Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
![]() | Back to forum list |
![]() | Back to Swingers Chat |
Jump to newest | ![]() |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have no problem saying no thanks.... You are never going to fancy everything off the menu, be polite that's all " It gets a bit tedious being polite to people that clearly haven't read our profile (when it's showing). We're very clear on what we are looking for but still the majority of messages are from people we don't wish to meet. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a above......discuss ![]() The answer is in your profile. "Time is precious" - you don't want yours wasting so why expect others to waste their's telling you something that is clearly obvious from a no reply. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a above......discuss ![]() Because it's polite. Like I said, put in as much effort as they have. If it's a 'hi u k?' then fuck that. If they have made an effort then in my opinion they deserve the manners and dignity of a simple thanks but no thanks even if it is obvious. I know I make an effort in messaging people and I appreciate a reply even if it's not the reply I wanted. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You send a message. It is read and either ignored or deleted. Does that suggest they are interested? If the answer is no then you don't need any reply to confirm that, do you?" Need? No. The OP wasn't saying "I am so confused I don't get a reply if they said no thanks only then would I know they were uninterested!" So it may be obvious. But I would dare to suggest replying nevertheless is polite. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You send a message. It is read and either ignored or deleted. Does that suggest they are interested? If the answer is no then you don't need any reply to confirm that, do you? Need? No. The OP wasn't saying "I am so confused I don't get a reply if they said no thanks only then would I know they were uninterested!" So it may be obvious. But I would dare to suggest replying nevertheless is polite." And when you send a 'no thanks' you get abuse - so what's in it for the person replying? I had one last week who told me I was 'ruff as fuck' anyway and he was just hoping to get 'a suck'. That was after a polite 'No thank you' - literally those three words. Many women on here - and possibly couples/men - simply no longer reply because of it. Also it does say on the site that NO ONE is obliged to reply to any mail. No replying is not rude - it is simply letting people know there is no interest. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway. " This ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm not telling anyone they have to. I'm telling you I think it would be polite." Perhaps so - but the reactions to it are not so polite. Why would anyone open themselves up to that? I generally say 'no thank you' unless it is an idiotic message like 'hows u'. But some people cannot accept that. That is why I totally understand that some simply do not reply to those they are not interested in By saying it is polite to respond suggests that you consider it rude not to - my argument is that it is not at all rude. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway. This ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a above......discuss ![]() Maybe those who don't bother replying are merely adhering to the two sentences after the p.s. on your profile? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm not telling anyone they have to. I'm telling you I think it would be polite. Perhaps so - but the reactions to it are not so polite. Why would anyone open themselves up to that? I generally say 'no thank you' unless it is an idiotic message like 'hows u'. But some people cannot accept that. That is why I totally understand that some simply do not reply to those they are not interested in By saying it is polite to respond suggests that you consider it rude not to - my argument is that it is not at all rude." Oh right. Well I don't think not replying is rude. I guess it's like opening doors. I don't care if someone doesn't hold open a door for me but I appreciate it (and think it's polite) if they do. Same sort of thing. If that makes sense. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm not telling anyone they have to. I'm telling you I think it would be polite. Perhaps so - but the reactions to it are not so polite. Why would anyone open themselves up to that? I generally say 'no thank you' unless it is an idiotic message like 'hows u'. But some people cannot accept that. That is why I totally understand that some simply do not reply to those they are not interested in By saying it is polite to respond suggests that you consider it rude not to - my argument is that it is not at all rude. Oh right. Well I don't think not replying is rude. I guess it's like opening doors. I don't care if someone doesn't hold open a door for me but I appreciate it (and think it's polite) if they do. Same sort of thing. If that makes sense." It's not at all the same sort of thing. Opening a door for someone is doing someone a favour. When you message someone on here you are trying to do yourself a favour - if you catch my drift. You are doing it to gain something for yourself - not the recipient. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"There are a lot of sensitive little souls in the world of swinging." ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand." If someone asked you a polite and valid question in real life would you just ignore them and walk away? If not then why is it seen as ok to do here? A simple thanks but no thanks isn't hard to do and I'll always take the time to thank the person for their reply | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You send a message. It is read and either ignored or deleted. Does that suggest they are interested? If the answer is no then you don't need any reply to confirm that, do you?" ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a above......discuss ![]() And just in case it's changed later I shall quote... "If you won't play with married men don't moan about it find a bloke who isn't! Time is precious so don't waste mine or yours!" As I said, maybe people are just following your instructions. