FabSwingers.com forum: How to prove your honesty?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm a single dad but it been said to me that my profile etc could look suspicious as if I'm married and hiding being here from my partner.

Um how to I prove I'm on the level within the site rules?

I know there are not many single dad's and it does make certain meet times etc difficult but surely I'm not the only one and this has come up before?

Cheers for any thoughts. At least this thread is something different eh.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

You can't, because that makes you a single male cheating lying two timing.........only kidding...lol.

Just be yourself and you will be fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get accused of being married/in a relationship and playing away surprisingly often on here.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

you dont have to prove anything if you are on the level. if other people have issues thats their problem, not yours.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

All you can do is be honest, there is no way you can force people to believe you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have a Sonic The Hedgehog duvet cover and when I was with my wife I don't think she would have tolerated that. LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just read your profile Amdy and to be honest there's nothing there that sounds suspicious to me. You actually come across as an open honest friendly guy (you mention being a single dad, have face pics and veris) and there's plenty of us on here who have kiddies and understand it's not easy meeting at the drop of a hat. It's a lovely profile and I don't think you need to change it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Andy (not Amdy) grrrr fingers still half asleep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a woman message me out of the blue to say I must be lying about being single, simply because my profile states I can't accommodate. I didn't even have an opportunity to reply to her, as she blocked me straight away.

If people take the time to bother finding out about you then all can be explained honestly and plainly. If they can't be bothered to even do that then I'd rather not waste my time with someone so ignorant and narrow-minded. So they do me a favour by proving they're an idiot.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just read your profile Amdy and to be honest there's nothing there that sounds suspicious to me. You actually come across as an open honest friendly guy (you mention being a single dad, have face pics and veris) and there's plenty of us on here who have kiddies and understand it's not easy meeting at the drop of a hat. It's a lovely profile and I don't think you need to change it x"

Thank you guys that's very sweet and I have always tried to be 100% honest since joining. Glad to know my profile reads OK I'm not very experienced here as yet and not good at selling myself.

I wish I knew some other single dad's to have some support sometimes because it can be tough at times but seems we are as rare as hens teeth.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I have a Sonic The Hedgehog duvet cover and when I was with my wife I don't think she would have tolerated that. LOL"

irrefutable evidence !

As Evie said you have nothing to prove.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are not all so judgemental, some of us are more than willing to give others

the benefit of the doubt.

How does anyone really know about a prospective partner's personal circumstances?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a Sonic The Hedgehog duvet cover and when I was with my wife I don't think she would have tolerated that. LOL"

You need better taste in women! Your duvet sounds cool to me.

I think your profile looks fine, honest and good. If some people don't like it don't worry, they won't be the kind of people you'd get on with.

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By *ate_night_massageMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

"I'm a single dad but it been said to me that my profile etc could look suspicious as if I'm married and hiding being here from my partner."

I think the reality is that there will always be some people who are suspicious whatever you do, but it probably says more about them than it does about you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the things on here that annoy me, are the fact that so many people on here are prepared to judge others.

Yes, people who let you down, or quite clearly lie should be judged, but people's circumstances shouldn't be.

I am a solo male (which means I am attached but playing solo), morally maybe that is wrong, but this is a swinging site, therefore things that people like to do on this site, would be judged harshly by others.

I think unless someone goes out to hurt another site member or is dishonest on here, then they should be treated with respect whatever their circumstance, and people shouldn't make presumptions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you dont have to prove anything if you are on the level. if other people have issues thats their problem, not yours."

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think the fact that you can accommodate helps. I suppose worst case is that you go on cam on a lap top or something and take it for a walk round the house and show the other person that you aren't hiding a wife.

Mind you if they are THAT suspicious, they'll just say she is at work, tied up in a cupboard, watching Leeds Utd or something equally bizarre.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I had a woman message me out of the blue to say I must be lying about being single, simply because my profile states I can't accommodate. I didn't even have an opportunity to reply to her, as she blocked me straight away.

