FabSwingers.com forum: Cheating on partners

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some of the singles on here admit that they are cheating on their partners.

Now we believe that that is their choice and have no opinion about the morality of that.

However from reading profiles and threads in the forum it would appear that there are lots of people who would not meet anyone who is married and playing away.

So what we are asking is why do such singles use fab in light of the fact that there are specific sites that cater for cheating spouses on the web, don't want to name the one we are thinking of. Surely they would have better odds on such a site.

Discuss... (feel like a school teacher!!!)

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

loads of people will meet married men ...they just want sex without the dramas !

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

Some people may prefer to meet married people in the (often mistaken) belief that there will be no emotional attachments formed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah we know what you are saying but there are plenty of singles complaining about the problems that they are having meeting people because of those that will not meet married/attached people.

In this instance, we think they may be better off using a site aimed specifically at them

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By *rcticstarWoman
over a year ago

Corsham

I won't meet people who are cheating because

A, I know how painful it is to be cheated on and

B, that's not what swinging is.

If they're in a relationship, I talk the other person first to make sure it's ok first.

If they're in the situation where there's no sex then I tell them to either talk about it or leave. I loved my late partner very much and even though we didn't have sex for 5 years I never once considered cheating or even asking if I could go shag someone x

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

some people may meet married people in the actual reality that there is no bond either

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"Yeah we know what you are saying but there are plenty of singles complaining about the problems that they are having meeting people because of those that will not meet married/attached people.

In this instance, we think they may be better off using a site aimed specifically at them"

I think the main reason people don't want to use those sites is the money, they're expensive. And they are full of fake profiles. Real fake profiles, not the ones on here that just don't want to meet, ones that are cam girls wanting men to pay up to see a pair of boobs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

99% of fab ie the single profiles are in a relationship or married out side of fab

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By *rcticstarWoman
over a year ago

Corsham

I have a single profile and I'm single. Yes. I have a fb who I met on here but we are both single x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's one of the reasons we're reluctant to meet single guys as there is just no way of knowing for sure if they are in fact single. Not worth the drama (for us anyway)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm single, no one will have me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it cheating if the spouse knows lol.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's only the ones who start threads complaining that no one will meet them who get the stick. There are loads of married people on here who stay under the radar, go quietly about their business without fuss or feeling of entitlement and are very successful that's one reason they don't use those sites. Another is that a concerned spouse is going to look on a site specifically designed for marrieds first.

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By *exiSlutBabeWoman
over a year ago

Stoke

That is true, I have dislike those that go on about "well at least I am honest" be honest with your partner not strangers.

I hate those that try to justify it with tales of sexless marriage etc, live with it, relationships are not about sex alone, there is NO justification, if your going to do it do it quietly and let people know you are doing it so they can make their own mind up about playing with you.

I will not play with someone cheating if I know they are and things like cant accommodate without a valid reason stated in the profile and other such things help me eliminate most of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's one of the reasons we're reluctant to meet single guys as there is just no way of knowing for sure if they are in fact single. Not worth the drama (for us anyway)"

i'm fully with you on that one i've had my fingers burnt before by a married lady ( i was unaware she was married) but there are loads of dead give aways that i've learnt, you guys are a couple too so it'll be much easier for you to set terms that only a real single chap could meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't knowingly play with cheating partners it's not what swinging is about for us, plus we don't want to get caught up in someone else's relationship breakdown

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Meeting married men doesnt bother me....

Meeting a couple where the man/woman is married to someone else.....No...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"loads of people will meet married men ...they just want sex without the dramas !"

Might be a lot of drama if the wife find out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"99% of fab ie the single profiles are in a relationship or married out side of fab

69.35% of statistics are made up on the spot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not faithful. But I am always honset about having a partner. I would hate to hide that from any meet just to get my leg over. But sadly most guys aint like that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's only the ones who start threads complaining that no one will meet them who get the stick. There are loads of married people on here who stay under the radar, go quietly about their business without fuss or feeling of entitlement and are very successful that's one reason they don't use those sites. Another is that a concerned spouse is going to look on a site specifically designed for marrieds first."

Never thought about suspicious partners scouring the sites aimed specifically at people who want to cheat on their partner.

That's a great point, maybe answers our question x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some men meet married women. I have met married men but would prefer not to as I don't believe fitting round two marriages can work too well. Like has been said no bond but I have had a bond with a guy before, would like that again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's one of the reasons we're reluctant to meet single guys as there is just no way of knowing for sure if they are in fact single. Not worth the drama (for us anyway)"

I ran a forum post about how many people had actually had the drama of the wronged party turn up at their door. No one had.

Attached people are probably only more unreliable as they have to cancel at the last moment. Personal preference is however paramount.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get all sorts of mail and some from women and men saying they get off on Cheating its part of the trill to them . See people get a sex high from that, so will keep cheating they like doing it , well some do. And some here on fab say will only meet married people ... seen it. so its up to people to make the choice .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am not faithful. But I am always honset about having a partner. I would hate to hide that from any meet just to get my leg over. But sadly most guys aint like that. "

What is sad is that you probably think you are being honest but you admit to being unfaithful, you are lying to the one person on earth you are supposed to be in love with.

