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Why is it so hard to say "thanks but no thanks"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

As a above......discuss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot on here find it very easy

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

If its in the context of the site and messages its too much effort for most.

If people read our profile and use the code word they get a reply even if its a thanks but no thanks, however this does quite often lead to a lot of whiney "but why" or even worse people who take that as a cue to message you over and over whenever you are online.

Its tough being nice on here I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hard bit is saying no nicely, balancing the idea of being definite and not to be persuaded otherwise, against doing it kindly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because

'Your loss'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not nice being rejected, but personally I would rather be told no thanks so I know where I stand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alternatively.......why would 4 words from a total stranger make you feel any better?

It's easier to just take the hint and move on - and concentrate on those that do reply!

I've never said thanks but no thanks to a chugger in the high street, a Jehovah's witness knocking on my door or a telesales call on the phone - why would an equally unsolicited message on here make me do otherwise?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No reply = Thank you very much for your kind and interesting Email, but I / We are not interested in meeting with you, so conversing would be a waste of yours and my / our time.

So no reply is a considerably nicer answer than thanks, but no thanks

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

My profile is hidden. Just because an idiot wastes his time doesn't mean I'm prepared to waste mine! I honestly don't see how "sorry, I'm looking for ripped and well endowed and you're not it" is better than silence.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I do say no thanks unless it's a sexual first message, in which case I don't reply.

I do sometimes get the "your loss " or why etc messages back but I ignore them.

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By *RYBBWCouple
over a year ago

Leeds.

We often get a "thanks for the reply" message. That's nice because proves the sender has manners and maturity.

However, there are always the "your loss", "fuck you", and "You were next choice to a wank" briggade. For some reason this bunch have been on the site for quite a while but have no veris. Can't imagine why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone makes an effort, I'll reply. If they're a dickhead 'you'll meet us at 9 then leave' couple then I'll delete that but if it's someone who's written me a proper message I will say thank you but not really my type have fun. Etc.

Manners cost nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because my mouth is full of cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no problem saying no thanks.... You are never going to fancy everything off the menu, be polite that's all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually do send a reply even if im not interested but that often then leads to abusive emails from the rejected person who doesnt seem to take rejection very well .... i then block them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no problem saying no thanks.... You are never going to fancy everything off the menu, be polite that's all "

It gets a bit tedious being polite to people that clearly haven't read our profile (when it's showing). We're very clear on what we are looking for but still the majority of messages are from people we don't wish to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a above......discuss "

The answer is in your profile. "Time is precious" - you don't want yours wasting so why expect others to waste their's telling you something that is clearly obvious from a no reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a above......discuss

The answer is in your profile. "Time is precious" - you don't want yours wasting so why expect others to waste their's telling you something that is clearly obvious from a no reply.

"

Because it's polite.

Like I said, put in as much effort as they have. If it's a 'hi u k?' then fuck that. If they have made an effort then in my opinion they deserve the manners and dignity of a simple thanks but no thanks even if it is obvious.

I know I make an effort in messaging people and I appreciate a reply even if it's not the reply I wanted.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

You send a message. It is read and either ignored or deleted. Does that suggest they are interested? If the answer is no then you don't need any reply to confirm that, do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You send a message. It is read and either ignored or deleted. Does that suggest they are interested? If the answer is no then you don't need any reply to confirm that, do you?"

Need? No.

The OP wasn't saying "I am so confused I don't get a reply if they said no thanks only then would I know they were uninterested!"

So it may be obvious. But I would dare to suggest replying nevertheless is polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a lot of sensitive little souls in the world of swinging.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"You send a message. It is read and either ignored or deleted. Does that suggest they are interested? If the answer is no then you don't need any reply to confirm that, do you?

Need? No.

The OP wasn't saying "I am so confused I don't get a reply if they said no thanks only then would I know they were uninterested!"

So it may be obvious. But I would dare to suggest replying nevertheless is polite."

And when you send a 'no thanks' you get abuse - so what's in it for the person replying? I had one last week who told me I was 'ruff as fuck' anyway and he was just hoping to get 'a suck'. That was after a polite 'No thank you' - literally those three words. Many women on here - and possibly couples/men - simply no longer reply because of it.

