FabSwingers.com forum: a hard man is good to find!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Despite giving themselves big build up in their profile, masses of veris and claims about their cocks, we still find a good proportion of men coming to meets who seem incapable of getting properly hard for anything more for a short.

Is anyone else noticing this and why do you think it is occuring?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a cup that says that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prolly nerves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *lassygilf60Woman
over a year ago

MANCHESTER

[Removed by poster at 05/02/14 00:28:41]

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Nerves, condomitis, not really fancying you. Yes it happens but it is very frustrating when it does.

A hard man is very good to find.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Despite giving themselves big build up in their profile, masses of veris and claims about their cocks, we still find a good proportion of men coming to meets who seem incapable of getting properly hard for anything more for a short.

Is anyone else noticing this and why do you think it is occuring?

In order to gain and maintain a full on erection for any meaningful period of time, a guy needs to be able to relax, so its understandable that first meet nerves can often soften a cock, and subsequent meets should see far more pleasing erections.

Some guys have such high testosterone though that they get wood in so much as a stiff breeze.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nerves for sure.. I have no issues getting and staying hard, shit half the time it gets hard even when I don't want it to.. But I have had a couple meets where the damn thing had a mind of its own and just wouldn't work.. That shits embarrassing.. And it wasn't from lack of being attracted because it's happened withsexy ass people

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

lol

'the dreams I could make come true. It's just beautiful'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without wishing to blow our own trumpet - no problems here .

We have not been short of meets and luckily have yet to meet a guy who isn't more than capable of staying hard .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just kiss me and i won't stop.

...if it happens, it happens. Somethings gone wrong or the expectation was too high. Maybe even the sexual chemistry that you thought you might have wasn't there - no matter how beautiful he/she is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At what age does this start happening to men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had that problem,touch wood.Pun intended.

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By * times sexyCouple
over a year ago

Staffs

Is anyone else noticing this and why do you think it is occuring?

Nothing to do with you of course is it ?? Nah it must be their fault lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I am finding this more frequently.

Usually the excuse is that they are put off by condoms but maybe I can come across as a bit intimidating as well which might make things more difficult.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put me at ease, make me feel welcomed and relaxed. Don't treat me as a peace of meet and you'll get the best of me.

It happened to me once with a very hot couple when I started swinging. I was uncomfortable as they asked me to strip off 2 mn after I got there and they put put the video cam on which I wasn't sure is a good idea. A first meet can be often tricky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to be honest and say it happens, as the pressure to perform( normally put upon myself is great).As I have at times struggled to maintain a good wood, I have resorted to cock rings and tablets. At times even those have no effect.

For me it is both a sub/conscious thing as I know I can perform well...it's just at times my little man is stubborn and doesn't want to...which frustrates me and so the cycle begins...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I've met as a single I've never had a problem with a guy getting an erection.

But when I've met as part of a couple it has happened a couple of times. I think sometimes a guy just gets a but intimidated by the situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I've met as a single I've never had a problem with a guy getting an erection.

But when I've met as part of a couple it has happened a couple of times. I think sometimes a guy just gets a but intimidated by the situation"

True with with me. I never fail to perform on a one to one meet. It's very possible with a couple. Depends on the situation.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"At what age does this start happening to men. "

39. Medically proven fact.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At what age does this start happening to men. "

We have found men in their 40s having difficulty. Those in their early 60s can be fine. It does seem to be a mental thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely it happens to most men at some point. Making fun of it is very disrespectful.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is anyone else noticing this and why do you think it is occuring?

Nothing to do with you of course is it ?? Nah it must be their fault lol

We try hard to put people at ease. We do not make a big thing of it either. Most seem very happy and relaxed.

Their interest and exitement seems to be there as they often cum from a semi-hardon during a bj to stiffen them.

But it could be us which is why we asked in here if others have the same experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just kiss me and i won't stop.

...if it happens, it happens. Somethings gone wrong or the expectation was too high. Maybe even the sexual chemistry that you thought you might have wasn't there - no matter how beautiful he/she is.

