FabSwingers.com forum: Guilt....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have you ever felt guilty for being a swinger and if you have, what might have made you feel this way?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

dont feel guilty but i do feel i have to hide it

a few of my friends know and my sister but i would not like it to be very common knowledge

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"dont feel guilty but i do feel i have to hide it

a few of my friends know and my sister but i would not like it to be very common knowledge"

I can understand that and wonder how many people feel like this. Then again I also wonder why we still think we have to hide our life style...?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"dont feel guilty but i do feel i have to hide it

a few of my friends know and my sister but i would not like it to be very common knowledge

I can understand that and wonder how many people feel like this. Then again I also wonder why we still think we have to hide our life style...? "

i think people still have lots of issues about sex, a friend of mine is worried he will get someone pregnant even if he is safe

some guy on msn has just asked why i have sex with lots of men and 'was i brought up that way' - ummmmmmm we met on here ffs!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don't feel guilty neither do I feel the need to share with others what I do sexually.

Family and friends don't know the contents of my bank accounts, how many times a day I open my bowels etc. It's possible to keep certain aspects of your life private without sharing with all and sundry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to start a topic about Christian swingers (I'm not religious myself) and how they see their sexuality fitting in with in their church's doctrine. I think the issue of guilt would come up often in that discussion.

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By *ansue35Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

well,

once or twice, i have a little bit felt guilty.

When we been to a club and only the fems have played. Ians just watched or sat near me. I do i swear (LOL) try and get to play with him. but well tits in your face what else can i do

So i try and make sure that i get all of us to play and if its just fem on fem and no ones playing with the guys i play for a while then leave. makes me feel better

Sue

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

"dont feel guilty but i do feel i have to hide it

a few of my friends know and my sister but i would not like it to be very common knowledge

I can understand that and wonder how many people feel like this. Then again I also wonder why we still think we have to hide our life style...? "

Well friends of the earth wear green, homosexuals wear pink, I think we should all come out of the closet and wear RED

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

"Have you ever felt guilty for being a swinger and if you have, what might have made you feel this way?"

.. nope. Good, selfish fun that hurts no one else.

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By *Pebble-Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

i think the old double standards are still very alive in polite society

but times are changing

a 100 years ago talking about anal or same sex was a nono now both are at least tollerated

whilst we all remain silent nothing changes, but it is hard taking those first brave steps

my family my friends my neighbours ALL know i am Poly and Bi, occationally a narrow minded bigot will pipe up a comment, and no doubt there are whispers, but no one has tormented my kids for it or egged my home

sometimes we fear what others might say that we say nothing and years later regret this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only feel guilty if I have been chatting to someone, got on ok chat wise, then swap pics and though, no I can't play with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont do guilt its my life but its not public knowledge either cause its fuck all to do with anyone except me!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

nope... my conscience is clear for a change!!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nope... my conscience is clear for a change!!! lol "

you should feel guilty!! u dissed jammy wagon wheels!!

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By *wned EmCouple
over a year ago

nuneaton

I feel a little guilty telling white lies to family and friends about where I'm going when going to Chams and what I'm doing on a Saturday night when we have a meet but I live with it!

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

"I feel a little guilty telling white lies to family and friends about where I'm going when going to Chams and what I'm doing on a Saturday night when we have a meet but I live with it!"

.. ah! You've probably unearthed our one guilt twinge.. telling the kids we're off to pub quizzes etc when we're on social, 'get to know you' meets with new friends!!

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By *wned EmCouple
over a year ago

nuneaton

I met a couple who told their kids they went to the gym when they went to Chams. Not sure if the kids believed they spent 7 hours down the gym at least once a week and never got any fitter!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I met a couple who told their kids they went to the gym when they went to Chams. Not sure if the kids believed they spent 7 hours down the gym at least once a week and never got any fitter!"

lol I'd better start excercising as well then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I met a couple who told their kids they went to the gym when they went to Chams. Not sure if the kids believed they spent 7 hours down the gym at least once a week and never got any fitter!"

Thought sex was good for ur body

with seven hours must be fit...giggles

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By *arlitos WayMan
over a year ago

Brighton & Hove

"I met a couple who told their kids they went to the gym when they went to Chams. Not sure if the kids believed they spent 7 hours down the gym at least once a week and never got any fitter!"

Hahaha good one lies have indeed short legs!

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By *arlitos WayMan
over a year ago

Brighton & Hove

"dont feel guilty but i do feel i have to hide it

a few of my friends know and my sister but i would not like it to be very common knowledge

I can understand that and wonder how many people feel like this. Then again I also wonder why we still think we have to hide our life style...? "

I do not feel guilty but it’s part of my personal life and is nobody’s business, I would not deny it is I was asked, but then again why should not I be doing something I enjoy knowing that I am not hurting anybody’s feelings?

