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"i believe it is polite to say thanks but no thanks." And you don't get 30 messages an hour hun so its easy for you to say that. Is it polite to mail someone when you clearly don't fit what they are looking for? | |||
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"i believe it is polite to say thanks but no thanks. And you don't get 30 messages an hour hun so its easy for you to say that. Is it polite to mail someone when you clearly don't fit what they are looking for?" i can only imagine what it is like to get so many and having to reply to them all. can you not block mails by using the limits on your account | |||
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"i believe it is polite to say thanks but no thanks. And you don't get 30 messages an hour hun so its easy for you to say that. Is it polite to mail someone when you clearly don't fit what they are looking for? i can only imagine what it is like to get so many and having to reply to them all. can you not block mails by using the limits on your account" Well i have had 23 in the last 30 mins and you just have to scim read if that. | |||
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"lol just tell them to fuck off" I would be scared of the response back | |||
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"If they have met the criteria I have placed on my profile....age, geographical location etc. then of course I message them back, even if it is to say no thanks. But when a 52 year old guy from Liverpool messages me and he meets neither, then why should I bother to reply?" Do you spend all that time looking and checking profiles? It would take longer than just cutting and pasting no to everyone. | |||
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"If they have met the criteria I have placed on my profile....age, geographical location etc. then of course I message them back, even if it is to say no thanks. But when a 52 year old guy from Liverpool messages me and he meets neither, then why should I bother to reply? Do you spend all that time looking and checking profiles? It would take longer than just cutting and pasting no to everyone." If they are the right age and local enough for me then of course I read their profiles...it's up there at the top of their message....age and location | |||
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"lol just tell them to fuck off I would be scared of the response back" Send your reply one letter at a time to spell out the words over several messages.... Beside it likely being the most messages some folk have had in one day... after the forth or fifth letter you can add "can you tell what it is yet?" | |||
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"lol just tell them to fuck off I would be scared of the response back Send your reply one letter at a time to spell out the words over several messages.... Beside it likely being the most messages some folk have had in one day... after the forth or fifth letter you can add "can you tell what it is yet?"" I love it | |||
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" I get alot of messages and obviously not everyone is your cup of tea do you ignor the message or send a "thanks but your not for me" back" I think the honest answer is two fold.... 1) how you would like to be let down if it was you on the other end..... 2) do what you feel most comfortable doing.... I don't think there is any "right or wrong" answer to this.... and I think that if people don't take rejection well then swinging isn't really for them... | |||
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"This topic has probs been done to death but i was just wondering what was the best way to do rejection if there is one I get alot of messages and obviously not everyone is your cup of tea do you ignor the message or send a "thanks but your not for me" back" Even if it has been discussed before, we find it an interesting and helpful point for discussion. Quite true, not everybody is your cup of tea, and conversely we are not everybody's choice. We always wonder what to say and have in the past used the phrase, when not wanting to meet couples for playtimes, "one of us is not comfortable with the situation" which leaves it open as to where the rejection came from. It works sometime. On another occasion we said that for reasons "nothing to do with the couple, as we had enjoyed the initial meeting" but for reasons to do with our own relationship we had decided not to pursue further at this point but wishing them the best of luck. Some still take offence, most don't but that is invariably a result of their insecurities. Honesty works best and when wrapped up nicely, it should not cause problems. We do not take offence when we get rejected - hey that it's life... Would be boring if we all chased the same people | |||
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"What suits me is that if the person mailing me meets the criteria my profile stipulates, but for whatever reason I'm not attracted, then I will always reply in a friendly manner. If they blatantly don't meet the criteria then I usualy delete as they obviously haven't read my profile. If they match on all but one or two things, I will reply and say things like 'you have noticed I smoke' etc, as they may have missed that! And thats how I'd prefer my sent mail to be treated, but I understand everyone is different!" Appreciate what you are saying here but I hope that you too appreciate that many women/couples on this site get dozens of messages each and every week. | |||
