FabSwingers.com forum: The demasculation of MEN thread!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I cant be a militant feminist because I totally agree with you.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said Littlekitten, lets celebrate by you jumping into my arms and the pair of us slowly spinning

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well said Littlekitten, lets celebrate by you jumping into my arms and the pair of us slowly spinning

Lol! !! You plonker Rodney! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LOL .......funniest thread I've read for ages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well said Littlekitten, lets celebrate by you jumping into my arms and the pair of us slowly spinning

Lol! !! You plonker Rodney! Lol"

Is that not classically masculine enough for you?

I can grow a moustache?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm all for the re-masculisation of men....count me in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree... There is something nice about the man protecting you, and doing all those things. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"LOL .......funniest thread I've read for ages

Why funny?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm quite effeminate some say..I'm slim and short, but no hassles pounding yer pie

see..thats the bad boy talking in me...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well said Littlekitten, lets celebrate by you jumping into my arms and the pair of us slowly spinning

Lol! !! You plonker Rodney! Lol

Is that not classically masculine enough for you?

I can grow a moustache?"

Lol...nah...you are perfect as you are!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm quite effeminate some say..I'm slim and short, but no hassles pounding yer pie

see..thats the bad boy talking in me...

Pounding my. ...????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like being protected

I must admit I do offer to pay my way but find that the offer is declined, they tend to say that offering is good enough.

If a guy offers me a seat or opens doors I accept, the only thing I don't like is when they try to take any heavy lifting etc off me, I am not a delicate flower.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very nice and I often allow the man to pay, open doors etc but I don't need protecting, to me that is going back to the age when women stayed at home and men went to work. I have on one occasion treated a gentleman to a drink but that was to make up for missing a meet we had arranged the week before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

Equal opportunities and pc brigade stopped all that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like being protected

I must admit I do offer to pay my way but find that the offer is declined, they tend to say that offering is good enough.

If a guy offers me a seat or opens doors I accept, the only thing I don't like is when they try to take any heavy lifting etc off me, I am not a delicate flower."

Um.....but you ARE! Its a compliment to you! You are a beautiful woman! They want to carry your bags...not because you are incapable (except for me as I am a weakling!) but because they want to do that for you! Why take it as a negative thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did I miss something or has being a man changed? I have to agree with the OP, however I like the fact that stereotypes have been broken down now and women and men can interchange roles when mutually agreeable. Mutuality is the important difference for me from my my parents' generation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"LOL .......funniest thread I've read for ages

Why funny?????"

" why aren't there any real men " I am my own man , no body tells me what I should be ,that's my decision .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could set feminism back 30 yr or so!! But like the gentleman to have a dark filthy side once he has opened the bedroom door for me!! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

Equal opportunities and pc brigade stopped all that"

Well I am afraid that I am not a fan....so everyone shout me down but its done more damage than good. It isnt about not being equal. NOONE is equal! We are all different and yes...I am sorry but men and women ARE different. We bring different gifts to the table and all are wonderful when they compliment eachother and we stop competing for first place all the time. When some women realise they dont have to be aggressive and act like a man to be successful then they will have the greater prize!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"LOL .......funniest thread I've read for ages

Why funny?????

" why aren't there any real men " I am my own man , no body tells me what I should be ,that's my decision . "

Nobody is telling you what you should be just a shortage of what the op and many other women would class as a "proper man"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well I cant be a militant feminist because I totally agree with you.x"

Good for you! We will start a club! Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm quite effeminate some say..I'm slim and short, but no hassles pounding yer pie

see..thats the bad boy talking in me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"LOL .......funniest thread I've read for ages

Why funny?????

" why aren't there any real men " I am my own man , no body tells me what I should be ,that's my decision . "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like being protected

I must admit I do offer to pay my way but find that the offer is declined, they tend to say that offering is good enough.

If a guy offers me a seat or opens doors I accept, the only thing I don't like is when they try to take any heavy lifting etc off me, I am not a delicate flower.

I'm an independent person as I've had to be, I guess I like to retain some of that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's very nice and I often allow the man to pay, open doors etc but I don't need protecting, to me that is going back to the age when women stayed at home and men went to work. I have on one occasion treated a gentleman to a drink but that was to make up for missing a meet we had arranged the week before"

The point isn't really about who pays etc....its about recognising the gift of being a woman and how POWERFUL that is!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like being protected

I must admit I do offer to pay my way but find that the offer is declined, they tend to say that offering is good enough.

If a guy offers me a seat or opens doors I accept, the only thing I don't like is when they try to take any heavy lifting etc off me, I am not a delicate flower.

I'm an independent person as I've had to be, I guess I like to retain some of that.

So am I! But I think some are too fearful of letting anyone help them and I do understand that fear! But sometimes letting go and being 'a little bit' vulnerable instead of having a wall up is very beautiful!

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By *irtyAndCh33kyCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

I don't need a man to make me feel womanly, confident or special!

Opening doors, going dutch etc are just good manners and should be done irrelevant of gender.

I'm in a relationship as an equal partner and it's about give and take

Mrs Dirty

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"LOL .......funniest thread I've read for ages

Why funny?????

" why aren't there any real men " I am my own man , no body tells me what I should be ,that's my decision . "

Well good for you! But trust me...a lot of women ask the question. I also hear a lot of men say they are afraid to open a door for a lady or offer a seat on a train etc...because they have had their head bitten off for just being a gentleman. So a lot dont bother now. Sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't need a man to make me feel womanly, confident or special!

Opening doors, going dutch etc are just good manners and should be done irrelevant of gender.

I'm in a relationship as an equal partner and it's about give and take

Mrs Dirty "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't need a man to make me feel womanly, confident or special!

Opening doors, going dutch etc are just good manners and should be done irrelevant of gender.