How is that honest? You may as well lie to everyone. You don't want to lie to a prospective meet, yet you lie to your partner.

Your priorities seem a little mixed up to us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not faithful. But I am always honset about having a partner. I would hate to hide that from any meet just to get my leg over. But sadly most guys aint like that.

What is sad is that you probably think you are being honest but you admit to being unfaithful, you are lying to the one person on earth you are supposed to be in love with.

How is that honest? You may as well lie to everyone. You don't want to lie to a prospective meet, yet you lie to your partner.

Your priorities seem a little mixed up to us."

That is a vaild point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I get all sorts of mail and some from women and men saying they get off on Cheating its part of the trill to them . See people get a sex high from that, so will keep cheating they like doing it , well some do. And some here on fab say will only meet married people ... seen it. so its up to people to make the choice ."

You are right about it being all about choice, we are just mentioning the fact that some singles moan about people who won't meet married or attached people. Wouldn't they be better off on a site that caters specifically for extramarital affairs rather than complaining about the lack of fun they are having on a swinging site. There are quite a few sites out there.

But if anyone chooses to see a married or attached person then that too is up to them. I bet we have because we never ask to be fair.

This thread is just about those that moan about cheating affecting their chances of a meet

, just trying to say there are alternatives if they want it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there has to be trust between both partners to be swingers, we will both meet alone but only after all concerned have met and never behind the others back

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I find it interesting how many people bend what they actually mean as honest to suit their situation.

Honest has a clear definition to me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both like married people, as long as they are not starting they want to get a divorce.

I jason always introduce the married woman to Paula so they both know , Paula just does her own thing , and changes daily sometimes every 3 seconds like all womens minds

In fact we both have married single friends that are here,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as Fab is free, or paid for in a way that leaves no audit trail, it will always attract those who 'play away'.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

As we only play at club now, it's hard to tell who is single,we have played with two married guys before one non swinger who,so wife just wasn't interested in sex and another while his swinger wife was away, at the club tho its different you don't sit them down and give them the third degree,if they get refused they will just go and find fun anywhere else,my wife will tell a guy she is married or if we are not playing together she will give me a wink and lead a guy off,I always ask the m or f at club if they are up for solo or group fun,I have turned cheating wife's down, women can be just as bad as husbands,but in our relationship we are honest as we swing together mostly,if we want the odd bit of fun alone we. Will let each other know,just before or after,we will then chat and have great sex after,but not all couples can be like that,and it's only with people we know,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm single, no one will have me."

I would if you weren't so far away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a recently single guy who won't meet a married or attached woman because of the fact that I had it done to me. She wanted the thrill but all she did was destroy our relationship. Each to their own and in not going to play the judgement card but I just won't do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is not difficult - always ask to speak to the spouse. That is what we do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have tried those other sites, they were a dead loss.

Not as many people on them as fab swingers, most men only want slim or very young women and they dont aprove of the sort of people who are on fab swingers.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I don't like when they are not honest I don't mind married men

did cause a divorce once but that was his fault and he admitted he wanted out of it and used me

have had one who couldn't do it when he got here as he felt too guilty so I told him to go back and talk to her not me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the op highlights a few good points .

Why go on here when there are more suitable sites ?

Well perhaps because they think it is less likely that there will be any ramifications on here ?

Swingers are far less likely to be judgemental , and emotional attachment is less likely too .

We wouldn't knowingly play with attached people , but since we exclusively play in clubs , it has probably happened many times .

When we played at home , we did play with a couple of married guys ( as we later found out ) and as soon as we knew we didn't stay in touch with them . We really don't want to be part of that to be honest .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the op highlights a few good points .

Why go on here when there are more suitable sites ? I know why because its free and can cost only 5 pounds most other sites you will pay a lot more. And theres 1000s on here that's why . For a lot its just fast lane sex as really don't care as long as they get sex. Loads of people meet singles .. and don't wish to know about there life nothing .. why lot love meeting at clubs, Loads of the single men could be married people play with you. Only if they say or have a ring you know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We are not saying that it is right or wrong to play with a married or attached guy. We are not saying it's wrong for such people to want to play away, each to their own.

We have probably met married singles as we have already stated as we do not ask anyone about their private life as such before deciding if we want to play.

We are just saying that for those singles who moan about couples who do express a preference not to meet them, that there are possible alternatives.

It's just the whinging and whining on here. And it's not confined to just this, you get it from all angles, they won't meet me cos I am bi/too old/too young/ no Asians/ no black/ only black etc.

If you do not meet the criteria of whoever you have looked at and have been told 'No thanks', then just move on. Stop crying, pick yourself up and start a fresh search.

We do agree with the Gloswingers and Game4it, singles play in clubs and it would be hard to know if they are attached or not. So you are right, as a couple you are hardly going to grill someone about their private life. So you have highlighted a possible alternative for married singles.... Go to a club, stop moaning.

Shit I think we are moaning now.... what hypocrites we are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm single, no one will have me."

