FabSwingers.com forum: Male bisexuality and hang-ups

By *rucker_Murdock OP Man
over a year ago

Choppington

Ok, I appreciate this may stir up a few opinions but it's just an honest _iew of what I've seen.

I'm curious as to why there seems to be a growing number of people who won't go near a bisexual man. Now fair enough if said bi man rams his sexuality down everyone's throat (no pun intended), he asks for all he gets, but most bi guys act straight unless they know it's ok to act otherwise.

The main thing I don't understand is why couples with a bisexual lady or bisexual ladies won't go near a bisexual man. I've heard the "Oh you don't know what it's been in" but let's be fair here and say how many of said people have anal sex themselves and don't complain to their partners yet assume that said bi guy has had anal sex with others.

I have to say in my experience chatting to numerous bi guys 99% don't do anal sex with other men, it's usually just an oral thing. I may be wrong on the numbers there but it's certainly in the majority.

My _iew is that we've fought for equality in all aspects of life, we've managed to scotch the myth on BDSM, swinging is now an acceptable part of life, the list could go on. But why is there still discrimination against the bisexual man? Everyone wants a bisexual woman though.

Another thing I wonder about is how many "straight" men are actually bisexual but keep it hidden for fear of negative reaction?

Now at some point I know someone is going to think or say about the "dirty old dog" brigade who will stick their manhood in anything. In my experience these people are few and far between. And yes when I've seen them in person at one particular nudist spot you just know by the look that they don't care, no grooming, manners, or decorum. But why should the rest be tarred with the same brush?

Sorry for a long post and I'm not trying to alter anyone's opinions. In the modern age I just find it strange that we still have closetted and sometimes hypocritical_iews in some respects.

Opinions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It saddens me that this is the case on a site like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fully agree with everything you have just said. Honesty is maybe the reason I have had no joy. In for the long haul.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fully agree with everything you have just said. Honesty is maybe the reason I have had no joy. In for the long haul.

But there are many profiles like ours of people who won't meet guys that lie. You should send our block list mainly of "straight guys" ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because they don't want to meet bi men. They just don't want to. Why should they have to defend their wishes???

It's like saying why won't someone meet old men. Because they don't want to!!!!!!

You think they should change their mind just so the old men/ bi men can empty their balls?

Ridiculous.

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By *ayandess1Couple
over a year ago

bridgwater

I think that the type of bi man you refer to - the "ones who will have anyone" and don't care about the consequences won't really be found on a site like this.

Lets face it - if your that type of guy then there are hookup sites for them that require far less effort than this one.

Most (if not all) of the bi sexual men on this site are straight acting and as careful about sex as any women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only look for bi guys and it's amazing how many 'straight' guys message us, we reply, "sorry, only looking for bi men" and they come back with ~i am bi !

Put it on your profile then, be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think because it's a myth that the swinging community is more liberated than society at large.

It's the main reason 95% of Womens profiles say bi and 95% of mens say straight. It must be a pressure to conform to what people think the community wants because those figures are surely an impossibility.

From a straight gal who's more than happy around bi guys (and hubby isn't phased either but he's Dutch and therefore genetically relaxed lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We only look for bi guys and it's amazing how many 'straight' guys message us, we reply, "sorry, only looking for bi men" and they come back with ~i am bi !

Put it on your profile then, be honest

But the guys can't win frill, if they say bi the vast majority of couples won't have anything to do with them because of some silly perception that they'll pounce on the male if the couple..

I would never judge a bi guy for saying he's straight and that's why.

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I'm bi and I'm not fussed if people want to meet me or not. But then I have long ginger hair, so I'm used to being a leper.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

no hang ups here and that is because I accept fully that I will not be the preferred sexual partner of many on here....

and that is really cool.

A lot won't be mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our _iew as well,"We only look for bi guys and it's amazing how many 'straight' guys message us, we reply, "sorry, only looking for bi men" and they come back with ~i am bi !

Put it on your profile then, be honest"

There are to many males and females hiding in the closet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We only look for bi guys and it's amazing how many 'straight' guys message us, we reply, "sorry, only looking for bi men" and they come back with ~i am bi !

Put it on your profile then, be honest

aarrgghh I have a rant thread on the subject....

i only meet bi guys

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By *rucker_Murdock OP Man
over a year ago

Choppington

Thank you for the positive feedback everyone and let's hope the honesty we;ve seen today generates a little more openness. And many thanks to the couples who've contributed. I'm sure there's many a bi guy reading who's faith has been restored

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I phil are straight and helen is bi. We have played with couples where the guy is bi and where the guy is "straight" I have to say never once have I been touched by the bi guys, they know and respect im not bi. However I have been touched by a " straight" guy who said it was an accident, yeah hoe can a guy accidentally cup my balls I don't know

we say each to their own, so long as our limits are respected we will play with anyone.

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I will never meet a couple with a straight guy, seems such a waste of my "skillset"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before I became single I did used to have a profile as a couple, my man was 100% straight, and we found the Bi guys we met to be very respectful of his/our wishes the "straight" guys however not so much!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We only look for bi guys and it's amazing how many 'straight' guys message us, we reply, "sorry, only looking for bi men" and they come back with ~i am bi !

