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The problem with swingers sites

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The problem with swingers sites is that we base nearly all of our ideas about people on the pictures they post on there profiles. Please don't misunderstand me, there has to be that attraction in the first place that is a given. But, how many times have you been to a swingers club and have come away having met people who normally you would not have given a second look thinking, really nice people and find yourself thinking that looks become less important. And on the Flip side people who you think look amazing on a profile and you get geared up to meet with high hopes etc etc only to find out that there looks really are only skin deep... I guess the question is, where do we each draw the line?

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By *ighlandballsMan
over a year ago

Tayside

Yes that is so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with swingers sites is that we base nearly all of our ideas about people on the pictures they post on there profiles. Please don't misunderstand me, there has to be that attraction in the first place that is a given. But, how many times have you been to a swingers club and have come away having met people who normally you would not have given a second look thinking, really nice people and find yourself thinking that looks become less important. And on the Flip side people who you think look amazing on a profile and you get geared up to meet with high hopes etc etc only to find out that there looks really are only skin deep... I guess the question is, where do we each draw the line?"

Wow, what you wrote is sooo true! We've made many friends by meeting at clubs, and in all honesty, if we'd seen them on the site we probably wouldn't of thought they're for us. To us, it shows you can't beat a great personality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with swingers sites is that we base nearly all of our ideas about people on the pictures they post on there profiles. Please don't misunderstand me, there has to be that attraction in the first place that is a given. But, how many times have you been to a swingers club and have come away having met people who normally you would not have given a second look thinking, really nice people and find yourself thinking that looks become less important. And on the Flip side people who you think look amazing on a profile and you get geared up to meet with high hopes etc etc only to find out that there looks really are only skin deep... I guess the question is, where do we each draw the line?"

I absolutely couldn't agree more, that's why we frequent clubs some of the people we have become friends with we may never have met them if we had left it to an internet site, and some of our swinging friends are not on any swinging sites at all

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Swinger sites are like online shopping. You know what you want and so do a search for it, and that's it. Whereas clubs and parties are like going shopping - you see something different you like and you know you never would have found it on the web as you wouldn't have even thought to search for it.

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By *ingjayMan
over a year ago

exeter

100% depends on what you look like on here, And another site I used to use, shame bit it's true, hence I find my friends in clubs and the real world, then they can see I'm not just an ugly mug but a good guy, but your sir is well said, cue 100 replies digging themselves out of a hole with

"We never base ours on looks its all about the profile text"

"Looks aren't important so much as the first message, it's got to be this and that and grab me ect"

"There has to be an attraction for both of us so we need to both see pics but it's not always based on looks ect ect"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Swinger sites are like online shopping. You know what you want and so do a search for it, and that's it. Whereas clubs and parties are like going shopping - you see something different you like and you know you never would have found it on the web as you wouldn't have even thought to search for it."
very true!..x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Swinger sites are like online shopping. You know what you want and so do a search for it, and that's it. Whereas clubs and parties are like going shopping - you see something different you like and you know you never would have found it on the web as you wouldn't have even thought to search for it."
.

To a point I agree but I think people's personality does not come across on a profile ours included

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By *ingjayMan
over a year ago

exeter

It's funny though like you said go to a club you meet all sorts and chat ect but if you don't look the part in here no one wants to talk,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with swingers sites is that we base nearly all of our ideas about people on the pictures they post on there profiles. Please don't misunderstand me, there has to be that attraction in the first place that is a given. But, how many times have you been to a swingers club and have come away having met people who normally you would not have given a second look thinking, really nice people and find yourself thinking that looks become less important. And on the Flip side people who you think look amazing on a profile and you get geared up to meet with high hopes etc etc only to find out that there looks really are only skin deep... I guess the question is, where do we each draw the line?"
couldn't agree with more and a great post people do judge people on the way they look and like you say there has to be some kind of attraction..... You could be the best looking couple or person in the world but if you can't hold a conversation or have a sense of humour then it's not for us ... How can you judge that by a photo.... All well and good just meeting up for a fuck bit we like to chat for a a little while to see if there is some kind of spark ... Again great post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's funny though like you said go to a club you meet all sorts and chat ect but if you don't look the part in here no one wants to talk, "

We both make sure we make the effort to look the part when we go to a club in fact more so

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Swinger sites are like online shopping. You know what you want and so do a search for it, and that's it. Whereas clubs and parties are like going shopping - you see something different you like and you know you never would have found it on the web as you wouldn't have even thought to search for it..