LIES!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not faithful. But I am always honset about having a partner. I would hate to hide that from any meet just to get my leg over. But sadly most guys aint like that.

What is sad is that you probably think you are being honest but you admit to being unfaithful, you are lying to the one person on earth you are supposed to be in love with.

How is that honest? You may as well lie to everyone. You don't want to lie to a prospective meet, yet you lie to your partner.

Your priorities seem a little mixed up to us."

he didn't say he's a totally honest person. He said he's honest to people on here. It gives people who don't want to meet married men the option of saying no. Which I think is the right thing to do on here. What is happening in his home life is his own business not ours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see alot of profiles where the female is bi and they clearly state 'no married men' , but what if there was a married woman wanting to play with that couple? would same rules apply?

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

I have never worn a wedding ring in 24 yes of marriage I I can honestly say I have never been asked by couples or women,during fun I may often say oh my wife would like this,or wish she could be here,on another meet I asked a few if she would like some fun with me and wife together,she declined,lol,men and woman are both capable of cheating,I would be more worried about people forcing their partners into swinging

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

The whole point of swinging is that its consensual, you and your partner know , thats why we would never knowingly play with a married man or woman , id hate to think I was the other woman in a divorce, as I know what it feels like to be betrayed like that.maybe if he had the balls and honesty to talk to his wife he might find that she is up for swinging as much as he is, or is that the problem he cant cope with the idea of her enjoying someone else ?????

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

[Removed by poster at 11/02/14 13:01:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have never worn a wedding ring in 24 yes of marriage I I can honestly say I have never been asked by couples or women,during fun I may often say oh my wife would like this,or wish she could be here,on another meet I asked a few if she would like some fun with me and wife together,she declined,lol,men and woman are both capable of cheating,I would be more worried about people forcing their partners into swinging"

where the man wants to see his newly bi wife with another woman. Puts me off of searching for couples on here

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By *exiSlutBabeWoman
over a year ago

Stoke

"I see alot of profiles where the female is bi and they clearly state 'no married men' , but what if there was a married woman wanting to play with that couple? would same rules apply?"

Absolutely, I don't knowingly play with people in relationships without the consent of their partners, end of, it doesn't matter if they are male or female or how cute they are, that is just my own personal preference and though I cannot always know I do my best to find out.

Everyone must make their own decision on the subject but a lot of the objective of this thread seems to be about the lying about it or the "I admit it therefore I am honest" aspect.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Totally agree, was glad when I asked wife, sure she was nervous to start, but now we can act out our fantasy,,she enjoys a bit of female. Fun every now and again and we get to do a lot of mmf,I occasionally have fun with other fems,but we seem to get carried away mmf or mmmf is our favorite that's why we prefer club meets,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see alot of profiles where the female is bi and they clearly state 'no married men' , but what if there was a married woman wanting to play with that couple? would same rules apply?"

I don't know, but it is the couples preference so it is up to them who they want to play with, surely.

If it only states 'no married men' then it does imply that they are open to meeting married woman. But that may be incorrect, our advice is ask them

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Why? That's the point of swinging, lol, so both partners can experience something different,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am not faithful. But I am always honset about having a partner. I would hate to hide that from any meet just to get my leg over. But sadly most guys aint like that.

What is sad is that you probably think you are being honest but you admit to being unfaithful, you are lying to the one person on earth you are supposed to be in love with.

How is that honest? You may as well lie to everyone. You don't want to lie to a prospective meet, yet you lie to your partner.

Your priorities seem a little mixed up to us.

We agree, everyone has the right to privacy in their home life. Nobody should be expected to divulge things they want to keep private and rightly so.

However, when you say that someone who admits they are cheating on here is, in someway, honest, then we have to disagree.

Honesty goes hand in hand with trust. Therefore if someone on here cheats they have betrayed that trust, not just to a stranger, which in effect all casual meets on here are, but to the, supposedly, most significant other in their lives. If they can lie to them, then surely they can lie to you or anyone else, with more ease and less guilt, probably.

So to cut a long story short, how can anyone truly trust someone on here, who openly admits they are cheating on their supposed love one? How do you know that they are telling you the truth about anything?

Now we know you can say that the first meet for anyone on here needs trust, you have to take people at face value and all that, but that needs to be built up. How long this takes depends on the people playing, for some it's an instant gut reaction, whilst others require a long wooing to take place.

But, for all those meeting people who admit they are cheating means that you know you cannot truly trust this person from the outset.

This brings risks of their own.

As we have mentioned, we may have played with married people who are cheating but cannot say for sure.

The paradox is that whilst we may have played with cheats, we have not know they were but think it may be hard for us to meet someone we knew for definite was a liar.

What else could they be hiding?

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"That is true, I have dislike those that go on about "well at least I am honest" be honest with your partner not strangers.

