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attention, not advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's that time of night when single guys take stock of their lack of success during the day so I thought I would join in. Please look at my profile and enter witty and cruel comments below.

I don't intent to listen or act on any advice you give, but will try and keep the post going as long as possible to get the message out that I'm after a quicky.

I would take my pic down and stick to a one sentance profile but I can't be arsed to press delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's that time of night when single guys take stock of their lack of success during the day so I thought I would join in. Please look at my profile and enter witty and cruel comments below.

I don't intent to listen or act on any advice you give, but will try and keep the post going as long as possible to get the message out that I'm after a quicky.

I would take my pic down and stick to a one sentance profile but I can't be arsed to press delete."

miaowwww!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

purr, purr

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By *hesecretsquirrelMan
over a year ago

The Nut Stash

Have a wank! It's sex with someone you love!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That's not a bad idea, should I do it in front of the mirror?

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By *hesecretsquirrelMan
over a year ago

The Nut Stash


"That's not a bad idea, should I do it in front of the mirror?"

Depends!

Are you a voyeur or an exhibitionist?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

well if I angle two correctly i can have the best of both worlds, a 'me' gangbang party.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well if I angle two correctly i can have the best of both worlds, a 'me' gangbang party. "

Paint some nail varnish on your left hand after lying on it for an hour!

Will both 'feel' and 'look' like someone else is tugging you off!

Winner winner!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

yer but I've got hairy knuckles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"yer but I've got hairy knuckles."

Time to get the razor out then I guess!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

a retraint induced cross dressing mutidimensional onaism party, sounds like my night is sorted after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is awesome

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think I've sat on my hand for too long, gangrene seems to be setting in.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Hope you didn't burn ya willy when you did the ironing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

single guys don't iron, its just for show in case a lady comes round.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"single guys don't iron, its just for show in case a lady comes round."

I just buy a new shirt each time i need to wear one.

i currently own 1

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

ah, jumpers this time of year - no ironing bonus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ah, jumpers this time of year - no ironing bonus."

i prefer leather, good for all occasions, and the Armour inserts are really helpful for those awkward the partner you didn't know about arrives home early meet scenarios

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

oh yes, leather, good for stain removal as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"oh yes, leather, good for stain removal as well."

you gotta love wipe clean :D

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

yes well I've taken to having them lie down on joined together tie top bin liners. The smell of melted linear polyethlyene resin really drives them wild. If you oil in up you also have the added advantage of easy repositioning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good thinking. if you've got a bit of cash spare the old rubber paddling pool and a crate of baked beans is always a crowd pleaser.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"good thinking. if you've got a bit of cash spare the old rubber paddling pool and a crate of baked beans is always a crowd pleaser."

oh yes, can you use the ones with hotdogs or maybe all day breakfast at a push?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"good thinking. if you've got a bit of cash spare the old rubber paddling pool and a crate of baked beans is always a crowd pleaser.

oh yes, can you use the ones with hotdogs or maybe all day breakfast at a push?"

the hot dogs could add a new and interesting dynamic to the whole experience!

I don't think you could use all day breakfast, everyone would fight over the bacon and fall out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"good thinking. if you've got a bit of cash spare the old rubber paddling pool and a crate of baked beans is always a crowd pleaser.

oh yes, can you use the ones with hotdogs or maybe all day breakfast at a push?

the hot dogs could add a new and interesting dynamic to the whole experience!

I don't think you could use all day breakfast, everyone would fight over the bacon and fall out."

hmm true, you might end up with pigs in blankets if they get attached to the wrong areas. The question is red or brown sauce?

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

Was it your attention to draw attention to the fact that the camera is the same size as your willy? I've seen it done with a Sky remote, Lynx cans and beer cans but a camera is something new!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I had a quick look at your profile and I must say I am disappointed: no cock pics, actual text on your profile not just 'fill in later' and where the hell is the sky remote pic!! Must try harder lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First off your from Consett! Don't you know there's very few swingers up there? It's too blooming cold to get naked ! People don't want to travel there, mainly for the cost of the mountaineering gear and those sherpa guides are extortionate! Honestly Consettonians are just WANT WANT WANT !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Was it your attention to draw attention to the fact that the camera is the same size as your willy? I've seen it done with a Sky remote, Lynx cans and beer cans but a camera is something new!"

lol well now thats a good idea. Looking at my photos is like interpriting an oil painting

The camera rather than an iphone to say I'm more 'mature' and too tight to buy one. The position of my arms to hide the trips to greggs and those christmas dinner love handles. The iron board in the background to highlight my feminine side (I'll get some stick for this one haha). The open back door because, well, I'll let anybody in. The trimmed pubic hair becasue I'm easily led and watch too much porn. The neatly made bed becasue I don't get much action.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"First off your from Consett! Don't you know there's very few swingers up there? It's too blooming cold to get naked ! People don't want to travel there, mainly for the cost of the mountaineering gear and those sherpa guides are extortionate! Honestly Consettonians are just WANT WANT WANT !"

Why do you think my nipples are so pointy. Anyway what are you a soft Southerner, too cold, ha. It's t-shirt weather. That's why we need to keep our pubic hair around these parts. We're known as newcastle yeti.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I prefer a nice cup of tea to sex - but it doesn't half burn your willy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sometimes I prefer a nice cup of tea to sex - but it doesn't half burn your willy"

oh yes, with french fancies, the pink ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why are the pink ones so damn tasty

also is it possible to look manly while enjoying a good french fancy ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

yer, just take the flutted casing off and stuff it all in your gob at once. I always have a spare box in for those late night meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First off your from Consett! Don't you know there's very few swingers up there? It's too blooming cold to get naked ! People don't want to travel there, mainly for the cost of the mountaineering gear and those sherpa guides are extortionate! Honestly Consettonians ar

Why do you think my nipples are so pointy. Anyway what are you a soft Southerner, too cold, ha. It's t-shirt weather. That's why we need to keep our pubic hair around these parts. We're known as newcastle yeti."

I'm an ex consettonian living down the valley a bit...and my 5nipples are fine now !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"First off your from Consett! Don't you know there's very few swingers up there? It's too blooming cold to get naked ! People don't want to travel there, mainly for the cost of the mountaineering gear and those sherpa guides are extortionate! Honestly Consettonians ar

Why do you think my nipples are so pointy. Anyway what are you a soft Southerner, too cold, ha. It's t-shirt weather. That's why we need to keep our pubic hair around these parts. We're known as newcastle yeti.

I'm an ex consettonian living down the valley a bit...and my 5nipples are fine now ! "

5 nipples, you are from consett. I personally I miss the pink snow, things are just not the same since the iron works went.

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