Women have problems too sometimes, regardless of how beautiful he/she is. I'm not but I had a problem once, ended the meet straight away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At what age does this start happening to men.

We have found men in their 40s having difficulty. Those in their early 60s can be fine. It does seem to be a mental thing."

I've had softies from guys in their twenties!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Surely it happens to most men at some point. Making fun of it is very disrespectful. "

We totally agree! We never make fun of it. It is nice to have a nice guy join us and enjoy our fun.

They can also do many other things to pleasure the lady though, so the meets are good. We do feel for the guys though that have difficulty, it cannot be nice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When I've met as a single I've never had a problem with a guy getting an erection.

But when I've met as part of a couple it has happened a couple of times. I think sometimes a guy just gets a but intimidated by the situation

True with with me. I never fail to perform on a one to one meet. It's very possible with a couple. Depends on the situation. "

Is it the presence if another man? Any suggestions as to how to improve the situation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, if he couldn't I wouldn't make a fuss, after all it could be me he didn't like but if it wasn't, nothing wrong with a good old -fashioned cuddle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah....the wee blue pill is often a god send....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm going to be honest and say it happens, as the pressure to perform( normally put upon myself is great).As I have at times struggled to maintain a good wood, I have resorted to cock rings and tablets. At times even those have no effect.

For me it is both a sub/conscious thing as I know I can perform well...it's just at times my little man is stubborn and doesn't want to...which frustrates me and so the cycle begins...

Thank you for your honesty. Is there anything a couple can do to help you? Are you better on the second and subsequent visits?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me, if he couldn't I wouldn't make a fuss, after all it could be me he didn't like but if it wasn't, nothing wrong with a good old -fashioned cuddle

We would never make a fuss! That would be cruel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me, if he couldn't I wouldn't make a fuss, after all it could be me he didn't like but if it wasn't, nothing wrong with a good old -fashioned cuddle

We would never make a fuss! That would be cruel. "

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/02/14 08:03:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firsthand no matter what " a profile says" a cock cannot stand to attention because of what a veri says.

Pressure, stress all sorts can lead to this.

It happens to woman too the pressure to have cum running down her legs.

If a man can't perform, he can't simple, I can hear the " yeah yeah" but it is true.

None of us are performing seals or 21 anymore.

If a man is unable to perform spare his feelings on this.

He has his hands and mouth.

Enjoy.

Nette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is anyone else noticing this and why do you think it is occuring?

Maybe they don't fancy you. If there is zero attraction then its hard to get hard and stay hard. We arenot machines. Just saying

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is anyone else noticing this and why do you think it is occuring?

Maybe they don't fancy you. If there is zero attraction then its hard to get hard and stay hard. We arenot machines. Just saying"

That is true. However, we always ask them when we meet them if they want to play before we go forward? They have always said yes.

Perhaps if they know they are not going to perform, because we are butt ugly, then they could make an excuse and leave?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is anyone else noticing this and why do you think it is occuring?

Maybe they don't fancy you. If there is zero attraction then its hard to get hard and stay hard. We arenot machines. Just saying

That is true. However, we always ask them when we meet them if they want to play before we go forward? They have always said yes.

Perhaps if they know they are not going to perform, because we are butt ugly, then they could make an excuse and leave?

They will always say yes though blokes are blokes just the way it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it's down to the amount of pressure they put themselves under with that big build up! We don't all have that problem!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe it's down to the amount of pressure they put themselves under with that big build up! We don't all have that problem!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it all comes down to the chase and the build up. Now if I guy just turns up at your door, there is more of a risk of the dreaded flop. For me, I like the thought of build to the stage where I'm ready to explode! When I played as a couple, I was going on social needy with some very sexy, horny people, and we'd just talk and flirt and go home and then message and meet up again, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. If everything else fails, just put a finger up his bum lol!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is anyone else noticing this and why do you think it is occuring?

Maybe they don't fancy you. If there is zero attraction then its hard to get hard and stay hard. We arenot machines. Just saying

That is true. However, we always ask them when we meet them if they want to play before we go forward? They have always said yes.