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"What suits me is that if the person mailing me meets the criteria my profile stipulates, but for whatever reason I'm not attracted, then I will always reply in a friendly manner. If they blatantly don't meet the criteria then I usualy delete as they obviously haven't read my profile. If they match on all but one or two things, I will reply and say things like 'you have noticed I smoke' etc, as they may have missed that! And thats how I'd prefer my sent mail to be treated, but I understand everyone is different!" Actually, had missed this one somehow. Agree with you, if it is obvious people have done a cut and paste and/ or not bothered reading our profile, we would just delete the msg. If there is incongruence in one or two areas but we like the rest we will raise the point for discussion... so quite agree with your stance... | |||
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" I fully appreciate that, which is why I only mail people with whom It would seem I am compatible. And I would hope that they would appreciate the fact that I've taken the time to check compatibility and to write a personalised (non-copy and paste message) and send it to them! I certainly wouldn't appreciate being told to fuck off as others have suggested" That is... would be wholly unacceptable regardless of compatibility, the fact that this is swing site should not make any difference in the way people interact? We would not do that even if it was a cut and paste or even if the person had been rude..... Just would not... | |||
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" I get alot of messages and obviously not everyone is your cup of tea do you ignor the message or send a "thanks but your not for me" back I think the honest answer is two fold.... 1) how you would like to be let down if it was you on the other end..... 2) do what you feel most comfortable doing.... I don't think there is any "right or wrong" answer to this.... and I think that if people don't take rejection well then swinging isn't really for them... " _abio has it right again no right or wrong way yet its polite to say no thanks. Being in the majority ( the single mens category Oh so many of us and so few to share it around with )we have to accept rejection the odd no thanks rather than just seeing the message deleted is a bonus. But for the minority groups women and couples I can see the problem of typing no thank you 50 times a day shame they cant have rejection quotes like the ones for current status | |||
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"have used the following and found it works well Thank you for your message. Unfortunately I dont think we quite match and will not be taking things any further at this time. Once again .. Many thanks and all the very best " So, no point trying again;-);-) is there? You should have said ... should have been really more direct pmsl xxxxx | |||
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"You could also try something polite yet subtle …. “Hey thanks for getting in touch. How about meeting at 10 past not, on the 12th of never at the ‘Cat in Hells Chance’ on Never Never Land Street. If you are using satnav and need to postcode it’s ANO 2U I absolutly love that " | |||
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" I get alot of messages and obviously not everyone is your cup of tea do you ignor the message or send a "thanks but your not for me" back I think the honest answer is two fold.... 1) how you would like to be let down if it was you on the other end..... 2) do what you feel most comfortable doing.... I don't think there is any "right or wrong" answer to this.... and I think that if people don't take rejection well then swinging isn't really for them... " My first and so far, only message sent on here requesting a meet. Having searched for someone as compatable as possible, I thought I`d found a lady who I thought I would like to meet. I sent what I thought was a detailed message giving some options etc. There was no reply but I later found out that the message had been deleted, my profile not looked at and my being blocked by her. At first I was quite hurt by this but later I got to thinking that if lady could not have even been bothered to reply, let alons read my profile then perhaps she wasn`t worthy of my attention in the first place. a simple "no thanks" would have sufficed. | |||
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"have used the following and found it works well Thank you for your message. Unfortunately I dont think we quite match and will not be taking things any further at this time. Once again .. Many thanks and all the very best So, no point trying again;-);-) is there? You should have said ... should have been really more direct pmsl xxxxx" Depends if I can be talked round lol | |||
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" I get alot of messages and obviously not everyone is your cup of tea do you ignor the message or send a "thanks but your not for me" back I think the honest answer is two fold.... 1) how you would like to be let down if it was you on the other end..... 2) do what you feel most comfortable doing.... I don't think there is any "right or wrong" answer to this.... and I think that if people don't take rejection well then swinging isn't really for them... My first and so far, only message sent on here requesting a meet. Having searched for someone as compatable as possible, I thought I`d found a lady who I thought I would like to meet. I sent what I thought was a detailed message giving some options etc. There was no reply but I later found out that the message had been deleted, my profile not looked at and my being blocked by her. At first I was quite hurt by this but later I got to thinking that if lady could not have even been bothered to reply, let alons read my profile then perhaps she wasn`t worthy of my attention in the first place. a simple "no thanks" would have sufficed." Totally in agreement - that is again, just a bit uncalled for.... and you are worth more than that! | |||