I'm in a relationship as an equal partner and it's about give and take

Mrs Dirty "

I dont disagree with it being give and take...of course! Though....if I had a pound for every woman who said they dont need a man to mske them feel beautiful. ...hmmmmm......well the words sound good and if you really believe it then good for you but the beauty industry, sexy lingerie, etc.....would be very very poor if we the opinions of the opposite sex made no difference whatsoever to how we felt about ourselves. I woukd LOVE to say...I dont care.....but I do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like it when people write on their profile 'looking for a real man'. Erm, what's that?

...i like to carry their bags, open the door and just generally look after someone. Be they male or female. It's just the kind of person i am.

I don't do all that because i think that they are weak or that they need protecting. I think that's silly if people think that. Especially, if people think it means we're going back. Daft that is (my opinion).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't need a man to make me feel womanly, confident or special!

Opening doors, going dutch etc are just good manners and should be done irrelevant of gender.

I'm in a relationship as an equal partner and it's about give and take

Mrs Dirty

did u just say POUND?....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be afraid to admit that sometimes, you need us, just as we need you x

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By *abrina59TV/TS
over a year ago

submissive land

I agree let men be men lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did I miss something or has being a man changed? I have to agree with the OP, however I like the fact that stereotypes have been broken down now and women and men can interchange roles when mutually agreeable. Mutuality is the important difference for me from my my parents' generation. "

I agree. But we can still retain the beauty of who we are intrinsically can't we? One of my very good friends is a senior exec on the board of a very male orientated industry but she isn't aggressive. She is very professional but also extremely feminine and gracious. The men respect her hugely. She is excellent at her job but she doesnt try to behave like a man in order to do it. She respects the men and allows them to be themselves

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By *irtyAndCh33kyCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

I'm attracted to the person and not their gender....so no I really don't need a man to make me feel attractive.

The beauty industry does make it's money by trying to convince us that we 'need' to make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex and if that's what you feel you need to do then that's fine.

Personally I dress for myself

Mrs Dirty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"LOL .......funniest thread I've read for ages

Why funny?????

" why aren't there any real men " I am my own man , no body tells me what I should be ,that's my decision .

it is sad , but I don't care what others think , i still open doors for ladies , I still get off my seat ona train or bus to let a lady sit , I still pull a chair out for a lady before I sit to eat , I still offer my coat to a lady that's obviously cold , and I still open car doers for a lady . But tell me how I should live my life , how I should dress , what I should say and do , then don't bother .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I could set feminism back 30 yr or so!! But like the gentleman to have a dark filthy side once he has opened the bedroom door for me!! X"

Think we like the same men then!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I like to feel protected and a man be a man...I like to feel wanted and desired by a man...it's a wonderful feeling

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"LOL .......funniest thread I've read for ages

Why funny?????

" why aren't there any real men " I am my own man , no body tells me what I should be ,that's my decision .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't be afraid to admit that sometimes, you need us, just as we need you x"

Exactly! !! Its not about being weak or feeble or delicate even though we may all be those things at times. But to maybe allow eachother to do those things because they WANT to...not because it indicates I couldn't do it if I had to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm attracted to the person and not their gender....so no I really don't need a man to make me feel attractive.

The beauty industry does make it's money by trying to convince us that we 'need' to make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex and if that's what you feel you need to do then that's fine.

Personally I dress for myself

Mrs Dirty "

Well good for you then. I dress for myself too. But I also LOVE to dress for him!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/01/14 00:51:19]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"LOL .......funniest thread I've read for ages

Why funny?????

" why aren't there any real men " I am my own man , no body tells me what I should be ,that's my decision .

I think thats great that you do those things but not sure where you picked up in the thread that anyone was telling you how to live your life though? ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Myself and my female friends like all that opening doors and paying for stuff. I think that real men exist nowdays more than ever before. Years ago most men opened a door for you but behind the closed door they were sexist righteous pricks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wasnt, just stating my opinion that's all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't need a man to make me feel womanly, confident or special!

Opening doors, going dutch etc are just good manners and should be done irrelevant of gender.

I'm in a relationship as an equal partner and it's about give and take

Mrs Dirty

did u just say POUND?....

You...are just a naughty boy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So the empowerment of women = the emasculation of men? Seriously?

I personally prefer strong independent women.

A man can still be a gentleman, and a woman can still feel womanly and confident without having a man act out pointless ceremonies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All to often Men end up being ridiculed for doing such things because feminism and the PC brigade has left us thinking that they should be!

But there shouldn't be anything wrong with being a gentleman; which lets face it most of these acts are a demonstration of; I do open doors, pull out chairs, offer my coat in cold etc and will always do so ... it's just a shame that it can't be accepted graciously all the time and guys like myself can end up being made to feel uncomfortable for being a gentleman and dare I say it "a nice guy"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So the empowerment of women = the emasculation of men? Seriously?

I personally prefer strong independent women.

A man can still be a gentleman, and a woman can still feel womanly and confident without having a man act out pointless ceremonies."

Not quite what you mean by pointless ceremonies but each to their own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All to often Men end up being ridiculed for doing such things because feminism and the PC brigade has left us thinking that they should be!

Nothing wrong with being a gentleman but some of the things you describe are just good manners whether you are male or female.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

back after 19mins of masturbating after being called a naughty boy...phoooaaarrrrrrr xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am."

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All to often Men end up being ridiculed for doing such things because feminism and the PC brigade has left us thinking that they should be!

I agree!

I am also an independent career woman who holds a position of big responsibility . I have no intention of giving that up.

But...that isn't at the expense of being comfortable being a woman and letting a man....be a man!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x"

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

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By *icple123Couple
over a year ago

st albans

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"back after 19mins of masturbating after being called a naughty boy...phoooaaarrrrrrr xxx

Lol....I think we will have to create you a special catagory all on your own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aw x that's so nice x I long for it x

But my circs are I have to run the show x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol"

Isn't he just.