Put it on your profile then, be honest

But the guys can't win frill, if they say bi the vast majority of couples won't have anything to do with them because of some silly perception that they'll pounce on the male if the couple..

I would never judge a bi guy for saying he's straight and that's why.

I can understand that but I just feel it all needs to be honest, up front, from the start, when people start contradicting their profile when you pull them on something, it makes me wonder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no hang ups here and that is because I accept fully that I will not be the preferred sexual partner of many on here....

and that is really cool.

A lot won't be mine.

And that's how it should be, the same as we aren't to everyones taste either, we don't complain about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We only look for bi guys and it's amazing how many 'straight' guys message us, we reply, "sorry, only looking for bi men" and they come back with ~i am bi !

Put it on your profile then, be honest

But the guys can't win frill, if they say bi the vast majority of couples won't have anything to do with them because of some silly perception that they'll pounce on the male if the couple..

I would never judge a bi guy for saying he's straight and that's why.

I can understand that but I just feel it all needs to be honest, up front, from the start, when people start contradicting their profile when you pull them on something, it makes me wonder.

I know what you mean and you're actively looking for bi guys but I see it thus:

The bi male is judged quite harshly by the community because it's mysoginistic, female bisexuality is clearly encouraged massively, male totally the opposite. Therefore either:

The man can be honest and be judged and rejected by the majority.

The man can reveal his leanings in a one on one basis ( as we do our face pics generally) and be judged by the very people he's interested in most.

I simply don't think this is just about honesty.

I say _iew every man on his individual merits and try to think beyond your prejudices.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We only look for bi guys and it's amazing how many 'straight' guys message us, we reply, "sorry, only looking for bi men" and they come back with ~i am bi !

Put it on your profile then, be honest

But the guys can't win frill, if they say bi the vast majority of couples won't have anything to do with them because of some silly perception that they'll pounce on the male if the couple..

I would never judge a bi guy for saying he's straight and that's why.

I can understand that but I just feel it all needs to be honest, up front, from the start, when people start contradicting their profile when you pull them on something, it makes me wonder.

I know what you mean and you're actively looking for bi guys but I see it thus:

The bi male is judged quite harshly by the community because it's mysoginistic, female bisexuality is clearly encouraged massively, male totally the opposite. Therefore either:

The man can be honest and be judged and rejected by the majority.

The man can reveal his leanings in a one on one basis ( as we do our face pics generally) and be judged by the very people he's interested in most.

I simply don't think this is just about honesty.

I say _iew every man on his individual merits and try to think beyond your prejudices.

Very good point ( isn't it nice to have a proper debate on here

)

Wouldn't call it a prejudice but playing as we do, we need honesty and Trust.

We wouldn't immediately discount a guy that says straight on profile but then says he's not when we message, but it always puts a seed of doubt there, which isn't good

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Having recently placed a meet for next week looking for a Bi guy I was genuinely shocked at how many guys claiming to be straight responded.

In some cases I had spoken to a couple of these guys who told me at great lengths that they were straight. I have no preferences on my profile as to Bi or straight so why would they lie

Who everyone meets on fab is their own choice, every one is entitled to their own choice. If someone doesn't want to meet a Bi guy then find someone else.

On the flip side believe it or not I have arranged meets with my FB (who is openly Bi) for a Bi guy and been let down because they have chickened out..seems not every Bi guy is Bi after all...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We only look for bi guys and it's amazing how many 'straight' guys message us, we reply, "sorry, only looking for bi men" and they come back with ~i am bi !

Put it on your profile then, be honest

But the guys can't win frill, if they say bi the vast majority of couples won't have anything to do with them because of some silly perception that they'll pounce on the male if the couple..

I would never judge a bi guy for saying he's straight and that's why.

I can understand that but I just feel it all needs to be honest, up front, from the start, when people start contradicting their profile when you pull them on something, it makes me wonder.

I know what you mean and you're actively looking for bi guys but I see it thus:

The bi male is judged quite harshly by the community because it's mysoginistic, female bisexuality is clearly encouraged massively, male totally the opposite. Therefore either:

The man can be honest and be judged and rejected by the majority.

The man can reveal his leanings in a one on one basis ( as we do our face pics generally) and be judged by the very people he's interested in most.

I simply don't think this is just about honesty.

I say _iew every man on his individual merits and try to think beyond your prejudices.

Very good point ( isn't it nice to have a proper debate on here

)

Wouldn't call it a prejudice but playing as we do, we need honesty and Trust.

We wouldn't immediately discount a guy that says straight on profile but then says he's not when we message, but it always puts a seed of doubt there, which isn't good"

No agreed prejudice is a strong word, but a judgement value is made according to how the bi guy approaches it. And it's a shame that it could prevent some great bi guys from being enjoyed by you and im sure enjoying you!

Honesty and trust is big for us too, but it's the same for the guy if he's a genuine sort.

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

There are lots of reasons...

1) it's a preference.

2) the fear that a guy may be interested in the "straight" male.

