FabSwingers.com forum: The Elusive Bi Fem

By *orn_To_Perform OP Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Having met up with one of my female friends on here we discussed the topic of the Bi Fem.

We talked about how difficult it is to know whether a woman, be it in a couple or solo, is genuinely fully Bi or not.

A fairly large portion of profiles are listed as Bi or Bi-curious, particularly on couple profiles. I think it's hard to differentiate between women who are bi and really want sex with a woman and those that are 'willing to try/ do a bit'.

Neither of us felt that we wanted to be someone's experiment, particularly should it transpire that they don't like it, nor do we want to be used for amusement of them or the partner if it's not something the fem really wants to do.

I suspect it's easier with bi men because, with the stigma often attached to it, men wouldn't list themselves as bi if they weren't and would be more clear about it all to avoid a problem later.

Interested to hear about others experiences with or as Bi fems, in any formation!

MrsB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem I find is mainly only couples contact me, and it sounds obvious its only for a show for their partner, not down with that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/14 12:13:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Part of the reason that a few messages and a social meet before play is a good idea. Then you know. I always say I'm 'horny bi' I may play in the heat of things if I fancy it. So much easier if people are honest, but alas, a lot arn't.

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

"The problem I find is mainly only couples contact me, and it sounds obvious its only for a show for their partner, not down with that one

I suspect that's quite common. For us it's about the 3 of us having fun together, although I must admit that sometimes I sit back and watch Tina with another girl for a while because it's just so horny

But I soon join back in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a bi-fem. it's nice if my man gets involved. But is definately not a must. I play with ladies because I want to through choice! MINE!

Put on a show? Lol not a cat in hells chance. I do wonder how people can *pretend*? This must be blatantly obvious to all concerned parties.

and very uncomfortable!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a 'real' bisexual female I have no truck whatsoever with the 'bi-curious','bi-playful' females who inhabit this site.I agree wholeheartedly with the OP who finds that these females are only going along with the wishes of their male counterparts.Consequently my block list is as long as the Great Wall of China!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not everyone, but majority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, let me explain what I said more clearly. Where its all mainly about the man and its for his benefit.

There have been some nice couples where it hasn't been like this as I said above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a 'real' bisexual female I have no truck whatsoever with the 'bi-curious','bi-playful' females who inhabit this site.I agree wholeheartedly with the OP who finds that these females are only going along with the wishes of their male counterparts.Consequently my block list is as long as the Great Wall of China!"

I hope you don't mean all of us?

Not all bi curious females are doing it for the men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

surely how would a bi curious fem become 'fully bi' unless she is given the opportunity to experiment with someone?

is that not a catch 22, or would you rather she found herself with others, then came to you when she is ready to 'step up' and be a proper bisexual woman?

ridiculous.

V likes to kiss and play with women, she sometimes goes down, but it has to feel right, for her.

truthfully, i have seen her playing with a woman, and it is neither horny nor disgusting, just a sexual act that she enjoys in some way, shape or form, so it certainly ISNT for my sexual gratification.

i would much rather be licking her pussy than watching her do it to someone else.

prefer to watch her sucking cock anyway

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I've met couples where we have all been involved, never felt like I was just a 'toy' for them.

I am also willing to play with the curious, as everyone has to start somewhere!

So if your bi curious, bi playful or fully bi, I dont mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fully bi but i do know what you mean, as I've encountered a lot of people who just didn't know if it was for them and wanted to test the waters. Sure you can't know unless you try, but there's a place for that because most people will be understanding.

I'm fully bi and have been with a few women and love it! But there was a time I wasn't 100% sure it was me, and it's only due to nice friendly people that I came to my own conclusions on the matter. C x

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By *orn_To_Perform OP Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"surely how would a bi curious fem become 'fully bi' unless she is given the opportunity to experiment with someone?

is that not a catch 22, or would you rather she found herself with others, then came to you when she is ready to 'step up' and be a proper bisexual woman?

ridiculous"

I think my wording had been misinterpreted here, I put WILLING to do/ try and perhaps it wasn't clear that I was talking about people who are willing to as apposed to really wanting to.

No problem at all with someone bi curious/ looking for a first time experience just cautious that they have thought properly about whether they want to etc, purely to avoid an awkward situation (which I have previously encountered). No one wants to feel uncomfortable!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always like to play fem2fem to begin with alone.

Its much easier that way less pressure and you soon find out if the fem is Bi or just doing it for hubbys pleasure.