Perhaps if they know they are not going to perform, because we are butt ugly, then they could make an excuse and leave?

They will always say yes though blokes are blokes just the way it is

So it is Catch 22 then? If they do fancy us the pressure they put on themselves to perform makes them fail. If they don't fancy us then they will still say yes and fail anyway. Oh dear.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

It happens sometimes, men are not performing seals!

I am glad, I'm not a man and have that pressure.

Could be nerves, not feeling comfortable, lack of spark/attraction, a mental block....

Yes it has happened to us but have never made a big deal of it, sex is about more than just penetration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is anyone else noticing this and why do you think it is occuring?

Maybe they don't fancy you. If there is zero attraction then its hard to get hard and stay hard. We arenot machines. Just saying

That is true. However, we always ask them when we meet them if they want to play before we go forward? They have always said yes.

Perhaps if they know they are not going to perform, because we are butt ugly, then they could make an excuse and leave?

They will always say yes though blokes are blokes just the way it is

So it is Catch 22 then? If they do fancy us the pressure they put on themselves to perform makes them fail. If they don't fancy us then they will still say yes and fail anyway. Oh dear.

Exactly this , just the way it is

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it all comes down to the chase and the build up. Now if I guy just turns up at your door, there is more of a risk of the dreaded flop. For me, I like the thought of build to the stage where I'm ready to explode! When I played as a couple, I was going on social needy with some very sexy, horny people, and we'd just talk and flirt and go home and then message and meet up again, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. If everything else fails, just put a finger up his bum lol!"

If he is too nervous to get a hard on then I guess his sphincter will be in lock down! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Makes mental note to remember to take large dildo to next meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Makes mental note to remember to take large dildo to next meet.

"
god it would mega embarrassing if that happened picturing your self slapping the little fella x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Makes mental note to remember to take large dildo to next meet.

god it would mega embarrassing if that happened picturing your self slapping the little fella x "

No need for slapping, in case of softie, we could play with the toy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love another meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lollol That might work. I wasn't letting my ex doing that when we got married. I used to just laugh when she says a man's G spot is in his arse until one night she took me off guard whyle she was doing a great job with her mouth and I was amazed to know admit she was right lol.

For the OP's an idea that might help is that your partner take him to the bedroom just her and him till he gets off the nerves tban you can join. I never dare to ask this from couples but it would work for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Makes mental note to remember to take large dildo to next meet.

god it would mega embarrassing if that happened picturing your self slapping the little fella x

No need for slapping, in case of softie, we could play with the toy.

It wouldn't happen to me .. I can pull a Hardon looking at a crack on the pavement lol .. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A while back we had a guy join us for a MFM and he just couldn't get an erection. He was very embarrassed, despite our reassurances that it didn't matter, and he put it down to it being his first MFM experience and the nerves getting the better of him. He was a nice guy and we didn't want him to feel bad - after all it could happen to anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its obvious that when a guy meets a couple that he is bound to feel nervous. The couple are comfortable and confident with each other, the single guy is a stranger.

We've had situations whereby the guy has been very nervous. Im always nervous too so I tell them, we get chatting about that and soon we find that all of us are chatting and giggling. Sometimes, if guys havent met many couples before, my OH will go into the loo of the hotel room to make a business call and guys tend to relax with just me for those few minutes and they are ok after.

I dont have the expectation of a great sex marathon, a fine performance etc, all I expect is to meet a new friend who has enjoyed their meet with us as we have with him. It doesnt really matter about the strength of an erection, sex is so much more than that.

As a couple we always play with each other, with my partner taking the initiative, guys sometimes feel as the sole pressure is off him, he can join in at a time he feels comfortable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its obvious that when a guy meets a couple that he is bound to feel nervous. The couple are comfortable and confident with each other, the single guy is a stranger.

As a couple we always play with each other, with my partner taking the initiative, guys sometimes feel as the sole pressure is off him, he can join in at a time he feels comfortable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A while back we had a guy join us for a MFM and he just couldn't get an erection. He was very embarrassed, despite our reassurances that it didn't matter, and he put it down to it being his first MFM experience and the nerves getting the better of him. He was a nice guy and we didn't want him to feel bad - after all it could happen to anyone."

