FabSwingers.com forum: Do you get turned in when jealous?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was chatting to this guy and he told me he gets really turned on when he feels jealous. For example if he sees other guys with a woman he is with. He isnt into humiliation, and I am not sure its a cuckold thing from how he describes it but I am trying to understand the psychology of it. Anyone able to offer any thoughts on this? It interests me. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it's the thought that someone that he loves and truly 'belongs' to him is desirable to everyone else. The thought that they can have her/him for a short while whilst he can spend the whole night/day/weekend with her.

...but, that's just my take on things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I asked him if it was that...which is akin to being proud of your partner I suppose but he said it wasnt really. For him....it was feeling jealous which sent him crazy. ..still trying to work it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be completely the opposite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would be completely the opposite "

Me too. I dont like the feeling of jealousy. It makes me feel insecure. He enjoys watching a woman he is with, being fucked by lots of guys... I know lots of guys like that although I dont understand what turns them on about it if they love the woman.. as I wouldn't be able to watch him with lots of women. But that's just me. We are all different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was chatting to this guy and he told me he gets really turned on when he feels jealous. For example if he sees other guys with a woman he is with. He isnt into humiliation, and I am not sure its a cuckold thing from how he describes it but I am trying to understand the psychology of it. Anyone able to offer any thoughts on this? It interests me. Thanks."

This is very much the way I feel .

Before we started swinging ( about 3 years ago ) I was very much the jealous type .

We got together 4 years ago and neither of us had ever done anything like this before .

I hated my jealous tendencies , and this being my third marriage , I wanted it to be my last !

Sex was an overpowering part of our relationship from day one , something neither of us had experienced in past relationships .

Anyway , as our relationship grew , she became more confident , wearing more sexy clothes when we went out , and her confidence made her so sexually attractive .

After a year we got engaged , and despite me feeling jealous of the attention she got when we went out , we discussed swinging and took our first steps .

The first time it happened , just blew my mind . My heart raced , head pounded , and I was so turned on seeing her getting it on with another guy .

It was so wrong , yet everything inside me was telling me it was so right !

I had never been so turned on and although I was insanely jealous , my horniness just overtook and I didn't want it to stop .

Anyway , 3 years after our first time and now married for 18 months , life is so good and we both love the lifestyle .

And I still find it just as hot when we play , still feel a certain amount of jealousy , but that's part of how and why we do it .

I control jealousy now , it no longer controls me . I use it to my advantage , and interestingly , my wife now enjoys similar feelings watching me play with other women .

Hope this helps you understand a little more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont understand why u would swing if it made u jealous.

I find it more a turn on seeing my bf enjoying himself, and knowing that hes feeling amazing and ive helped that happen. to be able to have ur body taken over is a physical feeling and u need to be able to seperate physical and emotional.

People that get jealous are usaly the ppl that would be jealous of everything,

he/she has a bigger tv than me,

Why do they have all the luck?

That should be fucking him/her.

I love to see ppl doing well and always happy for people when they have achived something.

Hence the fact i love to see d have the most amazing time

thats my thoughts any way

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By *errynjuneCouple
over a year ago

Barnsley

I did not realise the jealous police actually existed. If that is case bet she turns me in a first hint of green eyed monster syndrome.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I suspect it's a control issue, however trying to second guess a persons emotional values/drivers is nearly impossible through a third party.

Unless you were doing it for a friend

(Joke)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont understand why u would swing if it made u jealous.

People that get jealous are usaly the ppl that would be jealous of everything,

he/she has a bigger tv than me,

Why do they have all the luck?

That should be fucking him/her.

I love to see ppl doing well and always happy for people when they have achived something.

Hence the fact i love to see d have the most amazing time

thats my thoughts any way

I thought my post would explain things from our perspective .

We love to see people doing well too , and don't wish or want for anything in our lives .

The way we swing works so well for us , despite our admission that there is an element of jealousy . But that jealousy is a huge part of what turns us on !

I guess I didn't make it clear enough ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol sorry was just my thoughts.

But hey everyone has there diffrent feelings it would be a pretty boring world if not.

Tbh only ever seen jealously in a relationship in my life as a bad thing and bad things came frm it(past).