Also it does say on the site that NO ONE is obliged to reply to any mail. No replying is not rude - it is simply letting people know there is no interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not telling anyone they have to. I'm telling you I think it would be polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway.

"

This

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I'm not telling anyone they have to. I'm telling you I think it would be polite."

Perhaps so - but the reactions to it are not so polite. Why would anyone open themselves up to that?

I generally say 'no thank you' unless it is an idiotic message like 'hows u'. But some people cannot accept that.

That is why I totally understand that some simply do not reply to those they are not interested in

By saying it is polite to respond suggests that you consider it rude not to - my argument is that it is not at all rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway.

This "

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"As a above......discuss "

Maybe those who don't bother replying are merely adhering to the two sentences after the p.s. on your profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not telling anyone they have to. I'm telling you I think it would be polite.

Perhaps so - but the reactions to it are not so polite. Why would anyone open themselves up to that?

I generally say 'no thank you' unless it is an idiotic message like 'hows u'. But some people cannot accept that.

That is why I totally understand that some simply do not reply to those they are not interested in

By saying it is polite to respond suggests that you consider it rude not to - my argument is that it is not at all rude."

Oh right. Well I don't think not replying is rude. I guess it's like opening doors. I don't care if someone doesn't hold open a door for me but I appreciate it (and think it's polite) if they do.

Same sort of thing. If that makes sense.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I'm not telling anyone they have to. I'm telling you I think it would be polite.

Perhaps so - but the reactions to it are not so polite. Why would anyone open themselves up to that?

I generally say 'no thank you' unless it is an idiotic message like 'hows u'. But some people cannot accept that.

That is why I totally understand that some simply do not reply to those they are not interested in

By saying it is polite to respond suggests that you consider it rude not to - my argument is that it is not at all rude.

Oh right. Well I don't think not replying is rude. I guess it's like opening doors. I don't care if someone doesn't hold open a door for me but I appreciate it (and think it's polite) if they do.

Same sort of thing. If that makes sense."

It's not at all the same sort of thing. Opening a door for someone is doing someone a favour. When you message someone on here you are trying to do yourself a favour - if you catch my drift. You are doing it to gain something for yourself - not the recipient.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are a lot of sensitive little souls in the world of swinging."

The expectation of a reply combined with a feeling of being somehow wronged by not getting one, to me is indicative of a neediness that is far from  attractive

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By *ch WellMan
over a year ago

Scotland


"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand."

If someone asked you a polite and valid question in real life would you just ignore them and walk away? If not then why is it seen as ok to do here? A simple thanks but no thanks isn't hard to do and I'll always take the time to thank the person for their reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wont bother no more. If people cant be arsed reading my profile they get delieted and i dont even think anything of it no more. Im always getting mailed my men saying hi, quick fuck? And im GAY

Why get a thanks but no thanks if they cant see it in black n white i dont meet men? ...

Not with a piss in a china cup!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You send a message. It is read and either ignored or deleted. Does that suggest they are interested? If the answer is no then you don't need any reply to confirm that, do you?"

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"As a above......discuss

Maybe those who don't bother replying are merely adhering to the two sentences after the p.s. on your profile?"

And just in case it's changed later I shall quote...

"If you won't play with married men don't moan about it find a bloke who isn't! Time is precious so don't waste mine or yours!"

As I said, maybe people are just following your instructions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No reply = Thank you very much for your kind and interesting Email, but I / We are not interested in meeting with you, so conversing would be a waste of yours and my / our time.

So no reply is a considerably nicer answer than thanks, but no thanks "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its like the age thing, i have no problem at all telling a 21 year old he's out of my age range but struggle to say it to men in their 50s/60s

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand.

If someone asked you a polite and valid question in real life would you just ignore them and walk away? If not then why is it seen as ok to do here? A simple thanks but no thanks isn't hard to do and I'll always take the time to thank the person for their reply"

YOU may do - but many don't and this is why a lot of people do not reply. They have no idea if the response they will get is going to be 'thanks for replying' or something abusive. We're not psychic. I choose to reply usually - unless it is a pointless message. I am always polite. That is my choice. The responses I get are not always polite which is why I understand when people choose not to reply.

