FabSwingers.com forum: How to convince my mrs to swing?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all

Is welcome any advice on how I might get my mrs to join me swinging?

She can be quite raunchy at times but whenever I've raised the subject of another woman joining us she does not seem keen?

Should I suggest a bloke or another couple?

I look forward to hearing your advice.

Cheers

Paul

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By *iss SugarWoman
over a year ago

not far from Brighton

If shes not comfortable doing it no amount of convincing is going to work.

My advice would be to talk to her about why she doesnt fancy it rather than trying to push her into it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you want to

Convince your missus to swing ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think she needs to be 'convinced' that's just wrong. Would you really want to make her do something that she doesn't really want to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paul, ... suggest a bloke, preferably a single man, preferably me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

talk to her but don't be too pushy, resentment may settle in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all

Is welcome any advice on how I might get my mrs to join me swinging?

She can be quite raunchy at times but whenever I've raised the subject of another woman joining us she does not seem keen?

Should I suggest a bloke or another couple?

I look forward to hearing your advice.

Cheers

Paul"

let her see your single profile on here see what she says if you dare

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"Hi all

Is welcome any advice on how I might get my mrs to join me swinging?

She can be quite raunchy at times but whenever I've raised the subject of another woman joining us she does not seem keen?

Should I suggest a bloke or another couple?

I look forward to hearing your advice.

Cheers

Paul

let her see your single profile on here see what she says if you dare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you

Going to

Realise mate it's the woman who

Makes the right decisions not the guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what I did:

Give her a book to read ..'Daiary of A Secret Swinger',show her this site and discuss.

If after all that she says its not for her knock it on the head and respect her wishes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow. Some fast responses!

I'm not trying to 'convince' her, that was probably a bad choice of term based on your responses. Is trying to know how I can broach the subject, preferably successfully.

Letting her read the diary of a secret swinger and showing her this site is probably a good idea.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

explore fantasies and see if multiple partner pops up in the discussion.

if yes.... happy days

if no..... let it be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/14 18:09:20]

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By *ea and SugarCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

I'd discuss fantasies and role plays, see if she has any and what's involved, play them out in your minds during sex together, then if it becomes a regular thing raise the possibility of trying it for real perhaps, it's how we got here!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sounds good. Thanks for the advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd discuss fantasies and role plays, see if she has any and what's involved, play them out in your minds during sex together, then if it becomes a regular thing raise the possibility of trying it for real perhaps, it's how we got here!!"

Probably the best method.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why not try her on a nude beach just the two of you , get her used to being naked with others about, also ask her if she has any fantasys and assure her you will help her fulfil them whatever they may be, this may not get her swinging but im sure your sexlife will improve so its all good, talk to her mainly

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"why not try her on a nude beach just the two of you , get her used to being naked with others about, also ask her if she has any fantasys and assure her you will help her fulfil them whatever they may be, this may not get her swinging but im sure your sexlife will improve so its all good, talk to her mainly"

A naked beach sounds a good idea.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"Hi all

Is welcome any advice on how I might get my mrs to join me swinging?

She can be quite raunchy at times but whenever I've raised the subject of another woman joining us she does not seem keen?

Should I suggest a bloke or another couple?

I look forward to hearing your advice.

Cheers

Paul"

She's a real sweetie who loves to play! We've met her a few times and she's great fun. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/14 20:59:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Introduce her to a club and have a play in a room where you can lock the door but people can still hear you and see a silhouette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As well as reading book about swingers why not get one about cheating other halves too she may like both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As well as reading book about swingers why not get one about cheating other halves too she may like both

Ouch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can anyone recomend a book about the narrow minded ill informed judgemental.

I think I have identified someone who could use it!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Can anyone recomend a book about the narrow minded ill informed judgemental.

I think I have identified someone who could use it!

Mein Kampf.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

there is a whole world of difference between a person being raunchy and wanting to swing. Sharing your sex life with other people is just one of many aspects of sex and isn't for everyone...not even all of the raunchiest people will be up for swinging.

If you would like to share this side of your life with your wife then discuss it with her openly, with no pressure and respect her _iews. None of us know her like you do, none of us can give you cast iron advice on how to approach her.

Put yourself in her position, imagine how you'd like her to approach you with something you've already told her you aren't keen on and take it from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can anyone recomend a book about the narrow minded ill informed judgemental.

I think I have identified someone who could use it!

