybe I would need to reassess but it doesn't! Its the QUALITY of the men I meet which matters to me. I hope he is fussy too!

I stand by statement, I think it is insecure if your confident in yourself you have no need to be so restrictive? Are yiu so confined by your lists that yiu won't try new things? if yiu have to list what you do and don't then your opening yourself up to sycophants and liars, at the end of the day this is about human interaction, not buying a washing machine."

If my own experience proved you to be right..and me wrong..then I would reassess. But it hasnt. It doesnt mean I am not open to new experiences at all. But I have my boundaries and things I dont like...based on my own experiences. I am a 45 year old woman so my experience is such that by now I think I know myself well..... I don't believe there is anything especially 'restrictive' in my own profile as it happens but I think we are getting away from the OPs original post x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women will like you or they won't.

But you have nothing to prove, my friend.

Well said, don't try to hard, usually if a person requires to much effort they are rarely worth it, remember it's a two way thing

Yeh go for the 'self fulfiling prophecy' that's gonna work

Works for me, why would I bother jumping through hoops just to get laid

Quite rightly so

Well if the 'fancy a fuk' messages work for you then knock yaself out and have fun. Personally I enjoy sex more when I'm seen as more than just a hole. My preference.Fussy? - hell yes!

Totally agree!!!

What do you agree with??

That I prefer to be seen as more than just a hole! I think that if single guys saw the messages we recieve, you might understand.

I certainly believe its a two way process! Of course it is! But the OP is simply asking about first messages. So if a first message says 'fancy a fuck'.... personally that doesnt turn me on. I am a human being and like a little conversation....it can be fun and sexy but I like someone who shows me they have some intelligence, a sense if humour....a little flirtatiousness...rather than 'hi'..'fancy a fuck' etc etc. ..

I know its a swingers site but we can still behave with some social skills can't we? I don't have difficulties meeting men on here or in real life but those I meet are polite, fun, and can converse...and in my experience. .the sex is ultimately much better! Conversely I wouldnt send such banal messages to a man either. I would try to get his attention with a little effort. I wont jump through hoops nor do I expect him to either. But some mutual polite respectful chat....is always appreciated on both sides I think. X

I agree to a certain extent, 'fancy a fuck' messages only work with certain people at certain times, nothing wrong with that. People who put in a 'little effort' will probably get more replies, it is the profiles that state how 'fussy' and how demanding they are that I can't understand, they are inviting sycophants and chancres to message them. Any profiles with a list of dos and donts appear needy and demanding, and in most cases the authors are not worth the effort. Could be an insecurity problem

I have to smile when I read people make such statements about someone with a list of dos abd donts being insecure????

There is a good reason to have dos and donts! We are all different. Different wants and needs. We are not all turned on by the same thing. What might bother one person will not matter to someone else and vice versa. That doesnt make someone insecure in itself. That is someone saying...this is what I like and this is what I dont. I defend my right to be as fussy as I like. Its my body! If being fussy bothers someone else. .then I think it says more about them than me. If being 'fussy' caused me not to meet guys then maybe I would need to reassess but it doesn't! Its the QUALITY of the men I meet which matters to me. I hope he is fussy too!

I stand by statement, I think it is insecure if your confident in yourself you have no need to be so restrictive? Are yiu so confined by your lists that yiu won't try new things? if yiu have to list what you do and don't then your opening yourself up to sycophants and liars, at the end of the day this is about human interaction, not buying a washing machine.

If my own experience proved you to be right..and me wrong..then I would reassess. But it hasnt. It doesnt mean I am not open to new experiences at all. But I have my boundaries and things I dont like...based on my own experiences. I am a 45 year old woman so my experience is such that by now I think I know myself well..... I don't believe there is anything especially 'restrictive' in my own profile as it happens but I think we are getting away from the OPs original post x"

Your right , we are,

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well from last night until this morning, this escalated quickly!

But thank you all for your Imput I sincerely appreciate it.

I will work on making my profile a little my intellectual instead of appearing like a hormone ridden 19 year old (which I am) but thank you all again!

Happy fabbing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well from last night until this morning, this escalated quickly!

But thank you all for your Imput I sincerely appreciate it.

I will work on making my profile a little my intellectual instead of appearing like a hormone ridden 19 year old (which I am) but thank you all again!

Happy fabbing! "

and take off the warning bit, it's pointless and does nothing

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