I will not play with someone cheating if I know they are and things like cant accommodate without a valid reason stated in the profile and other such things help me eliminate most of them. "

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By *hameleons69Woman
over a year ago

good ship lollipop

[Removed by poster at 11/02/14 13:52:45]

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By *hameleons69Woman
over a year ago

good ship lollipop

This is a double edged reply.... Don't understand cheating, what's the point of the partnership? Here's the flip side.... If we go to a GB meet or randomly play in a club we really don't want to know your history / background if your there and cheating that's your decision

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, it comes down to "is there a defined moral absolute, or do you believe in moral relativism?" - FIGHT!!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

But, for all those meeting people who admit they are cheating means that you know you cannot truly trust this person from the outset.

This brings risks of their own.?"

I think only naive people would think only married people might lie to strangers on the internet.

Maybe change the sentence a bit to.......for all those meeting with people who admit to being single, can you really trust them or are they saying what you want to hear to get what they want.

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By *uy4couplesMan
over a year ago

south kent

im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

Same goes for married women not getting sex at home

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

I get plenty at home, we just use swinging to spice it up a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All sorts on here marrieds singles old young fat thin but I would bet the biggest group is the dishonest ones its life nothnig you can do just meet in caution.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

they bring revenue and that is what counts at the end of the day to any business.

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By *uy4couplesMan
over a year ago

south kent

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

Same goes for married women not getting sex at home "

i totally agree, fancy a meet, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So is it called when a married 'single, is playing with the other half of a swinging couple with out the others knowledge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

I think a lot of people try to justify they are cheating by blaming partner because lack of sex, if there was no sex in our relationship we would try to find out the reason for this and not look else where.

I think that for a lot of married people playing away from home it's the thrill of meeting others and thinking they won't get found out.

We wouldn't knowingly meet married people who's partners don't know they are on here but we know that at parties clubs, we will have x

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Some of the singles on here admit that they are cheating on their partners.

Now we believe that that is their choice and have no opinion about the morality of that.

However from reading profiles and threads in the forum it would appear that there are lots of people who would not meet anyone who is married and playing away.

Discuss... (feel like a school teacher!!!)"

because they tend to cost money... lots of money...

because it is too close to home,

because of a million reasons.... and justifications

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

I think that for a lot of married people playing away from home it's the thrill of meeting others and thinking they won't get found out.

We wouldn't knowingly meet married people who's partners don't know they are on here but we know that at parties clubs, we will have x"
So what doer a person do who has made many attempts over the last 10yrs or more to address the issue with a spouse, and for them to reject all attempts and they see nothing wrong with the way things are? Divorce? Not always a possibility.

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

"I am not faithful. But I am always honset about having a partner. I would hate to hide that from any meet just to get my leg over. But sadly most guys aint like that.

What is sad is that you probably think you are being honest but you admit to being unfaithful, you are lying to the one person on earth you are supposed to be in love with.

How is that honest? You may as well lie to everyone. You don't want to lie to a prospective meet, yet you lie to your partner.

Your priorities seem a little mixed up to us.

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

I think that for a lot of married people playing away from home it's the thrill of meeting others and thinking they won't get found out.

We wouldn't knowingly meet married people who's partners don't know they are on here but we know that at parties clubs, we will have x So what doer a person do who has made many attempts over the last 10yrs or more to address the issue with a spouse, and for them to reject all attempts and they see nothing wrong with the way things are? Divorce? Not always a possibility."

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"It's one of the reasons we're reluctant to meet single guys as there is just no way of knowing for sure if they are in fact single. Not worth the drama (for us anyway)

I ran a forum post about how many people had actually had the drama of the wronged party turn up at their door. No one had.

actually not quite true..

one or two did, but as per normal that was ignored because it didn't fit the agenda...

but the thing that did come out was that people had been harrassed in other ways... most commonly in phone calls... but again, didn't fit the narrative so that was ignored....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the singles on here admit that they are cheating on their partners.

Now we believe that that is their choice and have no opinion about the morality of that.

However from reading profiles and threads in the forum it would appear that there are lots of people who would not meet anyone who is married and playing away.

Discuss... (feel like a school teacher!!!)

because they tend to cost money... lots of money...

because it is too close to home,

because of a million reasons.... and justifications"

This^^

also though, if you think of how many thousands of people are logged on at any given time on fab to the ratio that actually state on their profiles or in the forums that they don't approve / want to meet married 'singles' I wonder what the actual percentage would be?

just a thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So is it called when a married 'single, is playing with the other half of a swinging couple with out the others knowledge"

it's still called cheating...it's not swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

I think that for a lot of married people playing away from home it's the thrill of meeting others and thinking they won't get found out.

I can't see any circumstance when it isn't a possibility.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some of the singles on here admit that they are cheating on their partners.

Now we believe that that is their choice and have no opinion about the morality of that.

However from reading profiles and threads in the forum it would appear that there are lots of people who would not meet anyone who is married and playing away.

Discuss... (feel like a school teacher!!!)

because they tend to cost money... lots of money...

because it is too close to home,

because of a million reasons.... and justifications"

Yeah we understand people are free to use whatever service they think suits them. It's just those that moan about people not choosing to see them because of their infidelities.

All we were suggesting is if they used a site that caters for infidelity that would cut out being refused on those grounds.

It's the moaning about not fulfilling someone else's criteria we find tiresome.

