FabSwingers.com forum: Single guys in clubs

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What should single guys do when they go to clubs?

When we go (mf couple) we wander around, watch people for a bit, chat, wander a bit more, ask people if they might like to join us.

Yet when single guys do that, they get slated.

So what exactly should single guys be doing? Sitting silently by the bar with their hands in constant _iew, not chatting or making eye contact? And certainly not watching people having sex... ?

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

"What should single guys do when they go to clubs?

When we go (mf couple) we wander around, watch people for a bit, chat, wander a bit more, ask people if they might like to join us.

Yet when single guys do that, they get slated.

So what exactly should single guys be doing? Sitting silently by the bar with their hands in constant _iew, not chatting or making eye contact? And certainly not watching people having sex... ?"

Good point!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

just be themselves...... the ones who will reap the rewards are the ones who most deserve it.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"So what exactly should single guys be doing? Sitting silently by the bar with their hands in constant _iew, not chatting or making eye contact? And certainly not watching people having sex... ?"

Asking me to join them for a mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmf in the orgy room.

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

Those i play with do wander round and have a perv but they also chat to people & not just 'what you into/fancy finding a room' but then im picky..... Apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we find that the best way to get talking is standing at the bar enjoying a drink and joining in the conversation

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"just be themselves...... the ones who will reap the rewards are the ones who most deserve it.

Wise words......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I do go to a club on my own because I am quite shy and I don't follow couples around the club I seem to do ok.Dont get me wrong I do chat but I never ask I always wait to be invited.Best to just go expect nothing and if you do get to play great,if not its not the end of the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I at least deserve to give myself a wank if theres open play action going on...I'd just be careful not to get any spunk on anyone(unless wanted)

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By *roggMan
over a year ago

haverfordwest

try socialize, chat with people and wander around the club having some respect for others wishes and should any opportunities arise join in the fun if required without intruding

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By *allen MadonnaWoman
over a year ago

In my own little world

Not sure what's sadder, a bunch of single guys unlikely to get a shag, or a single fem in a swingers club who can't get a hello, let alone any action. I go to clubs on my own, which doesn't seem to do me any favours.

I've been circled like sharks in the pool like a bit of meat, yet no eye contact yet they try to touch me up and wonder why they get a slap.

Just shows they think they've paid their money and that they expect a fuck. such a shame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just dont be a wolf hunting in a pack mix mingle chat etc x

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"What should single guys do when they go to clubs?

When we go (mf couple) we wander around, watch people for a bit, chat, wander a bit more, ask people if they might like to join us.

Yet when single guys do that, they get slated.

So what exactly should single guys be doing? Sitting silently by the bar with their hands in constant _iew, not chatting or making eye contact? And certainly not watching people having sex... ?"

when have single guys ever been slated for chatting to people....

i think there is a huge difference between chatting to people and seeing how it goes...... and wandering around like a silent ninja, wearing a groove in the carpets patrolling all the play areas....

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By *allen MadonnaWoman
over a year ago

In my own little world

so well said Fabio!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy in a club I always chat to people whether it be couples single gems or other single guys once a conversation is started its easy to carry it on plus it puts everyone at ease ...look at a club as a pub with lingerie ....always worked for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thinking wearing a Ninja mask may me considered a bit to kinky ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those i play with do wander round and have a perv but they also chat to people & not just 'what you into/fancy finding a room' but then im picky..... Apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been an 2 nervous about goin on me own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I do go to a club on my own because I am quite shy and I don't follow couples around the club I seem to do ok.Dont get me wrong I do chat but I never ask I always wait to be invited.Best to just go expect nothing and if you do get to play great,if not its not the end of the world."

This

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By *ingjayMan
over a year ago

exeter

"just be themselves...... the ones who will reap the rewards are the ones who most deserve it.

Wise words......"

Or the ones that are super good looking and don't need to talk........ I always go as a couple with a friend and tend to arrange to meet couples beforehand, it's always hardw to judge exactly what the atmosphere/ turnout is gonna be, is never risk going as a single guy, as has been covered in many threads it's expensive for single guys, and from what I have seen can be frustrating when no couple wants to play.