Why is that so hard for people to understand? Abusive messages do not bother me - I find them amusing. But others find them very upsetting and this can result in them simply not replying to anyone they are not interested in. Simple as.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway.

"

I do this, I appreciate someone actually saying no thanks rather than just hitting the delete button.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You send a message. It is read and either ignored or deleted. Does that suggest they are interested? If the answer is no then you don't need any reply to confirm that, do you?

Need? No.

The OP wasn't saying "I am so confused I don't get a reply if they said no thanks only then would I know they were uninterested!"

So it may be obvious. But I would dare to suggest replying nevertheless is polite.

And when you send a 'no thanks' you get abuse - so what's in it for the person replying? I had one last week who told me I was 'ruff as fuck' anyway and he was just hoping to get 'a suck'. That was after a polite 'No thank you' - literally those three words. Many women on here - and possibly couples/men - simply no longer reply because of it.

Also it does say on the site that NO ONE is obliged to reply to any mail. No replying is not rude - it is simply letting people know there is no interest."

Extremely well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cannot believe a simple issue of politeness (again not to say not replying is rude) has proved to be so contentious.

Oh wait, yes I can, it's the fabswingers forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps it's because it has never been discussed before ???

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I cannot believe a simple issue of politeness (again not to say not replying is rude) has proved to be so contentious.

Oh wait, yes I can, it's the fabswingers forum. "

Online politeness often passes people by and they feel they can respond rudely as they do not have that person in front of them in the flesh. I doubt that the guy who was last rude to me would have responded quite the same way if he had been looking me in the eye at the time. He felt brave enough to do it because he was merely looking at a screen.

It is manipulative to try and argue that people have no manners if they do not respond - they have good reasons for not doing so and are not obliged to discuss those reasons. Trying to guilt someone into a behaviour they do not wish to conform with is not right. If people do not respond to messages it may well be frustrating and annoying. Particularly when it happens a lot.

But a raft of 'no thank you' messages will be equally frustrating too. And not very good for one's confidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps it's because it has never been discussed before ???"

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I see no need for anyone to reply to a message of mine, I and I say I may choose to reply to a message thats how I choose to use the site and its tools, how other people choose to is their choice,

My only other comment on thos subject you message in the Hope of gaining a meeting between consenting adults,,

A thanks but no thanks message = no meeting

A deleted message = no meeting

A no reply = no meeting

Same outcome the only difference is that a no thanks message wastes your time reading it and the senders time composing it,,, time you could have spent finding the very people that would meet you,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always try to,

However sometimes due to the amount of messages and the fact that a great many don't read our profile we don't.

This issue is covered in the faqs on fab.

Though we do try to say thanks but no thanks we sometimes find that the receiver of the message find it hard to accept so end up getting blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a man if your lucky you get a message a day so it's very easy for us to say thanks but no thanks

As I'm sure you are all aware that couples and lady's get 100's a day for them to go though every one and reply would leave them very little time for much else

Personally if I get no reply I know where I stand don't take any offence by it and move on

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"Perhaps it's because it has never been discussed before ???"

It's been discussed many many many many times before.

You'll see it's the single men who complain about not getting a reply. This is because single men do not get anywhere near the volume of messages that some single women and couples do.

I reply to every message I receive but if I was getting 10, 20, 30 plus a day I certainly wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because some get nasty with no thanks and you open yourself up mailing back. And some think you will change your mind if they keep mailing .. Even if its nasty and putting you down ...... to make themselves feel better. So best to say nothing .

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

This is from the site's FAQs:

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you reply to all the junkmail you get in the post?

probably not.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"This is from the site's FAQs:

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be nice to get that many messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to reply but since getting shit messages back I don't bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to reply but since getting shit messages back I don't bother "
I understand and why let them do that to you . x so best say nothing .

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

So, at least 7 people on here are stating that when they have replied with a polite no thanks they have received abuse.

And that is the answer to why people choose not to respond - don't blame them. Blame the fucktards who are nasty when someone politely refuses them.