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"have used the following and found it works well Thank you for your message. Unfortunately I dont think we quite match and will not be taking things any further at this time. Once again .. Many thanks and all the very best So, no point trying again;-);-) is there? You should have said ... should have been really more direct pmsl xxxxx Depends if I can be talked round lol " Hm, we did wonder whether linguistics came into it... | |||
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"have used the following and found it works well Thank you for your message. Unfortunately I dont think we quite match and will not be taking things any further at this time. Once again .. Many thanks and all the very best So, no point trying again;-);-) is there? You should have said ... should have been really more direct pmsl xxxxx Depends if I can be talked round lol Hm, we did wonder whether linguistics came into it... " But then again sometimes actions speak louder than words | |||
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"Just as a side topic, how do you people who get loads of mails sort the wheat from the chaff. Do you just bulk delete without reading, read each message and decide from there or just look at the profile pic. As I've stated before, I only mail those who it would seem I fit in with and I'd hate to think that I've gone to the trouble of composing an appropriate message, for it to be just deleted without being read or considered. because " Agreed totally.. We read most messages and tend to reply with a polite "no, thanks" or "we will pass on this occasion, but good luck". We most certainly reply in more detail to messages where a clear effort has been made to send a personal message. | |||
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"Just as a side topic, how do you people who get loads of mails sort the wheat from the chaff. Do you just bulk delete without reading, read each message and decide from there or just look at the profile pic. As I've stated before, I only mail those who it would seem I fit in with and I'd hate to think that I've gone to the trouble of composing an appropriate message, for it to be just deleted without being read or considered. because " I do read every message i check out the profile and and if they have took the time to send a really nice message i will message them back Its the one liners that get me i got a guy who said yesterday "fancy a 9" cock in your mouth" i mean did he think he would get a meet out of that | |||
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" Agreed totally.. We read most messages and tend to reply with a polite "no, thanks" or "we will pass on this occasion, but good luck". We most certainly reply in more detail to messages where a clear effort has been made to send a personal message. " If only everyone were like that, I'd estimate that approx 90% of the introductory mail I send is unreplied to or deleted instantly. I'd be tempted to not bother, but by god I'm persistent! | |||
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"Just as a side topic, how do you people who get loads of mails sort the wheat from the chaff. Do you just bulk delete without reading, read each message and decide from there or just look at the profile pic. As I've stated before, I only mail those who it would seem I fit in with and I'd hate to think that I've gone to the trouble of composing an appropriate message, for it to be just deleted without being read or considered. because I do read every message i check out the profile and and if they have took the time to send a really nice message i will message them back Its the one liners that get me i got a guy who said yesterday "fancy a 9" cock in your mouth" i mean did he think he would get a meet out of that " Well as long as they don't intimidate you then reply only if you want to. Most people realise if you read and delete your not interested. Just enjoy and have fun | |||
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"Well, I aim to be diplomatic, but have had a bit of ping pong today with a couple who weren't happy because we didn't want to meet but equally another couple sent a reply back saying thanks for at least replying. I do try to answer all mesages but got one first thing that just said 'hi - hw r u?' Deleted it! And no it wasn't from a single guy but a single female! Z" Hi, How are you? Wouldn't want everyone to think it's just the single females | |||
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"Well, I aim to be diplomatic, but have had a bit of ping pong today with a couple who weren't happy because we didn't want to meet but equally another couple sent a reply back saying thanks for at least replying. I do try to answer all mesages but got one first thing that just said 'hi - hw r u?' Deleted it! And no it wasn't from a single guy but a single female! Z Hi, How are you? Wouldn't want everyone to think it's just the single females " lol - it wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been abbreviated!!!! If you can't be bothered to type a few extra letters then how lazy are you going to be? Z | |||