Oh please! Believing that cheating is wrong does not make someone narrow minded or judgemental. That's just a defensive bite back for when there is no pro-cheating argument.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't convince her. Ask her about it or talk about it but if she says no then like on here NO means NO. Just accept that she doesn't want it.

Both have to be comfortable with it. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can anyone recomend a book about the narrow minded ill informed judgemental.

I think I have identified someone who could use it!

Oh please! Believing that cheating is wrong does not make someone narrow minded or judgemental. That's just a defensive bite back for when there is no prgo-cheating argument."

Quite right.

What does make someone ill informed narrowminded and judgenental is to unfer a situation without being in possecion of the full facts.

But hey this is a blog ...par for the cource.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Can anyone recomend a book about the narrow minded ill informed judgemental.

I think I have identified someone who could use it!

Oh please! Believing that cheating is wrong does not make someone narrow minded or judgemental. That's just a defensive bite back for when there is no prgo-cheating argument.

Quite right.

What does make someone ill informed narrowminded and judgenental is to unfer a situation without being in possecion of the full facts.

But hey this is a blog ...par for the cource."

yes it does and I think we should all be careful of inference......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/14 23:01:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/14 23:08:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can anyone recomend a book about the narrow minded ill informed judgemental.

I think I have identified someone who could use it!

Oh please! Believing that cheating is wrong does not make someone narrow minded or judgemental. That's just a defensive bite back for when there is no pro-cheating argument."

very true indeed.

but it does get rather tedious when people just throw the cheating word in without knowing the facts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all

Is welcome any advice on how I might get my mrs to join me swinging?

She can be quite raunchy at times but whenever I've raised the subject of another woman joining us she does not seem keen?

Should I suggest a bloke or another couple?

I look forward to hearing your advice.

Cheers

Paul"

Maybe its the fact that you have only suggested bringing another woman into it

that is the issue if there is an issue. There could be all manner of reasons why she isn't happy with that.

Several people have already suggested that you talk to her, why not ask her what she would like to do to enhance your sex life. You say she is raunchy which suggests she enjoys sex so build on that, not necessarily with swinging but find ways to add fun to what you already have together.

Swinging is not always the answer to enhancing a couple's sex life and for it to work successfully it has to be a mutual decision without one partner feeling pressured.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As well as reading book about swingers why not get one about cheating other halves too she may like both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can anyone recomend a book about the narrow minded ill informed judgemental.

I think I have identified someone who could use it!

Oh please! Believing that cheating is wrong does not make someone narrow minded or judgemental. That's just a defensive bite back for when there is no pro-cheating argument.

very true indeed.

but it does get rather tedious when people just throw the cheating word in without knowing the facts."

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Can anyone recomend a book about the narrow minded ill informed judgemental.

I think I have identified someone who could use it!

Oh please! Believing that cheating is wrong does not make someone narrow minded or judgemental. That's just a defensive bite back for when there is no pro-cheating argument.

very true indeed.

but it does get rather tedious when people just throw the cheating word in without knowing the facts.

Let's be honest, none of us know the facts....we can't. That's why it's impossible to give any but the most basic of advice.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

try going to a club as a couple .. you don't have to play with others ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps she's not into women and if that's all you've suggested then that could be the reason for the no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go on holiday together to the naturist area at Capd'Agde, France (provided your wife is OK with a naturist place) There is swinging just about everywhere and plenty of opportunity to spectate, join in or avoid.

A visit there would certainly put the subject on the agenda without her feeling pressured to do anything she wasn't comfortable with.

With any and every couple one party must broach the subject and this may be a non threatening intro....just a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all

Is welcome any advice on how I might get my mrs to join me swinging?

She can be quite raunchy at times but whenever I've raised the subject of another woman joining us she does not seem keen?

Should I suggest a bloke or another couple?

I look forward to hearing your advice.

Cheers

Paul"

Just tell her you've been cheating (or at least trying) on her for over a year, I'm pretty sure in no time at all she'll be happily shagging other people

....of course you might not be involved any more...

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By *imon and saffyCouple
over a year ago

southampton

As well as the other good ideas you need to consider your motives and choices.

You should choose whether to retain a singles profile here and whatever other sites you visit. Regardless of if you've ever met and played or just chatted etc how would she react? Plus she might check after you talk to her again.

It is dishonest behaviour and she's not likely to be happy about it is she.

Nudist beach or club. Or bite the bullet and tell her you find the idea of watching others or having others interact with you while you have sex a turn on. Just be prepared to accept a no or worse.

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