3) the woman doesn't want to even imagine the stallion fucking her with a cock in his gob. Wants to feel like fucking her is enough.

4) in my experience men, if given the chance, will take more risks than a woman. You'd be surprised how many men will try their luck at not using condoms.

5) rightly or wrongly this gives the feeling they are a greater sexual risk. I.e. Put the same risk taking demographic together will more likely lead to greater risk taking.

Now I'm not saying all the above are right /true and apply to everyone, but this is a lifestyle choice where people chose based on their preference and feelings.

People in this scene measure the level of risk they want to take, and some will see bi sexual men as too high a risk.

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By *ayandess1Couple
over a year ago

bridgwater

We have met a couple of couples where the man is straight. It causes a few problems during socials.

Me - so what do you like?

Him - football, drinking lager, Xbox and fucking. What about you?

Me - erm, I like reading, talking to people, cooking, and reality TV.

Him - did you see the rugby on Sunday?

Me - er...no. But I did see a nice christening.

Him - (looking forlorn) Top gear! Everyone loves that! Do you watch it? What did you think this week?

Me - erm ... is that the one with richard Hammond in it? My father in law said it was good.

Him - turns to his beer and goes quiet.

Me - turns to his wife (brightening I say) Did you watch 24hours in A&E?

My wife and his wife - Yes! Dis you see the bit when the old man was crying?

This is my curse - I'm love women so much that talking about other property, reality TV and gossip has removed me from all "real men's" conversations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have encountered alledged bi guys who don't go through with it but I ask myself why rather than judge.

Is it because many are curious but are afraid to go the extra mile? We are who we are. If you're straight, bi, or gay then that is you as a person. Why deny it? The only person you deny it to is yourself and then you lose out on the real you in life.

I have numerous nudist friends, my best mate is gay, I can hang out with them naked at the beach and chill out no problem. They all have the same _iew as me, look but don't touch unless given the green light. I think that applies to women too, I know a lot of bi women who share the same _iew.

Again, thanks for the input everyone

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By *otTheReal01Man
over a year ago

London

My thinking on the "straight" guys is that I realise they do it to not be excluded by the majority who, for whatever reason, won't meet bi guys but if they've got one lie on their profile, what else are they lying about?

(not that they have the market cornered on lying on profiles, but you get my point)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My thinking on the "straight" guys is that I realise they do it to not be excluded by the majority who, for whatever reason, won't meet bi guys but if they've got one lie on their profile, what else are they lying about?

(not that they have the market cornered on lying on profiles, but you get my point)"

Well im not advocating lying but if almost all women are bi on here and all men straight (which is predictably what the majority of profiles say) then I think most everyone is lying because that's a genetic impossibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw in an article in the paper the other day that Bi sexuality is programed in us genetically. well you can take positives and negatives from that I guess.

It means that a certain percentage of the population are going to say. mmmmm yes please. I want some of that, now where are all the Bi males and females

Another percentage are going to say, oh well each to their own eh and quietly filter out what they don't like or not make a fuss about it.

Another bunch of vociferous Homophobes are going to seize power and then start inflicting their _iews on the moderate majority. I wonder where I'm talking about. I know I know that was a bit of a dig at Mr Putin and co.

Thankfully we live in a country where you can dabble a bit if it takes your fancy but I am one of those people that would say live and let live.

No one knows for sure what goes on between people and their closed doors, so just quietly get on with what you like in this country and generally people will leave you alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because there is the sterotype that bi guys dont practice safe sex and at a higher risk of sti's because of it. It may well be true, I dont know. But that is the main reason why people sometimes dont want to meet bi men.

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By *illyrocCouple
over a year ago

north west

"Because they don't want to meet bi men. They just don't want to. Why should they have to defend their wishes???

It's like saying why won't someone meet old men. Because they don't want to!!!!!!

You think they should change their mind just so the old men/ bi men can empty their balls?

Ridiculous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a bi guy and very comfortable with myself. I get bombarded with mail from so called straight guys who claim to be up for it. I've always been selective on who I meet and have met some very nice people. I feel being bi is not just about anal...I feel it's a more sensual experience and having no hang ups on sexual orientation.

As for the question in hand...We we are all free make are own choices and respect others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's personal choice we don't care either way If a man is bi or not or cares to admit it or not. As for men lying about sexuality to get meets it's no different to people lying about their age or how big their cock is or even selectively displaying verifications. it's all done to increase the chances of getting a meet and not alienating ones self from potential meets. The rights and wrongs of such actions is another matter but it does happen !

When visiting the gum clinic your asked "do you have sex with other men " ? if you answer yes your classed as a higher risk and offered free hep B jabs if you answer no your a lower risk and have to pay for jabs. maybe this has a bearing on some people thinking ?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

People shouldn't have to justify their choices. We can't appeal to everyone. It's a kind of arrogance, almost like how dare you not meet me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it's personal choice we don't care either way If a man is bi or not or cares to admit it or not. As for men lying about sexuality to get meets it's no different to people lying about their age or how big their cock is or even selectively displaying verifications. it's all done to increase the chances of getting a meet and not alienating ones self from potential meets. The rights and wrongs of such actions is another matter but it does happen !

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