To a point I agree but I think people's personality does not come across on a profile ours included "

But you've still got to want to talk to the person to find out whether they have a stellar personality, and most of the time you won't talk to people you don't like the look of. (generic 'you', not you specifically)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Swinger sites are like online shopping. You know what you want and so do a search for it, and that's it. Whereas clubs and parties are like going shopping - you see something different you like and you know you never would have found it on the web as you wouldn't have even thought to search for it..

To a point I agree but I think people's personality does not come across on a profile ours included

But you've still got to want to talk to the person to find out whether they have a stellar personality, and most of the time you won't talk to people you don't like the look of. (generic 'you', not you specifically)"

Yes I take your point

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By *W69Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth


"Swinger sites are like online shopping. You know what you want and so do a search for it, and that's it. Whereas clubs and parties are like going shopping - you see something different you like and you know you never would have found it on the web as you wouldn't have even thought to search for it..

To a point I agree but I think people's personality does not come across on a profile ours included

But you've still got to want to talk to the person to find out whether they have a stellar personality, and most of the time you won't talk to people you don't like the look of. (generic 'you', not you specifically)

Yes I take your point "

Hear what your saying, sometimes the wrapping paper is more exciting than the present but you've got to be drawn in by the wrapping first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with swingers sites is that we base nearly all of our ideas about people on the pictures they post on there profiles. Please don't misunderstand me, there has to be that attraction in the first place that is a given. But, how many times have you been to a swingers club and have come away having met people who normally you would not have given a second look thinking, really nice people and find yourself thinking that looks become less important. And on the Flip side people who you think look amazing on a profile and you get geared up to meet with high hopes etc etc only to find out that there looks really are only skin deep... I guess the question is, where do we each draw the line?"

I wouldn't say we place all our ideas its just the pictures and profile text give the first impression. If you chat to people or meet them you can get a different impression over time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Swinger sites are like online shopping. You know what you want and so do a search for it, and that's it. Whereas clubs and parties are like going shopping - you see something different you like and you know you never would have found it on the web as you wouldn't have even thought to search for it."

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

THE reason I only meet at my local club now....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its works the other way aswell. you can get a proper look at someone in person and not try and piece a couple of pics of bodyparts together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with swingers sites is that we base nearly all of our ideas about people on the pictures they post on there profiles. Please don't misunderstand me, there has to be that attraction in the first place that is a given. But, how many times have you been to a swingers club and have come away having met people who normally you would not have given a second look thinking, really nice people and find yourself thinking that looks become less important. And on the Flip side people who you think look amazing on a profile and you get geared up to meet with high hopes etc etc only to find out that there looks really are only skin deep... I guess the question is, where do we each draw the line?"
im glad u post this because Iv had a sim thought how do u get ur personality across on sites like these ? , Iv only meet one couple of here in two years and there a lovely couple , I tend to have more look in clubs ! .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very good post, it is nigh on impossible to tell what people are going to be like from their profile text so your default position is to judge on looks. I try not to do it but do find it is easier in clubs and I find I have more success chatting and playing in clubs.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Couldn't agree more! We love the clubs so much easier to meet genuine people. Lots that are not on any of the site either. 85% of our play is at a club now. The sites are becoming such hard work to find the genuine people that we click with...

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By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

We love those slim self proclaimed gym bunnies who wink or message, ask for face pics or friend requests, then come back with "thanks for your pics but you're not for us, good luck with your search".

We remember one couple doing this and we said "Er hang on, we didn't ask for a date or anything else so there was no need for for your patronising attitude and anyway we don't have to search, check the pics and veris"

Needless to say they blocked us lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Swinger sites are like online shopping. You know what you want and so do a search for it, and that's it. Whereas clubs and parties are like going shopping - you see something different you like and you know you never would have found it on the web as you wouldn't have even thought to search for it."