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By *arlitos WayMan
over a year ago

Brighton & Hove

I know of a friend that after becoming a widow she started swinging and enjoyed it so much. She made the mistake of telling this to her very best friend who although she showed interest and understanding in the beginning, she gradually fade away as a friend……

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

We don’t feel guilty, its our lives, its our bodies to do with as we please but we do enjoy the ‘guilty secret.

One time my youngest son (in his twenties) was sat on the sofa next to Helen. On TV was some program depicting a lesbian scene when my boy pipes up, “Core lesbians, I’d love to have a couple of lesbians in bed” H and I looked at each other thinking the same thing… you’re sat next to one, your stepmother swings both ways LOL.

We also find it amusing in any normal social gathering, pub, club, party, work or whatever when sex, sexuality, perversions, fetishes etc. are the subject of discussion. At work for example, one time I walked into the production area and the conversation subject was blow-jobs. One of the girls was voicing her negative opinions of it and as I walked past I said, “I bet I’ve sucked off more cocks than she has” of course they all laughed at my “JOKE”!

Another time we had arranged a ‘cream pie’ with our regular guy. So when he turned up I popped next door to see a neighbour (actually needed to see them anyway). Neighbour says to me… “Where’s Helen?” I said, “Oh she’s round home being fucked by a mate of ours with his rampant 8 inch hard-on”. Neighbour replies with a laugh, “Yeah, yeah, bet she’s watching Eastenders” I thought, have it your way, but watching Eastenders is the last thing on her mind!

You’d be surprised what you can get away with by telling the truth, people seem to expect people to lie so tell the truth and they don’t believe you. Other than that unless we choose to share something, what we do or don’t do is no ones business.

Be lucky,

Dave

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"Have you ever felt guilty for being a swinger and if you have, what might have made you feel this way?"

Yes.

Sorry but this might turn out to be a long post...

I've not been on the scene for very long. I joined this site after my wife and I had split up last year. One of several reasons why we separated was because we weren't getting on together sexually. There are a couple of reasons for this, but it was mostly because after having been together for so many years our sex life had become predictable and our desire for each other had gone stale.

As a result of this, over a period of many months we'd talked and talked and Mrs Carambar mentioned that she'd never really been a believer in monogamy. This wasn't really news to me but I'd always dismissed it before as I had no reason to really give it any thought.

As our relationship was ending, however, this became more of an issue. Whilst we were still together, Mrs Carambar met and fucked someone else. At that time, this was a real blow to me (no pun intended) and I went through every emotion possible - I felt humiliated, rejected, disrespected, hurt... but also turned on.

It was at this point that we agreed that we would be in a polyamorous relationship - Mrs Carambar doesn't like the terms swingers and swinging. Over the next few months, Mrs Carambar met and fucked 2 other men, although I didn't see anybody else during that time. I was still getting to grips with the idea of being polygamous and polyamorous.

Later in the year our relationship broke down further - although not as a result of Mrs Carambar's sexual antics - and we separated. Funnily enough, it was only once we had split up that I felt ready to see other women. Until that point I had always considered me having sex with another woman as 'cheating', even if Mrs Carambar would have been told what was happening and would have agreed to it. I didn't consider it as 'cheating' when she did it, only when I thought about me doing it. I know that's nonsensical but I'm male so I don't always make sense.

In December I spent the day with someone I met on here. She knows who she is and I can say that she was fabulous. We played together although we didn't have penetrative sex on that meet. At various times during the day whilst I was having fun with my new friend I couldn't help but think about Mrs Carambar. Even though we had separated I somehow felt guilty for some reason... it's not even as if I'm religious! But because I enjoyed being with the person I was with so much I didn't want to stop so I carried on having fun.

Today, Mrs Carambar and I are attempting to resolve our problems. We're back together, and our relationship is stronger than it was previously. The lid to Pandora's box has most definitely been opened, however, and we've both sampled its delights and want more. However, once I had popped my swinging cherry, so to speak, my whole outlook on what defines 'cheating' changed. I now see the act of having sex with someone else as being just that - it's not a surrogate relationship... it's just having sex with someone else.

Having sex with another swinger, provided you're open and honest about it with your partner if they're not participating, is not cheating. It has taken me a bloody long time to truly appreciate that. Contrary to how I was previously, I wouldn't feel guilty now about doing it.

Flippin' heck that was a long post. Hopefully you can see what I'm trying to explain though... I could've said I felt guilty about being unfaithful when I first met someone, but that would've missed out all the context.

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