I understand what you are saying and I'm sure some women do want this 'real man' thing but it's just not for me. Yes men should have good manners and I'd like to be treated with respect, I'd offer to pay for dinner or go half, would never expect a man to pay for me, not ever, if they insisted then yes it's ok and I'd suggest we go for drinks - my round.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with being a gentleman but some of the things you describe are just good manners whether you are male or female."

I can agree with the fact it is good manners ... but a man should be able to do it without being ridiculed for doing so as it is me being sexist and infringing on a woman's independence?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All to often Men end up being ridiculed for doing such things because feminism and the PC brigade has left us thinking that they should be!

Nothing wrong with being a gentleman but some of the things you describe are just good manners whether you are male or female."

You are right! But the problem is that when SOME men hold the door or give up their seat (just examples) SOME women interpret that to mean they are incapable, feeble, weak etc...when in fact they are, as you say, just being polite! But SOME women are so defensive of any kind act by a man! If I were to hold the door, she would smile and say thank you but when a man does it...she thinks he sees her as somehow inferior! I am taking from my own direct experiences .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lord knows how I went from 3rd person to 1st person in same sentence

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with being a gentleman but some of the things you describe are just good manners whether you are male or female.

I can agree with the fact it is good manners ... but a man should be able to do it without being ridiculed for doing so as it is me being sexist and infringing on a woman's independence?"

Which is my point......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with being a gentleman but some of the things you describe are just good manners whether you are male or female.

I can agree with the fact it is good manners ... but a man should be able to do it without being ridiculed for doing so as it is me being sexist and infringing on a woman's independence?"

I would never ridicule a man for doing something I deem to be polite.

What I hate more than anything is being patronised

"oh are you sure you don't want the 2kg weight"

"Careful love, my Bergen is pretty heavy" said to me in Arizona, with me minutes later picking it up fairly easily and throwing it in the hold.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which is my point......"

Touche

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

Isn't he just.

Understand that in none of the sweeter things I say, is their any element of superiority or condescendence - I honestly compliment women who possess qualities that I find attractive, and strength, both in and out, is amongst the most appealing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

Isn't he just.

I respect your experience in the military would make it difficult to reliniquish any responsibility to another, when you are unused to that. ...I suspect gender doesn't even apply here..... but sometimes I need a man and sometimes a man needs a woman......for more than just sex!

I don't 'expect' anything. It isnt about expectation. ..but something more basic than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could set feminism back 30 yr or so!! But like the gentleman to have a dark filthy side once he has opened the bedroom door for me!! X"
oh so do i

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the empowerment of women = the emasculation of men? Seriously?

I personally prefer strong independent women.

A man can still be a gentleman, and a woman can still feel womanly and confident without having a man act out pointless ceremonies.

Not quite what you mean by pointless ceremonies but each to their own!"

My point is, all those chivalrous acts that you’ve mentioned are superficial. I understand why you might appreciate them, but I don’t believe they should matter to any woman.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

Isn't he just.

Sexybrain. ....anyone would think you were trying to get in her knickers! Keep that up and you might just succeed! Lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so technically speaking if I held your backdoor open OP, and let others enter...I would be terribly polite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

Isn't he just.

I am a strong independent woman but I still appreciate the gentlemanly gestures. I dont think they are mutually exclusive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

Isn't he just.

I don't 'expect' anything. It isnt about expectation. ..but something more basic than that. "

Thanks, I grew up in military and joined myself so yes have always been this way. I do find it difficult, do I see it as a sign of weakness though by letting a man do these things? No I don't, I just don't want or need a man to do anything like that for me - to me that would be like being back in the 50s, being the little wifey at home unable to do anything or think for themselves - that's not saying women who like men like this are in anyway 50s women but that's just me and how I'd feel.

I too am a career woman and the men are men. However at work I'm an equal and don't expect to be treated any differently because I'm a woman.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"so technically speaking if I held your backdoor open OP, and let others enter...I would be terribly polite

You are going to get a spank in a minute! Now go and sit on the naughty step until you have learnt to behave! Naughty boy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Understand that in none of the sweeter things I say, is their any element of superiority or condescendence - I honestly compliment women who possess qualities that I find attractive, and strength, both in and out, is amongst the most appealing.

Sexybrain. ....anyone would think you were trying to get in her knickers! Keep that up and you might just succeed! Lol x"

I'm simply being honest, whether or not that appeals to her, is for her to decide x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

Isn't he just.

I don't 'expect' anything. It isnt about expectation. ..but something more basic than that.

I too am a career woman and the men are men. However at work I'm an equal and don't expect to be treated any differently because I'm a woman."

But what if he WANTS to pay for that meal that you describe. ..not because you cant or wont but because he wants to do that. ...is it not gracious to accept the kind offer? If he wants to help you with the heavy bags...well of course you can do it yourself...but he wants to help you! If he wants to...let him! You are indeed a very capable, strong and independent woman who doesnt need to prove anything. So let someone do that FOR you once in a while? Not because you CANT or that he thinks you are too weak but simply because it makes him happy to do it for you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sexybrain. ....anyone would think you were trying to get in her knickers! Keep that up and you might just succeed! Lol x

I'm simply being honest, whether or not that appeals to her, is for her to decide x"

Yep...you scored! Lol...just teasing.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

Isn't he just.

I don't 'expect' anything. It isnt about expectation. ..but something more basic than that.

I too am a career woman and the men are men. However at work I'm an equal and don't expect to be treated any differently because I'm a woman.

Oh yes I can let someone pay for dinner if they insist and I mean I just about accept that but the rest I just can't, I don't have it in me to be that kind of woman, it wouldn't feel right, I wouldn't like it and I couldn't let someone do something for me just because it makes THEM happy.