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By *anGarCouple
over a year ago

Greenwich

The most important thing for us is a couple who can hold a full conversation and maybe meet regularly in and out of clubs. We are fortunate to have such a couple and very grateful too. Quality over Quantity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very well observed point. In the run of the mill dating world I have met people with high expectations only to find they had zero personality. And ones where I was half hearted about b4 meeting were

Great fun. Theres a lot of luck involved for sure.....

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

[Removed by poster at 17/01/14 17:53:02]

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

Keep an open mind when people contact you, overlooking their looks, class, size, colour etc you will find most people are really nice.

Setting yourselves a certain type must get boring after a while as the the fun of swinging is meeting all different types of people who enjoy naughty fun.

We prefer to make friends first with people & go from there, don't judge a book by its cover.

We remember once meeting a mature couple at an hotel, only speaking to them on the phone we didn't know what they looked like.

We saw this couple who dressed like our parents & thought "oh shit", not sure whether to turn around & go back out the door they spotted us & said hello.

Feeling bad for wanting to do a runner we went to their hotel room, the door shut & to our surprise the night turned out very different to what we had imagined...it was the best sex we ever experienced to this day.

As we said above don't judge a book by its cover guys.

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex


"The problem with swingers sites is that we base nearly all of our ideas about people on the pictures they post on there profiles. Please don't misunderstand me, there has to be that attraction in the first place that is a given. But, how many times have you been to a swingers club and have come away having met people who normally you would not have given a second look thinking, really nice people and find yourself thinking that looks become less important. And on the Flip side people who you think look amazing on a profile and you get geared up to meet with high hopes etc etc only to find out that there looks really are only skin deep... I guess the question is, where do we each draw the line? couldn't agree with more and a great post people do judge people on the way they look and like you say there has to be some kind of attraction..... You could be the best looking couple or person in the world but if you can't hold a conversation or have a sense of humour then it's not for us ... How can you judge that by a photo.... All well and good just meeting up for a fuck bit we like to chat for a a little while to see if there is some kind of spark ... Again great post "

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By *unknSoulCouple
over a year ago

Dumfriesish

Thank goodness. Was thinking it was just us.Have been struggling for a while with sorting meets through fab as we cant really get the get the feel of people from profile and pics or chatting. Yet when we go to clubs we see people and chat they are there in the flesh we find it a breeze .

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By *rummiePartyManMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Nearly 30 posts of general agreement with the OP....and has anyone changed the way they do things? Anyone written to a profile that isn't what they were looking for? Anyone replied to someone they wouldn't have before?

OR - anyone been to a club and told a person with a nice personality that their face is ugly and they don't want to talk to them any more

OR - will different approaches and standards continue forever no matter how much we wonder why?

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By *drenaline rushMan
over a year ago

Burnley


"The problem with swingers sites is that we base nearly all of our ideas about people on the pictures they post on there profiles. Please don't misunderstand me, there has to be that attraction in the first place that is a given. But, how many times have you been to a swingers club and have come away having met people who normally you would not have given a second look thinking, really nice people and find yourself thinking that looks become less important. And on the Flip side people who you think look amazing on a profile and you get geared up to meet with high hopes etc etc only to find out that there looks really are only skin deep... I guess the question is, where do we each draw the line?"

This is so true beauty is only skin deep so they say a good personality gues a long way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people can talk a good game look very nice but so up self it is off putting. But then even people with good manners are ignored as they are too nice? I never understand that.

Some people just go for looks and nothing ells then wonder why the people they meet are noobs.

The only way to get to know someone is to meet them and talk.

the internet is a place where you do not have to be your self after all.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

It's difficult not to make quick judgements on the basis of pics and the worst pics to judge by are selfies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great post OP!

Its amazing the number of times you end up having fun with those that wont meet certain ages, FB couples - or bi/curious folk (of both sexes!) - because you don't have your profile details on your forehead!

Certainly has been an eye opener over the last few years!

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