Yes sorry for that night. I was new to the whole scene of swinging. Am not that shy person you've met anymore. Actually I feel like a tart now! Can we start fresh again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes sorry for that night. I was new to the whole scene of swinging. Am not that shy person you've met anymore. Actually I feel like a tart now! Can we start fresh again

See, we told you it would all come good in the end

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By *ancavillMan
over a year ago

st agnes

I've had softies from guys in their twenties!!!

I doubt your that intimadating lol

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By *otTheReal01Man
over a year ago

London

In 1-2-1 and MMF situations I've never had a problem, I can get hard at the drop of a hat and I'm in my fourties so it's not necessarily age related.

The one time I did have a problem was when I went to AbFabs with a female friend and we went into the cage bed and suddenly there were about ten guys standing around naked with their cocks through the bars jerking off. So we moved to a room with a one way mirror and carried on.

Being bi I obviously don't have a problem with naked men (well decent looking ones anyway) and I've had MMFs in clubs with a smaller, mixed audience with no problems it's just that it was kind of intimidating in that situation and neither of us felt comfortable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes sorry for that night. I was new to the whole scene of swinging. Am not that shy person you've met anymore. Actually I feel like a tart now! Can we start fresh again

See, we told you it would all come good in the end

What a lovely result!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes sorry for that night. I was new to the whole scene of swinging. Am not that shy person you've met anymore. Actually I feel like a tart now! Can we start fresh again

See, we told you it would all come good in the end

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By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

It is a problem we have seen a fair number of times when we take our whore to an adult cinema. Many blame condoms as if they are expecting us to say, don't worry about the condom just stick it in her. Just isn't going to happen.

More recently we had one person contact us about a meet requesting we supply him with the magic blue pill.

With the ready availability of drugs to help men, we think it is a case, for many but not all, that they are too lazy to go source some 'assistance'.

In saying that we had two rather splendid hard cocks on Saturday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope this never happens to me. Damn i thought i had a problem with always being hard friends call me a walking boner

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By *anestrMan
over a year ago

South London

a nice bit of foreplay normally turns it into a flagpole and it wont come down till the business has been doen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At what age does this start happening to men.

39. Medically proven fact.

Bugger I'm 6 years past my "use by" date !

Now where's that rope and sturdy branch to hang myself from ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nerves are a big part of it!! Lack of fore play, to many expectations... Cocks can be so damn fickle! What works 9/10 at home , won't work at a meet!!

Patience and going in with no expectations is the best way to handle things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it is both a sub/conscious thing as I know I can perform well...it's just at times my little man is stubborn and doesn't want to...which frustrates me and so the cycle begins...

Thank you for your honesty. Is there anything a couple can do to help you? Are you better on the second and subsequent visits?"

It depends, sometimes the cock ring and lube works, sometimes a tablet does. Mostly it's just a question of using foreplay until my little man is ready! I'm honest cos I know what my tongue is for...

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By * times sexyCouple
over a year ago

Staffs

I think the key to the OPs comments is the use of the word(and if you look its a theme thrugh the thread especially used by women) "performance" It would seem to us (and we have met single guys) maybe its the way a meet is conducted ie your expectations. e agree with an earlier poster this does seem disrespectful, I

It would be very interesting to see whether the OP or many of the less sympathetic women who have contributed to this thread would respond quite so enthusiastically or would be so magnanimous if a single guy had started a thread that said.

Ive noticed that more and more women i meet lay there like a sack of spuds when i fuck them with my rock hard cock and its seems to be on the increase and its really disappointing , Do other single guys experience this too ,

Then a string of single men proceeded to debate why a lot of woman dont meet their expectations and speculate as to why,

Come on ladies admit it you would scream blue murder , but it would only be the same thing !!