My own happiness will always come first and I wouldn't be happy letting someone do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

It's the water, so many woman take HRT, and then pee it into the water system, men are losing their masculinity through drinking estrogen on a daily basis, your much better drinking boiled water, if you want to stay butch, active and not develop breasts, For many transsexuals, its the best thing that ever happened, saves them a fortune on medication.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have a busy responsible career in which everyone has to pull their weight whether they are male or female. But I still retain...that on the whole...we still need eachother. Men need us as we need them. Putting up defensive walls and argument for the sake of it just because we don't want anyone to think we are weak doesn't make sense to me.

If you are truly strong and have a strong sense of your own identity then you are not fearful of what others think. So if he offers me his seat on a busy train....I could get indignant and say he is only doing that because he thinks I am a feeble woman OR I could smile..say thankyou and accept. I am no less strong and my independence hasn't been eroded in that moment. I am the same strong confident woman I was before...but just a tad more comfy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh yes I can let someone pay for dinner if they insist and I mean I just about accept that but the rest I just can't, I don't have it in me to be that kind of woman, it wouldn't feel right, I wouldn't like it and I couldn't let someone do something for me just because it makes THEM happy.

My own happiness will always come first and I wouldn't be happy letting someone do that."

Fuck it, you can carry my bag then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes please can we have the real men back?

The type who expect to be served, dictate their wive's opinions, decide how to spend the family money, chastise the kids, go out with the lads, wouldn't dream of doing housework, are breadwinners, beat up their wives, feel entitled to on demand sex etc etc etc....

NOT!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is everyone dissing feminism like it's a bad thing, maybe try doing a little research into the subject instead of writing it off as a load of nonsense.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

Isn't he just.

I don't 'expect' anything. It isnt about expectation. ..but something more basic than that.

I too am a career woman and the men are men. However at work I'm an equal and don't expect to be treated any differently because I'm a woman.

My own happiness will always come first and I wouldn't be happy letting someone do that."

Aww bless you. I bet you are the loveliest lady but they are doing it because they think it will make YOU happy. ...clearly you say it wont but nevertheless. ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why is everyone dissing feminism like it's a bad thing, maybe try doing a little research into the subject instead of writing it off as a load of nonsense. "

I am not writing anything off as a load of nonsense and actually we were all having a friendly discussion thankyou. You are welcome to contribute your _iews.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love when women act like women so I would assume it works the other way about. Honestly no better feeling than protecting a girl and spoiling her etc. 1 thing I do miss when I'm single

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My own happiness will always come first and I wouldn't be happy letting someone do that.

Fuck it, you can carry my bag then. "

Lol!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes please can we have the real men back?

NOT!

Amazing how you have made such a jump in the conversation. ...

I havent read that anywhere yet..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a busy responsible career in which everyone has to pull their weight whether they are male or female. But I still retain...that on the whole...we still need eachother. Men need us as we need them. Putting up defensive walls and argument for the sake of it just because we don't want anyone to think we are weak doesn't make sense to me.

Do we need each other as much as you say? I am single, I manage my own home, I do my own garden, I put up shelves and do other DIY, jobs that would be typically down to a man, do I need a man to do that? No I don't. So I don't agree that we NEED each other, yes it's nice to have someone about but it's not out of a need of not being able to do things for myself.

I don't have defensive walls and it's not an argument for the sake of it, it's something I feel strongly about.

No I don't care what others think, I AM strong. As I said before I do what makes me feel happy and comfortable, not what makes men or other people feel better.

I'm not a damsel in distress and nor will I ever be, I don't need saving or protecting. I can look after myself.

That's not to say a relationship/man about isn't nice, it is but on the provision that we are equals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes please can we have the real men back?

NOT!

don't recall OP or anyone else mentioning any of this ... did I miss a post?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

Isn't he just.

I don't 'expect' anything. It isnt about expectation. ..but something more basic than that.

I too am a career woman and the men are men. However at work I'm an equal and don't expect to be treated any differently because I'm a woman.

My own happiness will always come first and I wouldn't be happy letting someone do that.

Aww bless you. I bet you are the loveliest lady but they are doing it because they think it will make YOU happy. ...clearly you say it wont but nevertheless. .."

Well any man who knows me knows this wouldn't make me happy at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love when women act like women so I would assume it works the other way about. Honestly no better feeling than protecting a girl and spoiling her etc. 1 thing I do miss when I'm single

Amen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't have defensive walls and it's not an argument for the sake of it, it's something I feel strongly about.

No I don't care what others think, I AM strong. As I said before I do what makes me feel happy and comfortable, not what makes men or other people feel better.

I'm not a damsel in distress and nor will I ever be, I don't need saving or protecting. I can look after myself.

That's not to say a relationship/man about isn't nice, it is but on the provision that we are equals."

Ok. I hear your passion and the strength of your feelings on the subject. I do. I respect your _iews truly. But I have equal passion for my beliefs too. So yes...personally speaking. ..I think we DO need eachother ....in lots of ways and not simply the everyday stuff. I consider myself to be 'equal' in every relationship I have had....but perhaps our definitions of what that means are different.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

And you sound all the lovelier for it x

You are a smoothie to the ladies! Lol

Isn't he just.

I don't 'expect' anything. It isnt about expectation. ..but something more basic than that.

I too am a career woman and the men are men. However at work I'm an equal and don't expect to be treated any differently because I'm a woman.

My own happiness will always come first and I wouldn't be happy letting someone do that.

Aww bless you. I bet you are the loveliest lady but they are doing it because they think it will make YOU happy. ...clearly you say it wont but nevertheless. ..

Well any man who knows me knows this wouldn't make me happy at all

Fair enough

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

Equal opportunities and pc brigade stopped all that

For the last part I think your wrong if you are talking about professionally successful. I work in a very female dominated profession yet approx 95% of management are male so without being a little aggressive and being able to hold ones own in a male dominated hierarchy you have no chance of making it up the ranks!!