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

We agree. It is not swinging. It is cheating. Not our problem from a moral standpoint, that is up to the people in the relationship, but the potential for unnecessary and ridiculous drama is always there, and that means it will never be ok with us. We dont want or deserve any of the drama and blame that can accompany cheating. There may be a potential for drama and hurt feelings in anything, but maximizing that potential is unacceptable.

I guess the question that comes to my mind the most is why, when a person decides to openly cheat, despite a clear majority opinion opposed to such behavior, are other people supposed to accept that behavior as suddenly ok, and ignore their own preferences and beliefs? You can't have that cake and eat it too. Its hypocritical.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This guy has his cake and eats it. There is such a thing as meaningless sex with others

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

"This guy has his cake and eats it. There is such a thing as meaningless sex with others "

There is a such thing as karma as well. Keep eating big guy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But, for all those meeting people who admit they are cheating means that you know you cannot truly trust this person from the outset.

This brings risks of their own.?

I think only naive people would think only married people might lie to strangers on the internet.

Maybe change the sentence a bit to.......for all those meeting with people who admit to being single, can you really trust them or are they saying what you want to hear to get what they want."

We are not naive enough to believe that it is only singleton's playing away from home that lie on the internet.

Like we have said before we may have met married people as singles before. Because we don't ask means that we can never be sure.

But the sentence we wrote above is actually a fact, if they say they are married and want to meet as a single, unless you get the express consent of the other spouse, you KNOW that that person is a liar. Therefore you cannot truly trust them.

Your recommended changes means that there may be lies told by everyone, but in truth that has to be based on an assumption. That is because it may not be a fact, they may be telling everyone, the 100%, god's honest truth.

Everyone lies to some degree, I did this morning when she was getting dressed and asked me if I thought she looked fatter today. I couldn't tell either way, she always looks gorgeous to me (could be lying though lol) but told her she definitely didn't, thinner if anything, because I knew it might make her feel good (although when she reads this I might not feel so good).

But the unpalatable thing for us regarding those playing behind their partners back, is when some one says they are being honest to you about lying to their partner. That is the difference, being able to lie to the person you are supposed to place above anyone else so long as you are honest to the person, you don't necessarily fancy, don't want to commit to, don't want to see the day after the nasty has been done, the person you just want to use to get yourself off, is fine.

Don't be a hypocrite and say you are honest because you are coming clean about lying to your spouse.

Do us a favour and lie to us too, in the grand scheme of things, we surely matter far less to you than your spouse. So in our blissful ignorance we can just not think about whether or not you are a liar, we can just get on with having a little fun.

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

Again, not referring to the cheating, just the ridiculous expectation that others accept and participate in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is to damn short to worry about who is doing wrong and who is doing right. As for karma i guess if you believe in that kinda shit it will happen to you u

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the singles on here admit that they are cheating on their partners.

Now we believe that that is their choice and have no opinion about the morality of that.

However from reading profiles and threads in the forum it would appear that there are lots of people who would not meet anyone who is married and playing away.

Discuss... (feel like a school teacher!!!)

because they tend to cost money... lots of money...

because it is too close to home,

because of a million reasons.... and justifications

Yeah we understand people are free to use whatever service they think suits them. It's just those that moan about people not choosing to see them because of their infidelities.

All we were suggesting is if they used a site that caters for infidelity that would cut out being refused on those grounds.

It's the moaning about not fulfilling someone else's criteria we find tiresome."

I don't moan about not fulfilling criteria on any grounds (marriage, looks, smoking etc) and i don't see why i shouldn't use this site. I do use others as well but one of the reasons i use it is that the people on here seem to be friendly, don't judge you and also just like a fun chat now and again.

I don't see why we cant live and let live. I'm open about being married (i didn't say honest so lets not open up that debate again!) and if you don't want to know me, that's your choice and i respect it. But lets not start saying who should and shouldn't use this site as where does it stop? Single women? single men? TVs? Is swinging ok just for couples? Where would we draw the line?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seen countless of married women, I must say the sex is more electric with them lol.

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

"Life is to damn short to worry about who is doing wrong and who is doing right. As for karma i guess if you believe in that kinda shit it will happen to you u"

Way to miss my point completely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seen countless of married women, I must say the sex is more electric with them lol."

if the husband can't provide for their sexual needs I don't blame them for fucking you

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i am not nieve enough to think if they are prepared to lie to the person who they profess to love , why on earth would I expect them to be honest with me.... so I give them a wide berth....

the problem isn't telling them there are other sites available... but if they are going to lie they are going to lie.....

as for shunting them to clubs... no thanks!!! lol the amount of times I have heard guys say "ooooh no, wouldn't bring the wife to a place like this!!!"..... or "ooooh no, wouldnt want to share my wife with anyone else!!" is actually eyeopening enough....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seen countless of married women, I must say the sex is more electric with them lol.

if the husband can't provide for their sexual needs I don't blame them for fucking you

"
Aww thanks and yes I agree they prob want a fitter guy than their hubby and more stamina lol xx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seen countless of married women, I must say the sex is more electric with them lol.

if the husband can't provide for their sexual needs I don't blame them for fucking you

Aww thanks and yes I agree they prob want a fitter guy than their hubby and more stamina lol xx."

of course. Married men get lazy and take wives for granted. They're all probably cheating too anyway lol x

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

"I seen countless of married women, I must say the sex is more electric with them lol.

if the husband can't provide for their sexual needs I don't blame them for fucking you

Aww thanks and yes I agree they prob want a fitter guy than their hubby and more stamina lol xx.

of course. Married men get lazy and take wives for granted. They're all probably cheating too anyway lol x"

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By *ames blackMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Why are you bothered as to why people use the site?