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By *errynjuneCouple
over a year ago

Barnsley

I am not changing who I am just because some guys on here cannot handle no thank you. I reply to all our messages, I see it as part of me being just that , me.

Despite the moans and the whines, despite the abuse, some of which has been vile. I will continue to do so, if I did not I have changed my ways to suit them. Why should I not reply to the majority of nice polite people on here, just because of a minority of idiots.

This btw is T and nothing to do with J, so all skits etc can be aimed directly at me and not her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps it's because it has never been discussed before ???

It's been discussed many many many many times before.

You'll see it's the single men who complain about not getting a reply. This is because single men do not get anywhere near the volume of messages that some single women and couples do.

I reply to every message I receive but if I was getting 10, 20, 30 plus a day I certainly wouldn't. "

thankyou dr.cooper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people cant be bothered to read our profile, then we can't be bothered to reply (Even a thanks but no thanks)...easy really!

Too many 'copy and Paste' artists on here, so would be here all day answering messages otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand ladies and couples not replying or just deleting messages if they are not interested. I also appreciate that they may wish to block if they want to ensure no further communication. It is especially understandable if they have received abusive messages in the past or have been pestered. However when I do get a response to say no thanks I am always grateful and say so, as it is nice to at least be acknowledged from time to time especially if you have put some effort into reading the profile and writing a thoughtful, relevant message.

However the upside of the harsh reality of this site is, it has helped me to learn new ways of getting my message across and becoming more successful when the odds are stacked against you getting a positive response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway.

"

oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway.

oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks "

Which you could follow with 'you're welcome'.

Then they reply with 'no problem.

To which you reply 'thank you'.

Then you get back 'think nothing of it'.

So you feel obliged to say 'not at all'.

And then they say 'fancy a meet since we are getting on so well?'

Then you say 'no thank you'.

They respond with ' thank you for your reply'.

Ad nauseum.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

It's not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We reply to any nice messages we get that are well thought out.

However...

We really can't be arsed to reply to the 79,642 messages we get per day that consist of "u tits so nice ye" or "wana fuk?". Why bother?

If somebody isn't even going to bother reading our profile, let alone bother to string a sentence together, then I don't see why I should do the same for them. However IF the person is nice, polite, dare I say it "normal", it doesn't matter if they are not what we are looking for, they will get a nice reply back, even if its just a thank you and no thanks sort of reply.

The reason so many men on here get so angry with no replies is because they have the IQ level of a 4 year old chimp and just mindlessly bash the keyboard with their heads. C xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am polite say no thanks,get deleted or thanks for reply,accasional Why will get reply eg too far or i dont find u attractive,i dont a beat round the bush,say it as it is,had nothing nasty or rude back,just deleted and moved on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway.

oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks "

That's not surprising at all that it would annoy you, as your profile clearly states what anyone who messages you can expect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We reply to any nice messages we get that are well thought out.

However...

We really can't be arsed to reply to the 79,642 messages we get per day that consist of "u tits so nice ye" or "wana fuk?". Why bother?

If somebody isn't even going to bother reading our profile, let alone bother to string a sentence together, then I don't see why I should do the same for them. However IF the person is nice, polite, dare I say it "normal", it doesn't matter if they are not what we are looking for, they will get a nice reply back, even if its just a thank you and no thanks sort of reply.

The reason so many men on here get so angry with no replies is because they have the IQ level of a 4 year old chimp and just mindlessly bash the keyboard with their heads. C xx"

Over 79,000 i must be ugly trout only had 25 sincei cleared them last nite lol

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By *mo-amas-amatMan
over a year ago

brighton

'Hey baby, you fancy a fuck?'

'With my footlong you are defo in luck'

Such statements, so poor

Not requiring much more

Than 'delete' (for this gentleman's yuck.... )

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Alternatively.......why would 4 words from a total stranger make you feel any better?

It's easier to just take the hint and move on - and concentrate on those that do reply!

I've never said thanks but no thanks to a chugger in the high street, a Jehovah's witness knocking on my door or a telesales call on the phone - why would an equally unsolicited message on here make me do otherwise? "

Is it not called manners??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"'Hey baby, you fancy a fuck?'