As for opening doors/buying drinks etc that's just good manners and I would expect that from either a male or a female the same as I hold doors open/buy a drink for others irrespective of their gender. It's not about equal rights or emasculation of men it's simple respect!!

And I personally don't need to be 'protected' by a man I'm very independent and can look after myself however it does not make me any less feminine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do respect your _iews though and that's good to see in a thread like this - 2 sides of the coin.

It's great you have such strong _iews on the subject as do I

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well.....obviously when I posted the thread I knew it would be a highly contentious one and I was ready for that.

I would like to thank everyone for their input. Personally I quite enjoyed the chat! Even if we don't all agree...the majority were able to put their points across in a friendly amicable way so thankyou!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

Equal opportunities and pc brigade stopped all that

And I personally don't need to be 'protected' by a man I'm very independent and can look after myself however it does not make me any less feminine

Totally agree, it is such a slippery slope that women continue to play the 1950s role of submissive, feminine, needy of protection kind of female. Things then soon escalate into the abusive relationships that I described above as there isn't a balance of power.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no one is suggesting that there is no balance ... nor has there been a suggestion of allowing an abusive relationship to form ... fail to see how offering to open up a door, or helping carry something heavy leads to an abusive relationship

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

Equal opportunities and pc brigade stopped all that

And I personally don't need to be 'protected' by a man I'm very independent and can look after myself however it does not make me any less feminine

I do work in an environment very similar to that which you describe with an overly male dominated senior management team. I am one of the few women in that team and whilst I accept you will disagree, it IS my strong opinion that being agressive and acting like a man is NOT the only way. There are many examples of women at the top...running highly successful businesses but doing so without the need to adopt an aggressive and masculine approach. Its much much more than that and when more women recognise their own innate power rather than adopting that of their male counterparts , some...in my experience, would have been a lot more successful!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

Equal opportunities and pc brigade stopped all that

And I personally don't need to be 'protected' by a man I'm very independent and can look after myself however it does not make me any less feminine

Then maybe I am just one of the lucky ones then. For I have a thriving and successful career where I hold a very senior position yet I have managed to do that whilst being true to my own values as a feminine woman. I have certainly not been the downtrodden wifey at home. I have obviously been very fortunate not to have ever experienced an abusive relationship. On the contrary, I have been lucky to have known some wonderful men over the years.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

In most of those kind of ways I agree.

I've unloaded enough tons of hay to know I *CAN* - damn straight I'd rather let some nice chap do it for me though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can agree with the going up the ranks as a female.

I tried the friendly female feminine way which didn't work, the males didn't see me as equal however as time progressed and I used more assertive, maybe a little aggressive tactics, I soon got the respect and recognition from them.

Not all men like or want the women to be all helpless and mild mannered.

Outside of work I once told a colleague (same level) that I thought he was a complete and utter knob who treated his team like shit. He actually told me that my saying that to him made him take note and respect me as i had the balls to tell him straight what I thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

Equal opportunities and pc brigade stopped all that

And I personally don't need to be 'protected' by a man I'm very independent and can look after myself however it does not make me any less feminine

I'm also lucky, haven't been in an abusive relationship. I still have values and I am a feminine woman but there have been times I have to crank things up to get things done - that's just how it's been for me.

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By *ookn4thirdCouple
over a year ago

Ashland

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love to meet a guy that treats me like a princess and open doors for me, think sometimes when you're independent though you don't attract them if you understand what I mean,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can agree with the going up the ranks as a female.

Not all men like or want the women to be all helpless and mild mannered.

Oh please don't misunderstand me...I am not suggesting for one second that women should act helpless! Not at all! But there are many ways to achieve a successful outcome

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd love to meet a guy that treats me like a princess and open doors for me, think sometimes when you're independent though you don't attract them if you understand what I mean, "

I dont think you need or should give up who you are. You are a strong independent woman. So be proud of that. What I am talking about is retaining who you are as a woman without the need to behave like a man...which I am sure you dont..... but also not feel the need to demasculate a man either. I think some get that and some dont.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

In most of those kind of ways I agree.

I've unloaded enough tons of hay to know I *CAN* - damn straight I'd rather let some nice chap do it for me though!

Smart woman! Lol! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like being a mans man, hunting, fish, using tools, saving live, running into burning building, drive old mussel car I build, and make a home for my family is the one thing that gives me the most pride of being a man. Also the fact the miss likes to share her mans man with other women cause she feel safe in the knowledge I would kill anyone that hurt her or our family with out pause.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am."

This is me (minus the military bit) but because of this, when I meet a man for pleasure I love to feel taken care of. Its an amazing feeling especially in contrast to me in ball busting bitch mode at work!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry but I completely disagree with you there. Abusive relationships exist because some people (male and female) have an abusive nature. I've seen strong independent women be broken through years of systematic emotional abuse. On the other hand, I've seen couples who maintain the traditional male/female roles and are blissfully happy because they both appreciate the different qualities they bring to the relationship.

The key is to be yourself and find someone you are compatible with and respect, in whatever form that relationship takes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

I think is the most pertinent post on here.

I like strong independent women, focussed, intelligent, driven, but when it comes to being close and intimate, i want my lady to know she feels respected wanted needed and safe.

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By *bbandflowCouple
over a year ago

South Devon

Sorry, but things have moved on from Barbara Cartland ..being a real man is a much, much, more complex thing than performing superficial social niceities.

Some of the most controlling, bullying men I have known have only been too happy to be 'gentlemen' in social surroundings.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

[Removed by poster at 05/01/14 07:08:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes please can we have the real men back?

NOT!

That's not a man. That's a right bastard!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to feel protected and a man be a man...I like to feel wanted and desired by a man...it's a wonderful feeling "

This is exactly how I like to be treated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to feel protected and a man be a man...I like to feel wanted and desired by a man...it's a wonderful feeling

This is exactly how I like to be treated "

And personally i think thats how it should be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my experience over the years there has definetly been a change the older generation are still happy and indeed suprised if i say hold a door open or offer my seat or help carry stuff if overloaded.