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No reply = Thank you very much for your kind and interesting Email, but I / We are not interested in meeting with you, so conversing would be a waste of yours and my / our time. So no reply is a considerably nicer answer than thanks, but no thanks ![]() This ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand. If someone asked you a polite and valid question in real life would you just ignore them and walk away? If not then why is it seen as ok to do here? A simple thanks but no thanks isn't hard to do and I'll always take the time to thank the person for their reply" YOU may do - but many don't and this is why a lot of people do not reply. They have no idea if the response they will get is going to be 'thanks for replying' or something abusive. We're not psychic. I choose to reply usually - unless it is a pointless message. I am always polite. That is my choice. The responses I get are not always polite which is why I understand when people choose not to reply. Why is that so hard for people to understand? Abusive messages do not bother me - I find them amusing. But others find them very upsetting and this can result in them simply not replying to anyone they are not interested in. Simple as. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway. " I do this, I appreciate someone actually saying no thanks rather than just hitting the delete button. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You send a message. It is read and either ignored or deleted. Does that suggest they are interested? If the answer is no then you don't need any reply to confirm that, do you? Need? No. The OP wasn't saying "I am so confused I don't get a reply if they said no thanks only then would I know they were uninterested!" So it may be obvious. But I would dare to suggest replying nevertheless is polite. And when you send a 'no thanks' you get abuse - so what's in it for the person replying? I had one last week who told me I was 'ruff as fuck' anyway and he was just hoping to get 'a suck'. That was after a polite 'No thank you' - literally those three words. Many women on here - and possibly couples/men - simply no longer reply because of it. Also it does say on the site that NO ONE is obliged to reply to any mail. No replying is not rude - it is simply letting people know there is no interest." Extremely well said ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I cannot believe a simple issue of politeness (again not to say not replying is rude) has proved to be so contentious. Oh wait, yes I can, it's the fabswingers forum. ![]() Online politeness often passes people by and they feel they can respond rudely as they do not have that person in front of them in the flesh. I doubt that the guy who was last rude to me would have responded quite the same way if he had been looking me in the eye at the time. He felt brave enough to do it because he was merely looking at a screen. It is manipulative to try and argue that people have no manners if they do not respond - they have good reasons for not doing so and are not obliged to discuss those reasons. Trying to guilt someone into a behaviour they do not wish to conform with is not right. If people do not respond to messages it may well be frustrating and annoying. Particularly when it happens a lot. But a raft of 'no thank you' messages will be equally frustrating too. And not very good for one's confidence. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Perhaps it's because it has never been discussed before ???" ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Perhaps it's because it has never been discussed before ???" It's been discussed many many many many times before. You'll see it's the single men who complain about not getting a reply. This is because single men do not get anywhere near the volume of messages that some single women and couples do. I reply to every message I receive but if I was getting 10, 20, 30 plus a day I certainly wouldn't. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"This is from the site's FAQs: "There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages! It's not rude not to reply. Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"" ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I used to reply but since getting shit messages back I don't bother " I understand and why let them do that to you . x so best say nothing . | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Perhaps it's because it has never been discussed before ??? It's been discussed many many many many times before. You'll see it's the single men who complain about not getting a reply. This is because single men do not get anywhere near the volume of messages that some single women and couples do. I reply to every message I receive but if I was getting 10, 20, 30 plus a day I certainly wouldn't. " thankyou dr.cooper ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway. " oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway. oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks " Which you could follow with 'you're welcome'. Then they reply with 'no problem. To which you reply 'thank you'. Then you get back 'think nothing of it'. So you feel obliged to say 'not at all'. And then they say 'fancy a meet since we are getting on so well?' Then you say 'no thank you'. They respond with ' thank you for your reply'. Ad nauseum. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway. oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks " That's not surprising at all that it would annoy you, as your profile clearly states what anyone who messages you can expect. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We reply to any nice messages we get that are well thought out. However... We really can't be arsed to reply to the 79,642 messages we get per day that consist of "u tits so nice ye" or "wana fuk?". Why bother? If somebody isn't even going to bother reading our profile, let alone bother to string a sentence together, then I don't see why I should do the same for them. However IF the person is nice, polite, dare I say it "normal", it doesn't matter if they are not what we are looking for, they will get a nice reply back, even if its just a thank you and no thanks sort of reply. The reason so many men on here get so angry with no replies is because they have the IQ level of a 4 year old chimp and just mindlessly bash the keyboard with their heads. C xx" Over 79,000 i must be ugly trout only had 25 sincei cleared them last nite lol | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Alternatively.......why would 4 words from a total stranger make you feel any better? It's easier to just take the hint and move on - and concentrate on those that do reply! I've never said thanks but no thanks to a chugger in the high street, a Jehovah's witness knocking on my door or a telesales call on the phone - why would an equally unsolicited message on here make me do otherwise? ![]() Is it not called manners?? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"'Hey baby, you fancy a fuck?' 