'With my footlong you are defo in luck'

Such statements, so poor

Not requiring much more

Than 'delete' (for this gentleman's yuck.... )

"

This I understand but when one takes the time and effort to put a decent message together....This is what I am referring to. ...

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"Alternatively.......why would 4 words from a total stranger make you feel any better?

It's easier to just take the hint and move on - and concentrate on those that do reply!

I've never said thanks but no thanks to a chugger in the high street, a Jehovah's witness knocking on my door or a telesales call on the phone - why would an equally unsolicited message on here make me do otherwise?

Is it not called manners??"

I have posted the site's FAQ on the subject on here. It might be worth reading for an answer to that question.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Because my mouth is full of cock."

Still got fingers to type with though!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As a above......discuss

The answer is in your profile. "Time is precious" - you don't want yours wasting so why expect others to waste their's telling you something that is clearly obvious from a no reply.

Because it's polite.

Like I said, put in as much effort as they have. If it's a 'hi u k?' then fuck that. If they have made an effort then in my opinion they deserve the manners and dignity of a simple thanks but no thanks even if it is obvious.

I know I make an effort in messaging people and I appreciate a reply even if it's not the reply I wanted. "

This is exactly what I'm getting at..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/12/13 11:16:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it, as probably been said, just to take a message not replied to as a no thanks?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"As a above......discuss

The answer is in your profile. "Time is precious" - you don't want yours wasting so why expect others to waste their's telling you something that is clearly obvious from a no reply.

Because it's polite.

Like I said, put in as much effort as they have. If it's a 'hi u k?' then fuck that. If they have made an effort then in my opinion they deserve the manners and dignity of a simple thanks but no thanks even if it is obvious.

I know I make an effort in messaging people and I appreciate a reply even if it's not the reply I wanted.

This is exactly what I'm getting at.. "

You have been given copious responses as to why - so cherry-picking the ones you like is hardly a discussion as you asked for at the beginning of the thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple premise for me. I don't expect a reply and I'm grateful when I get one positive or negative. I'm cock-a-hoop when I get a positive one though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand.

If someone asked you a polite and valid question in real life would you just ignore them and walk away? If not then why is it seen as ok to do here? A simple thanks but no thanks isn't hard to do and I'll always take the time to thank the person for their reply"

The local pizza place puts very politely worded leaflets through my door every week. I do eat Pizza but only ones I make myself so no interest in the polite invitation...

So far I have never felt the urge to put a thanks but no thanks message through their door.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand.

If someone asked you a polite and valid question in real life would you just ignore them and walk away? If not then why is it seen as ok to do here? A simple thanks but no thanks isn't hard to do and I'll always take the time to thank the person for their reply

The local pizza place puts very politely worded leaflets through my door every week. I do eat Pizza but only ones I make myself so no interest in the polite invitation...

So far I have never felt the urge to put a thanks but no thanks message through their door.

"

That is a very good analogy like it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely a no reply delete tells you where you stand.

If someone asked you a polite and valid question in real life would you just ignore them and walk away? If not then why is it seen as ok to do here? A simple thanks but no thanks isn't hard to do and I'll always take the time to thank the person for their reply

The local pizza place puts very politely worded leaflets through my door every week. I do eat Pizza but only ones I make myself so no interest in the polite invitation...

So far I have never felt the urge to put a thanks but no thanks message through their door.

"

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"So, at least 7 people on here are stating that when they have replied with a polite no thanks they have received abuse.

And that is the answer to why people choose not to respond - don't blame them. Blame the fucktards who are nasty when someone politely refuses them."

Yes, and I don't even like the accusatory tone of posters on here telling me I am not polite - I know I damn well am **under normal circumstances** but sites like this and dating sites are NOT normal circumstances, and I reserve the right not to reply: if people do not in any way match the criteria I have stated, or if they ask me if I want to 'empty their balls' for them at 2am!! How damn polite is an approach like that anyway??

If someone has obviously made a genuine effort I always try and reply, but the last time I did that I got called a 'lying slut' because I told someone I didn't fancy that Coventry was too far away, and when they revealed they were moving to my area and I still said no.