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"This topic has probs been done to death but i was just wondering what was the best way to do rejection if there is one I get alot of messages and obviously not everyone is your cup of tea do you ignor the message or send a "thanks but your not for me" back" 'Thank you but no thank you works for me' It acknowledges the effort you have put into a message and is in no way offensive. Far better than ignoring . Thanks Mike | |||
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" ..I'd actually rather not hear back from someone than get all excited at seeing a reply and then deflated when I read it and see 'no thanks' in a way that makes me feel.....well, like crap " I'd never thought about it like that | |||
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"This topic has probs been done to death but i was just wondering what was the best way to do rejection if there is one I get alot of messages and obviously not everyone is your cup of tea do you ignor the message or send a "thanks but your not for me" back" use phonetics ? | |||
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"This topic has probs been done to death but i was just wondering what was the best way to do rejection if there is one I get alot of messages and obviously not everyone is your cup of tea do you ignor the message or send a "thanks but your not for me" back 'Thank you but no thank you works for me' It acknowledges the effort you have put into a message and is in no way offensive. Far better than ignoring . Thanks Mike " Hi Mike - and yes, totally agree with that x | |||
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"This topic has probs been done to death but i was just wondering what was the best way to do rejection if there is one I get alot of messages and obviously not everyone is your cup of tea do you ignor the message or send a "thanks but your not for me" back 'Thank you but no thank you works for me' It acknowledges the effort you have put into a message and is in no way offensive. Far better than ignoring . Thanks Mike " Is that why so many then feel the need to follow-up with ... "Why not?" | |||
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"This topic has probs been done to death but i was just wondering what was the best way to do rejection if there is one I get alot of messages and obviously not everyone is your cup of tea do you ignor the message or send a "thanks but your not for me" back 'Thank you but no thank you works for me' It acknowledges the effort you have put into a message and is in no way offensive. Far better than ignoring . Thanks Mike Is that why so many then feel the need to follow-up with ... "Why not?" " Be appreciative - it means they want an explanation which suggests hint of cerebral functioning not always associated with male gender... PS kidding... before half the site pounces... | |||
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"I've never dared to ask why following a rejection, don't think my fragile ego could handle it! " no, we would not ask either... as if asking the question would make a difference in the outcome! Having said that we recently (initially) said a polite no to a single guy but his come back was so funny... followed by another even wittier one.. that we actually became goood mates and decided we will see him soon. So...sometimes it does work I guess | |||
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"I've never dared to ask why following a rejection, don't think my fragile ego could handle it! no, we would not ask either... as if asking the question would make a difference in the outcome! Having said that we recently (initially) said a polite no to a single guy but his come back was so funny... followed by another even wittier one.. that we actually became goood mates and decided we will see him soon. So...sometimes it does work I guess " Well done that man! He'll be revered as a deity to all the single guys on here as we desperately try to compose humerous responses to rejections! | |||
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"I've never dared to ask why following a rejection, don't think my fragile ego could handle it! no, we would not ask either... as if asking the question would make a difference in the outcome! Having said that we recently (initially) said a polite no to a single guy but his come back was so funny... followed by another even wittier one.. that we actually became goood mates and decided we will see him soon. So...sometimes it does work I guess Well done that man! He'll be revered as a deity to all the single guys on here as we desperately try to compose humerous responses to rejections!" Well that's just fecking GREAT! | |||
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"I've never dared to ask why following a rejection, don't think my fragile ego could handle it! no, we would not ask either... as if asking the question would make a difference in the outcome! Having said that we recently (initially) said a polite no to a single guy but his come back was so funny... followed by another even wittier one.. that we actually became goood mates and decided we will see him soon. So...sometimes it does work I guess Well done that man! He'll be revered as a deity to all the single guys on here as we desperately try to compose humerous responses to rejections!" I could ask him nicely to identify himself, and start up a new business in the shape of a Training Consultancy for Males who feel rejected... Module 1 : How to interpret a rejection based on common sense philosophy! Module 2 : How to reframe a rejection into an invitation for further investigation of previous rejector! Module 3 : How to turn the second rejection into a new positive response etc! etc Suggestions for further modules... | |||
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