Fact folk are suprised is to me a worrying sign of the selfish attitude nowadays.

At one time you could pay a lady a compliment and i still do if someone has say nice perfume on if appropriate i will ask what it is as it smells nice sometimes you woild tbink i was soeaking in foreign language as folk are not used to compliments.

The younger generation do in my _iew seem to be imoroving manners and this probably good parenting.

Sadly my generation and i class this as 40 to 50 ish are group with biggest problem attitude wise to chaps offering help etc and it is indeed sad that this is the case.

I know not all have this outlook but this _iew is based on just my experiences over the yesrs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with being a gentleman but some of the things you describe are just good manners whether you are male or female.

I can agree with the fact it is good manners ... but a man should be able to do it without being ridiculed for doing so as it is me being sexist and infringing on a woman's independence?"

Do women ridicule you for opening doors etc......I do the same for older people, pregnant women, family's on trains......I've yet to be ridiculed x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The key is to be yourself and find someone you are compatible with and respect, in whatever form that relationship takes."

Exactly right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

I think is the most pertinent post on here.

I like strong independent women, focussed, intelligent, driven, but when it comes to being close and intimate, i want my lady to know she feels respected wanted needed and safe."

I think a woman can acknowledge those but I would however want to know within that that I could take the lead in sex ie make the first move, sit on top etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

I think is the most pertinent post on here.

I like strong independent women, focussed, intelligent, driven, but when it comes to being close and intimate, i want my lady to know she feels respected wanted needed and safe.

I think a woman can acknowledge those but I would however want to know within that that I could take the lead in sex ie make the first move, sit on top etc"

Oh my word that gores without saying, its the sense of safety that would allow you do as you please sexually x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like it when people write on their profile 'looking for a real man'. Erm, what's that?

...i like to carry their bags, open the door and just generally look after someone. Be they male or female. It's just the kind of person i am.

I think what I was trying to say was that I wouldn't want anyone seeing me as a weak submissive type female as to me that's what the I see the olden days of women staying at home and men going to work was. That's not to say however I don't want doors being opened for me etc but to me that is just pure good manners and nothing more, and I would do the same in reverse

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

As a friend from work explained (in its most simplistic and base form), adult men expect boys to grow up to be hunters, protectors, providers, strong, warriors, beat their chests and defend their territories and all within it.

Sadly, while out doing all those things, the older men don't realise the younger men being left alone with the adult women only leaves them to learn how to serve, chase after and ultimately do all in their power to please their mothers and win their approval.. the opposite of "the plan" as expected by the adult men.

In short,... men were raised to be pussies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fiercely independent, left home at a young age, joined the military and had to prove myself in a very male dominated environment.

I'm not the little lady who needs her bags carrying, doors opening or 'heavy' things taken off me. I don't need men in the gym offering me the lighter weights.

I am a strong, independent woman and I'll make no apologies for it. I am what I am.

I think is the most pertinent post on here.

I like strong independent women, focussed, intelligent, driven, but when it comes to being close and intimate, i want my lady to know she feels respected wanted needed and safe.

I think a woman can acknowledge those but I would however want to know within that that I could take the lead in sex ie make the first move, sit on top etc

Oh my word that gores without saying, its the sense of safety that would allow you do as you please sexually x"

Makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

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By *eyondCuriousWoman
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

re-masculisation

man here, why not I would say most guys love to look after the fem and from my life they at most times like to be look after, not saying we want to control just watch your backs this is in life and in play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, but things have moved on from Barbara Cartland ..being a real man is a much, much, more complex thing than performing superficial social niceities.

Some of the most controlling, bullying men I have known have only been too happy to be 'gentlemen' in social surroundings."

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Real Men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For my part I don't have an issue with men opening doors etc as I would do the same for someone else. It's called manners and I see it as an act of thoughtfulness. I don't see how nowadays that can be seen as a sexist way to behave. I think the focus of feminists has long since moved on from this sort if thing and has focused instead on the far more worrying behaviour of people.

Here's a good summary

:http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2013/dec/20/2013-year-in-sexism?CMP=twt_gu

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its a relationship then yes its nice to be romanced and treated.

And its polite to hold doors open and such....but when it comes to just meeting for sex there is no need for protecting and treating.

Its nice but not a must so long as the sex is good.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I display good manners to all and am happy to pay for dinner if I do the inviting to join me for a meal.

I have ZERO desire to be seen as a 'real man'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't class my self as old (early 30s) but I am quite chivalrous in my nature and feel I should have been born in an earlier era.

I'm all for strong women, joint decision making, equal rights and career women etc but I cannot let go of habits such as opening the door, walking a female home at night and being a bit protective. That may be seen as a good thing to some and sexist to others but I'm proud of the way I am. Mrs Z is happy with it and hence she married me and occasionally happy with me!

In reply to the OP, I'm often is despair with many of my friends and feel men are not men anymore. Being a good man means you show full respect and treat your partner equally but there is no harm in being a little protective and being a gent. It's not different to a wife showing some real female warmth that a male cannot always replicate in the same way.

As Rocky Balboa once said:

Adrian I never stopped you from being a woman so why you stopping me from being a man?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of that behaviour is just common politeness and I think everyone should do it for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife wants me to be the 50 60s man, she will cook for me. Do me a lunch to go to work. Says for me to make the decision what we going to do and things like that. We both work like I am today but I know when I get home my food will be waiting for me and after it she will run me a bath. When we first got together it was uncomfortable with it as it felt like she was my slave and not my gf but after we talked about it she has told me she wants to do them things and she happy for me to be a "real man" by open the doors, paying for meal when were out, going to the bar for drinks. Driving her places. But I always do the cleaning hehe and she will always be in charge of the money. Don't get me wrong if I'm not working and she is in work, ill will cook for her and run her a bath, and sometimes when we out mini will pay for drinks and meal. It works for us, its not for everyone tho x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I display good manners to all and am happy to pay for dinner if I do the inviting to join me for a meal.