We don't exclude the guys they just join in when we invite them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"surely how would a bi curious fem become 'fully bi' unless she is given the opportunity to experiment with someone?

is that not a catch 22, or would you rather she found herself with others, then came to you when she is ready to 'step up' and be a proper bisexual woman?

ridiculous

I think my wording had been misinterpreted here, I put WILLING to do/ try and perhaps it wasn't clear that I was talking about people who are willing to as apposed to really wanting to.

absolutely not.

but surely, the situation would only be uncomfortable or awkward if the sole reason for a meet was for the girl girl thing?

V has had limited exposure to this side of things, sometimes it is a lot more than just kissing and touching, others its not much at all, but as this has never been the sole reason to meet others (even though that was our mindset when we started out) there was never any awkwardness, or if there were, i missed it, and being honest, im a bloke, so there is every chance lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It largely depends on situation, J is Bi, that is the only reason we swing T will join in if it feels right, or wander off and make the drinks or whatever, sometimes not even be in the building.

So on a meet we are not going to get anything out of it unless the female is really bi, for those wanting to try it out if we are in a club then J is happy to play with bi-curious, bi-playful bi-selfish or any other subcategory you wish to come up with, cos if it isn't for them then it's no problem just stop and move on.

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By *tmmCouple
over a year ago

harlow

"The problem I find is mainly only couples contact me, and it sounds obvious its only for a show for their partner, not down with that one

I'm a genuine bi-fem and was so prior to meeting hubby. But we get couples who message that are clearly only after me for the ff thing and she's just not that in to it its for his pleasure. I know we've got the age gap going against us but it's still not a ball we'll play with.

Equally although we'd love an ff meet ourselves we're not going to chase it and offend people in the process or have them think I'm bi because hubby has told me i am. When it's right it'll happen.

Rxxx

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By *abbithahWoman
over a year ago

redcar

I haven't ever "been with" a woman, but I am attracted to women and enjoy the idea of being with a woman.

I consider myself bi-curious but, like has been mentioned here, I don't know whether I would enjoy it actually played out because I've never done it. I wonder if I have been labelling myself wrong.

I certainly am not doing this for my partner though, and should I ever take it further, he would never be there or be informed of the ins and outs of what happened.

Not really contributing to the debate much here but reading with interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfectly labelled, interested & wondering = curious. You may one day try it, depending on how that goes you may re-label afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was never curious...I always knew and thought of myself as bisexual even before I was fully sexually active with either sex...I had dreams and fantasies about both genders from an early age...but I only ever wanted to be in relationships with men...

I have belonged to several adult sites not just swinging and have encountered many facets of "bi" women from those who shout about it purely because it gets them male attention, someone who admitted that although she was listed as bi, she had to get wasted to be able to bring herself to actually touch another woman, to several women, one in particular that I developed incredibly intense feelings for...

It's a rich and varied spectrum...we tend to avoid the profiles where the women have had no experience at all because like some have said in here already, I have no wish to have to take the lead or show someone the ins and outs so to speak...I know people have to start somewhere, it just isn't going to be with me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely bi fem here! Got over the 'curious' label over 20 years ago. Don't sleep with women for anybody else's gratification (yep I am that selfish) but my own. Won't be anybodies experiment (been there, done that) and prefer experienced bi fems (it really is all me me me lol). If a man/men want to join in then bonus!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having met up with one of my female friends on here we discussed the topic of the Bi Fem.

We talked about how difficult it is to know whether a woman, be it in a couple or solo, is genuinely fully Bi or not.

In answer to this question though, I can usually get a pretty good idea from the way they interact with me and my partner but the dead giveaway is when they kiss you...any woman who does that hideous pokey tongue porn lesbian kissing is going no further with me...kiss me like you mean it and we're in business...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't ever "been with" a woman, but I am attracted to women and enjoy the idea of being with a woman.

I consider myself bi-curious but, like has been mentioned here, I don't know whether I would enjoy it actually played out because I've never done it. I wonder if I have been labelling myself wrong.

I certainly am not doing this for my partner though, and should I ever take it further, he would never be there or be informed of the ins and outs of what happened.

Not really contributing to the debate much here but reading with interest. "

You sound sincere. All bi fems were curious at some point, then they tried it and found out if if they were bi or actually straight. Hope you find out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was bi-curious when I joined this site. Tried it, realised I wasn't, altered my sexuality back to straight. I genuinely was bi- curious.

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