But this is a numbers game. Fair enough, not all the guys that can't accommodate are married but I bet that 99% of the guys that are married can't accommodate so by only playing with guys that can you are excluding 99% of the cheaters.

It's not like there is a shortage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of the things on here that annoy me, are the fact that so many people on here are prepared to judge others.

Yes, people who let you down, or quite clearly lie should be judged, but people's circumstances shouldn't be.

I think unless someone goes out to hurt another site member or is dishonest on here, then they should be treated with respect whatever their circumstance, and people shouldn't make presumptions."

And thats well said

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I don't proactively prove to anyone, anything about me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was a single dad for 14 years

It's the most rewarding thing you can ever do. I have never regretted a single day ,seeing my son grow from a eating pooing machine to a well balanced young man , with morals and standards.

But being a single dad is lonely , the single mums don't want to talk to you just in case you come onto them the only guys you meet socially are not normally the type of person you want hanging round your kids.

As to what people say here accusing you of being fake, etc .

Move on find someone else, it's not the end of the world , kids are more important than sex with strangers on a swingers site ,

Most importantly get a babysitter regularly every week Saturday night , when this happens you will find that you can meet people both in real life and on here .

Join a working mens club most of them are kiddy friendly and you will meet other guys and occasionally women

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just was to say the message wasn't nasty in any way more in the way of a word the the wise or a friendly heads up that it may appear that way to some.

I'm aware that there is dishonesty wherever there are people and I know intellectually that I shouldn't have to prove myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't have to prove anything to anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not like there is a shortage."

I've no problem with someone playing the percentages (though 88.3% of all statistics are made up), what I found was remarkable was to receive an unsolicited message from a stranger calling me a liar. Surely any sensible person would just ignore those whose profile that they don't like the look of?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As everyone has said, you don't need to prove anything and you do come across as a genuinely nice guy so good luck.....xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was a single dad for 14 years

It's the most rewarding thing you can ever do. I have never regretted a single day ,seeing my son grow from a eating pooing machine to a well balanced young man , with morals and standards.

As to what people say here accusing you of being fake, etc .

Move on find someone else, it's not the end of the world , kids are more important than sex with strangers on a swingers site ,

Most importantly get a babysitter regularly every week Saturday night , when this happens you will find that you can meet people both in real life and on here .

Join a working mens club most of them are kiddy friendly and you will meet other guys and occasionally women "

Thanks. I'm glad I'm not or wasn't rather the only one.

I've practically been a hermit these last four years as the reason she is with me is that her mum practically threw her out and said if I didn't take her she would put her in care. I'm sure social services wouldn't have let her do that but I was happy to have her.

So I've tried to make her feel as safe and secure and loved as I can but she is very mixed up and had big abandonment issues now.

I don't drink or smoke and don't follow sport or have any interest in cars so I'm not much of a mans man as it were and don't even really know how to talk to them. They don't want to hear about being a lone parent that's for sure in my experience so I stopped trying to socialize.

But she's 16 now and I want a social life again and still mixed up from my marriage break up so I thought this might be a good place to start. Don't know if I'm being naive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was a single dad for 14 years

It's the most rewarding thing you can ever do. I have never regretted a single day ,seeing my son grow from a eating pooing machine to a well balanced young man , with morals and standards.

As to what people say here accusing you of being fake, etc .

Move on find someone else, it's not the end of the world , kids are more important than sex with strangers on a swingers site ,

Most importantly get a babysitter regularly every week Saturday night , when this happens you will find that you can meet people both in real life and on here .

Join a working mens club most of them are kiddy friendly and you will meet other guys and occasionally women

Thanks. I'm glad I'm not or wasn't rather the only one.

So I've tried to make her feel as safe and secure and loved as I can but she is very mixed up and had big abandonment issues now.