'With my footlong you are defo in luck' Such statements, so poor Not requiring much more Than 'delete' (for this gentleman's yuck.... ) ![]() This I understand but when one takes the time and effort to put a decent message together....This is what I am referring to. ... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Alternatively.......why would 4 words from a total stranger make you feel any better? It's easier to just take the hint and move on - and concentrate on those that do reply! I've never said thanks but no thanks to a chugger in the high street, a Jehovah's witness knocking on my door or a telesales call on the phone - why would an equally unsolicited message on here make me do otherwise? ![]() I have posted the site's FAQ on the subject on here. It might be worth reading for an answer to that question. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Because my mouth is full of cock." Still got fingers to type with though!! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a above......discuss ![]() This is exactly what I'm getting at.. ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a above......discuss ![]() ![]() You have been given copious responses as to why - so cherry-picking the ones you like is hardly a discussion as you asked for at the beginning of the thread. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand. If someone asked you a polite and valid question in real life would you just ignore them and walk away? If not then why is it seen as ok to do here? A simple thanks but no thanks isn't hard to do and I'll always take the time to thank the person for their reply" The local pizza place puts very politely worded leaflets through my door every week. I do eat Pizza but only ones I make myself so no interest in the polite invitation... So far I have never felt the urge to put a thanks but no thanks message through their door. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand. If someone asked you a polite and valid question in real life would you just ignore them and walk away? If not then why is it seen as ok to do here? A simple thanks but no thanks isn't hard to do and I'll always take the time to thank the person for their reply The local pizza place puts very politely worded leaflets through my door every week. I do eat Pizza but only ones I make myself so no interest in the polite invitation... So far I have never felt the urge to put a thanks but no thanks message through their door. " That is a very good analogy like it.... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand. If someone asked you a polite and valid question in real life would you just ignore them and walk away? If not then why is it seen as ok to do here? A simple thanks but no thanks isn't hard to do and I'll always take the time to thank the person for their reply The local pizza place puts very politely worded leaflets through my door every week. I do eat Pizza but only ones I make myself so no interest in the polite invitation... So far I have never felt the urge to put a thanks but no thanks message through their door. " ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, at least 7 people on here are stating that when they have replied with a polite no thanks they have received abuse. And that is the answer to why people choose not to respond - don't blame them. Blame the fucktards who are nasty when someone politely refuses them." Yes, and I don't even like the accusatory tone of posters on here telling me I am not polite - I know I damn well am **under normal circumstances** but sites like this and dating sites are NOT normal circumstances, and I reserve the right not to reply: if people do not in any way match the criteria I have stated, or if they ask me if I want to 'empty their balls' for them at 2am!! How damn polite is an approach like that anyway?? If someone has obviously made a genuine effort I always try and reply, but the last time I did that I got called a 'lying slut' because I told someone I didn't fancy that Coventry was too far away, and when they revealed they were moving to my area and I still said no. Maybe some people consider that anyone who does not continue to invite such abuse by replying to everything is ill-mannered, but I reject that as a very egocentric view to be frank. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a above......discuss ![]() Because the majority haven't read my profile and aren't what I'm looking for... Because I don't have the time to reply to them all... Because I've learnt that when I do I get a mouthful of abuse... Because I don't want to... Because I don't have to... ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Alternatively.......why would 4 words from a total stranger make you feel any better? It's easier to just take the hint and move on - and concentrate on those that do reply! I've never said thanks but no thanks to a chugger in the high street, a Jehovah's witness knocking on my door or a telesales call on the phone - why would an equally unsolicited message on here make me do otherwise? ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a above......discuss ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway. oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks That's not surprising at all that it would annoy you, as your profile clearly states what anyone who messages you can expect." Just a shame some people just don't don't read it to understand, but hey i tried ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No reply = Thank you very much for your kind and interesting Email, but I / We are not interested in meeting with you, so conversing would be a waste of yours and my / our time. So no reply is a considerably nicer answer than thanks, but no thanks ![]() would be a good idea to put this type of paragraph on your profiles.. th) use the block button can back it up. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway. oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks That's not surprising at all that it would annoy you, as your profile clearly states what anyone who messages you can expect. Just a shame some people just don't don't read it to understand, but hey i tried ![]() Reading is a skill that seems to have passed some site members by ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway. oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks That's not surprising at all that it would annoy you, as your profile clearly states what anyone who messages you can expect. Just a shame some people just don't don't read it to understand, but hey i tried ![]() ![]() If someone has sent me a polite note, then its only fair to respond......and yes I know I'm a single lady and gets lots of messages, but for every 100 "idiot" ones there is usually a polite one just trying to meet someone... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top | ![]() |