Surely they are allowed the same choice as you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why are you bothered as to why people use the site?

Surely they are allowed the same choice as you?"

You obviously haven't read all our posts on the thread. Of course anyone can use any site they want.

We are just saying that instead of singles, who play without their partners knowledge, complaining about the fact that some choose not to meet up with them because of this, that there are alternative sites out there that cater for those in the same circumstances.

It's just the moaning about others, who are just expressing their freedom of choice not to see cheaters, that gets on our nerves.

We just feel that they could avoid moaning about it, by doing something else. One suggestion was to use extramarital sites, another was to go to clubs as singles don't get quizzed about their private lives there generally.

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

Why are you bothered as to why people use the site?

Surely they are allowed the same choice as you?

You obviously haven't read all our posts on the thread. Of course anyone can use any site they want.

It's just the moaning about others, who are just expressing their freedom of choice not to see cheaters, that gets on our nerves.

Well said. It is usually ok to ask questions about something you dont understand in a forum anyway, but the knee-jerk reactions seem quite telling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have met a lot of cool people on fabswingers and i use all the other sites i can find just because i can as for others i think they tend to use this site just to piss off the people who have very high standards. To each their own

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't moan about not fulfilling criteria on any grounds (marriage, looks, smoking etc) and i don't see why i shouldn't use this site. I do use others as well but one of the reasons i use it is that the people on here seem to be friendly, don't judge you and also just like a fun chat now and again.

Never said who should or who shouldn't use this site. Just said that if you feel like moaning about people who do not want to meet cheaters, who, as you say, are open enough to admit this, then there may be alternatives open to you that you find more amenable and would stop the moaning.

That's all, definitely live and let live. We have admitted we may have met cheaters but because we don't ask about marital status we are unaware of this.

It's purely the moaning that gets on our tits.

Wish people would read the thread as a whole before posting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

Same goes for married women not getting sex at home

i totally agree, fancy a meet, lol

Lol too far away

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

All this "He lies to his wife...so he will lie to you"!!!

If im meeting him, its only for sex.....

So what do I care what lies he tells

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"All this "He lies to his wife...so he will lie to you"!!!

If im meeting him, its only for sex.....

So what do I care what lies he tells

because some will believe any shit a man will say to them in the quest of finding the right one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All this "He lies to his wife...so he will lie to you"!!!

If im meeting him, its only for sex.....

So what do I care what lies he tells

No one said you should care, you are free to meet and play with who you want

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

"All this "He lies to his wife...so he will lie to you"!!!

If im meeting him, its only for sex.....

So what do I care what lies he tells

No one said you should care, you are free to meet and play with who you want"

And if he lies about being disease free, does that not affect you? I agree you don't have to care if he's married or taken if you don't want to. Your choice. But truth matters to at least some degree at all times I would think.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

because some will believe any shit a man will say to them in the quest of finding the right one"

Yeah.....Iv seen the numerous couples profiles

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

ANYONE can lie about not having STIs...

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

"It's one of the reasons we're reluctant to meet single guys as there is just no way of knowing for sure if they are in fact single. Not worth the drama (for us anyway)

I ran a forum post about how many people had actually had the drama of the wronged party turn up at their door. No one had.

Attached people are probably only more unreliable as they have to cancel at the last moment. Personal preference is however paramount."

I've had a wronged party message me on here and one who messaged me on FB. I felt awful for the hurt it caused her but I also didn't like being accused of shagging around with married/attached guys. I usually read the circs well but in this occasion got it totally wrong.

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

ANYONE can lie about not having STIs...

Not the point. It still matters.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Not the point. It still matters. "

If I worried about people lying to me about STIs...I wouldnt be here....

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

Not the point. It still matters.

If I worried about people lying to me about STIs...I wouldnt be here....

Fair enough. Whatever works for you. I'd be willing to bet that would put you in the minority though. To each their own of course.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Fair enough. Whatever works for you. I'd be willing to bet that would put you in the minority though. To each their own of course. "

Doesnt put me in the minority....

It puts me in the majority of those that play safe at all times

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

Fair enough. Whatever works for you. I'd be willing to bet that would put you in the minority though. To each their own of course.

Doesnt put me in the minority....

It puts me in the majority of those that play safe at all times

Interesting perspective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ANYONE can lie about not having STIs...

Not the point. It still matters. "

Sorry I'm confused.....!!

are you saying that married men on here are more likely to lie about having an STI because they are cheating..?!?!

if so, I would think the opposite would be more likely because how would they explain an STI to their wife?