But she's 16 now and I want a social life again and still mixed up from my marriage break up so I thought this might be a good place to start. Don't know if I'm being naive

This is totally the wrong place to start having a life sorry To tell you that ,

I have winked you so if you want to priv mail me jason you can and we can chat more

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By *ingjayMan
over a year ago

exeter

Hey fair play I'm a single dad, know the feeling, 16 though..... Doh!!! My youngest girl is 2.5 and me oldest is 6, I gotta whole lot if putting my life on hold, playing barbies and doing hair to come yet!!! Although their mum does have them 2weekends a month,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey fair play I'm a single dad, know the feeling, 16 though..... Doh!!! My youngest girl is 2.5 and me oldest is 6, I gotta whole lot if putting my life on hold, playing barbies and doing hair to come yet!!! Although their mum does have them 2weekends a month, "

Lol playing barbies , I used to mend cars , with my son watching one day I heard a laugh then a splash , then a laugh then a splash , little sod was dropping my sockets down the drain.

we used to put an action man on our Xmas tree,

Fair play to you mate , making the right decisions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your a Bloke so must be a lying cheating Bastard.

Simples innit

Sarcastic of Soho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look at me boat

Nette

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By *ingjayMan
over a year ago

exeter

Unfortunately I have girly sperm........ But plenty of female friends in the right professions to teach me the plaits, ect ect, and to be fair I think men can do a better job than some women, "I'm not sitting in a room full of women I don't know" " I'm not going to a public swimming pool where people can see me" - women have far to many insecurities that stop them doing what's best for the kids, I attened most available toddler groups I take em swimming every other weekend, oh and when a man says /thinks 'let's just go to the park or the local theme park' - he just packs a bag and goes, women (in my vast ammount of experience) 'oh I Dunno the weather might turn' 'I think I've got an eBay parcel comming' ' what happens if theres a tornado in the cook islands' - basically over think and try and convince themselves of all the reasons not to just go and do something!!! -I know many many a female friend that are like this!!!! But another sad fact pretty much every person I'm friendly with is female, me male friends live in different towns so hard to ever see em, I'm surrounded by the female species 24/7!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Enjoy the fun times. They think you know everything and then one they they wake up abc YOU KNOW NOTHING!!

My daughter has had buckets of teenage angst since she was about 8 so make the most of everyday they are your babies and look up to you as a fount of all knowledge mate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP my advice is never respond to those people who want more than you are happy to give.

So what if they think you are married because you can't meet at the drop of a hat - you can't and that's it.

I would never bend over backwards to meet anyone or respond to others demands.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be honest and upfront about your domestic situation from the onset, and gain trust via good communications.

Personally, I tend to avoid gents with family commitments, as I found their family always came first in the past, which was entirely understandable.

However, I do not like having my plans that are usually arranged well in advance dashed/ruined because a child cannot go to his/her mum's/falls ill/whatever at the last minute.

May seem harsh to some, however, that's life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Be honest and upfront about your domestic situation from the onset, and gain trust via good communications.

Personally, I tend to avoid gents with family commitments, as I found their family always came first in the past, which was entirely understandable.

However, I do not like having my plans that are usually arranged well in advance dashed/ruined because a child cannot go to his/her mum's/falls ill/whatever at the last minute.

May seem harsh to some, however, that's life.

It's very true. That's why I've waited until she is 16 and hopefully ok to leave a while on occasion now without her burning the house down or something.

She also has a boyfriend so when she's with him she couldn't give two hoots where I am. Lol

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I'm a single dad but it been said to me that my profile etc could look suspicious as if I'm married and hiding being here from my partner.

Um how to I prove I'm on the level within the site rules?

I know there are not many single dad's and it does make certain meet times etc difficult but surely I'm not the only one and this has come up before?

Cheers for any thoughts. At least this thread is something different eh.

if you are a single dad.. and you with it will help you in your situation... then mention it on your profile....

the profile is the shop window to the world... use it!!!

remember that people aren't mindreaders and may go on experiences that have happened in the past....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's practically the first thing I mention in my profile.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"It's practically the first thing I mention in my profile. "

Lol proves that even when giving advice a out profiles people don't read them. This has tickled me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's practically the first thing I mention in my profile.

