FabSwingers.com forum: out of order or not?

By *ullmycracker1 OP Man
over a year ago

westmidlands

Last year I was on here with my missus but we decided to take a break and suspend our profile.

I found out 5 months later that she had swapped numbers with a guy on here and they had been texting and swapping intimate pics with each other behind my back

out of order or not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes that is out of order ! Swinging is about trust and being open with each other !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do you think its out of order or do you really need to ask a website how you personally feel about it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hmmm was he fit though?? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she had kept it from you then thats rather sneaky and you have a right to be a bit miffed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends does she know about you single profile on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends does she know about you single profile on here "

Thats exactly what i was thinking

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By *ullmycracker1 OP Man
over a year ago

westmidlands

Yeah she does know

I have no secrets from her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last year I was on here with my missus but we decided to take a break and suspend our profile.

I found out 5 months later that she had swapped numbers with a guy on here and they had been texting and swapping intimate pics with each other behind my back

out of order or not?"

no more so than you keeping a single guy profile on here and using it for whatever you want.

how can you cry mistrust when you are on here anyway, whether looking for anything or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah she does know

I have no secrets from her"

Does she have a profile on here as well?

To answer your original question though, yes Id say it was out of order if you both decided to suspend your profile. I am a bit confused about why you still have a single profile though

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

Anything done by anyone behind another person's back is completely out of order. Unless of course such behavior is mutually agreed upon beforehand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you need to speak to her about it instead of asking strangers what they think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it was a bit sneak of her I suppose, but this again falls in the " only one side of the story category"

Maybe instead of asking on here you should be talking to her about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doing it behind your back is wrong and she knows it otherwise she wouldn't have kept it from you. A textual affair is no different to a real affair in my eyes , perhaps you need to sit down and have a long discussion about where your both heading ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore the above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last year I was on here with my missus but we decided to take a break and suspend our profile.

I found out 5 months later that she had swapped numbers with a guy on here and they had been texting and swapping intimate pics with each other behind my back

out of order or not?"
Wrong place to seek succour here mate! You will be hounded down and mauled by the forum Rottweiler's

I would recommend Jackies problem page for the answers to such heady dilemmas

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By *ullmycracker1 OP Man
over a year ago

westmidlands

I did as soon as I knew

she was embarrassed and very sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

time and time again male and female always think they can get away with it, question is what are you going to do about it if anything

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Last year I was on here with my missus but we decided to take a break and suspend our profile.

I found out 5 months later that she had swapped numbers with a guy on here and they had been texting and swapping intimate pics with each other behind my back

out of order or not?

no more so than you keeping a single guy profile on here and using it for whatever you want.

how can you cry mistrust when you are on here anyway, whether looking for anything or not"

Because he said in answer to does your wife know you are on here "Yeah she does know

I have no secrets from her"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be wondering why she felt the need to flirt with another guy in the 1st place than wondering is it's out of order or not....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't be able to forgive that level of deception. I could learn to live with it but I would never forget it.

Going behind your back like that is out of order. You both decided to take a break from Fab. If she needed to text someone, why did she feel like she could not ask?! Or is there something more going on?

crystal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People will have diffrent views about it!..

I think its just between you and your wife to talk about it...

I personally dont think its wrong to message a guy on here as to keep it as a fantasy and maybe to have some sexual attention & attraction. ..

But to give someone your personal mobile number is kinda out of order..just my opinion...

But like I say its for you & your wife to talk through! ...bambi x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nature of the game unfortunately

theres always gonna be a chance of something like this happening when you open your relationship up to others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nature of the game unfortunately

theres always gonna be a chance of something like this happening when you open your relationship up to others"

Anyone can do this in any relationship. Opening your relationship to others has nothing to do with it.

A liar or a cheater in an open relationship will still be a liar or a cheater in a conventional vanilla type relationship.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nature of the game unfortunately

theres always gonna be a chance of something like this happening when you open your relationship up to others

Anyone can do this in any relationship. Opening your relationship to others has nothing to do with it.

A liar or a cheater in an open relationship will still be a liar or a cheater in a conventional vanilla type relationship.

crystal"

yeh but look at where ur at and whats involved. more chance of it happening on here i think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nature of the game unfortunately

theres always gonna be a chance of something like this happening when you open your relationship up to others

Anyone can do this in any relationship. Opening your relationship to others has nothing to do with it.

A liar or a cheater in an open relationship will still be a liar or a cheater in a conventional vanilla type relationship.

crystal

yeh but look at where ur at and whats involved. more chance of it happening on here i think"

Seriously?! Why do you think that?

I really don't understand your 'logic'

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Last year I was on here with my missus but we decided to take a break and suspend our profile.

I found out 5 months later that she had swapped numbers with a guy on here and they had been texting and swapping intimate pics with each other behind my back

out of order or not?"

...whilst you're on here doing what exactly?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nature of the game unfortunately

theres always gonna be a chance of something like this happening when you open your relationship up to others

Anyone can do this in any relationship. Opening your relationship to others has nothing to do with it.