Single Guys , Over to you , dare You lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would hate to be a man, under so much pressure. The only consolation for me would be all the wanking I would do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the key to the OPs comments is the use of the word(and if you look its a theme thrugh the thread especially used by women) "performance" It would seem to us (and we have met single guys) maybe its the way a meet is conducted ie your expectations. e agree with an earlier poster this does seem disrespectful, I

Then a string of single men proceeded to debate why a lot of woman dont meet their expectations and speculate as to why,

Come on ladies admit it you would scream blue murder , but it would only be the same thing !!

Single Guys , Over to you , dare You lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then a string of single men proceeded to debate why a lot of woman dont meet their expectations and speculate as to why,

Come on ladies admit it you would scream blue murder , but it would only be the same thing !!

Single Guys , Over to you , dare You lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've moved away from some of the meetups I used to attend, namely gangbangs(or greedygirl if u prefer that term), I will still attend them at times...if I know I can get the same thing I can get from one on one meets, namely some intimacy(ie kissing)-

dont get me wrong I like it filthy,but that doesnt mean I'm just to get my cock in....I like the sensual side of things

when thats lacking, or I feel its performaCOCK time, I'll just use other methods to please if I can..until I feel my cock is aroused

director male partners dont help me either...and my theory?- if U arent also fucking ur partner with the other people...there is no need to comment in a derogatory manner.So I've started choosing meets where I find there isnt a pornoumptous attitude until everyone feels comfortable

*pornoumptous has now been trademarked by me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nerves, condomitis, not really fancying you. Yes it happens but it is very frustrating when it does.

A hard man is very good to find.

Im always on the look out

Sammi

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've moved away from some of the meetups I used to attend, namely gangbangs(or greedygirl if u prefer that term), I will still attend them at times...if I know I can get the same thing I can get from one on one meets, namely some intimacy(ie kissing)-

dont get me wrong I like it filthy,but that doesnt mean I'm just to get my cock in....I like the sensual side of things

when thats lacking, or I feel its performaCOCK time, I'll just use other methods to please if I can..until I feel my cock is aroused

*pornoumptous has now been trademarked by me "

I (male part) agree with you that gangbangs are not nearly as sexually exiting for a male as 1 on 1. The ones I have attended have been exemplified by what the girls call "stage fright" in that the majority of the men attending could not get it up to perform for some time after the girls became available. Kissing as a stimulant is however a personal choice so some do and some don't.

The "male director" is an interesting point. How do you know before you go if he is going to direct? Do you turn down or walk out of meets if the male starts to direct? Surely, for some couples, e.g. master/slave, you are the stunt cock and they will expect you to perform if you agree to turn up?

I am always the first to be ready to fuck my lady as she turns me on so much; especially when she is going to enjoy multiple cocks. She tries hard to relax, seduce and encourage the men.

Commenting in a derogatory manner would be downright rude and totally counter productive! Have you actually met that? Some man saying to you "You came to a MFM to join me in fucking my woman -- and you cannot even get it up"? That would be awful!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Then a string of single men proceeded to debate why a lot of woman dont meet their expectations and speculate as to why,

Come on ladies admit it you would scream blue murder , but it would only be the same thing !!

Single Guys , Over to you , dare You lol

Please can you point out where in the original post the word "performance" is used.

Our expectations are that the guy will be polite, clean, friendly, able to relax and able to get a hard on so he can penetrate my lady. We spend a lot of time in messages and telephone conversations trying to develop a rapport so they feel comfortable before they arrive. We give them time to settle in when they arrive. We do not direct them. Is therefore what we expect too much? How is that being disrespectful? Is it not the Fab gold standard of personal preference in operation?

I (male) for one would be very glad if a single man (perhaps you sir?) started a thread saying he finds the women on here are a "sack of spuds" in bed. As that would appear to be your stated view of the women you have met I thank you for the information and I, and I am sure others, will check your veris to see who the "maris piper" women are. They may of course see this as disrespectful on your part but I am sure you will be able to explain when the time comes.

The OP was a genuine attempt to identify if the issues we have faced were unusual and what the causes are so they can be avoided if possible. No way was this intended to belittle or be disrespect single men. All of the guys we have met have been very nice and we have enjoyed their company regardless of their "performance".