Every always says it's about effort and what you put in, but it's down to attraction, if ur a reet ugly bastard don't take the advice that's always given on Here to go to socials and clubs to meet people cause you'll fail there too !! Be honest if ur ugly don't bother!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"just be themselves...... the ones who will reap the rewards are the ones who most deserve it.

Wise words......

Aww

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By *onkatimMan
over a year ago

bristol

as a single guy who goes to clubs, I find making eye contact is a good start with a nice smile (not a pervy one), then saying hello and offering a hand to shake and saying my name is.... is a friendly and nice way to start

or am I wrong in this

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By *allen MadonnaWoman
over a year ago

In my own little world

I'd rather have a hand shake than a guy going in straight for the kill and inserting a couple of fingers in me! FFS! Manners.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"just be themselves...... the ones who will reap the rewards are the ones who most deserve it.

This!!!

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By *spot50Man
over a year ago

rochester

As a single guy I'm put of going by having the stigma attached that all single guys are desperate pervs, so not sire I will bother

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

"As a single guy I'm put of going by having the stigma attached that all single guys are desperate pervs, so not sire I will bother"

Sorry but no ones going to miss you with that attitude.

Personally If I thought that was the case I'd get straight to a club and NOT be a "desperate perve" and then, as said earlier, reap the rewards... But hey ho your choice.

There are always going to be good and bad people in clubs, be yourself and if your not one of the bad ones you'll be fine.

As to the op - I agree, I often stick up for single guys as they get slated a lot, and personally think some have got so scared to approach in clubs it's getting frustrating! But I don't blame them...

Just be yourselves and nothing else... Not much else you can do - you're not going to please everyone.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

if you are a social person in general.. and can socialing is a group situation, then you will be fine in a club...

if you struggle to socialise in "la real world" you are going to stuggle in a club.....

I am a massage believer in that a single "hello" goes a long long way..... and actually most conversations in clubs dont revolve around sex...

so rather than just saying "oh but i am different from all these other guys!" go out and actually prove it......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"if you are a social person in general.. and can socialing is a group situation, then you will be fine in a club...

if you struggle to socialise in "la real world" you are going to stuggle in a club.....

I am a massage believer in that a single "hello" goes a long long way..... and actually most conversations in clubs dont revolve around sex...

so rather than just saying "oh but i am different from all these other guys!" go out and actually prove it......

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it helps if people do move about, and not get fixed in one particular spot. There may be others who'd like to be in that vicinity, to chat to people they know etc, but feel displaced and won't want to intrude on someone's space.

It also can help keep you aware of who's around, if you're moving, and may inspire some action, or at least give some voyeuristic pleasure.

By far the best places to end any isolation are the social areas, like the bar. Even if you smile, as you stand near to people waiting to be served etc, it can serve as an introduction, to then move onto chatting. Things can be as social as if you're standing next to someone in a shop queue, and non-sexual.

Wait for and read the prompts that others give you - if they're interested, would prefer a little break/some space and often less is more. Anyone who has outstayed their welcome is unlikely to be given many more, or any, chances. If you keep things brief, without outstaying your welcome, then you can pick up the chat later on.

Moving around also gets people to be more familiar with you. It gets you more comfortable in the surroundings, so you know where everything is - many hosts will escort you and show you stuff, but taking things are your own pace is helpful too, if your first time.

Make eye contact with others, including people you don't fancy. Know when brief eye contact is enough, and hasn't become a stare. Smiles melt hearts and blocks that others may have. Anyone you ever chat to at a club may be someone that knows your route to perfect sex - a friend of someone else, or someone that encourages you to join in a group session etc.

Never make rules to yourself that you must get a shag - it may make you feel desperate, and others may pick up on this too. Aim to spend less time there than you could, as you'll feel brighter, or less jaded, than you may have otherwise. If all's great, keep it going, but know when enough is enough.

If there are spa like facilities, use them for your personal benefit, other than just for trying to pull. A shower can help invigorate you, even if you don't use jacuzzi etc.

Remember, single guys are as welcome as everyone else, and there will be people who would welcome the chance to get to know. You just may not encounter them on any one particular meet.

I look at life as an adventure. There's always something to appreciate, enjoy etc. We don't have to rely on others to keep us satisfied. Stay flexible, if one approach doesn't work, try another. If you feel stressed when talking to someone, slow down and ensure that your breathing is deep and slow. You'll retain your strength of mind and body.

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