I have ZERO desire to be seen as a 'real man'.

View......that's cause you're a true gent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"LOL .......funniest thread I've read for ages

Why funny?????

" why aren't there any real men " I am my own man , no body tells me what I should be ,that's my decision . "

No one tells ,e what to do either, I make my own way in life. I am always happy with my life and what I get from it.

I don't care if a woman thinks its weird that I won't go to a resturant where you have to queue to pay at the end. Same as I don't care if she doesn't like it that I open a door.

I won't put up with tantrums bad behaviour attention seeking .

I don't pay loads of compliments buy flowers chocolates and when I do buy chocolates I usually eat most of them before I get it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I display good manners to all and am happy to pay for dinner if I do the inviting to join me for a meal.

I have ZERO desire to be seen as a 'real man'.

Call me old fashioned but I would never take a woman for a meal until I have slept with them at least 3 times

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By *rikki1967ukMan
over a year ago

peterborough

Manners maketh man. Seems a big gap these days between good up bringing and media expectations. I have found my own peer group who came up through the 70/80s are the worst. The youngsters appear to have come back to reality. Though the media wouldn't like you to believe it. Being polite to all is most important not whether you can out lift someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I display good manners to all and am happy to pay for dinner if I do the inviting to join me for a meal.

I have ZERO desire to be seen as a 'real man'.

Call me old fashioned but I would never take a woman for a meal until I have slept with them at least 3 times "

Really? My last meet actually invited me to his home and cooked me dinner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men and women ARE different and really, rather than trying to be the same, we should be celebrating the differences and not berrating them. There are things men do better and things women do better ...why do some fight against this? I personally am a very capable person, I have had to be but ...while Im perfectly able to change a wheel Im not going to refuse the offer from someone to do it for me. If something is heavy but manageable, I am perfectly happy to let someone else move it if they offer to, why wouldn't I.

I LOVE being a woman and I love men just the way they are. Vive la deifference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Men and women ARE different and really, rather than trying to be the same, we should be celebrating the differences and not berrating them. There are things men do better and things women do better ...why do some fight against this? I personally am a very capable person, I have had to be but ...while Im perfectly able to change a wheel Im not going to refuse the offer from someone to do it for me. If something is heavy but manageable, I am perfectly happy to let someone else move it if they offer to, why wouldn't I.

I LOVE being a woman and I love men just the way they are. Vive la deifference

I'm looking for a rich bird, maybe one with a bently...one that can be bent over the bently of course...HINT! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I LOVE being a woman and I love men just the way they are. Vive la deifference

I'm looking for a rich bird, maybe one with a bently...one that can be bent over the bently of course...HINT! x"

Lolol at you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem with the majority of feminism is they don't just demand equality,they want to be the superior sex. Nobody on this earth is better than me male or female.

I still use basic common politeness to female strangers if they don't like it,I won't lose any sleep over it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wife wants me to be the 50 60s man, she will cook for me. Do me a lunch to go to work. Says for me to make the decision what we going to do and things like that. We both work like I am today but I know when I get home my food will be waiting for me and after it she will run me a bath. When we first got together it was uncomfortable with it as it felt like she was my slave and not my gf but after we talked about it she has told me she wants to do them things and she happy for me to be a "real man" by open the doors, paying for meal when were out, going to the bar for drinks. Driving her places. But I always do the cleaning hehe and she will always be in charge of the money. Don't get me wrong if I'm not working and she is in work, ill will cook for her and run her a bath, and sometimes when we out mini will pay for drinks and meal. It works for us, its not for everyone tho x"

Sounds to me like you have a very healthy equal and balanced relationship, exactly what to me it should be like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A naughty gentleman here please

I'm happy to celebrate the differences between our genders and maintain a strong, independent character.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OP here...just read all your posts! Loving it! And the responses don't surprise me one bit.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I LOVE being a woman and I love men just the way they are. Vive la deifference

I'm looking for a rich bird, maybe one with a bently...one that can be bent over the bently of course...HINT! x"

I told you to go and sit on the naughty step! Naughty boy!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like to feel protected and a man be a man...I like to feel wanted and desired by a man...it's a wonderful feeling

This is exactly how I like to be treated

And personally i think thats how it should be"

Me too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An outstanding thread indeed. And hardly any doffcocking!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I like strong independent women, focussed, intelligent, driven, but when it comes to being close and intimate, i want my lady to know she feels respected wanted needed and safe."

Yup, good description. If I know a man is capable and trustworthy as well, and is aware of and responsive to my needs - well, I can just melt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could set feminism back 30 yr or so!! But like the gentleman to have a dark filthy side once he has opened the bedroom door for me!! X

Think we like the same men then!

Absolutely!!!

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Lots of my male friends now call themselves a femenist, which to me just looks like they will say anything to get there dick wet!

I'm a bloke, I will open a door for a lady, not just the pretty ones but any lady, it's how I was raised.

I'll give up my seat, not because I think women are weak, but because I think you likely need it more than I do, regardless of if male or female (unless you look at me, like it's your god damn given right to have a seat, just because you have tits)

I'll pay for drinks or food on a first date, simply because I asked the woman out.. I didn't ask her if she could afford to go out, I offered to take her out.

If lady is going to bitch at me for doing any of the above she can simply feck off (unless she is really bitchy and snobby... omg I love women like that)

Ohh and i'll tell a sexualy explicit joke, simply because I find it funny, screw the PC crowd.

Fuck it I may even call her Treacle or princess and buy her a white wine and a _ruit pastry, just because she is a lady!