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

[Removed by poster at 11/02/14 19:43:48]

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

ANYONE can lie about not having STIs...

Not the point. It still matters.

Sorry I'm confused.....!!

are you saying that married men on here are more likely to lie about having an STI because they are cheating..?!?!

if so, I would think the opposite would be more likely because how would they explain an STI to their wife?"

Absolutely not. I was simply saying that it can matter if someone lies, nothing more. It was in response to a post stating that it doesn't matter or they don't care if someone lies. It was specific to that statement, and not about the bigger subject, which I addressed in other posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This guy has his cake and eats it. There is such a thing as meaningless sex with others "

It may be meaningless to you... but it probably wouldn't be to your wife

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"99% of fab ie the single profiles are in a relationship or married out side of fab

Interesting, but you suggest:

1) 99% of Fab are singles?? So all the couples make up only 1% of Fab?

2) So you know how many profiles there are on Fab,..

3) .. and have proof this 99% (how ever many that comes to) are in a relationship with a non-swinger?

I'd love to meet your research team

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

ANYONE can lie about not having STIs...

Not the point. It still matters.

Sorry I'm confused.....!!

are you saying that married men on here are more likely to lie about having an STI because they are cheating..?!?!

if so, I would think the opposite would be more likely because how would they explain an STI to their wife?

This is beginning to go in the "men cheat" direction - please remember that there are some women on Fabs who have non-swinging partners they are cheating on also.

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

"99% of fab ie the single profiles are in a relationship or married out side of fab

Interesting, but you suggest:

1) 99% of Fab are singles?? So all the couples make up only 1% of Fab?

2) So you know how many profiles there are on Fab,..

3) .. and have proof this 99% (how ever many that comes to) are in a relationship with a non-swinger?

I'd love to meet your research team

I nearly commented on this too, but I let it pass, lol. What a ridiculous number. I wasn't even sure how to comment on it.

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

ANYONE can lie about not having STIs...

Not the point. It still matters.

Sorry I'm confused.....!!

are you saying that married men on here are more likely to lie about having an STI because they are cheating..?!?!

if so, I would think the opposite would be more likely because how would they explain an STI to their wife?

This is beginning to go in the "men cheat" direction - please remember that there are some women on Fabs who have non-swinging partners they are cheating on also."

Not from me. I know both sexes cheat. And I am not attacking them for it. I am defending our preference to not have sex with them. That is all. The problem here is that they seem to think that "to each their own" somehow only applies to their preferences and that other people shouldn't care if they are in an unknowing relationship or not. Which is hypocritical. That is my only point in this conversation. Its not about which sex is more inclined or whether or not it is ok to do it. That is for the individual to decide. Just as it is our decision to avoid pain and drama as much as possible, as well as to avoid causing it to others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have said before on another thread, when we started out swinging about 8yrs ago we arranged to meet a single guy, he didn't tell us he was married said he was single,we had been texting all day prior to meet, then a few hours before meet we get a phone call of said guy saying his wife had seen messages, he had thought of a lie and asked me to phone her confirming what he had said... In other words save his marriage.

I did just that and swore then that I would never do that again, so that's why we choose not to knowingly meet married singles and if we were put in that situation again we wouldn't cover for anyone I would tell them the truth x

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

"I have said before on another thread, when we started out swinging about 8yrs ago we arranged to meet a single guy, he didn't tell us he was married said he was single,we had been texting all day prior to meet, then a few hours before meet we get a phone call of said guy saying his wife had seen messages, he had thought of a lie and asked me to phone her confirming what he had said... In other words save his marriage.

We had a similar experience, although we didn't have to cover for him, thank goodness. That would suck. It is why we put our rule in place as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am in a marriage that has unfortunately become sexless and lacklustre. It wouldn't work to discuss it with my wife. The reason I hang in is the kids; it would cause them much more harm to break up then carry on as it is. I am pretty sure that when they leave home our marriage wont survive but that is a few years off. I am not here to deceive or cause trouble but to occasionally have some fun and find a little bit of physical joy with another person. I dont blame anyone who wont meet married guys but the few meets I have had have been fantastic and worth the many rebuttals.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

The real question is "Don't people get tired of discussing this topic on a bi-weekly basis"?

The answer, sadly (and boringly) appears to be "no".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This guy has his cake and eats it. There is such a thing as meaningless sex with others

It may be meaningless to you... but it probably wouldn't be to your wife"

Oh i am sure she wouldnt find it meaningless just the same as the husband of my fb

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"This guy has his cake and eats it. There is such a thing as meaningless sex with others

It may be meaningless to you... but it probably wouldn't be to your wife

Oh i am sure she wouldnt find it meaningless just the same as the husband of my fb

I have never used this one before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This guy has his cake and eats it. There is such a thing as meaningless sex with others

It may be meaningless to you... but it probably wouldn't be to your wife

Oh i am sure she wouldnt find it meaningless just the same as the husband of my fb

I have never used this one before

I am so glad i am not alone i was getting worried

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

I think that for a lot of married people playing away from home it's the thrill of meeting others and thinking they won't get found out.