A liar or a cheater in an open relationship will still be a liar or a cheater in a conventional vanilla type relationship.

crystal

yeh but look at where ur at and whats involved. more chance of it happening on here i think

Seriously?! Why do you think that?

I really don't understand your 'logic'"

i dont need you to understand it lol its my own opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nature of the game unfortunately

theres always gonna be a chance of something like this happening when you open your relationship up to others

Anyone can do this in any relationship. Opening your relationship to others has nothing to do with it.

A liar or a cheater in an open relationship will still be a liar or a cheater in a conventional vanilla type relationship.

crystal

yeh but look at where ur at and whats involved. more chance of it happening on here i think

Seriously?! Why do you think that?

I really don't understand your 'logic'

i dont need you to understand it lol its my own opinion

I thought you might have had a hypothesis, theory or personal experience as to why you think that way as opinions usually have some kind of basis from which they are formed.

I think couples on here are less likely to cheat as they are more likely to be open about their fantasies. If one half of a couple in a conventional relationship had a fantasy, they are less likely to discuss it as they won't want to upset their partner and may go behind their back to get what they want. Couples on here are already open about what they want and are exploring sexual fantasies together. Why would they need to cheat?!

crystal

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"nature of the game unfortunately

theres always gonna be a chance of something like this happening when you open your relationship up to others

Anyone can do this in any relationship. Opening your relationship to others has nothing to do with it.

A liar or a cheater in an open relationship will still be a liar or a cheater in a conventional vanilla type relationship.

crystal

yeh but look at where ur at and whats involved. more chance of it happening on here i think

Seriously?! Why do you think that?

I really don't understand your 'logic'

i dont need you to understand it lol its my own opinion

I thought you might have had a hypothesis, theory or personal experience as to why you think that way as opinions usually have some kind of basis from which they are formed.

crystal"

Crystal is right. I usually find that we disagree with them on this forum but this is exactly right. Cheating is deception, it is not about the sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was thinking more along the lines of feelings developing and pushing someone to go to those lengths

this isnt facebook or part of ur average couples lives. you join up and theres intent to let others in from the start. the a deeper level of intimacy so i think its an easier environment for shit like this to go down in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both have access to this him on PC her on pad and phone, it can be either of us on the forum, or the messages there is nothing hidden and as soon as there was it would be game over in every respect, but as we dont hide anything and usually wait to tell eachother about winks, messages etc and agree on the response it really is a non issue.

The fact you have a single profile and she has a secret message thing going on tells me you are both going to need a lawyer sooner or later.

Any form of deception will = relationship ended in both our books.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/03/14 18:20:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

miss giggles i could not have put it better myself! devious, decieptful and dishonest...the 3D's....unforgiveable in my eyes.

eileen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last year I was on here with my missus but we decided to take a break and suspend our profile.

I found out 5 months later that she had swapped numbers with a guy on here and they had been texting and swapping intimate pics with each other behind my back

out of order or not?"

Maybe not out of order if you have been doing something wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last year I was on here with my missus but we decided to take a break and suspend our profile.

I found out 5 months later that she had swapped numbers with a guy on here and they had been texting and swapping intimate pics with each other behind my back

out of order or not?

Maybe not out of order if you have been doing something wrong.

Surely if he has been doing something wrong or not is irrelevant? it doesn't make what she's been doing any less out of order does it?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

So you found out she was texting another man, sat down and discussed it and she was sorry and embarrassed. I might be being daft but what is it that you want advice on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last year I was on here with my missus but we decided to take a break and suspend our profile.

I found out 5 months later that she had swapped numbers with a guy on here and they had been texting and swapping intimate pics with each other behind my back

out of order or not?

Maybe not out of order if you have been doing something wrong.

Surely if he has been doing something wrong or not is irrelevant? it doesn't make what she's been doing any less out of order does it? "

I think maybe your too nice.

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By *i-shoptonMan
over a year ago

bishopton

First rule of swinging .......

There are no rules in swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First rule of swinging .......

There are no rules in swinging."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your" playing the game" I think, I see this a ploy for a sympathy shag to be honest.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First rule of swinging .......

There are no rules in swinging."

I beg to differ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First rule of swinging .......

There are no rules in swinging."

if you think that ,then you dont know swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last year I was on here with my missus but we decided to take a break and suspend our profile.

I found out 5 months later that she had swapped numbers with a guy on here and they had been texting and swapping intimate pics with each other behind my back

out of order or not?

no more so than you keeping a single guy profile on here and using it for whatever you want.

how can you cry mistrust when you are on here anyway, whether looking for anything or not

Because he said in answer to does your wife know you are on here "Yeah she does know

I have no secrets from her"

but his OP said they both decided to take a break and suspend/delete the profile, but this single one has been active for more than a year, so they either BOTH decided to take a break, or decided to take a break as a couple but he is able to mess about on his own, cant have both.

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

"First rule of swinging .......

There are no rules in swinging."

Ridiculous statement. Not true in most cases.

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