We are thankful to those who have posted constructive and informative comments.

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By *olwaySonarMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Surely it happens to most men at some point. Making fun of it is very disrespectful. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Makat. I didn't see any disrespect in your OP. However in your last post you have mentioned some of your expectations and one of them was for the guy to have a hard on in return for what you have spent in time and effort before meeting them. I think this might be the reason or part of threason why some of the guys you have met couldn't get over the nerves due to those EXPECTATIONS which puts them under PRESSURE. Even if you didn't say it straight to them anyone can sense it because its there. Not all guys are bold and shy free. As it's been said in one of the replies, the guy is the stranger and you and you're partner are familiar and comfortable with each other. That on itself puts him under pressure. Adding to it your expectations that clearly you find difficult not to express makes the perfect recepy for the stranger to not be able to get over the nerves.

It will help if you don't expect much. Let them feel welcomed. Talk about other things than fab or sex. Then leave them with your partner for some time. Let her start him off in privacy then you join them. He has most likely broken through the nerves once you're away. Just suggesting.

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

"Nerves for sure.. I have no issues getting and staying hard, shit half the time it gets hard even when I don't want it to.. But I have had a couple meets where the damn thing had a mind of its own and just wouldn't work.. That shits embarrassing.. And it wasn't from lack of being attracted because it's happened with sexy ass people"

Happens to us all mate, i have starred in dozens of movies with various women & you never know until that point if it will or if it won't lol!

Stress, worry, condoms, fancying the person to much even helps toward the flops sometimes.

The harder you try the worse it gets so if it happens on a shoot I'll stop for a cuppa, if it during play I'll do a bit oral & make myself busy trying to relax & think of the naughty situation I'm in...

John

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

"Surely it happens to most men at some point. Making fun of it is very disrespectful.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Makat. I didn't see any disrespect in your OP. However in your last post you have mentioned some of your expectations and one of them was for the guy to have a hard on in return for what you have spent in time and effort before meeting them. I think this might be the reason or part of threason why some of the guys you have met couldn't get over the nerves due to those EXPECTATIONS which puts them under PRESSURE. Even if you didn't say it straight to them anyone can sense it because its there. Not all guys are bold and shy free. As it's been said in one of the replies, the guy is the stranger and you and you're partner are familiar and comfortable with each other. That on itself puts him under pressure. Adding to it your expectations that clearly you find difficult not to express makes the perfect recepy for the stranger to not be able to get over the nerves.

Thanks you for your helpful suggestions. We will consider them carefully.

I would ask though, if the purpose of the meeting is to have penetrative sex, the man who approaches us should be clear before he asks for a meet that he can achieve penetration in the circumstances proposed?

I have however met with couples as a single in the past and can agree it is not easy to perform, especially if there is an atmosphere between them, but time and experience makes it better. For this reason we normally try and chose men with good experience and that seems to help.

As far as my partner meeting them on her own for a while. She will chat to them on her own in the house but does not want to go to bed on her own with them. We make this clear to the guys we chat to so there is no surprise.

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

Thanks you for your helpful suggestions. We will consider them carefully.

Its a tall order for someone to give a cast iron guarantee the he will achieve penetration as the pressure is already there from the start, relax a bit & you will find the guys will be a bit more relaxed too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we,ve been lucky not to have had this problem, we put it down to without blowing our own trumpet our way of relaxing whoever visits an making them feel comfortable and confident as sex is mainly in the head we work hard at this when a meet arrives, the best very for us says how relaxed an comfortable they were made to feel,a few bevys good laugh an not taking it to seriously till the action starts works for us every time, ,there is another side to this tho when the guy that turns up is maybe half your partners age an at the height of his virility where it could put pressure on your own fella to perform as well as him,thankfully we,ve never had a problem either way but can see how it can raise its head....or not as the case may be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go on socials with no expectations at all, same goes for a meet. I send pics so they know what I look like,? so have the choice to meet or not to meet. If I'm not to their taste them I'd rather they said so

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