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 05/01/14 15:05:11]

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Just saw this which seems pertinent to me:

I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.

J. D. Salinger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I LOVE being a woman and I love men just the way they are. Vive la deifference

I'm looking for a rich bird, maybe one with a bently...one that can be bent over the bently of course...HINT! x

I told you to go and sit on the naughty step! Naughty boy!

I have two arses, I can spread myself around nicely

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I love men who open doors and make me feel treasured. I am a confident lady and assertive so I find it really hard to let a guy pay. Money is a problem for me so have to be careful. I know when I plan a club visit I sit down and work out money. I tend to normally drive so happy to do that then the guy can drink. When a guy pays I honestly am touched but still battle with it in my head. I try to say nothing as would be mortified to discuss it. When in a relationship I still battle with the money demon but never want to offend.

I attend more clubs and parties alone than with someone so often doesn't effect me.

Money scares me as I have little.

I love to feel protected and looked after by a man.

Men. Lovely masculine men x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"An outstanding thread indeed. And hardly any doffcocking!

A what? ?? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"An outstanding thread indeed. And hardly any doffcocking!

A what? ?? Lol"

agreeing with u because they want a shag basically lol

I agree btw...HINT!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lots of my male friends now call themselves a femenist, which to me just looks like they will say anything to get there dick wet!

I'm a bloke, I will open a door for a lady, not just the pretty ones but any lady, it's how I was raised.

I'll pay for drinks or food on a first date, simply because I asked the woman out.. I didn't ask her if she could afford to go out, I offered to take her out.

If lady is going to bitch at me for doing any of the above she can simply feck off (unless she is really bitchy and snobby... omg I love women like that)

Ohh and i'll tell a sexualy explicit joke, simply because I find it funny, screw the PC crowd.

Fuck it I may even call her Treacle or princess and buy her a white wine and a _ruit pastry, just because she is a lady!

Lol...best yet!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Well said Littlekitten, lets celebrate by you jumping into my arms and the pair of us slowly spinning

That's what's wrong with it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"A recent topic that was alluded to in a previous thread, got me thinking that so far, I don't think I have seen this topic come up...

I know I will receive a firm thrashing from some militant feminists on here...but I will take the risk!

So here goes......

I speak to a lot of women who say that aren't any REAL men out there. I say it is because women don't allow men to be men....

So opening doors, buying a drink, insisting on going dutch on a first date even though he said he wants to treat her and has INVITED her out....I could go on...

Ladies...these things don't make you weak or feeble or incapable. There is everything to like about a man who is also a gentleman.

Most men I talk to love a feminine woman. Its sexy! Its beautiful! They like being the protector! They like looking after you!

I think its a nice thing and makes me feel womanly and confident and special. Whats wrong with that?

Equal opportunities and pc brigade stopped all that

You're making all this up as you go along. It's a very ill informed post.

Feminism is about women being accepted in society AS women.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"The problem with the majority of feminism is they don't just demand equality,they want to be the superior sex. Nobody on this earth is better than me male or female.

I still use basic common politeness to female strangers if they don't like it,I won't lose any sleep over it.

Please tell me what you know about the majority of 'feminism'

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"I display good manners to all and am happy to pay for dinner if I do the inviting to join me for a meal.

I have ZERO desire to be seen as a 'real man'.

You always strike me as a real human being View. Balanced. x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"I don't need a man to make me feel womanly, confident or special!

Opening doors, going dutch etc are just good manners and should be done irrelevant of gender.

I'm in a relationship as an equal partner and it's about give and take

Mrs Dirty "

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By *mo-amas-amatMan
over a year ago

brighton

Can I ask a somewhat pedantic question? Are we talking about emasculation here, or demasculinisation?

I must apologise, it is the proofreader in me. (And at the moment, she has a large strap on up my ass

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Why do we need to focus on one aspect of equal rights? Equality is exactly that, equal and across the board. When we factionalise it into racism, homosexual rights, feminism etc all we do is highlight the difference that idiots think is worth discriminating against in the first place. Everyone should be treated equally irrespective of anything like that. What people do have to realise is that equal rights comes with equal responsibility. I think the vast majority of women, gay people and ethnic groups are perfectly happy with that responsibility and it is the dickheads on both sides that try to create schisms and factions to further their pathetic egos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The problem with the majority of feminism is they don't just demand equality,they want to be the superior sex. Nobody on this earth is better than me male or female.

I still use basic common politeness to female strangers if they don't like it,I won't lose any sleep over it.

Please tell me what you know about the majority of 'feminism' "

Some still have respect for others but you get the odd bad apple who likes to get pissed up and think hey can paw people. Odd that some shout form the rooftops one thing but are a bit seedy themselves.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

i think being masculine got confused with male chauvininsm... i hope i can be a real man flirting, holding doors, offering my arm, holding umbrellas, chatting..and generally sharing this world with my fellow female human beings without being overbearing, ignorant, arrogant or patronising

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think being masculine got confused with male chauvininsm... i hope i can be a real man flirting, holding doors, offering my arm, holding umbrellas, chatting..and generally sharing this world with my fellow female human beings without being overbearing, ignorant, arrogant or patronising "

Holding doors, offering my arm, holding umbrellas is seen as chauvinistic by some you know.

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

The same as wolf whistling???

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

open your own door then ..ignore my arm and get wet .. its up to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The same as wolf whistling???"

Its chavvy when a woman does it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"I like being a mans man, hunting, fish, using tools, saving live, running into burning building, drive old mussel car I build, and make a home for my family is the one thing that gives me the most pride of being a man. Also the fact the miss likes to share her mans man with other women cause she feel safe in the knowledge I would kill anyone that hurt her or our family with out pause."

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Yawn Yawn...blimey it doesn't half go on and on ...Let me know who has the last word..Would you rather be happy or would you rather be right?

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