Maybe some people consider that anyone who does not continue to invite such abuse by replying to everything is ill-mannered, but I reject that as a very egocentric view to be frank.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a above......discuss "

Because the majority haven't read my profile and aren't what I'm looking for...

Because I don't have the time to reply to them all...

Because I've learnt that when I do I get a mouthful of abuse...

Because I don't want to...

Because I don't have to...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Alternatively.......why would 4 words from a total stranger make you feel any better?

It's easier to just take the hint and move on - and concentrate on those that do reply!

I've never said thanks but no thanks to a chugger in the high street, a Jehovah's witness knocking on my door or a telesales call on the phone - why would an equally unsolicited message on here make me do otherwise? "

90% of the time its not worth the agro as anyone can send a nice thought out message and then turn into a complete dick when you tell them your not interested. People let the tiniest of things bother them on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It isn't hard to say - I just can't be arsed.

Does that answer the question ?

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

I do 75% of the time. For the 'hi Im xyz' i don't.

If i get a message shorter than my rejection one, why would i sit & type it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fack replying, I barely message anyone let alone reply. Too lazy, as per the rest on here that don't reply. Surely if the person doesn't message you back it means they aren't interested anyway? Girls on here get 100s a day, give them a break

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a above......discuss

The answer is in your profile. "Time is precious" - you don't want yours wasting so why expect others to waste their's telling you something that is clearly obvious from a no reply.

Could not agree more with this x

Because it's polite.

Like I said, put in as much effort as they have. If it's a 'hi u k?' then fuck that. If they have made an effort then in my opinion they deserve the manners and dignity of a simple thanks but no thanks even if it is obvious.

I know I make an effort in messaging people and I appreciate a reply even if it's not the reply I wanted. "

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

I've had men reply to my reply with 'why reply then!!!'

Site rules state no reply IS a reply. I do understand only getting rejection pms can't be fun. You can't please all the people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway.

oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks

That's not surprising at all that it would annoy you, as your profile clearly states what anyone who messages you can expect."

Just a shame some people just don't don't read it to understand, but hey i tried

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No

reply = Thank you very much for your kind and interesting Email, but I /

We are not interested in meeting with you, so conversing would be a

waste of yours and my / our time.

So no reply is a considerably nicer answer than thanks, but no thanks

"

would be a good idea to put this type of paragraph on your profiles.. th) use the block button can back it up.

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By *spot50Man
over a year ago

rochester

I posted about this in forem the other day, and was shocked to hear that women get abuse when they give a polite no thanks, well its because of a few rotten apples that spoil it for us genuine blokes, I just except no answer is no interest, and always say thanks for reply if I get a no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its easier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway.

oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks

That's not surprising at all that it would annoy you, as your profile clearly states what anyone who messages you can expect.

Just a shame some people just don't don't read it to understand, but hey i tried

"

Reading is a skill that seems to have passed some site members by

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I'm not interested I will always reply & try to stay polite. Something along the lines, "thanks for the message but no thanks I'm not interested". I'm surprised by the number that then say thanks for the reply anyway.

oh that anoys me getting a further message - thanks for the no thanks

That's not surprising at all that it would annoy you, as your profile clearly states what anyone who messages you can expect.

Just a shame some people just don't don't read it to understand, but hey i tried

Reading is a skill that seems to have passed some site members by "

If someone has sent me a polite note, then its only fair to respond......and yes I know I'm a single lady and gets lots of messages, but for every 100 "idiot" ones there is usually a polite one just trying to meet someone...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always reply even if it's to say no thanks

What pisses us off is when ppl look at our profile a few times so we msg them only to get no reply but then they constantly view profile......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we always reply to messages some are thanks but no thanks , ,

sometimes weve been forced to be a little rude when asked about things weve clearly stated that were not into on our profile

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Everyone likes to tailor messages to the recipient and the situation.

Many of us just have soooo many messages that even coping with who we're interested in can be a like a full time job, let alone tailoring messages saying no thanks.

I wouldn't just write saying thanks but no thanks, maybe some would. So time constraints probably a big factor for many.

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