I can't see any circumstance when it isn't a possibility. "

Then your very short sighted. Not everyone has partners and marriages as happy and problem free(as far as sex is concerned) as you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

I think that for a lot of married people playing away from home it's the thrill of meeting others and thinking they won't get found out.

I can't see any circumstance when it isn't a possibility. "

possibly because you've not been in that situation yourself and only see things from your own perspective

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By *ickie dave 69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

If the spouse knows it can't be cheating because you have nothing to hide right ?

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

"If the spouse knows it can't be cheating because you have nothing to hide right ?

Correct. Definitely not the same thing.

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By *uud 4-funMan
over a year ago

Dartford

Maybe the partner does know or has a suspicion that their other hjalf is playing away and lets it go on.

What is probably alot harder is when the lady has been pursuaded to swing or to be bi just to please her partner.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe the partner does know or has a suspicion that their other hjalf is playing away and lets it go on.

What is probably alot harder is when the lady has been pursuaded to swing or to be bi just to please her partner. "

Both circumstances are unfortunate but lying has to be worse.

In this case you are giving your partner no choice.

At least in the other scenario the partner can make an informed choice and say no, if they wished.

So yeah lying is the greater of two evils, we think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe threalizr does know or has a suspicion that their other hjalf is playing away and lets it go on.

What is probably alot harder is when the lady has been pursuaded to swing or to be bi just to please her partner. "

This exactly my circumstance at my home life. I have offered my wife unlimited times to join in. I have come to realize i am stuck being the no good cheating husband good thing i got broad shoulders the haters can be harsh

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"As long as Fab is free, or paid for in a way that leaves no audit trail, it will always attract those who 'play away'."

That is quite obviously one of the attractions, the same people will probably use other sites too. It's a throw rocks theory, the more you throw, the more will hit. I am single so need for deception after the end of my marriage and divorce I decided no more bullshit in relationships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

swinging is, historically, for couples (as in wife swapping), so its obvious that married singles think they still qualify even if the other half of the couple isnt involved lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Maybe the partner does know or has a suspicion that their other hjalf is playing away and lets it go on.

What is probably alot harder is when the lady has been pursuaded to swing or to be bi just to please her partner. "

I imagine both scenarios are difficult. I would hate to be in a relationship where my partner cared so little for me or was so scared of losing me that they were prepared to turn a blind eye to me having sex with someone else. I know that some people have an agreement that has been discussed but I'm not talking about that, more the indifferent attitude.

By the same token I would hate to be the person feeling that I had to swing or have sex with someone of the same sex because my partner cared so little for me that they thought it ok to coerce me, or I cared so little for myself that I felt I had to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

I think that for a lot of married people playing away from home it's the thrill of meeting others and thinking they won't get found out.

I can't see any circumstance when it isn't a possibility.

Then your very short sighted. Not everyone has partners and marriages as happy and problem free(as far as sex is concerned) as you do. "

No not short sighted, was married before in a sexless marriage, didn't cross my mind to cheat once, we tried to make it work , I didn't work out so we divorced, our kids were very young and they have turned out well, one went to uni the other is travelling the world so all the people who say they stay together for the kids are probably harming their kids more by staying together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sounds like my situation except the difference is that I'm not sure if he knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe the partner does know or has a suspicion that their other hjalf is playing away and lets it go on.

What is probably alot harder is when the lady has been pursuaded to swing or to be bi just to please her partner. "

Why must it be the female who is going through the motions? We've seen male partners at parties who are clearly uncomfortable with the situation...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im a single guy, but i think the moral of the story is that if your partners gave each other plenty of sex

there would not be the problem of married guys going on sits like this to make up for there loss of fun that they are missing at home.

I think that for a lot of married people playing away from home it's the thrill of meeting others and thinking they won't get found out.

I can't see any circumstance when it isn't a possibility.

possibly because you've not been in that situation yourself and only see things from your own perspective "

I have been very recently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't knowingly play with a married person, but if I found out before I always think, if your partner doesn't want sex with you then why would I.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Maybe the partner does know or has a suspicion that their other hjalf is playing away and lets it go on.

What is probably alot harder is when the lady has been pursuaded to swing or to be bi just to please her partner.

Why must it be the female who is going through the motions? We've seen male partners at parties who are clearly uncomfortable with the situation..."

Us too. Very sad whether us the male it the female.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"loads of people will meet married men ...they just want sex without the dramas !"
well thats dosent make any sence!

Having sex with a married man is a drama........just ask his wife!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"loads of people will meet married men ...they just want sex without the dramas !well thats dosent make any sence!

Having sex with a married man is a drama........just ask his wife!

they mean that potentially there is less likely to be any drama involving attachment issues as the person is already with someone & therefore is not looking for another relationship.

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By *ugby 123Couple
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over a year ago

O o O oo

There is no way I would have done that, it would be his mess not ours.

I think he had a nerve asking you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't knowingly play with a married person, but if I found out before I always think, if your partner doesn't want sex with you then why would I."

Ha ha that last part is a very good point!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People do what they do and if you don't like what they do then avoid them.

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