FabSwingers.com forum: The Swingers Translation Guide!

By *tmm OP Couple
over a year ago

harlow

So hubby and I have just had a bite to eat and been having a laugh translating some of the phrases and words we've seen in the swinging world! I know there was a post like this before but I can't find

So please feel free to add your own.

And remember! Don't be offended!!! It's a joke! :D

Single Guys

Available Now! - Quick wife will be home in 20mins

Available Now! - Quick whilst I have a hard on! I only get one once a year!

VWE - Never showered at school with the other guys.

Bi-curious - Have had no interest from females, now thinking I might have luck with guys.

Bisexual - been on here two years now. Still no meet.

Joined over a year ago - profile still says "I'm new here. Fill in later."

Multiple cock pics - my face aint all that or you know me.

Looking for couple - Some one show what I'm meant to do!!

Can make women squirt - well that or the last one pissed on me.

Looking for group meet - maybe I can hide in the background.

6ft 3" - Oh you only want guys under 6ft? I'm 5ft 9"... if I crawl....

Single Girls

I'm bi - unicorn

I can accomodate - unicorn

I can travel - unicorn

I can deep throat - unicorn

I like anal - unicorn

I have a younger fitter friend who wants to join us - unicorn

Couples

Discrete couple - you don't want to see our pictures

Fem is bi - Husband told her so

Fem on Fem - husband doesn't know what hes doing

Same room swap - I want to take notes!

Separate swap - I don't want to see what I'm missing!

Profile Descriptions

Athletic - Finished Weight Watchers

Slim - Member of Weight Watchers

Average - actually? This is probably true!

Curvy - Should have clicked fabulous...

Fabulous - WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN????

Hope this made some of you laugh!

Go on add your own!

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By *uestandpinkCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Omg...there loads lol....close up pics of a foot or boob.......either very fat or a proper minger

No pics or veri after a year....fakes or pic collectors orgood story tellers lol

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By *RYBBWCouple
over a year ago

Leeds.

Most genuine single male on fab - Married timewaster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Least there are no longer any verifications by phone - talk about encouraging time wasters

Remember that ? Over year profile no pics but 1 phone veri !!

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Hahaha, I'm a weight-watching minging unicorn

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By *tmm OP Couple
over a year ago

harlow

"Hahaha, I'm a weight-watching minging unicorn

Lol!!! Glad you took it the way its meant :D

R xxx

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

Males:

Heavy cummer - well I am, when I haven't been wanking on here all day.

Repeater - if we can meet again?

Would love to meet an older woman - young, very young.

Happy to travel - wife could walk in on us otherwise

Just a normal guy - anything but!

BBC - can you show me your TV licence?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

'never quite sure what to write in these' = none of the numerous profiles have resulted in any luck & I will be vague, so I can pretend I like what you like & Im not very interesting and find thinking hard & perhaps you could complete my sex education for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'never quite sure what to write in these' = none of the numerous profiles have resulted in any luck & I will be vague, so I can pretend I like what you like & Im not very interesting and find thinking hard & perhaps you could complete my sex education for me. "

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"So hubby and I have just had a bite to eat and been having a laugh translating some of the phrases and words we've seen in the swinging world! I know there was a post like this before but I can't find

So please feel free to add your own.

And remember! Don't be offended!!! It's a joke! :D

Single Guys

Available Now! - Quick wife will be home in 20mins

Available Now! - Quick whilst I have a hard on! I only get one once a year!

VWE - Never showered at school with the other guys.

Bi-curious - Have had no interest from females, now thinking I might have luck with guys.

Bisexual - been on here two years now. Still no meet.

No offence to anyone but that progression made me howl with laughter!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I'm shy" = "you do all the work"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Professional and discreet couple =

Rich fuck buddies married to other people who have no clue that their hubby/wife swing behind their backs. Are shit scared that if they get rumbled they will loose the 4 bed house, Merc, Ferrari, Soft Top Mini Cooper (the runaround) and 3 race horses aswell as the holiday home in Spain!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a triple unicorn who should have clicked fabulous!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good looking, fit couple - normal looking, unfit couple who have started to believe the hype

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will try anything once, looks unimportant, age unimportant, open minded = truly fukin desperate for a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couple with comfortable lifestyle = extra wide front door to get our heads through. Will leave the Porsche boxter on the drive if we know you are coming over. P.s. Bring a bottle of plonk as we are maxed-out on the credit cards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single guy

"Looking to meet later, open to offers"

I am up for playing bi but I don't want to admit that on my profile.

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By *tmm OP Couple
over a year ago

harlow

Awww you guys are amazing!!! Actually crying with laughter!!!

R xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit.....I'm a fabulous unicorn that's a minger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love to be able to join in but cant think of one! The ones already listed are bril though! Boo x

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By *otTheReal01Man
over a year ago

London

Single Guy:

Straight - like to suck cocks but don't want to ruin my chances with straight couples and females by saying so on my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most genuine single male on fab - Married timewaster."

Most supercilious self important person on here - some couples

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

Fussy - stuck up

Daytime meets only - married, spouse unaware

10 inch cock - 6 inch cock (I hope lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bi-curious = curious as to exactly why I quite like it up the pooper

Gym fit = no mates or social life, unexplained kebab phobia

Sub / dom switch = undiagnosed bipolar disorder

Can accommodate = don't realise I live in a dump

Can't accommodate = readily admit I live in a dump

Cleanliness expected = OCD

Safe sex only = with you cos you are minging, everybody else bareback

Looks unimportant = can my guide dog lick your arse while we fuck?

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By *immy AndrexCouple
over a year ago

OLDHAM

What a nice refreshing change, people with a sense of humour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking for 18 - 99. Couldn't be bothered to make a good profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gym fit = steroid addict, are you looking at me???

Alternative lifestyle = live in cesspit

Can travel = desperate

Can't travel = convicted drink driver

9" cock = contact lenses in the wrong way again

VVWE = dyslexic

Likes bareback = banned from Boots the chemist for shoplifting

Swings both ways = course you do......it's a fukin swing you dozy bastard. If it didn't it would be a fukin catapult!

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By *tmm OP Couple
over a year ago

harlow

Likes bareback = banned from Boots the chemist for shoplifting"

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