So I find it hard to understand that people can can feel jealous and it not be a problem in there relationship.

I guess thats why they say a little bit of jealousy is healthy. As u guys have just proved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol sorry was just my thoughts.

But hey everyone has there diffrent feelings it would be a pretty boring world if not.

Tbh only ever seen jealously in a relationship in my life as a bad thing and bad things came frm it(past).

So I find it hard to understand that people can can feel jealous and it not be a problem in there relationship.

I guess thats why they say a little bit of jealousy is healthy. As u guys have just proved

It is for us , and so far so good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol sorry was just my thoughts.

But hey everyone has there diffrent feelings it would be a pretty boring world if not.

Tbh only ever seen jealously in a relationship in my life as a bad thing and bad things came frm it(past).

So I find it hard to understand that people can can feel jealous and it not be a problem in there relationship.

I guess thats why they say a little bit of jealousy is healthy. As u guys have just proved

It is for us , and so far so good

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I asked him if it was that...which is akin to being proud of your partner I suppose but he said it wasnt really. For him....it was feeling jealous which sent him crazy. ..still trying to work it out. "

Jealousy is a form of 'excitement' - it may be as simple as that. Some guys are motivated by jealousy - eg they see you dance with someone else and it makes them want to dance with you more. I guess it might just be that taken further.

I'm one of the people who is totally turned off by jealousy, it's the quickest way to repel me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont understand why u would swing if it made u jealous.

People that get jealous are usaly the ppl that would be jealous of everything,

he/she has a bigger tv than me,

Why do they have all the luck?

That should be fucking him/her.

I love to see ppl doing well and always happy for people when they have achived something.

Hence the fact i love to see d have the most amazing time

thats my thoughts any way

I get jealous seeing hubby with others but never feel jealous of other people or things they may have. Im just selfish lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you say jealousy is not the right word to use in this context?

..jealousy isn't really an attractive trait (my opinion). In a swinging context, jealousy may not be in it's true form.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say jealousy is not the right word to use in this context?

..jealousy isn't really an attractive trait (my opinion). In a swinging context, jealousy may not be in it's true form.

I think it is jealousy but sexual desire takes over and turns it into a positive. Something we both experienced early on in our swinging life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say jealousy is not the right word to use in this context?

..jealousy isn't really an attractive trait (my opinion). In a swinging context, jealousy may not be in it's true form.

I think it is jealousy but sexual desire takes over and turns it into a positive. Something we both experienced early on in our swinging life.

This is it for us

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Would you say jealousy is not the right word to use in this context?

..jealousy isn't really an attractive trait (my opinion). In a swinging context, jealousy may not be in it's true form.

I use the term 'jealousy' because that is the word he uses and says he gets aroused when he feels jealous. I am trying to understand the psychology of his arousal.....as compared to the feelings of jealousy which I can understand more easily.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm one of the people who is totally turned off by jealousy, it's the quickest way to repel me!!"

Yes you may have a point there. But personally I hate feeling jealous as it means I am not secure with that person. So I dont allow myself to get into that situation. I have never been in a relationship where I swing as I only play with other single guys. I don't think I could handle watching someone I love with someone else. I appreciate that others are fine with this but emotionally I don't think I could cope. Just a personal thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dont understand why u would swing if it made u jealous.

People that get jealous are usaly the ppl that would be jealous of everything,

he/she has a bigger tv than me,

Why do they have all the luck?

That should be fucking him/her.

I love to see ppl doing well and always happy for people when they have achived something.

Hence the fact i love to see d have the most amazing time

thats my thoughts any way

My point is that the feeling of excitment he gets from feeling jealous turns him on. I am not saying I think jealousy in normal circumstances is a good thing. But it arouses him so my post was merely to try and understand why it turns him on and if this is something others find. I feel that some are just reading the word 'jealousy' in this post and not appreciating the point of my curiosity. Its much the same as asking why humiliation is something some people get turned on by. Noone would suggest humiliating someone is a good thing! But in the context of sexual arousal and fantasy....it clearly does turn some on. So it is the psychology of AROUSAL associated with jealousy which is my question.