Lol proves that even when giving advice a out profiles people don't read them. This has tickled me

Yes, however, it could perhaps be more specific, in that the OP is a single dad to a teenager that can fend for his/herself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally agree with the above good luck hun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately I have girly sperm........ But plenty of female friends in the right professions to teach me the plaits, ect ect, and to be fair I think men can do a better job than some women, "I'm not sitting in a room full of women I don't know" " I'm not going to a public swimming pool where people can see me" - women have far to many insecurities that stop them doing what's best for the kids, I attened most available toddler groups I take em swimming every other weekend, oh and when a man says /thinks 'let's just go to the park or the local theme park' - he just packs a bag and goes, women (in my vast ammount of experience) 'oh I Dunno the weather might turn' 'I think I've got an eBay parcel comming' ' what happens if theres a tornado in the cook islands' - basically over think and try and convince themselves of all the reasons not to just go and do something!!! -I know many many a female friend that are like this!!!! But another sad fact pretty much every person I'm friendly with is female, me male friends live in different towns so hard to ever see em, I'm surrounded by the female species 24/7!! "

So funny but probably true! I must be a man. I pack a bag and sun cream and anoraks and off we go! They grow up too fast. We mostly see couples out with kids and they are arguing and the kids look miserable. We on the other hand are having a blast.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"I have a Sonic The Hedgehog duvet cover and when I was with my wife I don't think she would have tolerated that. LOL"
post your avatar pic poaex on said duvet cover .. everyone will believe you then

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By *atasha_DavidCouple
over a year ago

Slough

Am I the only person that thinks you look disturbingly like James May?

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By *olwaySonarMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"you dont have to prove anything if you are on the level. if other people have issues thats their problem, not yours."

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I think it's probably sexual frustration talking when that happens, haha!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I the only person that thinks you look disturbingly like James May?

I checked it out, he was wearing a hoody in his avatar pic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op Ur profile is fine

If peopledont believe what u say then its their loss.

As for getting a life maybe think more about hobbies / interests as a starting point or the social meets advertised on the forums ?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

FWIW Andy, from the posts of yours I've seen on the forums you very much come across as totally genuine - so stuff 'em!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I've said on threads like this before I never assume single men are married if they can't accommodate. I used to meet at home. My daughter was coming home from uni and I said to a regular playmate (whilst lying in my bed) we'll have to meet at yours next week to which he replied "I don't invite people off the net into my home, it's not a knocking shop!"

I don't expect anyone to justify accommodating or not to me: I simply use it as another selection criteria and don't meet those that can't!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You can never please some people. And some of those would likely look for any reason not to meet, rather than the actual one that they really have - they'll apportion blame to others, rather than take responsibility themselves. And there are some that get off by making others feel inferior, wrong etc.

As long as you don't buy into their games, and hone your skills at finding decent people, then you'll be fine.

Having a family holds responsibilities that others won't have. Even singles amongst us won't typically meet at the drop of a hat, so I'd get out to socials, clubs etc as well, and meet locals. That way you'll get known and develop a good group of contacts and friends.

Let others block away, you'd not want them near you.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

You can't make someone believe you...personally we won't jump through hoops to prove anything to anyone on here.

If people choose to doubt us, then that is up to them.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

I don't expect anyone to justify accommodating or not to me: I simply use it as another selection criteria and don't meet those that can't!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a Sonic The Hedgehog duvet cover and when I was with my wife I don't think she would have tolerated that. LOL"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You shouldnt have to prove anything on here!..why should you? ...x

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Its a funny thing isn't it as I don't accom either as my son is here but no one questions a woman, guys do get a bit of a rough ride sometimes

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By *arnaclebillMan
over a year ago

Robin Hood County

"you dont have to prove anything if you are on the level. if other people have issues thats their problem, not yours."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a Sonic The Hedgehog duvet cover and when I was with my wife I don't think she would have tolerated that. LOL post your avatar pic poaex on said duvet cover .. everyone will believe you then "

I've just added a new pic to my profile showing a bit of Sonic. LOL

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Seems the new pic went down like a lead balloon?

Maybe I need a Super Mario Bros bedding set instead? LOL

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